Wednesday, April 23, 2014

Labour MP Explains How Websites Work

Labour’s Brian Donohoe. Dot com.

Tuesday, April 22, 2014

Labour’s Shadow Europe Minister Thinks Gibraltar is an Island

Gareth Thomas, Labour’s Shadow Minister for Europe, was banging on last week that the government wasn’t doing enough for Gibraltar. He boasts that he has “visited the island twice in the last six months” whilst whilst no Foreign Office Minister has visited since 2011. He is calling on “a Foreign Office Minister to visit the island as soon as possible to witness first hand the unnecessary delays and disruption to travellers trying to cross the border.”

Embarrassingly Gibraltar is, as any schoolboy knows, not an island. That border Gareth is talking about is a land border three-quarters of a mile long with Spain.

If he wants to be Europe minister he should probably get an atlas first.

Clutching Straw Denies Banana Drama

Jack Straw motoring down the M6 in his Jag while eating a banana. People have been prosecuted for the same, though Straw insists to the Sun that:

“Traffic was incredibly slow. We were either going slowly or we had stopped completely. My clear recollection is I reached for the banana and opened it when we weren’t moving at all.”

That’s not what the snapper says. He claims Straw’s Jag passed him at around 75 mph. On closer inspection, he doesn’t exactly look like he’s stationary…

Andy Burnham: “I Would Follow Moyes Textbook” in Office

Spare a thought for poor Andy Burnham, who looked up to David Moyes as “a wonderful role model.” Apparently he saw the sacked Manchester United coach as some sort of lode star, telling the New Statesman that the “Moyes textbook would be on my desk as leader.” His gushing did not stop there, he went as far as to compare himself to the ousted coach by listing his qualities:

“* Loyalty — he sticks by people who are loyal to him. That’s one of my traits.
* He’s brought stability — that’s a great strength in a leader.
* He doesn’t flip about in the wind and do one thing one day and one the other.
* He doesn’t do some of the things other Premiership managers did, like grabbing a microphone on the pitch and lecturing players. He doesn’t go in for showiness. That’s another great Moyes trait.”

The leadership wannabe concluded Moyes has “great leadership skills, actually. As I say, I would follow the Moyes textbook. Was “the Moyes textbook” to blame for Burnham’s Mid-Staffs shame

Friday, April 18, 2014

Friday Caption Contest (Lines to Take Edition)

When David Axelrod met his future colleague Tom Baldwin, then the Times’ Washington correspondent. Captions in the comments please…

Via @laurapitel

Thursday, April 17, 2014

Traditional British Welcome for New Ed Guru David Axelrod

Miliband has snapped up Obama’s campaign chief David Axelrod to be his strategic adviser for 2015. It didn’t take long for Wikipedia to report the move:

What he must think of his Twitter timeline Guido can only imagine:

So it’s Graf out and Axelrod in, a win for wee Dougie. He’ll be on a six-figure salary landing cash-strapped Labour in something of a cost-of-guru crisis. Remember to sort the work visa out this time, right chaps?

H/T @laurencereade

 

Foodbanks, Christianity and Socialism

foodbank-jesus

Today is Holy Thursday, when the Queen traditionally offers alms known as Maundy money to deserving senior citizens. Scholars say “Maundy” comes from Jesus; “Mandatum novum do vobis ut diligatis invicem sicut dilexi vos”, “A new commandment I give unto you, That ye love one another; as I have loved you”. Monarchs by tradition also washed the feet of the poor as Jesus washed the feet of his disciples. Jesus also said that You will always have the poor with you and can help them whenever you want.” Which brings Guido to foodbanks and socialism.

