Monday, January 16, 2012

Labour MP Sacked in Nazi Themed Weekend Fun

The Telegraph is reporting that the popular reality-based Labour MP Tom Harris has been “forced to resign” after posting a Downfall spoof video that mocked Joan McAlpine MSP, the First Minster’s close friend and adviser. Harris was Labour’s latest Twitter Tsar, though he’s hardly the  most loyal supporter of the leadership, so Guido doesn’t imagine there are many tears being shed on the inside. The video wasn’t even very funny…

Friday, January 6, 2012

Where’s Mili?™ – Calamity Kenny Gets the Blame for Twitter Fail

Labour are having a spectacularly bad week. Ed finally surfaced today to commiserate the death of TV’s Bob Holness, star of Blockbusters:

A is at the other end of the keyboard from O. A source in Ed’s office was quick to spin that given Kenny Young, the Press Officer Manager with emphasis on the manager, is in charge of the twitter feed, “and not much else”, this is most certainly his handy-work.

We are told that a “relaunch speech” is currently being “desperately cobbled together” for Monday or Tuesday. What could possibly go wrong?

Wednesday, January 4, 2012

DUEMA and Friends

Despite a much touted blitz of speeches and promised new year activity, it’s all quiet on the Miliband front today. This has given the Don’t Unseat Ed Miliband Association plenty of time to get used to their rebranding and reorganisation. However it seems that a rival operation has come out of right-field all of a sudden:

Rentoul, and the other wicked traitors like Dan Hodges, will be defeated…

Wednesday, December 14, 2011

Steve Hilton Abandons Official No.10 Email Account

The Information Commissioner is set to pave the way to make the private email accounts of those in government FoI-able. Given that most SpAds and Ministers are sick of civil servants snooping around and leaking things before decisions have even been made, government by GMail is widespread in Whitehall. Someone told the Guardian: “Everyone is shitting bricks at the implications. It looks as if they are going to say Post-it notes are disclosable. There is going to be material on the budget, Libyan strategy, everything.” One senior Downing Street staffer, quick to eschew convention, has given up on official emails completely:

From: Steve Hilton shilton@no10.x.gsi.gov.uk
Date: Wed, Dec 14, 2011 at 10:41 AM
Subject: Out of Office AutoReply:

Thank you for your email – Please note, Steve does not access his No.10 emails.

If you require a response please contact ███████ █████ █████@no10.x.gsi.gov.uk or via the No.10 Switchboard on 020 █████ █████.

Many thanks

Annette Craze
Assistant Private Secretary to Steve Hilton

For latest news and information from Downing Street visit: http://www.number10.gov.uk

Help save paper – do you need to print this email?

“Steve does not access his No.10 emails.” Guido refuses to believe that the Downing Street Director of Strategy never sends emails related to his work. It’s right that we are able to see the decision making that is currently off the books. 

Thursday, November 17, 2011

Ken Continues Gaffing But Boris Needs to Pull His Socks Up

Forget the roguish charm, forget the hair, forget the bikes and forget those Evening Standard placards; the biggest asset to the Mayor’s re-election campaign is, and will remain, his omni-shambolic opponent. Another day and another gaffe…

Over to Chief Former Mayor Monitor Andrew Gilligan:

“On Monday this week, at a public meeting in the borough of Lewisham, the chair, Val Shawcross, asked the audience for their views about housing policy. Ken came in: “Ask how many people think we should hang George Osborne.” Shawcross: “Well, I’m deliberately not asking questions like that because you never know when there is going to be a journalist in the room.” I enjoyed the implication that it would be all right to demand the killing of the Chancellor if no journalist were present.”

That being said, Team Boris cannot afford to simply sit on their laurels. Ken is going to come at him like a cornered bear. This is the end, the last hurrah, and the former Mayor knows it. The latest campaign ad put out by Boris is horrific. It’s too long, too text heavy, slow, clunky and the music sounds like a low budget airline in-flight safety video:

3 out of 10. See Guido.

Friday, November 11, 2011

Is Being a Dickhead No Longer Cool?

The East London Tech City is the pet project of some of the trendier inhabitants of No 10. Yesterday Dave announced 600 new businesses have started up in the area Old Street.

He also appointed a “Tech City Ambassador” – Ben Hammersley of Wired. A King of the Dickheads, if you will…

Tuesday, November 8, 2011

Damian’s New “Absolutely Totally Brilliant” Blogging Tips

With Draper back in the fold, the old faces are coming out of the woodwork. Obviously spinning for Catholic aid charity Cafod and running the Saturday football match for his old school boys club isn’t enough for our old mucker Damian McBride. Like a bad smell, he’s back and lingering on Twitter and already discussing an issue dear to his heart – engagement with bloggers:

Why not just send them an email of concocted smears and lies instead?

Wednesday, November 2, 2011

Tarquin Fights the System

MacBook Pro –  £1,260

Grubby hoody from gap year – £25

Free WiFi from Starbucks so you can fight the system online – Priceless, yah!

Image via Digital Politico

Tuesday, November 1, 2011

Fuel Fight Finally Pencilled In

After some confusion and delay, the much hyped fuel prices e-petition that was set up by Robert Halfon will be debated in the House on Thursday 15, November.

Guido would hope a little more successfully than in America

Two Snapshots of St. Paul’s

Guido took a stroll round the distinctly underwhelming camp at St Paul’s last night. One or two things did make him giggle though:

His face lit up by a thousand corporations…

It all go a little too tiring and emotional for one merry camper…

UPDATE: Behind the paywall The Times have some disgruntled voices:

“Zakandrew Roberts, 18, joined Occupy London on its first day, but left on Saturday after a series of incidents, including someone urinating in his tent and a friend being threatened with a penknife. He claimed that the camp had deteriorated from a group of serious campaigners intent on highlighting issues about economic equality, to “drunks and drug-takers . . . here for a laugh”. Mr Roberts, an unemployed charity worker, said: “Half the people there don’t know why they are there or what they are protesting about. I want political change, not to get high and drunk all the time.”

Watch out for that progressive punch, it’s lethal…


Seen Elsewhere

Reeves Red-Faced After Pension Gaffe | Sun
Band’s Fury at Song Being Used at Labour Conference | Buzzfeed
Rachel Reeves’ Pension Howler | Mail
UKIP Propose 90% Cut in Overseas Aid | Breitbart
Ed Milibaaaand | Sun
Ed Miliband Phrase Generator | Guardian
Blair Right About ISIS | Jago Pearson
Miliband Will Be Prime Minister By Default | Alex Wickham
Labout Have Learned Nothing | Jeremy Warner
How Cameron Can Return to No. 10 | Telegraph
Balls Speech Was Mush | FT


VOTER-RECALL
Find out more about PLMR


Before Miliband spoke, a school choir sang ‘Fix You’ by Coldplay. The first verse of which goes like this:

“When you try your best, but you don’t succeed
When you get what you want, but not what you need
When you feel so tired, but you can’t sleep
Stuck in reverse”



cynic says:

Can anyone help me? I went on holiday a week ago and returned to find someone has pulled out the stake and Gordon Brown is back and acting as Prime Minister. What did I miss? Has there been a snap election?


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