Ed Balls Laughs at His Own Track Record

Labour have launched their new slogan today: “A Strong Economic Foundation”. They’re about as structurally sound as a planning application for a city built on rock and roll.

Teeing up his leader’s speech, it was not a great outing for Ed Balls on Sky News:

He laughed his way through a denial that he was late to waking up to the deficit and a total opportunist.

Great to see the scourge of Murdoch on the top table with Sun editors and senior News UK staff last night. You show ’em, Ed.

Poll: Labour Won’t Deliver “Programme British People Want”

How many relaunches is that now? Ed Miliband’s big speech on the economy today is being tipped by sympathetic quarters of the press as showing Labour are serious about reducing the deficit, so at least there’s no chance he will forget to mention it this time. Yet Ed is also going to attack the Tories for planning to cut spending to “1930s levels”, insisting “That is not our programme, that will never be our programme, and I do not believe it is the programme the British people want”. Just one problem: a ComRes poll for ITV out last night shows that this is the “programme the British people want”. 33% support cutting spending to 1930s levels, 26% oppose. Another great relaunch success…

Baldwin Spins Cancer Story Despite Sick Bone Marrow Outrage

baldwin-cancer

“Labour will tackle scandal of cancer patients denied life-saving treatment” screams the press machine this morning. “Labour will create a new annual Cancer Treatments Fund to improve access not just to the latest drugs but also to the latest forms of radiotherapy and surgery that are too often not available for thousands of people with cancer.” Worthy stuff.

Guido thought today would be a good time check up on how the internal Labour party investigation is going into out-of-control psycho-spinner Tom Baldwin. As Guido revealed a few weeks ago, Baldwin told a journalist that even if “he was dying he wouldn’t want his bone marrow.”

After near universal condemnation for the sick outburst, something was promised to be done.

Guido wonders what that well known leukaemia campaigner and Baldwin’s mentor Alastair Campbell has to say about it all?

Ed Insists on Privacy for Pre-Xmas Turkey Eating Rehearsal

It’s the talk of Hognaston, Derbyshire. You’ll never guess who was in the Red Lion on Friday… Only that Ed Miliband!

Most of the regulars would have missed the Labour leader rehearsing how to eat a turkey lunch in the run up to Christmas, due to the fact that his party insisted on privacy. “It was only a couple of waitresses who knew he was here, which is what they wanted,” says Tony Waterall, the owner of the pub. “He didn’t want people looking at him or for there to be any confrontation.”

Given Ed’s previous well publicised masticatory gaffes, you can understand why he now insists on dining closed doors. But panic not, as ever, Guido provides an artistic recreation of the moment the turkey tucked into the turkey.

Another London-Born Labour Adviser Parachuted Up North?

John McTernan is being tipped to ditch his self-appointed role as a panglossian Labour media cheerleader and make it official by running for parliament. The Edinburgh News says he is set to join the race to inherit Alistair Darling’s 8,000 majority in Edinburgh South West, with the deadline for applications in ten days’ time. Despite the accent McPangloss was actually born in London. Another metropolitan careerist political adviser parachuted up to a safe seat…

UPDATE: McTernan denies the story to Guido.

Greens Target York as Labour MP Quits

The Greens are to redirect resources up to York Central after the long-serving Labour MP Hugh Bayley announced he is standing down at the election. Though Labour have a safe-ish majority of 6,451, Guido understands the seat was already on the Green’s top 12 target list and is now being considered a key target. The Greens polled four times their national share in York Central in 2010, and secured 15% of the vote there in the Euros. Their candidate for 2015 is railwayman Jonathan Tyler, who tells Guido:

“Labour have blown it. They have behaved arrogantly here. They’ve now had a number of defections and lost control of the council. We’ve done well here in past elections and did extremely well in the European elections. It’s certainly promising ground.”

Tyler has lived in the seat for 27 years, just in case Labour were thinking about parachuting a London candidate up to York. Now the Greens are parking their solar-powered tanks on Labour’s lawn…

Tony Blair: Be Nice to Politicians and Pay Them More Please

Blair has some extraordinary demands in the New York Times today – pay politicians more and stop being mean to me, or them even:

“…politicians are not really well paid by the standards of those who are successful in the private sector. This restricts the attractions of a political career, at exactly the time when we most need the gene pool of our politicians to be varied, vibrant and vigorous.”

“People have to accept that governing involves difficult choices, and politicians ought to be respected for making them, not abused.”

Nope.

Balls Has a New Excuse

Welcoming Stamp Duty reform, the Shadow Chancellor dodged the obvious question. Why didn’t Labour do it when they were in power?

“We could have done it but we didn’t because we had other things to do, like not join the euro…”

And the bloody rest…[…]

+ READ MORE +

Labour Bury Crap Mini-Reshuffle on Big News Day

It’s taken almost two weeks for Labour to manage to appoint a new Attorney General:

[…]

+ READ MORE +

Tories Planning Super Secret Surprise Attack

Pssst… Don’t tell anyone but here’s the plan. Tory MPs are very grumpy at the fact they are being kept in Westminster on a three-line whip until close of play tomorrow as there is “important government business to secure”. A Whip’s claim that is for the “Coastal Defences (Clacton & Frinton-0n-Sea) Abolition Order” is believed to be disinformation.[…]

+ READ MORE +

Multi-millionaire Labour MP: Don’t Punish Criminals For Theft


“What really matters about members of the government is not their silly misbehaviour, it’s the way they’re crucifying millions of people”
writes multi-millionaire Labour loon Michael Meacher. That alone from his rant in the Morning Star would be worthy of the Order of the OTT, but what followed

“A million people have been sanctioned by government ministers over this last year, which means that they are deprived of all their benefit for often petty infringements – such as being five minutes late for a job interview – and hence have no money for at least four weeks and sometimes three months, forcing them to steal to survive.

