It was a Labour Party conference in Brighton a few years ago. It was pouring with rain. I was leaving a restaurant and asked for my coat and umbrella.

The latter was a shockingly expensive, black wooden-handled model, bought deliberately so I would remember not to lose it. Instead, I was given the sort of floral collapsible one sold by Italian street vendors for a quid. I then saw a woman leaving the same restaurant with my umbrella. She protested it was hers. I protested it wasn’t.

I pointed out that a brass collar on the shaft bore my initials. At that moment, a waiter said, “Madam, here is your umbrella”, and handed her the Italian floral job. Flustered, Harriet Harman (for it was she) said that she thought she had borrowed the gamp from her sister who, being called Sarah Jane Harman, had the same initials as me.

Looking at the two brollies, I said I could see how easily she might have confused the two. She failed to appreciate the joke. Am I surprised that she is up to her neck in effluent about dodgy donations? Am I hell.

This is the reality of Harriet Harman. Too stupid to successfully steal an umbrella.

Word is that the Harriet Harman party on Wednesday has been cancelled.

No word on ticket refunds…

Hat-tip : First Post

The London Evening Standard is reporting rumours that are flying around that the Benn deputy leadership campaign was offered and turned down illegal funding organised by Jon Mendelsohn. Which would explain why Baroness Jay is being so tight-lipped.

Looks like the Labour knives are out. If Harman is forced out of course one of the other rivals could take her place – perhaps Hilary Benn…

Hilary Benn turned down £5000 for his deputy leadership campaign after Margaret Jay told him the cash from Janet Kidd was on behalf of David Abrahams. He insisted the cash should come from Mr Abrahams himself.

• Gordon Brown also turned down £5000 for his campaign, so presumably his campaign team knew it was dodgy.
• Peter Watt admits he knew about the money laundering scheme on behalf of Abrahams.

Despite her husband being the Labour party’s treasurer everyone seems to have known except for Harriet, she says she took the cash in good faith, that she thought it was a bona fide donation, that she did not know. In which case she will now of course repay the £5,000…

When the disgraced Blunkett was caught fiddling his expenses for his mistress he paid back the money – as if that made it alright. Whenever politicians are caught breaking the law they seem to think they can buy their way out of trouble with the same money they have cheated. That is not enough.

Harman is now chairman of the Labour party, her deputy leadership election was governed by electoral law. She received illegal funding for her campaign. It is that simple. If she had any honour she would resign this afternoon.

Quentin Letts, who is evidently a Guido fan, has a characteristically fair minded and gentle piece about Harriet Harman today. Well worth reading.

Guido has only just found out that Harman was advised by Deborah Mattinson, the high-priestess of the Sith, Gordon’s personal pollster, Smith Institute board member and recipient of many juicy government contracts though her firm OLR.

It was her, Guido believes, that commissioned the YouGov poll showing that Harman had much needed appeal in the South East. That poll result featured heavily in Harman’s propaganda…

No doubt Harriet Harman will be savouring the moment the announcement was made by watching the video of it over and over again.

Watch the reaction of the girl immediately behind her – you can clearly make out the verbal exclamation as she buries her head in her hands.

It doesn’t take the skills of a lip-reader. Watch the clip on GuyNews.