Tuesday, October 30, 2012

Unpublished Fred Michel Evidence Implicates Brown

Brown Nosing Murdoch

In spite of his rough ride at Leveson it seems Gordon Brown got off lightly considering the evidence that wasn’t heard by the inquiry. Guido understands that Linklaters, the law firm contracted by News International to conduct interviews with employees over phone-hacking, possesses a wealth of evidence on the Prime Mentalist that Leveson decided was outside his remit.

Sources close to Linklaters whisper to Guido that while Leveson only asked for specific evidence from 2008 onwards, they collected testimony from Fred Michel dating back to the crucial election-that-never-was period in 2007 that was not heard at the inquiry. This includes embarrassing details of failed attempts by Brown’s aides to lobby Murdoch for support and more significantly evidence that sources at the law firm believe show Brown lied under oath when he denied the truth of the infamous ‘declare war’ phone call. If anyone at Linklaters feels like doing the public a service, they know what to do

Friday, October 5, 2012

Cold-Blooded Ed Knifed McBride

Another cracker of a blog from Damian McBride today. We learn of Jonathan Freedland’s (disputed) role in the 2007 snap election decision, Andy Coulson’s dark arts spanners and how Brown’s inner circle thought he was about to have a breakdown – “Think his post-Mrs Duffy interview with Richard Bacon times 1,000″.

One of the most interesting stories recounted by McBride is his conversation with Ed Miliband after he had been accused of briefing against the future Labour leader:

“When he called me that Sunday, I told him what a joke it was that I was being accused of briefing against him and others. “But where’s it all coming from, Damian?” he said. “They’ve got all these details of the meetings we had; that must have come from you.” “Of course that stuff’s from me”, I said, “that’s just the colour – that’s harmless, but they’re accusing me of doing the lines blaming you and Douglas and Spencer for the whole thing.” “Well where’s all that coming from, Damian?”

His voice and tone reminded me eerily of Hal the computer in the film 2001. “I don’t know, but it’s not from me – I’d never brief against you.” “I don’t believe you, Damian” he said, “I think you’re lying.” It felt like an ice cold razor had been dragged down my spine. “Ed, for God’s sake, don’t say that. I’d never brief against you.” “That’s the trouble, Damian, I don’t believe that’s true. I think you’re lying.” “Stop saying that, Ed. You can’t accuse me of lying. I’m not going to have that.” “I can’t help it, Damian, I think you’re a liar.” “If you keep saying that, you know we’re finished, I’m not having that.” “I don’t care, Damian, I think we are finished.””

Watson and Balls should take note.

Friday, September 28, 2012

Gordon’s Reality Check

If the Prime Mentalist didn’t already know just how much everyone misses him, he will now. Gordon was supposed to speak at a press conference at the UN in New York last night but had to cancel after just one journalist turned up. McMental had hoped to enthrall a room of hacks with a speech about his latest schools initiative but was left red-faced when he was confronted with an empty room. It’s almost tragic. Almost…

Tuesday, September 25, 2012

He’s Still Jonah Brown

As we predicted beforehand, the Jonah effect wiped over 100 points off the value of the Dow and saw the NASDAQ experience its worst day since June. If you watch the video closely you’ll see that he even screwed up “ringing the bell” to open Wall Street.

He’s still the accursed one-eyed son of the manse…

Monday, August 20, 2012

Gordon Brown’s Mobile Phone Throwing World Record Broken

Ever since he was revealed to have furiously hurled three Nokias at a Downing Street wall Gordon Brown has been the unofficial mobile phone throwing world champion. Until now…

The Prime Mentalist has cruelly had his top Team GB achievement taken away from him after Finland set a new world record for throwing a mobile. 18-year-old Ere Karjalainen launched his phone an impressive 101.46 metres, smashing Gordon’s previous personal best of the width of a room in Number 10. Guido is sure Brown would never let anyone take his gold away from him…

Friday, August 17, 2012

Team GB Needed 63 Million Medals to Recover Gordon’s Gold

Team GB might have done the nation proud during the Olympics, but they needed to win a lot more medals if they wanted to earn back all the gold the Prime Mentalist sold off. Guido has done the maths:

Each gold medal contains 6g (or 1/5 oz) of gold.

