GOLD: These Were His Salad Days

“Remember we were partners in crime…”

Live Like Chuka Umunna at the White House
Only £36,000 for the Summer Holidays!

Click to enlarge

Chuka Umunna is not the only Labour front-bencher to be visiting the White House this summer. For the cheeky sum of £36,000 you can live like the Shadow Business Secretary for a week at Casa Blanca – his family’s villa in Ibiza is available to rent for £1,700-a-week. Unfortunately it is all booked out until September – so Guido will have to wait…

Click above to see inside the ‘spacious, airy’ 3000 square foot San Jose property, which boasts a private pool and is ‘situated within its own 1.5 acre grounds, in an elevated hill-side position. With parking for several cars, the villa is also surrounded by a large, natural pine garden and tiered flowerbeds.’  It’s recommended for a ‘Romantic Getaway’. You too can read “50 Shades of Grey” by the pool with a special friend… all a very long way from his Streatham constituency in south London.

No trashy types please…

Curvy Alan Rusbridger Gets the Full Mail Online Treatment

Camped outside celebrity hangout Chiltern Firehouse,  Dave and SamCam’s fav in Marylebone for date night, the snappers spotted Nigella Lawson with an scruffy looking  lunch partner. But who could this “Harry Potter look-a-like” be?

“Alan, her lunchtime companion, wore a crumpled navy suit and a blue shirt which hung to his curves. His hair looked in need of a good brushing and he wore his recognisable round glasses – making him look like the fictional wizard.”

5 points to Slytherin.

Lobby Snorts at Labour Lawbreaker Line

One question has been buzzing around today:

One for Ed’s team to sniff out.

Liberty Online: Live Stream of Guido at #Liberty2014

A post-three bottle lunch Guido has strolled down to the CPS conference. Tune in at 18:30:

Maggie, Maggie, Maggie! Hic, hic, hic!

Dame! William Hague, Foreign Sec Honours Actress

Willy kneel?

Aussie Plain Packs Experiment Fails
“Evidence World’s Toughest Anti-Smoking Laws Not Working”

Not a day goes by without some left-wing health zealot calling on the UK to follow Australia’s lead and introduce plain packs. But it has not escaped Guido’s notice that they are strangely silent on whether it works.

Perhaps this is why…
aussie-plain-packs-frontpage

MPs are increasingly aware of the growing consensus down under that Labor’s nanny state has spectacularly backfired – with more fags sold now than before. Health experts, academics and commentators are mocking the policy and parliament is debating its repeal. No wonder Tory backbenchers think it a “shame” to follow suit…

Farage Drowns His Sorrows at the Newark Count

Despite his Maltese hangover, Nigel Farage was back on the Malbec at the Newark count:

Taking it down a notch or two from his jet-set partying earlier in the week.

Crystal Methodist Pleads Guilty

Rev Flowers has pleaded guilty to possession of cocaine, methyl amphetamine and ketamine at Leeds Magistrates Court. He has been fined £525. Or 6 Gs as he would call it.[…]

Crystal Methodist Thanks BBC for Newsnight Fawning

Having been charged with drug offences this morning, the renowned gak-fiend Reverend Flowers lavished praise on the BBC for giving him such an easy ride when he appeared on Newsnight:

“There is a phrase for some people, they call

[…]

Nigel Evans Cleared of Rape and Sexual Assault
No Immediate Restoration of Tory Whip 

Evans was led from the dock in tears as local supporters and friends in the gallery erupted into cheers.

Not guilty on eight counts. 

UPDATE: The Guardian are withering in their destruction of the CPS case against Evans:

“The prosecution

[…]

Hacks Dry, While Bullingdon Boy Dimbers is on the Bolly

Bullingdon Boy David Dimbleby is already on the Bollinger, while the mere plebs in the Spin Room will apparently be left dry for tonight’s BBC Europe debate. Beeb cuts are biting deep for all but a few privileged old timers.[…]



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Quote of the Day

Andrew Neil on the dying Dead Tree Press

“I read more bloggers now than mainstream columnists, because they’ve got more interesting things to say. Too many columnists today make you think, ‘Yeah, I think you’ve said that 10 times before and I’ve just noticed your column has not go a single fact in it’”.

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