[…]

+ READ MORE +

Ben Bradshaw’s Suit Gone to Pot

Troubled times for the children of Blair. Ben Bradshaw is wandering around in a hole-ridden suit. Admittedly Guido doesn’t like it when he has to dispose of a Savile Row number either, but it’s hardly a good look. Bradshaw is blaming Parliament’s infestation of moths – and the authorities have confirmed there is a problem.[…]

+ READ MORE +

Now Even the Nerds Turn On Ed Top Prof Warns Miliband Has “Failed to Perform”

If there was one voting block Ed Miliband thought he could rely on, it would be his fellow nerds, yet a four-year academic study granted access to Ed Miliband’s inner circle today concludes he has “failed to perform as a leader”.[…]

+ READ MORE +

Kinnock Snipes at Miliband

Red Prince Stephen Kinnock has used a 4,300 word interview with Mehdi Hasan to launch a number of wide-ranging criticisms of Ed Miliband. Labour’s candidate in Aberavon, who amusingly dodges a question on whether he wants to be PM, condemns the current Labour leadership’s relationship with business:

“I’m not sure the Labour Party sees that the tectonic plates are shifting… there is a potential new alliance with business that can be forged but it doesn’t start with going in and hectoring business about all the things they’re doing wrong.

[…]

+ READ MORE +

Thornberry U-Turns on Apology

Emily Thornberry a week ago:

“I got it wrong, I made a mistake, I’ve resigned and I apologise.”

Emily Thornberry today:

Guido has never seen an apology like it…[…]

+ READ MORE +

Seen Elsewhere

Juncker’s Response Makes me Happy for Brexit | Benedict Spence
What Part of “Leave” Don’t They Understand? | Richard Littlejohn
Shameful Hatred of Older Voters | Ross Clark
Brexit Britain No Place For Racism | Harry Phibbs
Brexit Not Simply Rich v Poor | John Redwood
Hitchens: Socially Conservative Party Needed | Laura Perrins
Brexit is an Opportunity | George Trefgarne
Labour Must Split | Tom Harris
Another Big Choice on Europe | James Kirkup
Heated PLP Spills Into Commons Corridors | Conor Pope
Brexit Tough on Metropolitan Snowflakes | Lara Prendergast


Tip offs: 0709 284 0531
team@Order-order.com

Quote of the Day

Sky’s Faisal Islam on the mood in Parliament at the moment:

“It’s a totally febrile atmosphere here. It’s kind of like Game of Thrones meets House of Cards – and if you chuck in the Labour Party – Laurel and Hardy too.”

Guidogram: Sign up

Subscribe to the most succinct 7 days a week daily email read by thousands of Westminster insiders.

Facebook

LABOUR COUP DAY 3 LABOUR COUP DAY 3
INSIDE THE PLP: “THE WORST SPEECH I HAVE EVER HEARD IN MY LIFE” INSIDE THE PLP: “THE WORST SPEECH I HAVE EVER HEARD IN MY LIFE”
“SAVE JEZ” SUPPORTERS DEMAND “100 NEW MPS” “SAVE JEZ” SUPPORTERS DEMAND “100 NEW MPS”
CAMERON ON LABOUR: “AND I THOUGHT I WAS HAVING A BAD DAY” CAMERON ON LABOUR: “AND I THOUGHT I WAS HAVING A BAD DAY”
JUNXIT! JUNCKER FACING CALLS TO RESIGN JUNXIT! JUNCKER FACING CALLS TO RESIGN
Runners & Riders Runners & Riders
Social Media’s Filter Bubble Driving Political Anger Social Media’s Filter Bubble Driving Political Anger
4 a.m. Tom Watson 4 a.m. Tom Watson
Britain Votes For Brexit Britain Votes For Brexit
BBC Declares Brexit Winner BBC Declares Brexit Winner
Guido’s Referendum Best Bits Guido’s Referendum Best Bits
Bob Geldof Boat Passenger Votes Leave Bob Geldof Boat Passenger Votes Leave
Which Brexiteer Are You? Which Brexiteer Are You?
Referendum Day CCHQ Leak Referendum Day CCHQ Leak
Liz Hurley Backs Brexit Liz Hurley Backs Brexit
WHICH REMAINER ARE YOU? WHICH REMAINER ARE YOU?
EU TO OPEN NEW TURKEY MEMBERSHIP TALKS ON JUNE 30 EU TO OPEN NEW TURKEY MEMBERSHIP TALKS ON JUNE 30
GERMAN BUSINESS CHIEF CALLS POSSIBILITY OF POST-BREXIT BARRIERS “VERY, VERY FOOLISH” GERMAN BUSINESS CHIEF CALLS POSSIBILITY OF POST-BREXIT BARRIERS “VERY, VERY FOOLISH”
PROJECT SNEER: LUVVIES SAY LEAVERS ARE ‘THICK IDIOTS’ PROJECT SNEER: LUVVIES SAY LEAVERS ARE ‘THICK IDIOTS’