10 Illiberal Policies of the LibDems

Nick Clegg, that bastion of liberalism, is going around blaming David Cameron’s illiberal policies for the deaths of drug users this morning. Even a LibDem voter on an acid trip could see through Clegg’s conversion to a fearless crusader for the cause of freedom. This is the same Nick Clegg whose party wants to tax fizzy drinks more, tax booze more, change the definition of cider so they can tax it more, ban branding on fag packets, ban houses that are not zero carbon, ban smoking in cars, ban smoking in pubs and restaurants, ban petrol and diesel cars, implement state regulation of the press and regulate goldfish. What would Gladstone say?

LibDems’ Richmond Candidate is Jacko Wacko

A THRILLER is developing in Richmond as the LibDems select Robin Meltzer to take on Zac Goldsmith. Meltzer certainly has HISTORY. As a youth, he was a key organiser of the slavishly devoted international Michael Jackson fan club and was one of the disgraced King of Pop’s most loyal defenders. In 1994, Meltzer wrote a letter to the Indy arguing: “It is not Michael Jackson who has let us down and betrayed us. It is the media. The global media have been solely responsible for all but destroying the career of a man who has touched millions”. Ahem.

And here is a bizarre interview he gave about a Jacko health scare and his regular visits to children’s hospitals, speaking as one of the leaders of the MJ groupie community:

When Guido called Meltzer for comment, instead of telling him to BEAT IT, he simply said ‘SHAMON’.

UPDATE:

UPDATE II: Meltzer just can’t stop loving them. He also follows on Twitter Paris Jackson, Prince Jackson, Randy Jackson, Tito Jackson, Janet Jackson, Taj Jackson, TJ Jackson and Taryll Jackson. He’s got it BAAAAD!

Jeremy Browne Standing Down

He will quit parliament at the election. Here is his resignation letter in full (click to enlarge):

Bz_KF_bIcAA7AGR (1)

CLICK TO ENLARGE.

He says he’s not defecting…

Home Office Ministerial Movements Rumour

A Whitehall source whispers to Guido this afternoon that civil servants at the Home Office have been asked to prepare a new minister briefing for today.

Other senior Home Office sources are in the dark about any potential moves.

Are we not overdue a Liberal Democrat reshuffle?

Cable Doubles His Spin Team and Charges Us £120,000

It must be tough spinning for the curmudgeonly old Vince Cable. So hard in fact that he’s had to hire not one but two media handlers at a cost of over £120,000 to the taxpayer. BIS are seeking “two highly motivated, strategic and news savvy and politically astute” deputy heads of news to fill what was once a single job. Cable polishing skills essential for your £56,000…

Big Oil Freebie for Conflicted Energy Committee Baronet

Regular readers will remember Sir Robert Smith’s attempts to follow in the sleazy footsteps of Tim Yeo, namely the conflict of interest between the LibDem baronet’s position on the Energy select committee and his registrable shareholdings in Shell, Rio Tinto and Glaxosmithkline. Financial interest, tick! What next for Sir Bob at the Yeo School of Milking Your Cushy Energy Job for Personal Gain?

Well, Smith has just declared to the parliamentary authorities that BP generously paid for him and his wife to go to the Commonwealth Games in Glasgow. No expense spared, natch. Freebie from big oil, tick! Robert will be be back scrutinising the laws that regulate BP next week…

Leaders’ Wives: Cos-t of Living Lib Dem Edition

Miriam complimented a business-like white shirt by showing her true LibDem colours with a yellow below-the-knee wool mohair skirt with folded front pleat, designed to sit on the waist, available from Cos for £89. Stylishly accompanied by a taste of home: gold heels from Spanish brand Uterqüe.

Nick wore a navy Hackett suit, with a white shirt and red tie from M&S…

WATCH: Tim Farron Jokes About LibDem Sex Scandals

One line jarred in particular in LibDem President Tim Farron’s speech today:

“Of course there are some parts of the job I am happy to pass on. The next time any of you get caught with your pants around your ankles, the media can call someone else to make a comment.”

The victims of Mike Hancock, Chris Rennard and Cyril Smith won’t be laughing…

Flood of Pre-Speech Bets on Clegg to Quit

As Clegg decides what he is going to wear for his speech at 1pm, Paddy Power have slashed the odds on him to announce he will quit as LibDem leader before the election:

[…]

+ READ MORE +

Super Secret LibDem Strategy Memo Leaked

It’s a truth universally acknowledged that should you ask nicely for something not to be leaked, said document will always leak. And thus, here is Paddy Ashdown’s Liberal Democrat election strategy:

The attached “comprehensive briefing” document is painfully dull, but […]

+ READ MORE +

LibDems Keep Women Away From Lawyers in Glasgow

The LibDems are taking no chances that the past indiscretions of pervy peers and handsy MPs will come back to bite them up in Glasgow. As illustrated by the map above, the LibDem Women’s stand in the conference exhibition hall […]

+ READ MORE +

More Mixed Messaging From the Labour Party

David Ward, according to Labour, when he says something Labour disagree with:

“vile and irresponsible.”

David Ward, according to Labour, when he says something Labour agree with:

[…]

+ READ MORE +



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Quote of the Day

Ken Clarke tells the Ben Fellows trial:

“The idea that I would go strolling off in order to grope a man in an office is highly unlikely.”

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