Finally Ed Balls Masters the Line

The Shadow Chancellor visited a community centre in Kilburn this afternoon. There was line dancing.

The worrying thing is he knows the moves…

Footage via Richard Osley

Jim Murphy Reacts to Ipsos Mori Poll

An unfortuante juxtaposition as news of Labour’s impending doom in Scotland broke on Sky…


And Now… a Party Political Broadcast From the ‘Cannabis is Safer Than Alcohol’ Party

Bong! Bong! Bong! BBC News Theme is “Massive Club Banger”

Definitely not ripping off Bill Bailey, Radio 1 DJ Greg James says he “realised the full potential” of the BBC News theme as “a massive club banger”. Hereford was on one (o’clock news)…

Tory Ball Goodie Bag

Tory Black & White Ball Goodie Bag

What do you get in a Tory Black & White Ball goodie bag? Despite the pricey £15,000-a-table tickets, you get tat…

A tea-towel emblazoned with “The problem with socialism…” quote from Maggie, a Conservative Foundation paper bookmark seeking a cheery mention in your will, a plastic pen, Tory drinks coaster, a “securing a better future” blue piggy bank (hint), a bumper sticker and a canvas bag with election slogans on them. Not forgetting the auction catalogue… Sadly Guido was outbid on the chance to go shoe shopping with Theresa May…

Green Party Leader Natalie Bennett Stoner Shocker! Hesitates Before Admitting Dope Smoking

Green leader Natalie Bennett hesitated just a little too long under the forensic questioning of LBC’s Duncan Barkes this lunchtime:

DB: “Are you a drug user?”

NB: “Um, er, I… have a glass of wine most evenings…”

Natalie revealed she used to smoke dope but insisted she doesn’t “dabble” any more. Could have fooled anyone who has read her manifesto…

Plain Pack Fireworks Expected at CabinetOsborne, May & Hammond Confront Hunt Over Pack Backtrack

Word reaches Guido that there is serious consternation amongst a number of senior Tories over the way in which last week’s surprise announcement about plain packaging was squeezed out like an awkward fart. Usually reliable sources suggest Osborne is set to raise it at Cabinet this morning, with Jeremy Hunt in the sights for a proper going over. In an increasingly rare moment of agreement between the Chancellor and the Home Secretary, Guido hears Theresa May is pretty annoyed too about how the move was snuck out with little or no wider consultation of Cabinet colleagues. Big Phil Hammond is also said to be against the Labour-backed measure, sceptically telling the BBC last week that he “will want to look very carefully at the evidence.” The consensus is ‘bat sh*t’ Jane Ellison has gone ‘totally native’ and will do anything to please the do-gooders and pen-pushers that choke up the Department for Health…

Some Sad News…

A sad day in libertarian circles as it emerges young campaigner Christina Annesley has died while on holiday in Thailand.

The one time Tory turned ‘Kipper turned vocal free spirit was a regular on the young right-wing scene and was just 23 years old.

Guido’s thoughts are with her family and many friends this morning.


UPDATE: Foreign Office statement:

“We can confirm the death of a British National in Thailand on 21 January 2014. We are providing consular assistance to the family at this difficult time.”

BREAKING: Plain Packaging is Happening…

CONFIRMED: As Guido predicted, Jane Ellison just announced the government will go ahead with standardised packaging.[…]


Burnham Bounces Balls into £11 Billion Spending Pledge


Shadow Health Secretary Andy Burnham has been out and about this morning pushing Labour’s public health manifesto. It basically amounts to yet another series of caps – the usual series of nanny state, anti–business policies.

It wasn’t the detail which interested Guido – more then timing of the announcement.[…]


Blogging May Be Light This Morning…

Guido is nursing a sore head from yesterday’s Christmas lunch, which overran somewhat.

After Martin Rowson shamelessly cancelled on his promise to sketch the team due to corporate influence, eminent artist Iain Martin graciously stepped in:


We’ll be back shortly…[…]


Going for Lunch: Meme Miliband Challenge


Ed Miliband’s 7-minute immigration speech reminded Guido of something…


So here goes…


Co-conspirators can use the top picture to create their own versions and upload into the new comments system below.

We will try sort out a goodie bag for the best entry.[…]


Come See CITIZENFOUR Christmas Drinks / Movie With TechnoGuido


Guido presents a special readers’ screening of CITIZENFOUR, the new film starring Edward Snowden from Academy Award nominee Laura Poitras, next Wednesday, 6.30pm, December 17 at the crumbling old Guardian HQ on 119 Farringdon Road, London, EC1R 3ER. Come and see inside the Lubyanka-like former headquarters of the Guardian, watch the movie and enjoy a drink before Christmas.



WATCH: Highlights From Face-Sitting Porn Protest

Watch Guido’s entire NSFW coverage here.[…]


Ben Bradshaw’s Suit Gone to Pot

Troubled times for the children of Blair. Ben Bradshaw is wandering around in a hole-ridden suit. Admittedly Guido doesn’t like it when he has to dispose of a Savile Row number either, but it’s hardly a good look. Bradshaw is blaming Parliament’s infestation of moths – and the authorities have confirmed there is a problem.[…]


WATCH: What Osborne Really Saw at PMQs

Guido did not receive a response when he asked a Treasury spokesman if the Chancellor had eaten disco biscuits on Tuesday night…

Via @holbornlolz.


Tip offs: 0709 284 0531

Quote of the Day

Philip Hammond at Treasury questions:

“I’m sorry to be boring.”

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