Corbyn Dances to “F**k You” as Stalin Looks On

Jeremy Corbyn found himself mobbed by a harem of tipsy fans at last night’s Mirror party. He politely shuffled his feet to Cee Lo Green’s “F**k You” but made his exit once his female admirers began throwing themselves at him:

Looking down upon him from the wall of Brighton Revolutions?

While female MPs were unimpressed by the #EverydaySexism on show:

See if you can spot an unlikely fan coming face to face with Jezza in the video…

Delingpole on Druggy Dave

James Delingpole recalls “a beautiful sunny afternoon in the summer of 1985”, where he, a young David Cameron and another James “are sitting cross-legged in an oak-panelled room high above one of Oxford’s grandest college quads stoned out of their brains on marijuana”.

“Check that out!” says Dave. His father’s a wealthy stockbroker; like the other James, he went to Eton; he’s very good at tennis, he’s got a gorgeous girlfriend called Fran and he speaks in the richy, fruity voice of one who knows he is born to rule.

“Check what out?” I say. Of the three, I’m the least posh. I only went to a ‘minor public school’ and I speak with a slight Birmingham accent.

“That amazing drum sound,” says Dave. “Where the beats all go close together and kind of merge into one.”

“Oh yeah. The flam” says James, who knows his music.

“Yeah the flam,” agrees Dave. “Maybe that’s what we should call ourselves: The Flam Club.”

“And what exactly is the purpose of the Flam Club, exactly?” I ask.

“We sit around getting stoned and listening out for the flams on Supertramp albums,” explains Dave.

Read the full account over on Breitbart here

Burnham ‘Just Checking Out’ Westminster Bubble

There was Guido making his way through the heart of the Westminster bubble last night, when who did he happen to stumble across? Only man of t’people Andy Burnham, posing for photos outside the Westminster Arms, the definitive core of the SW1 bubble. What on earth was an outsider like Andy doing at the very epicentre of the metropolitan elite? “I just thought I’d come and check out the bubble,” he told Guido.

Burnham was in a bullish mood about his chances last night, telling Guido “we can still do it” and insisting that second preferences meant he was the only candidate who can stop Corbyn. Of course Cooper’s people say the same about her. Keen to quickly get away from the bubble, Andy rejected the offer of a pint from a supporter and made his exit… to his flat less than a mile away in Kennington…

Osborne Mocks Labour Contest: “I’ve Got Three More Votes Left to Cast”

George Osborne just about recovered from his 2011 w*nker joke faux pas to land the coveted GQ Politician of the Year award at the Royal Opera House last night.

Westminster style icon Osborne was presented the award by his friend Bob Geldof, who revealed he personally called the Chancellor the day before to give him an ear-bashing about the refugee crisis. George’s gags were much better received this time, including an obligatory dig at the Labour leadership contest:

“The Labour leadership contest hasn’t got long to go and I’ve got three more votes left to cast”

Piers certainly enjoyed it…

The ever-svelte Osborne had a whole table sorted for his top Treasury team, though they quickly slipped off before the after party for prettier guests. GQ Politician of the Year 2016: Jezza Corbyn and his vest…?

Jez Dances as Corbynistas Chant “Vamos Corbyn!”

Footage has emerged of feelgood Jeremy Corbyn cutting shapes in a London nightclub, pumping his fist in the air in a Chavez-style ‘people power’ salute, as a Latin American guitarist leads a chorus of “Vamos Corbyn! Vamos Corbyn!” to the tune of the Gypsy Kings’ Bambeleo.

The senstational video was filmed on Saturday night, at the Latinos for Corbyn fundraiser at El Vergel:

He also played the bongos:

And had a bloomin’ good time:

Viva la fiesta! Viva Corbynista!

Corbynistas Plan to ‘Drink Blood of Thatcher’

Jeremy Corbyn’s supporters will be partying like it’s 1983 at the Speakeasy Bar in Epping tomorrow night. The Corbyn campaign is sponsoring an official ‘Cocktails for Corbyn‘ bash, offering drinks such as “Dianne Abbotts” [sic], described as “Champagne Socialist Martinis”, and “Kier Hardie” Old Fashioneds. Also on the menu are “Bloody Margarets“, a rather tasteless reference to the late Lady Thatcher. Only 11 people have RSVP’d so far, seems Essex isn’t a Corbynista heartland. Bloodthirsty Reds…

Post Plain Packaging Aussie Tobacco Sales Up 0.5%

F0694673-A289-4841-BEBC-C0C613122BA8

Despite claims to the contrary, following the introduction of plain packaging for cigarettes in Australia, tobacco sales increased by 0.5%. Sales were declining  by 5.4% per year in the years before plain packaging was introduced…

The Australian figures will come as an embarrassment for the puritanical British MPs who bulldozed through standardised packaging legislation in March this year. Forbidden fruit tastes the sweetest… 

Congratulations to the Newly Weds, Mr & Mrs Neil

Congratulations…

Corbynistas Already Planning Victory Rally

There might be a month until the ballot closes, but that hasn’t stopped some excitable Corbyn supporters from organising a mass “victory party” for their man on September 12:

Nearly 1,000 people have already signed up to attend the event, which sounds just great:

Will they be flying the red flag through the streets of London, or are they a tad premature?[…]

+ READ MORE +

End of an Era…

End of an error, more like…[…]

+ READ MORE +

Blogging May Be Light…

anchorman

It’s Neo-Guido’s leaving lunch this afternoon.

