Tuesday, February 12, 2013

Right Here, Right Now, In Parliament
Fat Boy Slim to DJ Westminster

Guido is preparing to relive his more youthful days as Fat Boy Slim is playing in Parliament on 6 March, thanks to the Last Night A DJ Saved My Life Foundation. Norman Cook is excited too: “I’ve played some exciting and unique places around the world from Bondi Beach to The Great Wall of China to an Igloo but playing in the House of Commons might be the most unique to date.” See you at the “House The House” event. Sorted.

Thursday, December 20, 2012

Two Faced Chuka’s Christmas Message

If you take a stroll  past Chuka Umunna’s constituency office in Streatham today, you are greeted by this message:

And where is their saviour when you need him?

His villa in Ibiza perhaps? 

No, in fact he’s hosting another one of his parties tonight for media types instead of being there for his constituents. The only problem is that it seems not many of them want to go and the city agency that Umunna has outsourced running his party to are starting to flap:

That’s what happens when you try to be all things to all people…

Friday, December 14, 2012

Browne Sugar
LibDem’s ‘Fact-Finding Mission’ to Amsterdam

BROWNE

Coming out as pro-liberalisation if not pro-drugs legalisation, at least Nick Clegg is moving in the right direction this morning. There is much talk in Westminster, surely not rooted in jealously, of his announcement that Jeremy Browne will be sent on an all-expenses paid “fact-finding mission” to Amsterdam, Portugal and Latin America. The Home Office minister will be, ahem, researching the effects of liberal drugs policies in these countries. At least that’s what he is telling his boss…

Monday, November 19, 2012

Gaza’s Aqua Park has Been Destroyed

The Crazy Water Park, which was at the heart of Gaza’s vibrant tourist scene, has been destroyed by fire. Gazans used to be able to swim and relax by the pools and there were water slides for the young children. It was a happy place once but the Middle East News Watch reports:

“40 gunmen tied up and blindfolded a nightwatchman before setting fire to an administrative building and restaurant. The fire engulfed different parts of the club, including an administrative building, and then spread to the main restaurant and cafeteria, which is three storeys high.”

No, this was not the repressive IDF attacking the strip, it was Hamas terrorists who were outraged that the park had “hosted parties in which men and women mingled.” Nice bunch.

Friday, October 12, 2012

Rest in Peace – Prince Roy of Sealand
“I might die young or old, but I will never die of boredom”

Farewell then Prince Roy of Sealand, leader of the free micro-state based seven miles off of Suffolk coast. The pirate radio guru,  former British Army Major and libertarian poster-boy Paddy Roy Bates has died aged 91. Prince Roy seized Sealand in 1967, and declared it an independent nation in 1975. After various coups and run-ins with the British Navy, Sealand was finally recognised as a nation after the Germans sent a hostage negotiator to the 5,920sq ft former civil war fort after an attempted coup in 1978.

After broadcasting pirate radio across the south-east of England, the principality has latterly made its money out of hosting servers and selling titles to the likes of Neo-Guido, a Baron of the free-land. Prince Roy is succeeded, after a minor power struggle with Princess Joan, by Michael, the new regent and head of state. There could be a challenge though by one Johannes Seiger who is head of the shadow Sealandic Rebel Government, based in Germany, since his father was forced out after the failed coup of ’78.

A major film is in production about the nation’s history, until then Guido will leave you with the motto of this concrete paradise: “E Mare Libertas”

Tuesday, September 18, 2012

Evan Harris Actually on Drugs

If you missed the much-maligned Professor David Nutt on Radio 4 this morning, then Guido would highly recommend catching up on the interview here. His research into using drugs like ecstasy and magic mushrooms to treat depression or to allow victims of trauma to open up about their experiences was fascinating. It’s now emerged that former LibDem MP Evan Harris will be taking party in Nutt’s Channel Four show which will look at the effects of MDMA. The usual crowd are shocked and appalled that a former MP will be dropping a bean live on TV. Guido had always presumed Evan Harris was on drugs anyway…

Wednesday, August 22, 2012

Lobbyists, Wonks and Tories Mingling at the Russian Embassy
Conservative Friends of Russia Launch Party

Last night Guido infiltrated the Russian Embassy for the Conservative Friends of Russia launch party. The vodka was flowing as lobbyists, businessmen, wonks and Conservative MPs mingled with Russian diplomats and pals of Putin. Guido gathers that the decision to set up Conservative Friends of Russia was not taken lightly, with the Tory hierarchy expressing concerns that the group was being established the week after the Pussy Riot girls were imprisoned. Perhaps that was why the advertised keynote speaker Malcolm Rifkind didn’t show…

Replacing Rifkind was John Whittingdale, who awkwardly noted that “sometimes our country will not agree with your country, and sometimes your country will not agree with ours“. With the pleasantries dealt with the Russian Standard booze was wheeled out and tongues were loosened. One champagne-swilling Russian reader told Guido that he would be locked up if he ever decided to relocate the blog to the motherland…

UPDATE: CFoR have got in touch claiming that Rifkind is in Scotland and was never due to speak at the event. Despite being their Honorary President

UPDATE II:  Guido has independently confirmed that Rifkind was in Edinburgh yesterday and was never intended to be there.

Friday, August 17, 2012

Labour MP’s Meow Son Skips Court

A Labour MP’s son charged with selling legal highs has failed to turn up at court…because he was on holiday. Sean Ellman, the son of Liverpool MP Louise Ellman, was supposed to appear in the dock yesterday but his barrister told the court he was abroad with his “respectable family“.

The irony was not lost on the judge, who described the excuse as “utterly unacceptable“.

Meow… 

Monday, August 13, 2012

Video: Dave Ain’t Got the Moves Like Johnson

Friday, July 6, 2012

Mensch on Drugs


Seen Elsewhere

Comply or Die at Grauniad | MediaGuido
Labour Beats UKIP in South Yorkshire | LabourList
Mock the Week’s Weak Comedy | Nigel Farage
Can Jim Murphy Save Scottish Labour? | Guardian
There is Still Appetite for the Westminster Lunch | Jon Craig
Labour Turn Their Backs on Jewish Community | Dan Hodges
Chivalry is Not Dead | Laura Perrins
Jonathan Jones is a Tw*t | Iain Dale
Second Scotland Poll Suggests Labour Wipeout | Times
Paedo Probe Boss Urged to Quit | Sun
Keynesian Tories Won’t Eliminate Deficit | Tim Montgomerie


VOTER-RECALL
Find out more about PLMR


Zac Goldsmith: “The hon. Gentleman might like to know that today’s Guido Fawkes quote of the day is the one on drug laws that we have heard cited by a number of hon. Members.”

Mike Hancock: “I am delighted to hear that Guido Fawkes is talking about something other than me.”



“Digger” Murdoch says:

Is it just me, or is Nigel Farage just a top hat and a monocle away from being a Batman villain?


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