LISTEN: What Did Balls Say to Brown?

Just like old times…

Labour are the Response Team

Guido has had some fun with centralised attempts from Labour HQ to win the online battle in the past, so imagine his joy to be invited to join their latest wheeze. This season’s Derek Draper / Damian McBride / Kerry McCarthy is tubby two fingered typer Jon Ashworth, who has emailed supporters in a  bid to set up a rapid online rebuttal unit:

“We can’t outspend the Tories to rebut their smears, and we can’t rely on the media to do it for us (spoiler: they won’t). So we’re taking matters into our own hands — and that’s where you come in. We’re calling it the Labour Response Team — a team of grassroots activists fighting back by exposing the Tories’ dirty tactics and highlighting their real record. I’m looking to recruit a few thousand of Labour’s most committed members and supporters to join this new team — and I want you to be a part of it.”

In other words: we tell you what to Tweet.

Amusingly Ashworth breaks the first rule of firefighting in the first line of his call to arms email. Never, ever, repeat the charge:

“The Tories have a plan to win this election…”

It’s fitting though. Labour’s entire campaign so far – from the ‘a better plan’ slogan down – has been totally reactive.

Labour Park “Working Class Wagon” on Double Yellow

VAN

Labour’s latest van is another roaring success…

Guido has been wondering why exactly this van is even parked on the parliamentary estate, given that is clearly party political. It spent the night in the Norman Shaw car park. MPs are given two passes and one parking space each for vehicles, and thus the Labour Party are saving £50 a day in SW1 parking charges thanks to the taxpayer. Iffy…

Respect: Labour Launch “White Van” Campaign

Look away now if your name is Emily Thornberry, but Labour are to launch a special “White Van” election campaign bus. Guido had never seen anything like it, until he got this exclusive picture:

After the disaster of the pink van, it’s time for the “respect-mobile”.

Though hardly very patriotic: it’s a Merc!

Labour MP: Miliband is a ‘F**king Knob’

Labour MP Simon Danczuk is full of his usual glowing praise for his leader in a Staggers interview:

“I ask Danczuk what he thought of Miliband apologising in June 2014 for agreeing to be pictured holding a World Cup issue of the Sun. It was a picture that infuriated people in Liverpool, where the newspaper has experienced a boycott ever since it’s ill judged and controversial coverage of the Hillsborough disaster in 1989.

“Harriet Harman came out and said he [Miliband] was right to pose with the Sun newspaper and he was right to apologise for posing with the Sun newspaper,” says Danczuk. “And it’s that sort of double speak from politicians: how could he be right on both counts? That turns people off politics. So when somebody hears a politician say that, you know what they think, if you pardon the language: ‘what a f**king knob’. That’s the reality of it.” 

Not only do the public hear Miliband and think ‘what a f**king knob’, they also would rather go for a beer with Dave, apparently:

“You get it on the doorstep. If we’re having a straight conversation about this, he [Miliband] has an image of being more of a toff than David Cameron. That’s how the public see it. And what they mean by that is that he’s seen as more aloof. They’d prefer to go for a pint with David Cameron than they would with Ed Miliband, that’s the reality of it.”

Guido can’t think why…

Of course, we all know who Simon would prefer to have a beer with:

Where’s Ed? Labour Leader Missing

The excellent ElectionLeaflets.Org allows voters to upload and monitor the gazillions of leaflets currently being stuffed through letterboxes up and down the country as polling day approaches. Flicking through the site, Guido was struck by something:

Where’s Ed Miliband on all the Labour leaflets?

Gloria De Piero Shopped For Leaflet Expenses

Labour’s Gloria De Piero is the latest MP to be shopped to the parliamentary authorities for blatant electioneering on the taxpayer. Sending out a survey just days before the Dissolution of Parliament, Gloria invites anyone who completes it to visit her in Westminster – somewhat presumptuous for a member defending a 192 majority in May.

Raging Red Len Attacks Miliband’s Media ‘Minnows’

Red Len is angry, specifically at Miliband’s spinners:

“What is also regrettable about the Sunday Times article is the apparent obsession of the media team around Ed Miliband who are constantly seeking opportunities for Ed to “face down Red Len” and Unite in order to show his macho authority.

They deliberately brief stories (off record of course) in order to create a phoney war between “Miliband v McCluskey”. It’s so transparent and crude, it’s getting tedious. 

These minnows should concentrate on the more important task of attacking this government and trying to improve Milliband’s image so we can achieve a Labour victory.”

Will he put his money where his mouth is?

Red on Red: Shouty Crackers Karl Turner Email Rage

Labour big mouth Karl Turner emails veteran Labour MP Austin Mitchell:

“You’re a joke Austin. It’s very sad to see it but it’s becoming increasingly apparent. You think it clever to attack us. It’s not clever and you’ve had plenty

[…]

+ READ MORE +

Glue Labour, Glue Danger

Jim Murphy has had been forced to deny rumours he sniffed glue as a youth. After the Scottish Labour leader said he ‘couldn’t remember’ if he had tried it, his spokesman claimed he nae honked:

“Just to be clear, Mr

[…]

+ READ MORE +

John Woodcock: Stationery Investigation Moving Fast

The Parliamentary Commissioner for Standards has launched an investigation into Labour MP John Woodcock’s expenses.

As Guido reported last week, Woodcock is under fire for his use of official stationary and flogging access to Parliament as raffle prizes.

IMG_2102

The ever […]

+ READ MORE +

Brilliant Labour Attack Video on Debate Dodging Dave

Nifty…[…]

+ READ MORE +



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Quote of the Day

David Cameron tells MPs after voting:

“Wouldn’t miss this for the world. Secret ballots very important. Remember the Chartists.”

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