Wednesday, October 8, 2014

WATCH: Tim Farron Jokes About LibDem Sex Scandals

One line jarred in particular in LibDem President Tim Farron’s speech today:

“Of course there are some parts of the job I am happy to pass on. The next time any of you get caught with your pants around your ankles, the media can call someone else to make a comment.”

The victims of Mike Hancock, Chris Rennard and Cyril Smith won’t be laughing…

Tuesday, October 7, 2014

WATCH: Have I Got News For You on ‘Sophie’

Monday, October 6, 2014

WATCH: Bercow Insists He’s Not Shortest Speaker Ever

Bercow has been to Australia to speak to a half-empty room about democracy in the digital age. As Guido revealed in yesterday’s Sun column, he began his speech with a reference to “one quite sensitive matter which even as straight-talking Australians I hazard a guess your natural courtesy will disincline you to raise with me directly… that is the sensitive matter of… height.”

“It has been bruted in some of the more down-market parts of the British press that I am the shortest man ever to be Speaker… In the fairly confident expectation that there are some people who like me are vertically challenged in this audience, I say very, very explicitly, there’s nothing wrong with being short. We short people should stick together. We may be short but we may also be judged to be perfectly formed. In any case, facts are facts. I am short. I am 51 years old and remain short, and given the known impact of the ageing process upon physiognomy, the overwhelming likelihood is that I will become inexorably and irrevocably shorter still.”

Bercow went on to tell his antipodean audience that he is not the shortest Speaker ever, that particular achievement went to Sir John Bussy – Commons Speaker in 1399 – though only because he was beheaded by Henry IV. He concluded “whatever else happens to me, I am not likely to lose my head”. Watch til the end for the Speaker’s friendly acknowledgement of one audience member, a certain Carol Mills…

Friday, October 3, 2014

WATCH: Telly Focus Group Slam Ed’s Conference

The stars of Gogglebox, Channel 4’s televised focus group, have had their say on Ed Miliband’s performance at Labour conference. Dom and Steph in Kent were unimpressed with his position on English votes for English laws, Brighton hairdressers Chris and Stephen physically recoiled at his “together” soundbite, while mum and dad Andrew and Carolyn blamed Gordon Brown for “costing the Labour Party dearly”.

A resounding success across all sections of society, then…

Thursday, October 2, 2014

Shapps Confirms PM Will Campaign in Clacton

Many thought the PM would want to avoid the UKIP landslide. Apparently not…

In case you missed the Guy News special report during conference, it’s not looking good for the Tories on the Essex coast:

Guido is not sure a visit from Dave will do much to turn that around…

Sunday, September 28, 2014

LISTEN: Mark Reckless’ Voicemail to Grant Shapps

When he went on the Sunday Politics this morning, Mark Reckless probably didn’t expect he would be played a voicemail he left for Grant Shapps on Friday promising to campaign for the Tories in Birmingham. The following day he defected to UKIP.

“You can’t discuss these things in advance,” says Reckless…

Thursday, September 25, 2014

Miliband ‘Forgets’ to Mention the Deficit Two More Times

Jon Snow’s bruising interview with Ed Miliband last night is well worth a watch. The Labour leader resembled a human punchbag as Snow forensically tore his speech apart bit by bit. When asked “What do you think is the greatest issue facing the next government?” Miliband once again ‘forgot’ to mention the deficit:

EM: “What I laid out yesterday is a plan to say we’re gonna make this country work once again for working people. Whether on the minimum wage, or the health service, or apprenticeships, or housing.”

JS: “What about the deficit?”

EM: [pause] “The deficit’s an important issue.”

JS: “Well you forgot to mention it. That’s the second time, two days running.”

There is also no mention of the deficit in Labour’s new Party Political Broadcast, released last night. It’s a good thing this interview was carried out in a hospital, Miliband needed to be patched up afterwards…

Wednesday, September 24, 2014

Guy News Labour Conference Special: Money, Money, Money

Confused about how Labour are going to fund their latest spending plans? You’re not the only one. In this afternoon’s Guy News Labour conference special, the Shadow Cabinet try to explain where the money will come from. They don’t know either.

“In my dreams, I have a plan… If I had a little money…”

Tuesday, September 23, 2014

WATCH: Ed Miliband Pet Shop Boys Remix

Cameron Caught on Camera
Queen “Purred” at No Vote, “I Want to Sue” Polling Companies

The PM’s unguarded comments to Michael Bloomberg about the Scottish referendum have been caught on tape by Sky News:

“The definition of relief is being Prime Minister of the United Kingdom and calling the Queen and saying ‘It’s alright, it’s okay’. That was something. She purred down the line… But it should never have been that close, it wasn’t in the end. There was a time in the middle of the campaign when it felt… I’ve said I want to find these polling companies and I want to sue them for my stomach ulcers because of what they put me through. It was very nervous moments.”

Yikes!


Seen Elsewhere

Does Europe Really Want Britain to Quit? | Nick Wood
Immigration Nation | Hopi Sen
Tories Choose Anti-Israel Candidate in Rochester | JC
Osborne’s Daycare Obsession is a Time Bomb | Kathy Gyngell
BBC Marr Pinko Trying to Ban the Queen | Speccie
Eric Hobsbawm: Companion of Dishonour | Standpoint
Guido Party Gossip | Iain Dale
Russell Brand Comes Out as 9/11 Truther | Guardian
Health Revolution is Underway | Fraser Nelson
UKIP Gets Professional | Red Box
Kelly Tolhurst Wins Rochester Open Primary | BBC


VOTER-RECALL
Find out more about PLMR


Austrian Chancellor Werner Faymann on Cameron’s refusal to pay the £1.7 billion EU bill by December 1st:

“Well, then he’s gonna pay on December 2nd”



Mycroft says:

Have you read the last bit of Animal Farm?

You know where the animals are looking through the Farmhouse window?

My TV screen was that window at lunch-time today.

Be careful, the sudden self-congratulatory tone, the slightly pudgy outline of indulgence and you become exactly what you should despise.

The jolly face of the Quisling Cameron poses for your camera has mesmerised and deceived you, you who were once not so deceived.

You were no firebrand, you were a damp squib in my opinion, sorry.

You need a damned good kick up the ahse!


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