Curvy Alan Rusbridger Gets the Full Mail Online Treatment

Camped outside celebrity hangout Chiltern Firehouse,  Dave and SamCam’s fav in Marylebone for date night, the snappers spotted Nigella Lawson with an scruffy looking  lunch partner. But who could this “Harry Potter look-a-like” be?

“Alan, her lunchtime companion, wore a crumpled navy suit and a blue shirt which hung to his curves. His hair looked in need of a good brushing and he wore his recognisable round glasses – making him look like the fictional wizard.”

5 points to Slytherin.

Leaders’ Wives: Polling Day Fashion Edition

All the party leaders have now voted, with Dave and Ed convincing their wives to join them for the usual polling day shot. Nick Clegg appears to have brought a confused looking older friend along with him – believed to be his last remaining local supporter.

On the fashion front Justine played it safe, if a little mumsie, with a simple white tee, a causal navy blazer and some snazzy check print trousers. The epaulettes on the military jacket hardly scream femininity though. Meanwhile, SamCam is bang on trend in cropped navy trousers, complimented with blue court shoes and her favourite metallic dusky-rose silk top. Guessing Mrs Farage has returned to Germany to vote…

Mrs Osborne on George’s Diet

Both Osborne and Balls are on the celebrity 5:2 diet, though Guido hears not everyone was entirely happy with the chunky Chancellor’s austerity effort to cut his waist size. After a female aide changed Osborne’s hair and now his slimming regime, his wife Frances was overheard exclaiming: “If anyone is going to put my husband on a diet, it’s me.”

Cutting Remarks From the Chancellor

Coif connoisseurs rejoice: the Standard has the scoop. Osborne has given them an exclusive interview revealing all about his ‘Footballers that look like lesbians’ haircut:

“The Chancellor comes across as someone who has survived a miserable low (who could forget his dismay at being booed at the 2012 Olympics?) and emerged psychologically stronger or, perhaps, less afraid to fail. Perhaps that explains his Caesar haircut. “There are more important things, dare I say it, for the country to be talking about,” he cried, looking pained.

But whose idea was it and where was it done? Osborne struggles: “It was just a … I means it’s … it’s been made out to be some great big change, a bigger change than it was.” Does his wife Frances like it? “Oh, she likes it,” he said, the shutters slamming down.”

Who doesn’t…

Beard Watch: Jeremy Browne

Who’d have thought Jezza would become a weirdy beardy…

Guido’s Fashion Tips: Alec Shelbrooke’s Tiger Onesie

Guido has returned from lunch to the sight of Tory MP Alec Shelbrooke on the Daily Politics, in a tiger onesie:

He pledges to wear it in the Commons if he can raise £5,000 for a hospice charity. A grrrrrreat cause, donate here

Dave’s Designer Hairdresser Denies Bald Patch

Client confidentiality is assured with Lino Carbosiero MBE, the PM’s designer hairdresser.

Appearing on Sky News to deny his gong was anything to do with the fact he re-branded Dave’s sidey, the smooth talker claimed there was no bald patch.

Which would  the cameras…

And in his never ending quest for impartiality, Guido put it to Labour:

“Ed doesn’t have one person that cuts his hair. He sometimes goes to the local barbers.”

A man of the people. The mystery remains about Osborne’s radical redesign…

Westminster’s Longest Serving Press Officer Departs

He’s had the hardest jobs in politics for a decade but now UKIP head of press Gawain Towler is heading back to Brussels. He will also stand for election in 2014. Putting out fires since most other spinners were still at school, Towler dealt with fruitcakes, loonies and Nigel Farage on a daily basis for years. Westminster will be darker without his signature red trousers, and farewell to the cravat/bowler hat/tweed look. Towler was of course the face of UKIP’s “For Him” clothing range that included the dressing gown above.

Guido hopes internal politics are not at play here.

Farage and co are vulnerable without him.

Great Jumper Wearing Politicians of Our Time

Jumper-gate was the worst knitwear-related blunder since President Carter’s beige address to the nation in 1977. Well we have some renowned jumper wearing politicians of our own. Who can forget Gyles Brandreth and Peter Mandelson camping it up:

Of […]

+ READ MORE +

Wrong Trousers, Gromit!

Ed Miliband was at the Pride of Britain awards last night and confessed to wearing white trousers and a dodgy v-neck in the eighties.

That could have gone a lot worse…

Video via ITV

[…]

+ READ MORE +

Cost of Living Crisis Sam Cam

suit

As ever Guido is first with the most important aspect of the PM’s speech. Sam Cam was wearing a dress from Asos, shoes from Topshop and a belt from Fenwick. Guido would wager the belt probably cost more than the […]

+ READ MORE +

Guido’s Fashion Tips: Tory Conference Special

George Osborne’s “footballers that look like lesbians” haircut has gone mainstream. Dan Hodges couldn’t take his eyes off it during his speech:

“None of it mattered. No one was listening to a single word. Because we were all staring at

[…]

+ READ MORE +



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Quote of the Day

Out of the bubble prole Andy Burnham tells Mumsnet

“I’m afraid I’m going to depress you all by saying that I don’t have a sweet tooth and don’t eat biscuits… Give me a beer and chips and gravy any day.”

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