Friday, June 6, 2014

Farage Drowns His Sorrows at the Newark Count

Despite his Maltese hangover, Nigel Farage was back on the Malbec at the Newark count:

Taking it down a notch or two from his jet-set partying earlier in the week.

Wednesday, May 7, 2014

Crystal Methodist Pleads Guilty

Rev Flowers has pleaded guilty to possession of cocaine, methyl amphetamine and ketamine at Leeds Magistrates Court. He has been fined £525. Or 6 Gs as he would call it.

Wednesday, April 16, 2014

Crystal Methodist Thanks BBC for Newsnight Fawning

Having been charged with drug offences this morning, the renowned gak-fiend Reverend Flowers lavished praise on the BBC for giving him such an easy ride when he appeared on Newsnight:

“There is a phrase for some people, they call them vultures, and I really do hope that somebody quotes me on that, especially the BBC. The BBC have been really nice to me but the rest of you are vultures.”

He must be very grateful that Newsnight failed to ask him about his use of drugs and rent-boys since he declared himself a changed man…

Thursday, April 10, 2014

Nigel Evans Cleared of Rape and Sexual Assault
No Immediate Restoration of Tory Whip 

Evans was led from the dock in tears as local supporters and friends in the gallery erupted into cheers.

Not guilty on eight counts. 

UPDATE: The Guardian are withering in their destruction of the CPS case against Evans:

“The prosecution case against Nigel Evans, the former Commons deputy speaker, began to fall apart as soon as his accusers entered the witness box. One by one, the young men trooped into Preston crown court and said they did not consider themselves victims of any criminal offence, nor had they wanted to complain to police.”

UPDATE II:

Wednesday, April 2, 2014

Hacks Dry, While Bullingdon Boy Dimbers is on the Bolly

Bullingdon Boy David Dimbleby is already on the Bollinger, while the mere plebs in the Spin Room will apparently be left dry for tonight’s BBC Europe debate. Beeb cuts are biting deep for all but a few privileged old timers.

In light of this tragic news, Guido is planning on pre-gaming in the bar of the Langham Hotel opposite Broadcasting House from about 5.30:

It’s a convenient location, if a little pricey. See you there.

Monday, March 31, 2014

Chuka Ne Remember Rien

The socialist French government have been showing Chuka Umunna some love, whisking the our two-faced chum across the channel for an all-expenses paid three day visit.

The £4,348 cost of the trip included the services of a translator, which is odd given Chuka boasts on his CV about his degree in English and French Law.

Clearly the year that he spent at the University of Burgundy in Dijon, France did not cut the mustard.

Have all those long nights partying in Ibiza had some sort of negative effect on Chuka’s memory?

Saturday, March 29, 2014

Celebrate this Special Day

Image

Today has been a long time coming for many co-conspirators, a day we feared we would never see. Fortunately Norman Tebbit’s serious poor health this year has not stopped him becoming 83 years young today. Happy Birthday Norman!

Thursday, March 13, 2014

The Honourable Member for Tinder

These screenshots from hook up app Tinder are doing rounds, purporting to be LibDem MP Stephen Gilbert. At least he seems to have kept his clothes on, unlike the last MP to get caught up in online dating. Left swipe.

MPs Laughing at Cancer

Over £100, 000 was raised last night at the Sixteenth Annual Macmillan Cancer Support’s Parliamentary Palace of Varieties. The Daily Politics were there, though they missed Guido losing a bet to LibDem MP John Hemming that Fabricant, Gillan and Binley would slag off the PM in their turn. They didn’t, Hemming got Guido’s money which he very sportingly spent on brandy and port. Glasman and Jesse Norman were blowing their own trumpets once again, yet the star of the night was Lord Dobbs of Gilbert and Sullivan. Michael Fabricant in bunches is a sight you will struggle to forget…

Wednesday, February 26, 2014

@MsSallyBercow Tweets Sally in Rehab

Sally-Berow-2461841

Late last night an account purporting to be that of Sally Bercow tweeted:

“SB friend for 20 yrs & she asked i tweet 4 her- she in spa/rehab”.

The Speaker’s Office declined the opportunity to comment. Sally was not immediately available at the time of going to pixel…

UPDATE: Sally claims she was hacked. Again. Odd given she was tweeting Andrew Pierce at the time…


Seen Elsewhere

Play the Great Clacton By-Election Game! | ConservativeHome
Your Aussie Sheila’s Not Up To It Mr Speaker | Jesse Norman
The Douglas Carswell Shock | Tim Stanley
Carswell is a True Moderniser | Charles Moore
Assembling a New World Order | Henry Kissinger
India’s Modi Bypasses Mainstream Media | Index
Bercow on the Knife Edge | Quentin Letts
Welcome to Mississippi | Conservative Women
LibDems Select Hancock Replacement | Blue Guerilla
Carswell Resigning: “Moment Labour Won Election” | Labour Uncut
Why We Need Change | Douglas Carswell


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Douglas Carswell…

“I stab people in the front, not the back.”



Owen Jones says:

We also need Zil lanes.


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