Guidogram: LibDem Killer Convicted

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Above the Laws

Ever since he walked in May, a David Laws imminent return story has been the mark of a slow news day, however this one is different – there is actually some detail.

The Mail and the Indy have been tipped off to Nick Clegg’s private talks with David Laws about the possibility of a return to a new “Mr Fix-It” position in the Cabinet Office, which would avoid the need for a reshuffle.

A fixer is much needed, but it’s almost as if the coalition big-wigs have decided he is innocent before the Standards and Privileges Committee has made a determination. What about due process? A cynic might think there is an establishment stitch-up going on to clear someone who paid his boyfriend £40,000 of taxpayers’ money, other MPs have gone to jail for less.  Laws has been under investigation for nearly ten months. If it was all so innocuous, why has the inquiry taken so long?

UPDATE: Latest betting on the return of Laws here.

The Tim Farron Scandal Breaks

There was much speculation about a scandal breaking last month that involved LibDem President Tim Farron. Guido thinks he might have uncovered it. After being outed on EyeSpyMP as a first class train traveller last night, Farron confessed his sins:

First Class travel ban? What ban…

Were you expecting something else?

UPDATE: As a commenter “Tax Payer” points out:

“He’s claimed £6,513 so far this year for rail travel, which is one of the highest. Looks like he doesn’t manage to get a ‘super cheap’ ticket very often.”

The Barnsley Bombshell

Dan Jarvis is heading to Westminster as Labour’s second MP to have served in the army.  His new job was guaranteed from the moment he was selected, but the race behind him has left some stunned faces this morning. The total meltdown of the LibDems in May is well on course with Clegg left in a humiliating 6th place behind an indy and the BNP. And down £500.

UKIP sources were pleasantly surprised when Guido spoke to them last night, but there is no denying in the light of day that coming second is a major moment for them. Many a Tory ChihuahuaConservatives In their Heads, Ukip AHeart, will be heartened by this result, they were hardly expected to get excited by the utterly uninspiring Tory candidate. It’s fascinating to see the Labour Eurosceptic vote is growing too. According to pollsters Survation, who predicted the LibDem collapse and UKIP rise, 29% of UKIPs growth came from Labour voters switching:


Issues like votes for prisoners seem to be playing well for UKIP, driving new recruits to their cause. More decrees from Europe must be highlighted and pushed. It’s clearly playing well.

While it is embarrassing for a sitting PM to be beaten by a minor party, made up of many voters he feels should be supporting him, there will be cheers from the blues lower down the ladder with this result.

Love You Long Lembit

Lembit has taken a bit of a gamble with his curious bid to be the LibDem candidate who will come a poor third to Boris and Ken. His Citizen Smith campaign video spoof is certainly a little unnerving in parts. You can’t help but notice toward the end that old Lembit’s enjoying himself a bit too much. Is it a head-shot?

It seems almost as if there is at least one keen voter he’s met…

Clegg Set To Be Humiliated by the Miner’s Daughter

The deputy Prime Minister (when he remembers) is set to be humiliated in the Barnsley by-election because, according to a survey in the Mail, the LibDems are looking likely to come fourth after coming second in the general election.

UKIP’s Jane Collins was ‘born and bred’ in Yorkshire, raised in Pontefract, the daughter of a miner and is the blonde who is set to land a bombshell on Clegg’s party.

Dan Jarvis (Labour) will cruise home with a wacking 63%, James Hockney (Conservative) will stay in double figures on 13%, Jane Collins (UKIP) on 9% could push Dominic Carman (Liberal Democrats) into a humiliating fourth place next to the BNP and other assorted loonies. The survey data shows the most former LibDem voters switching back to Labour. This will give Clegg party management problems with the left of the LibDems…

Hancock’s Lolita Was Barely Legal

Regular readers will remember all of this:

And now sleazy old perv Mike Hancock has admitted on the stand that he “kissed and cuddled” a 17-year-old and had a string of extra-marital affairs which he had previously denied.

Hancock was in court to testify against his election opponent and anti-child abuse campaigner Les Cummings, who has just been found guilty of spreading false information during an election period because he alleged the girl was 14.

It may be legal, but is fondling schoolgirls really conduct befitting a Member of Parliament?

No 2 Nick

It was heavily recommended last week that the No2AV campaign take the fight to Nick Clegg.

That should do the trick…

Come Vote With Me

Last night’s Newsnight special hardly covered the referendum in glory, despite the best attempts of the BBC to nail their colours to their sleeve. With the headline “Majority want overhaul of voting system, poll suggests” you would have thought that […]

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More on that Alleged LibDem Scandal

Andrew Neil’s hint of a pending LibDem scandal has set tongues wagging. While Guido did hear an amusing tale from a cabby the other day about a certain LibDem cabinet minister and a large black dominatrix, he doesn’t think this […]

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Local Government In a Pickle

The Guardian is very excited about a leaked email from some LibDem local council sandalistas who seem rather scared of Eric Pickles. As sound as he is round, when asked to find 25% cuts, Pickles ended up mapping out 51% […]

+ READ MORE +

Friendly Printers

Tom Watson has been in Court today as a witness in Jim Devine’s fraud trial,  The Telegraph reports that Devine alleges that Watson and Labour whip Steven McCabe told him when “merry” in the Strangers Bar that he could take […]

+ READ MORE +



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