Rubber Banned: Avid Javid’s Condom Comedy Turn

Sajid Javid is not famed for his easy manner in front of a crowd, though he had the right-wingers at the Conservative Way Forward summer party in stitches with the latest EU diktat to cross his desk:

“Talking about rubbish from the EU, I’m gonna give you an example. As Business Secretary, I take overall responsibility for negotiations involving the single market. Do you know, across my desk the other day, I got a brief saying the EU now wants to regulate the number of condoms you have in a packet. 

The Swedes are saying there must be five. They want one for Monday, one for Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday and Friday.

The French are saying ‘non’, we want seven. One for Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday and Friday, and one for Saturday and Sunday.

The Italians, they want nine! One for each weekday, and two for Saturday and two for Sunday. 

But you will be pleased to know that Britain has put its foot down. We want twelve.

January, February, March, April…”

Don’t be a fool, wrap your negotiating tool…

Labour MP: English Votes For English Laws is “Racist”

A bit of an Emily Thornberry moment for Gerald Kaufman responding to EVEL:

“Even the title of this motion sounds racist.”

Labour’s contempt for England slips out again.

Selfie Time: FLOTUS Rips Up Camera Rules

Obama-Selfie-Stick

First Lady Michelle Obama has flexed her FLOTUS muscle by ripping up the a 40 year old rule banning cameras on White House tours:

Olympus camera has risen…

Catch-Up Service: PMQs in Full

Did you miss PMQs? Watch the whole thing in full below:

Via UK Parliament

New UKIP Attack Ad Skewers Two-Faced Dave on Treaty Change

They might not have an HQ, but somewhere a ‘kipper is working hard at his laptop…

“Dodgy” Dave v “Jurassic Park” Skinner

Labour are boarding the outrage bus after Flashman Cam snapped back at Dennis Skinner’s “Dodgy Dave” jibe by calling him “Jurassic Park” at PMQs:

The PM had to apologise when he called Skinner a “dinosaur” back in 2012…

Confirmed: BBC3 Goes Online Only

Some of the Beeb’s finest public service broadcasting is taken off air:

Enjoy their greatest hits one last time.

Supercar Socialist: Polly Toynbee’s £135,000 Ferrari

polly totnebee ferrari supercar

Watch Polly Toynbee call a Ferrari a “misogynist motif of the patriarchal social order” and George Monbiot rev up a Land Rover as they ‘audition’ to be the new presenter on Top Gear:

Well at least Guido has a new stock image for Polly stories…

Sky News’ Highly Disconcerting Budget Promo

George Osborne as you’ve never seen him before…[…]

+ READ MORE +

Cameron Screws Up Another Three Letter Acronym

“The truth is this, Full Fiscal Autonomy has now become FFS: Full Fiscal Shambles.”

You would have thought he’d have learned his lesson after LOL…[…]

+ READ MORE +

New UKIP EU Attack Ad

Refreshingly, UKIP are going after people who aren’t members of their own party this morning.

This new EU campaign video stars Jose Manuel Barroso, Viviane Reding and Martin Schulz:

A Farage-led ‘out’ campaign would at least be punchy…[…]

+ READ MORE +

Anti-Austerity Protesters Turn on Russell Brand

Not quite the reception Russell Brand was hoping for in the VIP area at yesterday’s anti-austerity protest:

“F**k Russell Brand… He should not be on the stage here… You have no f**king place here, you’re disgusting…”

“You’re a turncoat, Brand…

[…]

+ READ MORE +



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Quote of the Day

William Hague on Tony Blair…

“To the political law that you can’t fool all of the people all of the time he added Blair’s law – that you can make a very serious attempt at it.”

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