The Labour Party at Prayer

Ed Thornton is the Senior Press Officer to the Archbishop of Canterbury. And guess what? He’s Labour.

Before he stepped up to his important role spinning for God, Thornton worked at the Fabians.

The Church of England: the Labour Party at prayer.

Exposed: Another Red Spinning for God

Richard Chapman is currently Justin Welby’s Secretary for Parliamentary Affairs

Another Labour plant.

Top Justin Welby Aide is Labour Sleeper Agent

The turbulent priest Justin ‘Oil’ Welby is being supported in his jihad against Cameron by a Miliband plant. As a member of the House of Lords, disgracefully, Welby is afforded a parliamentary aide and despite the bossy Bishop’s insistence that the church is politically neutral, Jack Palmer is a Labour Party member. Disturbingly, Palmer claims to have only joined the party to “vote for Ed Miliband to be the next leader”. 

This outspoken spokesman considers “Tory rule” a “grim prospect” and says Michael Gove “is a truly terrifying human being”. When this pound shop Thomas Cromwell is not campaigning on the doorstep, he’s tweeting away urging people to ‘support #Labour’. To the Tower! 

Cristina Odone Hits Back at “Ignorant” Hunt

Tristram Hunt is under heavy fire this morning over his inflammatory comments sneering at nuns on Question Time. Cristina Odone, to whom the Shadow Education Secretary scoffed “I know about your religious schooling”, hits back:

“Tristram Hunt’s comments on nuns last night were arrogant and ignorant. Why is it acceptable to denigrate anything Catholic but bleat tolerance about every other religion? To know he and Labour stand a chance at the next election makes me fear for the 7000 brilliant faith schools in this country.”

Guido has asked the Labour Party press office for a comment, but so far they have given nun…

Papa: Cussa My Mama and I’ll Smack-a You Uppa!

His Holiness has come out against Charlie Hebdo, saying he doesn’t believe in freedom of expression. AP reports:

“By way of example, he referred to Alberto Gasparri, who organizes papal trips and was standing by his side aboard the papal plane.

“If my good friend Dr. Gasparri says a curse word against my mother, he can expect a punch,” Francis said, throwing a pretend punch his way. “It’s normal. You cannot provoke. You cannot insult the faith of others. You cannot make fun of the faith of others.””

Very Old Testament Christian. Hardly the most helpful time for any religious leader to be endorsing violence against people who criticise religion either. So much for turning the other cheek…

Proper Christmas Card From Godly Dr Fox

That’s more like it.

The former Defence Secretary has even done a video to accompany his card, explaining why he won’t apologise for loving Jesus:

Take that ISIS!

Ian Paisley RIP

Rev Ian Paisley has surrendered this mortal coil.

Guido fears when St Peter introduces him to St John Paul II he is going to be very disappointed…

UPDATE:

The Lord Works in Mysterious Ways

For the first time ever, Chris Patten has acknowledged that there is an earthly being higher even than him. Fat Pang has taken a job as a spinner for the Pope, where among other things he will advise His Holiness on how to make his Twitter account a bit less… Pope-y. Good thing he has plenty of experience working for an organisation with an impressive record at covering up child abuse…

Ed Miliband: Britain is a “Christian Country”

And lo, it was Eastertide, and David spake unto the Church Times that Britain was indeed a Christian country. And it came to pass that godless pinkos wrote unto the Telegraph that David had sinned, for he had offended them. […]

Foodbanks, Christianity and Socialism

foodbank-jesus

Today is Holy Thursday, when the Queen traditionally offers alms known as Maundy money to deserving senior citizens. Scholars say “Maundy” comes from Jesus; “Mandatum novum do vobis ut diligatis invicem sicut dilexi vos”, “A new commandment I give […]

Are Food Markets Really Failing?

One of the key demands in today’s divine intervention is that the government “act to investigate food markets that are failing.” Well, if you look at inflation-adjusted prices of corn, wheat and soybean over the last hundred years…

…it […]

A Whine From God

Foodbanks? Check. Benefit sanctions? Check. Boring snoring? Check. On first glance you would have thought Rachel Reeves had written the letter from 27 bishops to the Mirror this morning. It is worth pointing out that the letter itself does not […]



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Quote of the Day

Adam Spiegel, producer of Nazi themed “The Producers” musical says…

“Margate seemed a perfect place to start the promotion. I’m disappointed but not entirely surprised to see that UKIP are trying to hitch a publicity ride on the back of the show.”

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