BREAKING: Plain Packaging is Happening…

CONFIRMED: As Guido predicted, Jane Ellison just announced the government will go ahead with standardised packaging. They have the votes…

You read it here first.

Burnham Bounces Balls into £11 Billion Spending Pledge

BURNHAM-BALLS

Shadow Health Secretary Andy Burnham has been out and about this morning pushing Labour’s public health manifesto. It basically amounts to yet another series of caps – the usual series of nanny state, anti–business policies.

It wasn’t the detail which interested Guido – more then timing of the announcement. As part of the policies, Burnham has reiterated his pledge to introduce plain packaging on tobacco (despite dismissing it back in 2008 when he was Health Secretary). Such a move could result in a future government facing an £11 billion compensation bill to Big Tobacco, according to a report by analysts at the BNP Paribas and other legal experts.

Guido wonders why the future Labour leadership hopeful chose today of all days to make his announcement? Could it be because Shadow Chancellor Ed Balls is in the US – that he decides today to announce what is effectively a £10 billion deficit busting new spending pledge?

UPDATE: A co-conspirator shrouded in  smoke reminds Guido that in government when he was Secretary of State for Health, Andy Burnham wrote in a November 2009 letter to Tessa Jowell:

“No studies have shown that introducing plain packaging of tobacco products would cut the number of young people smoking, or enable people who want to quit, to do so. Given the impact that plain packaging would have on intellectual property rights, we would need strong and convincing evidence showing the health benefits of this policy before it would be acceptable at an international level.”

What has changed?

Blogging May Be Light This Morning…

Guido is nursing a sore head from yesterday’s Christmas lunch, which overran somewhat.

After Martin Rowson shamelessly cancelled on his promise to sketch the team due to corporate influence, eminent artist Iain Martin graciously stepped in:

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We’ll be back shortly…

Going for Lunch: Meme Miliband Challenge

meme-machine

Ed Miliband’s 7-minute immigration speech reminded Guido of something…

one-does-not-simply-walk-into-mordor

So here goes…

ONE-DOES-NOT-MEME

Co-conspirators can use the top picture to create their own versions and upload into the new comments system below.

We will try sort out a goodie bag for the best entry.

We’re off to our Christmas lunch, blogging may be sporadic… see you in 2015.

Come See CITIZENFOUR Christmas Drinks / Movie With TechnoGuido

techno-guido-citizen4

Guido presents a special readers’ screening of CITIZENFOUR, the new film starring Edward Snowden from Academy Award nominee Laura Poitras, next Wednesday, 6.30pm, December 17 at the crumbling old Guardian HQ on 119 Farringdon Road, London, EC1R 3ER. Come and see inside the Lubyanka-like former headquarters of the Guardian, watch the movie and enjoy a drink before Christmas.

This is a free screening for Guido’s readers and Techno-Guido will be supplying the drinks!

In January 2013, Laura Poitras several years into the making of a film about abuses of national security in post-9/11 America when she started receiving encrypted emails from someone identifying himself as “citizen four”, who was ready to blow the whistle on the massive covert surveillance programs run by the NSA and other intelligence agencies.

In June 2013, she and reporter Glenn Greenwald flew to Hong Kong for the first of many meetings with the man who turned out to be Edward Snowden. She brought her camera with her. The film that resulted from this series of tense encounters is absolutely unique in the history of cinema: a 100% real-life thriller unfolding minute by minute before our eyes.

Warning: this movie has strong libertarian undertones…

Tickets available below:

WATCH: Highlights From Face-Sitting Porn Protest

Watch Guido’s entire NSFW coverage here.

Ben Bradshaw’s Suit Gone to Pot

Troubled times for the children of Blair. Ben Bradshaw is wandering around in a hole-ridden suit. Admittedly Guido doesn’t like it when he has to dispose of a Savile Row number either, but it’s hardly a good look. Bradshaw is blaming Parliament’s infestation of moths – and the authorities have confirmed there is a problem. Though it looks a suspiciously like hot rock damage to Guido. Has Ben been “sharing his sister’s rollie” again?

WATCH: What Osborne Really Saw at PMQs

Guido did not receive a response when he asked a Treasury spokesman if the Chancellor had eaten disco biscuits on Tuesday night…

Via @holbornlolz.

Let Them Eat Death Burger

Not content with nannying people about booze and fags, the state is now trying to stop us from eating burgers. Birmingham Public Health childhood obesity co-ordinator Charlene Mulhern, whose job has so far evaded the clutches of ‘austerity’, has called for Hungry House’s double-donut, double-beefburger with melted cheese and smoked streaky bacon to be withdrawn from sale. […]

+ READ MORE +

Blogging May Be Light This Morning…

… As Guido is nursing his hangover from last night’s readers’ party. His memory is slightly hazy, but there are a few things he can remember, remember from this fifth of November’s gunpowder treason and plot…

As the sun set in Westminster, one mysterious figure was spotted heading towards parliament wheeling behind him a suspicious looking barrel:

… As co-conspirators studied plans of parliament in the cellar of the Red Lion:

There was a heavy police presence:

While Boris was the star turn at Guido’s awards party two weeks back, last night Jo Johnson followed his brother:

Either Guido had a bizarre dream, or outside Vivienne Westwood was turned away by the cops.[…]

+ READ MORE +

Remember, Remember…

Join us tonight to celebrate 10 years of Guido, downstairs at the Red Lion from 6pm. A load of drunks in a cellar on November 5, what could possibly go wrong…[…]

+ READ MORE +

Guido Co-Conspirators Drinks Invitation Going Out Tonight

gf10-readers-drinks-tease

We’re having a drinks party for co-conspirators, this Wednesday, which not uncoincidentally is November Fifth. Guidogram subscribers will get the invitation tonight, and numbers are limited. Guido is putting £1,000 behind the bar…

You can subscribe to the Guidogram here.[…]

+ READ MORE +

We Had a Party, Almost Everyone Came…

More from Guido’s Tenth Anniversary Awards night to follow…[…]

+ READ MORE +

Soon…

soon

Blogging will be light this afternoon. The Guido Awards… and the Golden Crosshairs. Soon…[…]

+ READ MORE +

Friday Caption Contest (UKIP Coke Party Edition)

Entries in the comments please…[…]

+ READ MORE +

Huge Tory Swing in Bath

Carpet-bagging wannabe MP and renowned bon viveur Ben Howlett has been getting to know his constituency, sampling the delights of Bath’s night-life. These photos were taken at the Po Na Na club, which Guido can confirm from personal experience is a dive.[…]

+ READ MORE +



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Quote of the Day

Owen Smith backs one hour contracts but wants to abolish zero hours contracts:

“You need to give people a contract to say, ‘here’s what you will be working’. It could be one, but I’m saying it shouldn’t be zero, we should invert that emphasis.”

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