Clegg may want to go back to the drawing board with his new soundbite for the LibDem spring conference. He’s planning to attack the male “presenteeism culture” in parliament. Catchy…

LibDems are drawing up “job-share” plans to help female MPs that include sharing portfolios. Before he gets carried away with plans for government, Clegg would do well to remember his own party has just seven female MPs. And their seats are not that safe.

Self-confessed teen-fondler Mike Hancock is up to his old tricks again. The randy LibDem MP for Portsmouth doubles up on his expense claims by serving as a city councillor as well and it’s in that job that he is now dodging disciplinary action over allegations of impropriety. Due to face a local hearing about his inappropriate behaviour concerning a vulnerable young constituent, Hancock produced a doctor’s note saying he was too unwell to attend for at least a month.

He was not however too unwell to attend an all-expenses paid junket in Strasbourg the week before, or front up a Sunday Mirror campaign last weekend…

Well you cannot accuse the LibDems of failing to pull out all the stops for Eastleigh. It now seems they have even taken to paying their few remaining supporters to make the journey to the frontline. “We can provide reasonable travel expenses, accommodation and £10 for food per day” they tell keen weirdy-beardy activists. If they lose and try to spin that the seat was not winnable after Huhne, remind them of this.

Pity those poor long-suffering secretaries and researchers of LibDem ministers. Bag-carriers working for Danny Alexander, Jeremy Browne and Lynne Featherstone have been sent on a course specialising in “dealing with challenging behaviour” over the last few months. Overall MPs have spent more than £10,000 on sending their staffers on the programme, all at the expense of the taxpayer. None of Gordon’s staff are on the list, but then they could probably teach the course.

The Prime Minister may have been in Eastleigh this afternoon but the LibDem campaign has received the biggest boost today: Stephen Gough, the local Eastleigh naked rambler, has declared he is a member of the LibDems and planted his yellow rosette firmly on his er, poll. They’ve got the big mo…

Via Southern Daily Echo

Things are getting very serious for David Ward. Earlier this week Guido revealed how the LibDem leadership was at the end of their tether, now Nick Clegg has taken the matter out of the hands of his chief whip by demanding a meeting in person.

Could he finally be about to show a second yellow card?

After Guido reported David Ward’s second yellow card offence yesterday, he has now been ordered to meet the LibDem chief whip for a second time. Guido understands that the party leadership has run out of patience after Ward’s refusal to back down, apparently “decisions will be made“. The real problem for Ward is his isolation from fellow LibDem MPs. A senior party source whispers to Guido:

“David is swiftly losing the support of his colleagues. At first there was some sympathy that he could have genuinely misspoken. That argument is wearing very thin. He seems to think that being pro-Palestine is the same as being anti-Semitic.”

Ward this morning tweeted that he has a “busy day ahead”. He better believe it…

The Special Adviser code states:

“19. Special advisers must not take part in national political activities, which are: holding, in a party political organisation, office which impinges wholly or mainly on party politics in the field of Parliament, the Scottish Parliament, the National Assembly for Wales, the Northern Ireland Assembly or the European Parliament…

20(ii) …if they wish to take part in a General, European or by-election campaign, or to help in a party headquarters or research unit during such a campaign, they must first resign their appointment.”

Despite this, Nick Clegg’s SpAd James McGrory launched the LibDem Eastleigh by-election campaign last night from the Cabinet Office. The Tories reported him to the powers that be and now the Cabinet Office say:

“James has already apologised for sending the email.  He has been reminded of the rules.” 

He’s sorry, he’s sorry, he’s so so sorry. Who he has apologised to was not mentioned, but an interesting precedent has been set; abuse taxpayer funded position to politic and you are fine as long as you are “reminded of the rules”. Guido imagines that some people over at the Department for Education will note the wrist-slapping with interest.

UPDATE: McGrory apologised to the Cabinet Secretary.

Nick Clegg was too weak to sack David Ward for his “the Jews” rant last month, instead giving Bradford East’s answer to Mel Gibson a final warning. Has Ward learned his lesson and quietly moved to the shadows? Of course not.

Yesterday he was blaming that old classic, the “machine” conspiracy, and today he called for a boycott of Israel. Worst of all he has also asked Jewish News it would all be alright if he used the phrase “Jewish community”, rather than his own personal favourite, “the Jews”.

So, was it really a yellow card?

Who says the Eastleigh LibDems don’t have a sense of humour? This is the latest literature they have been pushing round, unfortunately published before the demise of their MP:

A case of not being on the same page, on the same page…