Nats Beasted By Dinosaur Denis

The SNP were determined to take the whole front-row of the opposition benches, to the left of the gangway in the Commons, in order mark their status as the third party. They even had MPs on a rota hogging the seats all morning in order to beat off the Labour awkward squad.

Five minutes before the Commons reconvened Denis Skinner turned up and promptly took his old seat. And that was that.

Yet it was not a complete disaster for the newbie Nats. Neanderthals such as Ronnie Campbell and Ian Lavery commanded no such respect and were forced to stand. The fun and games begin…

Chuka Aide Mail Briefing Unravels

Looks like another row is due between the Mail and the Labour Party after an unnamed aide for Chuka Umunna briefed out that it was their behaviour that so upset their boss, including a toxic claim of doorstepping a 102 year old grandmother:

Mail-land is keen to stress it’s simply not true:

Guido understands that no one from the Staggers checked with the Mail to see if it was true before punting the line…

Labour Spinners Rumour Mill

Ed Miliband’s spokesman James Stewart is off to make some money.

Tom Baldwin is out of a job but is still spinning away: Arguing with people on Twitter and writing conspiracy theory bollocks on the Guardian website.

Bob Roberts is said to be planning on staying on at Labour but it has been said that given the spectacular failure of Labour to communicate their message, some blame must land at the door of the party’s Director of Communications.

Patrick Hennessy, the deputy, is also said to be planning to stick around for regime change.

Much to the relief of the right-wing media.

#EdStone Hunt Intensifies

edstonejones

There is a Big Yellow Storage place in Kennington…

So, How Did Lord Oakeshott Do?

So how did former LibDem Lord Oakeshott do in his £600,000 donation spending spree that he described as “doing his bit to save UK from Tory government cringing to Ukip”. Just six candidates he backed financially won their seats. As for the rest? Well have a look:

Jessica Asato (Norwich North) – LOST
Catherine Atkinson (Erewash) – LOST
Nick Bent (Warrington South) – LOST
Louise Baldock (Stockton South) – LOST
Polly Billington (Thurrock) – LOST
Lisa Forbes (Peterborough) – LOST
Victoria Fowler (Nuneaton) – LOST
James Frith (Bury North) – LOST
Sophy Gardner (Gloucester) – LOST
Jamie Hanley (Pudsey) – LOST
Sarah Jones (Croydon Central) – LOST
Uma Kumaran (Harrow East) – LOST
Amina Lone (Morecambe and Lunesdale) – LOST
Jo McCarron (Kingswood) – LOST
Natasha Millward (Dudley South) – LOST
Lara Norris (Great Yarmouth) – LOST
Sarah Owen (Hastings & Rye) – LOST
Nancy Platts (Brighton Kemptown) – LOST
Lucy Rigby (Lincoln) – LOST
Will Scobie (Thanet South) – LOST
Lee Sherriff (Carlisle) – LOST
Joy Squires (Worcester) – LOST
Will Straw (Rossendale and Darwen) – LOST
Sharon Taylor (Stevenage) – LOST
Janos Toth (Cannock Chase) – LOST
Julia Tickridge (Weaver Vale) – LOST
Norman Baker MP (Lewes) – LOST
Lorley Burt (Solihull) – LOST
Helen Flynn (Harrogate & Knaresborough) – LOST
Martin Horwood MP (Cheltenham) – LOST
Ros Kayes (Dorset West) – LOST
Tessa Munt MP (Wells) – LOST
Julie Porksen (Berwick-upon-Tweed) – LOST
Jackie Porter (Winchester) – LOST
David Rendel (Somerton & Frome) – LOST
Dan Rogerson MP (North Cornwall) – LOST
Adrian Sanders MP (Torbay) – LOST
Vikki Slade (Mid Dorset & North Poole) – LOST
Dorothy Thornhill (Watford) – LOST
Jenny Willott MP (Cardiff Central) – LOST

Smirk.

Another Broken LibDem Promise

During the election campaign Danny Alexander claimed that he would be leaving a reply to Liam Byrne in the drawer of the desk of the Chief Secretary to the Treasury. It wasn’t very witty:

Well sadly it seems he’s broken that promise. Incoming Chief Secretary Greg Hands has found the drawer empty:

Is nothing sacred?

Labour Shuts Up Shop

labour vacancies

The leaderless Labour Party’s website’s jobs page is not quite telling the truth. No word yet on how long they will take to fill the two vacant roles at the top of the party…

Witness: Milibands Going to Ibiza

Apparently Miliband is on his way to Ibiza:

Heading out for the opening parties?

The big question being: is he staying at Chuka’s place

Stewart ‘Truth Bullets’ Jackson’s Acceptance Speech

You probably missed this at the time, but Tory MP Stewart Jackson’s acceptance speech in Peterborough is well worth a watch. Even after they lost a very dirty campaign, the Labour activists at the count were booing:

‘It’s hard to […]

+ READ MORE +

Young, Bald Leadership Contender Unveils New Blonde Girlfriend

Where have we seen this before?

hague-fion

But is Chuka ready? Like Hague, is he going for […]

+ READ MORE +

How to Vote, Urdu Style

labour leaflet

Surely this patronising Labour leaflet, telling non-English speaking voters how to vote can’t be real? Is there any part of biraderi politics that Labour doesn’t want to emulate[…]

+ READ MORE +

Liam Byrne in Office, Out of Power

Liam Byrne’s letter has been an ever present prop in this election, wheeled out by David Cameron at every opportunity. But what of the man himself? Byrne used to be a Labour broadcast regular, sent out to mop up, but […]

+ READ MORE +



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