This means five gold medals are needed to make one ounce.

Gordon Brown sold off 12.7 million ounces of gold.

5 x 12.7 million = 63.5 million gold medals.

At least the new Team GB did better than the old one…

Wednesday, August 15, 2012

Chuka’s Mandy Mistake

Chuka Umunna has been upping the pressure on Dave over Sunday trading laws, accusing ministers of misleading Parliament and writing to the holidaying PM to demand clarification. Last night he snorted:

Clearly Chuka has forgotten all about Labour’s attempts to deregulate Sunday trading restrictions, when old boss Gordon Brown tried to force the then Trade and Industry secretary Alan Johnson into adopting the policy. The FT reported at the time:

“Tony Blair and Gordon Brown are tacitly supporting deregulation of Sunday shopping to allow 24-hour trading for large shops, according to a leading industry lobbyist. The lobbyist insisted there were differences between Mr Brown and Mr Johnson. “Gordon Brown wanted to include deregulation in the Budget, but Alan Johnson put the brakes on,” he said.”

And they weren’t even in Coalition…

Chancellor of Fire

The Prime Mentalist has caused a stir north of the border by recreating the famous opening scene from Chariots of Fire. Still dressed in a suit, Brown sprinted across a Scottish beach with former first minister Henry McLeish. A stunned eyewitness reported:

They were suited and booted and I wondered if it was a photo call. But there were no cameras in sight. They carried on to the front of the beach and it looked as if they were making a line in the sand. Brown ran about 50 metres and then stopped. The others stopped for a second but then carried on and ran for another 300 metres.”

Knowing Gordon, they probably should have let him win…

Thursday, July 19, 2012

Gordon Does His Bit For Team GB

There was some great news for Team GB this morning.

Perhaps this will be a turning point for the Olympics…

Wednesday, July 18, 2012

Gordon Brown In Shock Sedition Trial

Guido got his hopes up when he saw that Gordon Brown would be appearing in the dock in a Kuala Lumpur court, but sadly the Prime Mentalist will only be a witness rather than a suspect. According to Malaysian newspaper The Sun Daily, Gordon has been summoned by the defence in a bizarre sedition trial halfway across the planet. At least that gives him another chance to rack up some more air miles…


Seen Elsewhere

Why Pollsters Could Be Wrong | John McDermott
Cameron Faces Vote of No Confidence or Rebellion | FT
Cameron Faces Revolt Over ‘Vow’ | Sun
It’s Time to Speak for England | John Redwood
It Was Me Who Taped Howard Flight | John Woodcock
Indy Editor: We Will Stay Afloat | Press Gazette
English Don’t Want Scotland to Stay at Any Price | Dan Hodges
England Must Have Self-Government Too | Mark Wallace
Next Year’s Election Will Be the Dirtiest Ever | Speccie
Chicken Salmond Runs Away From Sun Cabbie | Sun
Scary No Messages Don’t Add Up | Sun


VOTER-RECALL
Find out more about PLMR


Gyles Brandreth writes in his memoirs:

“Sunday, May 10, 1998

Early start: appearing on Breakfast With Frost, to be broadcast from 11 Downing Street. The Chancellor [Gordon Brown] is grouchily amiable, but so earnest — and still biting his fingernails to the quick.

After the show, he took us upstairs to his flat. He lives above No 10, while Blair and family are in the No 11 duplex, which is bigger and more like a proper house.

I was intrigued that, when he took us into his bedroom, the Chancellor rather ostentatiously opened the built-in wardrobes, as if he wanted us to see the women’s frocks that were hanging in there.

They looked quite large, but I don’t think they belong to Gordon. I assume they belong to his girlfriend [Sarah Macaulay, who he later married].

I presume he was keen for us to know that he has one — and that she’s not a ‘beard’. I don’t think he does anything without calculation.”



The British media are Hunts says:

Now the SNP know how UKIP voters feel all the time.


Tip off Guido
Web Guido's Archives

Subscribe me to:






RSS


AddThis Feed Button
Archive


Labels
Guido Reads
Follow

Get every new post delivered to your Inbox.

Join 1,456 other followers