Friday, October 24, 2014

WATCH: GCHQ Staff Form Giant Human Poppy

Or did they?

Saturday, October 18, 2014

Clouded Oversight

GCHQ-ALWAYS-LISTENING-TO-OUR-CUSTOMERS

The Intelligence and Security Committee is finally investigating what GCHQ has been up to and will report in due course that everything is fine. It always does.

GCHQ’s operations are technically complex, and during this week’s session with the Shadow Home Secretary one committee member displayed the sort of technical prowess that we’ve come to expect from the political guardians of our liberties from over zealous spooks. On distinguishing between “internal” and “external” interception under the Regulation of Investigatory Powers Act 2000, Lord Lothian (Michael Ancram), highlighted exactly the sort of insight you would expect from someone tasked with oversight of GCHQ, whose projects include the subtly named “Mastering the Internet” programme – the £1 billion digital mass surveillance programme that would have made Big Brother’s eyes pop with jealousy. Ancram has been thinking:

“I thought, until about three months ago, that I understood this, until suddenly I start reading about cloud and wondering whether anything sent to cloud, whether its from here or anywhere else, is actually external because cloud is based somewhere in California.”

How will GCHQ pull the wool over his eyes?

Thursday, February 27, 2014

GCHQ is Watching You Watching Porn

The Guardian’s latest GCHQ leak reveals that our intelligence services have stockpiled a massive collection of people enjoying themselves on the internet. GCHQ’s ‘Optic Nerve’ surveillance programme intercepted webcam images of millions of users, a large number of which were at intimate moments.

It would seem that GCHQ has amassed a huge collection of cum face pics. Civil liberties campaign group Big Brother Watch has it about right:

“Secretly intercepting and taking photographs from millions of people’s webcam chats is as creepy as it gets. We have CCTV on our streets and now we have GCHQ in our homes.

It is right that the security services can target people and tap their communications but they should not be doing it to millions of people. This is an indiscriminate and intimate intrusion on people’s privacy.”

Don’t forget though, some of those masturbators may be terrorists…

Tuesday, February 25, 2014

Secret GCHQ Plan to Annoy Guido

Guido has often wondered who the window lickers in the comments on this site are, and now he knows. GCHQ have put together plan to infiltrate social media and blogs. As the slideshow below shows, sophisticated plans have been drawn up for online disruption. Tactics include online honey-trapping, leaking, impersonation  and manipulation.

Presumably this is targeted at fomenting revolution overseas rather than at home. Or possibly it is disinformation. Let the witch-hunt begin…


Seen Elsewhere

Comply or Die at Grauniad | MediaGuido
Labour Beats UKIP in South Yorkshire | LabourList
Mock the Week’s Weak Comedy | Nigel Farage
Can Jim Murphy Save Scottish Labour? | Guardian
There is Still Appetite for the Westminster Lunch | Jon Craig
Labour Turn Their Backs on Jewish Community | Dan Hodges
Chivalry is Not Dead | Laura Perrins
Jonathan Jones is a Tw*t | Iain Dale
Second Scotland Poll Suggests Labour Wipeout | Times
Paedo Probe Boss Urged to Quit | Sun
Keynesian Tories Won’t Eliminate Deficit | Tim Montgomerie


VOTER-RECALL
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Zac Goldsmith: “The hon. Gentleman might like to know that today’s Guido Fawkes quote of the day is the one on drug laws that we have heard cited by a number of hon. Members.”

Mike Hancock: “I am delighted to hear that Guido Fawkes is talking about something other than me.”



“Digger” Murdoch says:

Is it just me, or is Nigel Farage just a top hat and a monocle away from being a Batman villain?


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