Ed Miliband was at the Pride of Britain awards last night and confessed to wearing white trousers and a dodgy v-neck in the eighties.
That could have gone a lot worse…
As ever Guido is first with the most important aspect of the PM’s speech. Sam Cam was wearing a dress from Asos, shoes from Topshop and a belt from Fenwick. Guido would wager the belt probably cost more than the rest of it put together. No word on Dave’s suit yet…
“None of it mattered. No one was listening to a single word. Because we were all staring at the top of George Osborne’s head. At least I was. Roughly between the crown of his skull and the top of his eyebrows, something was just lying there. The Chancellor was talking about exports to China and all I could think was: “George, you’ve got something sitting on your head”. I was actually on the verge of jumping up and shouting a warning until I realised. The thing sitting on top of his head was his hair.
Not ordinary hair. Entirely new hair. As if someone had reached down, lifted off his old, bog-standard politico’s cut, thrown it in the bin, and stapled something entirely different in its place. This usurper hair was quite hard to describe. Imagine if you woke up and all your hair had mysteriously fallen forward. Think of those pictures you’ve seen of iron filings being attracted towards a magnet. The Chancellor’s hair appeared to have become magnetised.”
Osborne SpAds point out the similarities between their boss’ new hair and that of their new colleague Neil O’Brien.
In the interests of gender balance following this blog’s fashion reports on Miliband last week, Guido brings you Theresa May’s outstanding tartan suit worn during her speech this afternoon:
As Guido exclusively revealed yesterday, Ed was wearing a suit by Puff Daddy tailor Spencer Hart. The Savile Row man has now broken his silence, telling GQ that he “almost vomited when I heard a politician was wearing a Spencer Hart suit.” The sticher soon slipped into PR mode though, adding: “I have to grudgingly agree that he does look sharper, slicker, crisper, cooler, fitter than his arch rival in No. 10.” Guido is not sure Dave’s tailor Timothy Everest would agree…
As ever Guido likes to bring you the conference fashion news. Justine Miliband was wearing a LK Bennett floral print dress and LK Bennett shoes. Her jewellery was an 18th birthday present.
Ed was in a Spencer Hart suit. The Savile Row tailor cuts suits for Puff Daddy/P Diddy and cost the better part of a grand. With a nod to the cost of living crisis his shirt and tie were from M&S. Up the workers.
Since Guido questioned just what was going on with George Osborne’s ‘footballers that look like lesbians’ hair cut last week, coif connoisseurs have been queueing up to pass judgement. Brent Pankhurst of Pankhurst Barbers delivers his cutting verdict to GQ.
“This looks like its been cut by a ladies’ hairdresser to me. It’s far too round on the sides and with that flick-y bit at the back it’s all a little drag queen-ish. It just looks like Anne Diamond’s hair.”
Catwalk hair stylist Matt Mulhall snipes:
“Wispy feathered sides and back on a man of a certain age is a definite no-no. It’s so bizarre.”
The fashion police have spoken…
Every year Guido likes to bring you the most important news from the leader’s speeches at conference: the fashion. Today he can reveal that Mrs Clegg will be wearing a Zara top with Topshop shoes.
This is to signify the strong links between Spanish design (Zara) and British high street manufacturing. Apparently.
And now you know.
Guido has noticed a distinct change in George Osborne’s hairstyle over the last few days. Gone is his old, fluffy, classic posh look with the hair pushed back revealing the early stages of a recession. In its place is a boyish pudding bowl cut, pushed forwards, taking years off him:
The new coif was displayed in all its glory during the speech on the economy this morning:
Guido is reminded of the infamous Sunday Sport feature “Footballers who look like lesbians“…
Dave has ditched the Alan Partridge footwear for sandals and gone for a nautical navy number as he takes another holiday, this time to a beach cafe in Cornwall. The PM might be recovering from a bad back but it is he who is offering support to his better half in this picture. Blue skies mean a blue top and shorts for SamCam. No dolphins in shot as we look out onto the shore, other than the one on Samantha’s ankle of course…
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Lord Glasman tells it like it is:
“The first thing is to acknowledge that Labour has been captured by a kind of aggressive public sector morality which is concerned with the individual and the collective but doesn’t understand relationships.”
Owen Jones says:
We also need Zil lanes.