Guido will be drowning his sorrows down the pub later, come buy him a Guinness. Usual place…[…]

+ READ MORE +

Rain on Dave’s Parade

The PM brought back up to his summer bash for Peroni-guzzling Lobby hacks last night, but it was the weather that rained on his parade – literally. As damp Tory leadership contenders worked the thinning lawn of the Downing Street rose garden, a relaxed Dave stood side by side with Theresa May doling out titbits to a ‘doughnut’ of senior correspondents, while Saj put in a good innings.[…]

+ READ MORE +

Dave Struggles With Another Three Letter Acronym Text

Along with Boris (late), Hammond (cold),  Fallon (sober-ish), Soubry (jolly), Hancock (bouncy) and former Aussie PM John Howard, the PM laid it on thick last night at Lynton Crosby’s victory party at the Science Museum.

Taking the stage to do his best Australian accent, Dave was sweary:

“‘Stick to your course and bloody do it…’ That is Lynton in a bloody nutshell.”

The PM also revealed he was struggling with three letter acronyms again, this time curt text messages from his campaign manager about “Paisley pyjamas or whatever”:

“I didn’t have my glasses on and could only see WEF, and I was wondering why he was talking about the World Economic Forum.  

[…]

+ READ MORE +

Green Party Youth’s Glastonbury Mash Up

festival-crowd-girls

The bright eyed youth wing of the Green Party are sending 100 of their members to Glastonbury Festival as part of a “sustainability project”. They will aim to establish “sustainable ‘villages’ which minimise everyone’s impact on the farm“.[…]

+ READ MORE +

Cannabis Campaigners For Corbyn

Coach loads of trots are being bussed into London on Saturday for a union-funded End Austerity Now march on parliament. Jeremy Corbyn will be there, hoping to convince as many as he can to pay their £3 and sign up to vote.[…]

+ READ MORE +

Westminster Arms Faces Closure Threat

Worrying news for one of Westminster’s favourite watering holes. Guido understands that the Westminster Arms on Storey’s Gate – preferred pub of Nigel Farage and half of CCHQ – is facing a fight to stay open.

The Arms is run by Irish firebrand Gerry Dolan but co-owned by an equity company, which owns the building next door and the downstairs bar.[…]

+ READ MORE +



Tip offs: 0709 284 0531
team@Order-order.com

Quote of the Day

Boris campaign team member Jake Berry not taking well:

“There is a very deep pit reserved in Hell for such as he. #Gove”

Guidogram: Sign up

Subscribe to the most succinct 7 days a week daily email read by thousands of Westminster insiders.

Facebook

Red Ken’s “Hitler” Remix Redux Red Ken’s “Hitler” Remix Redux
GOVE: I AM THE BREXIT CANDIDATE GOVE: I AM THE BREXIT CANDIDATE
BLUNDERING BORIS’ BOTCHED ANDREA OFFERS BLUNDERING BORIS’ BOTCHED ANDREA OFFERS
CORBYN LAUGHS AND JOKES WITH SMEETH HECKLER “I TEXTED YOU” CORBYN LAUGHS AND JOKES WITH SMEETH HECKLER “I TEXTED YOU”
GOVE: WHY I KNIFED BORIS GOVE: WHY I KNIFED BORIS
JEWISH LABOUR MP ABUSED AT CORBYN ANTI-SEMITISM EVENT JEWISH LABOUR MP ABUSED AT CORBYN ANTI-SEMITISM EVENT
TRACKING #TORYLEADERSHIP CAMPAIGN 2016 TRACKING #TORYLEADERSHIP CAMPAIGN 2016
BORIS PULLS OUT BORIS PULLS OUT
TORY LEADERSHIP DECLARATIONS LATEST TORY LEADERSHIP DECLARATIONS LATEST
MAY: “BREXIT MEANS BREXIT” MAY: “BREXIT MEANS BREXIT”
Gove’s Full Statement Gove’s Full Statement
AB FAB’S PATSY AND EDINA SPEAK ON BREXIT AB FAB’S PATSY AND EDINA SPEAK ON BREXIT
CORBYN GETS HIS NEW POLITICS AT LAST CORBYN GETS HIS NEW POLITICS AT LAST
CORBYNISTAS WEAPONISE CAMERON CORBYNISTAS WEAPONISE CAMERON
PM TO CORBYN: “FOR HEAVEN’S SAKE MAN, GO!” PM TO CORBYN: “FOR HEAVEN’S SAKE MAN, GO!”
GLOVES OFF: CRABB GOES FOR BORIS GLOVES OFF: CRABB GOES FOR BORIS
JEDIS FOR JEZ JEDIS FOR JEZ
DON’T TRIGGER ARTICLE 50 UNTIL THE DEAL IS CLEAR DON’T TRIGGER ARTICLE 50 UNTIL THE DEAL IS CLEAR
SNP CELEBRATE ENGLAND OUT OF EUROPE SNP CELEBRATE ENGLAND OUT OF EUROPE