Socialists believe in the perfectibility of man, a doctrine going back to Rousseau, that people are capable of achieving perfection on earth through social means, without the grace of God. Unlike Jesus they don’t believe that the poor will always necessarily be with us. Foodbanks are mostly run by charities, many Christian inspired. The genuine anger from the left at the expansion of foodbanks is matched only by their incomprehension that some think their growth is a good thing and a sign that Christianity survives in an increasingly secular Britain. Christian help for the poor is an imperative given to them by their faith… 

If like many socialists you believe society can be perfected, foodbanks are a sign of society’s failure. If like most Christians you believe the poor will always be with us, then foodbanks are the successful application of the teachings of Jesus. Guido doesn’t believe in socialism or the perfectibility of man, so sees the expansion of foodbanks as a good thing for the poor. Politically Labour are trying to capitalise on foodbanks, whereas in America Obama rolls up his sleeves and has photo ops helping out at foodbanks. It seems to Guido that Labour either should come out and say openly that they want to see higher welfare transfer payments to the poor or do some real community organising and help out at foodbanks rather than just moan about them. Happy Easter…

Austin Mitchell Resignation Confirms Guido Story, Despite Denial
Guardian Scrub Report of Miliband Seat Stitch Up From Website

Labour’s Austin Mitchell has announced via YouTube that he is standing down in 2015. However, this was well known after Guido revealed it was on the cards in the Sun back in January. At the time Mitchell said:

With a more lucid quote given to the local press:

“There is no truth in it. I haven’t said anything to anyone about stepping down. That will be decided by me and the local party which will meet to discuss it and nothing will be done or decided until then. I don’t know who has been shouting their mouth off. It could be an attempt to try to discredit the unions, but I am totally mystified. Meanwhile, I am getting better and am feeling younger and more vigorous.”

Bizarrely the original Guardian report about Mitchell’s announcement, published at 19.48 last night, included details of how Labour and the unions are stitching up the seat for former Miliband apparatchik Melanie Onn. By 21.10 history had been re-written and the intrigue had disappeared from the Guardian’s website. Regular readers will remember that Guido also revealed the details of this plot back at the beginning of the year:

“Austin Mitchell isn’t going to be running again in Grimsby and all the stops are being pulled out to secure the seat for former Labour HQ staffer Melanie Onn. Miraculously Onn was given a cosy regional campaigning role with Unison. Labour insiders say she got the gig at Ed’s personal request. That must be Ed’s promised ‘new, more open politics’ in action.”

So who got on the blower to shut that one down?

Wednesday, April 16, 2014

GuyNews Special: Walthamstow’s #BiscuitGate Outrage

Expenses are back in the news, so the Guy News special rapporteur decided to travel to sunny Walthamstow to ask Stella Creasy’s constituents what they thought about their MP’s #BiscuitGate troughing. A complaint was sent to the Parliamentary Standards Commissioner after St. Ella claimed £30.98 on expenses for Jammie Dodgers, chocolate fingers, kettle chips, sensations, Viennese biscuits, onion rings and Starburst sweeties for Labour Party volunteers.

The people of Walthamstow have spoken…

Tuesday, April 15, 2014

Labour Make Up “Shadow Cost of Living Minister”

As inflation falls and wages rise, Labour are hilariously trying to keep their tired meme going:

“Angela Smith has been appointed as Shadow Parliamentary Under-Secretary of State (water and the cost of living)”

Whatever the hell that even means? Presumably her job will be to go around the country pointing at things that have gone up in price.


Seen Elsewhere

The Douglas Carswell Shock | Tim Stanley
Carswell is a True Moderniser | Charles Moore
Assembling a New World Order | Henry Kissinger
India’s Modi Bypasses Mainstream Media | Index
Bercow on the Knife Edge | Quentin Letts
Welcome to Mississippi | Conservative Women
LibDems Select Hancock Replacement | Blue Guerilla
Carswell Resigning: “Moment Labour Won Election” | Labour Uncut
Why We Need Change | Douglas Carswell
The Howard Roark of Westminster | Guardian
Carswell, the Clacton Cassandra | James Ford


VOTER-RECALL
Get the book Find out more about PLMR


Douglas Carswell…

“I stab people in the front, not the back.”



Owen Jones says:

We also need Zil lanes.


Tip off Guido
Web Guido's Archives

Subscribe me to:






RSS


AddThis Feed Button
Archive


Labels
Guido Reads
Follow

Get every new post delivered to your Inbox.

Join 1,437 other followers