Monday, June 9, 2014

PICTURE SPECIAL: Farage’s Top Tory Totty

Gordon Brown declared Nigel Farage to represent the best of British during his Press Gallery lunch this afternoon, telling hacks: “Britain wouldn’t be Britain without Farage with a pint in one hand and a mystery lady in the other”. Well now Guido can solve the mystery…

The blonde with her arm draped around the fun-loving UKIP leader in the (above right) photo is Tess Weeks, privately educated (Haberdashers’ Monmouth) the UCL graduate speaks Russian and Italian, she works as a recruitment consultant with Palm Mason in Canary Wharf. She attended the boozy conference in Malta last week in the course of her work. Guido cannot think why a well-lubricated Nige decided to make friends:

No need for Kirsten, the missus, to worry, there was no 3 a.m. walk back to a hotel room this time however. Tess has a boyfriend and says she is a proud supporter of the Conservative Party…

Friday, June 6, 2014

WATCH: Patrick Mercer Crashes Into Parked Car

Facing questioning through his car window from Michael Crick this afternoon, former Newark MP Patrick Mercer sped off and bumped into a parked car:

Who does he think he is, Ed Balls?

At least he came back and left a note…

WATCH:  Farage Concedes – ‘Tories Will Win by 3,000 Votes’

“The Conservatives will hold this seat but what UKIP will do is score their best ever percentage score in a by-election. It’s going to be over 30%. [The Tory majority] will be two or three thousand. It will be very difficult to think we could have done much better. It’s been a very short by-election, we couldn’t really mobilise anybody until after the European elections. The Conservatives have probably put more into this than any by-election they’ve ever fought in their history. All round, I can assure you that the People’s Army will be very happy with this result tonight.”

If Farage is right and UKIP polled over 30% that will be very uncomfortable for the Tories…

Wednesday, June 4, 2014

WATCH: Penny Mordaunt’s Loyal Address in Full

Well worth a watch if you have a few minutes spare, Penny Mordaunt had the House in stitches this afternoon:

Just in time for the reshuffle…

WATCH: Dennis Skinner’s Black Rod Gag 2014

“Coalition’s last stand.”

The government’s run out of laws, Skinner’s run out of jokes…

Friday, May 30, 2014

Helmer: Nigel Would Do a Better Job Than Me in Newark

The Speccie have been up to Newark to interview the Tory and UKIP candidates ahead of next week’s by-election. Roger Helmer has admitted that even he doesn’t think he’s the best man for the job:

“Nigel has that enormous box office presence, and I’m sure he would do a better job than I would do. Obviously Nigel is the biggest face and the biggest asset for the party.”

Read all about it here. While dull Tory Robert Jenrick, touted as the “entrepreneur” candidate, confesses to never having run a business, and denies being a carpetbagger. Despite having stood in Newcastle-Under-Lyme in 2010 and attempting to get selected in Croydon before landing Newark…

WATCH: Balls Blocked From Bilderberg

The fearless truth seekers at InfoWars have captured the moment Ed Balls turned up at the Bilderberg conference in Copenhagen, only to be turned away by police at the gates who didn’t recognise who he was. The Shadow Chancellor apparently couldn’t find his invite. Despite his protestations that “that’s my name, I’m on the list to attend,” the guards wouldn’t let him in.

Your name’s not down, you’re not coming in.

WATCH: Joey Barton Compares UKIP to An Ugly Girl

In case you missed it on Question Time last night, here is the moment footballer Joey Barton gave us his somewhat colourful metaphor to describe UKIP:

“If I’m somewhere and there was four really ugly girls I’m thinking, well, she’s not the worst. That’s all you are.”

Not sure the outraged reaction from UKIP’s Louise Bours was the best response…

Thursday, May 29, 2014

Clegg Confirms Cable Didn’t Tell Him About Oakeshott Polls

Nick Clegg confirmed to LBC this morning that Cable failed to inform him about the secret Oakeshott polls, unconvincingly arguing that “I wouldn’t expect Vince to”.

Clegg says that as far as he is concerned Cable “was absolutely not aware of polls done elsewhere”. Which is the line that Cable is sticking to in China today. Though Oakeshott insists he told Cable about the four polls “several weeks ago”, around the time the pair met in open sight. The LibDem leader is being very trusting indeed…

WATCH: Clegg Shows Ed How to Eat a Bacon Sandwich

Nick Ferrari handed Nick Clegg a bacon sarnie on LBC this morning. Here’s how he got on:

Minimal weird facial expressions, no spillages, no aides required to block the camera crew. But don’t talk with your mouth full, Deputy Prime Minister…


Seen Elsewhere

A Bold Plan to Reform Welfare | Ruth Porter
Clinton’s Busty Mistress Nicknamed ‘Energizer’ | Mail
Photo Analysis of Miliband’s Obama Visit | Buzzfeed
Dave Shouldn’t Have Moved Gove | Michael Howard
Bercow’s Nightmare | Alex Wickham
Miliband Abandons Britain to Meet Obama | Sun
Tequila-Quaffing Chat Show Plonker Clegg | Quentin Letts
Pragmatists v Romantics | Rachel Sylvester
I’m Sorry | Colin Brazier
Blair Was a Gradualist Prime Minister | Janan Ganesh
Why Blair Will Worry Ed | Steve Richards


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Owen Paterson lifts the lid on the Green Blob:

“I received more death threats in a few months at Defra than I ever did as secretary of state for Northern Ireland.”



Flight Watch says:

Russia Today is a cauldron of bullsh*t. The only people that take it seriously are deluded conspiracy theorists. Other RT journos have resigned citing the same reasons.

It’s about as believable as Press TV, KCNA of North Korea or the Daily Mirror.


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