Well worth a watch if you have a few minutes spare, Penny Mordaunt had the House in stitches this afternoon:

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Just in time for the reshuffle…

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“Coalition’s last stand.”

The government’s run out of laws, Skinner’s run out of jokes…

The Speccie have been up to Newark to interview the Tory and UKIP candidates ahead of next week’s by-election. Roger Helmer has admitted that even he doesn’t think he’s the best man for the job:

“Nigel has that enormous box office presence, and I’m sure he would do a better job than I would do. Obviously Nigel is the biggest face and the biggest asset for the party.”

Read all about it here. While dull Tory Robert Jenrick, touted as the “entrepreneur” candidate, confesses to never having run a business, and denies being a carpetbagger. Despite having stood in Newcastle-Under-Lyme in 2010 and attempting to get selected in Croydon before landing Newark…

The fearless truth seekers at InfoWars have captured the moment Ed Balls turned up at the Bilderberg conference in Copenhagen, only to be turned away by police at the gates who didn’t recognise who he was. The Shadow Chancellor apparently couldn’t find his invite. Despite his protestations that “that’s my name, I’m on the list to attend,” the guards wouldn’t let him in.

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Your name’s not down, you’re not coming in.

In case you missed it on Question Time last night, here is the moment footballer Joey Barton gave us his somewhat colourful metaphor to describe UKIP:

“If I’m somewhere and there was four really ugly girls I’m thinking, well, she’s not the worst. That’s all you are.”

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Not sure the outraged reaction from UKIP’s Louise Bours was the best response…

Nick Clegg confirmed to LBC this morning that Cable failed to inform him about the secret Oakeshott polls, unconvincingly arguing that “I wouldn’t expect Vince to”.

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Clegg says that as far as he is concerned Cable “was absolutely not aware of polls done elsewhere”. Which is the line that Cable is sticking to in China today. Though Oakeshott insists he told Cable about the four polls “several weeks ago”, around the time the pair met in open sight. The LibDem leader is being very trusting indeed…