Speaker’s Spinner Eyes Up Browne’s Seat

Readers will remember John Bercow’s former spinner Justine McGuinness, who was forced to resign after Guido revealed her bizarre anti-Tory rant at LibDem conference. Where is she now? McGuinness is in the running to replace the outgoing Jeremy Browne as MP for Taunton Deane, last night making the shortlist to be the new LibDem candidate for the seat. If Justine makes it back to parliament, the “completely impartial” Speaker will treat her as he would any other MP, won’t he?

Davey Diverts His Energy

Civil servants are becoming increasingly annoyed at how little time Energy Secretary Ed Davey is spending on the  job.

A Whitehall source whispers to Guido: “He spends just two days in the department and the rest of time clinging to his seat.” 

Davey’s 7,560 majority may look semi-safe on paper, but the Tories are closing in on Kingston for the first time since 1992.

Coalition Tension Escalates

Crikey…

Lib Dem Mini-Reshuffle in Full

  • Norman Baker – OUT of Home Office
  • Mark Hunter – OUT as whip
  • Jenny Willott – OUT as whip
  • Lynne Featherstone is Minister of State for Crime Prevention at the Home Office.
  • Baroness Northover is Parliamentary Under Secretary of State at DfID.
  • Lorely Burt is Assistant Government Whip.
  • Tom Brake is Assistant Government Whip, as well as Deputy Leader of the House of Commons.
  • Lady Garden is Government Whip.

Featherstone’s first comment in her new job: “I have always had a very constructive relationship with Theresa May…”

LibDems Presume They Will Form Government Post-2015

At least the LibDems can be relied on for blinkered optimism in the face of impending doom. Recipients of the party’s promotional “Brochure 2015″ were amused at this plug for the annual LibDem business dinner due to be held in September 2015. The discussion on “sustainable long-term growth post-2015″ boasts:

“attendance from the entire Liberal Democrat business team including senior Special Advisers in the Department for Business, Innovation and Skills and HM Treasury [and] relevant Special Advisers across other departments”

The terrifying thing is, even if they are almost wiped out, the LibDems could still hold the balance of power…

Jihad Jenny: Hamas “Freedom Fighters” “Right” to Use Violence
+Claims “Dangerous” “Money and Influence” of “The Lobby”
+Blames Canada Terror Attack on Support for Jewish State

Loony “independent Liberal Democrat” peer Jenny Tonge has gone off on one again. ‘Jihad’ Jenny yesterday defended Hamas during a Lords debate on the Middle East, saying the terrorist organisation had a right to use violence against Israel:

“The propaganda coming out of the Israeli embassy now is to concentrate on Hamas, the so-called terrorists who of course many people in the Middle East see as freedom fighters – we must remember that… Hamas deserves the right to defend the people of Gaza against the relentless blockade and helicopter gunships over that area, targeting and killing so-called terrorists and, more often, many innocent civilians. The people of Gaza have a right to be defended, too.”

She went on to suggest Canada was responsible for the recent terror attack in the country because of its support for the Jewish state:

“It is no surprise either that a recent incident in Canada, and an exposed terrorist plot in Australia, have followed attacks in our country and the USA. Both of these countries have unhesitatingly supported Israel with the USA and the United Kingdom.”

Then, to complete the hat-trick, Tonge went for that old classic, the rich Jewish conspiracy line, throwing in a cute defence of David “The Jews” Ward into the mix for good measure:

“In my opinion and the opinion of many people who are afraid to say it publicly – but I will – there is none so important as the thing that dare not speak its name. I am talking about the activities of the lobby, in this country and in America… Those of us who challenge the lobby are threatened and disposed of by our leaders as best they can. David Ward, my colleague in the other place, is currently fighting yet another battle against the lobby as I speak. All lobbies are dangerous and undemocratic; the pro-Israel lobby is not the only one, but it is particularly dangerous in this context. Money and influence win over truth and justice.”

If the pro-Israeli conspiracy is so all-powerful, how come parliament voted to support Palestinian statehood earlier this month? 

10 Illiberal Policies of the LibDems

Nick Clegg, that bastion of liberalism, is going around blaming David Cameron’s illiberal policies for the deaths of drug users this morning. Even a LibDem voter on an acid trip could see through Clegg’s conversion to a fearless crusader for the cause of freedom. This is the same Nick Clegg whose party wants to tax fizzy drinks more, tax booze more, change the definition of cider so they can tax it more, ban branding on fag packets, ban houses that are not zero carbon, ban smoking in cars, ban smoking in pubs and restaurants, ban petrol and diesel cars, implement state regulation of the press and regulate goldfish. What would Gladstone say?

LibDems’ Richmond Candidate is Jacko Wacko

A THRILLER is developing in Richmond as the LibDems select Robin Meltzer to take on Zac Goldsmith. Meltzer certainly has HISTORY. As a youth, he was a key organiser of the slavishly devoted international Michael Jackson fan club and was one of the disgraced King of Pop’s most loyal defenders. In 1994, Meltzer wrote a letter to the Indy arguing: “It is not Michael Jackson who has let us down and betrayed us. It is the media. The global media have been solely responsible for all but destroying the career of a man who has touched millions”. Ahem.

And here is a bizarre interview he gave about a Jacko health scare and his regular visits to children’s hospitals, speaking as one of the leaders of the MJ groupie community:

When Guido called Meltzer for comment, instead of telling him to BEAT IT, he simply said ‘SHAMON’.

UPDATE:

UPDATE II: Meltzer just can’t stop loving them. He also follows on Twitter Paris Jackson, Prince Jackson, Randy Jackson, Tito Jackson, Janet Jackson, Taj Jackson, TJ Jackson and Taryll Jackson. He’s got it BAAAAD!

Jeremy Browne Standing Down

He will quit parliament at the election. Here is his resignation letter in full (click to enlarge):

Bz_KF_bIcAA7AGR (1)

CLICK TO ENLARGE.

He says he’s not defecting…[…]

+ READ MORE +

Home Office Ministerial Movements Rumour

A Whitehall source whispers to Guido this afternoon that civil servants at the Home Office have been asked to prepare a new minister briefing for today.

Other senior Home Office sources are in the dark about any potential moves.

Are […]

+ READ MORE +

Cable Doubles His Spin Team and Charges Us £120,000

It must be tough spinning for the curmudgeonly old Vince Cable. So hard in fact that he’s had to hire not one but two media handlers at a cost of over £120,000 to the taxpayer. BIS are seeking “two highly […]

+ READ MORE +

Big Oil Freebie for Conflicted Energy Committee Baronet

Regular readers will remember Sir Robert Smith’s attempts to follow in the sleazy footsteps of Tim Yeo, namely the conflict of interest between the LibDem baronet’s position on the Energy select committee and his registrable shareholdings in Shell, Rio Tinto […]

+ READ MORE +



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Quote of the Day

Liz Kendall is asked by Tom Newton Dunn if she would ever ban the Sun from one of her press conferences:

“If you stripped naked and ran in front of me, Tom, I might have second thoughts about it, but apart from that, no.”

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