Monday, September 12, 2011

Full Audio of Natalie Rowe Regarding Osborne / Coke / Coulson

Friday, August 26, 2011

Tory MP’s Model Daughter and the Facebook Mob

Just when the Tories abandoned their plans to ban Facebook, you can bet one backbench MP is cursing social media after a hundred-strong mob crashed his daughter’s party at their £2.25 million home. Neighbours described the event as “very noisy” and “an awful experience”. Kirby has a slender 1,328 majority…

Aspiring model Briony Kirby, daughter of the Tory MP for Brighton Kempton, Simon Kirby, called the coppers as the gatecrashers got out of hand. Her mother, who was on holiday when things got out of hand, told the Mail “These days, you have Facebook and mobile phones. You’re just stumped.” Ban it!

Wednesday, August 24, 2011

Ministry of Pound

The April to June party funding figures are out today and providing something to do during recess for Whitehall correspondents:

Nothing like a little donation to keep the local MP happy with all the noise and drugs around Elephant and Castle… isn’t that right Mr Hughes?

UPDATE: Guido revealed back in 2006 that Simon Hughes ran his leadership bid from the club and is good mates with the owner.

Thursday, August 18, 2011

Phillip Hammond’s Sofa Scandal

In news that doesn’t really shock Guido, he reads today that Phillip Hammond’s rather comfortable ministerial sofa in the Department of Transport was refitted at a cost to the taxpayer of nearly £5,000.

The Standard’s Craig Woodhouse reports that it was apparently cheaper to replace the oatmeal upholstery rather than buy a new set of sofas.

Guido can exclusively confirm, after some in-depth research, that the new comfy material is a rather fetching shade of green…

Wednesday, August 17, 2011

Who Is Peter Thiel?

Peter Thiel has had one of the best reactions to reading Atlas Shrugged that Guido has ever seen. The PayPal founder has poured $1.25m into the Seasteading Institute, which the Mail describes as “an organization that aspires to launch a floating colony into international waters, freeing them and like-minded thinkers to live by Libertarian ideals.”

Though some are already shouting “crazy” at him, Thiel seems pretty confident:

“…there are quite a lot of people who think it’s not possible. That’s a good thing. We don’t need to really worry about those people very much, because since they don’t think it’s possible they won’t take us very seriously. And they will not actually try to stop us until it’s too late.”

Who’s up for Guido Island?

Friday, July 29, 2011

How to Handle a Story

It’s rare that a press release makes Guido laugh. Normally it would take the fake exchange of kind words between a PM and a outgoing Cabinet member, but Louise Mensch’s hit the mark.  This allegation was put to Mensch, née Bagshawe by investigative hack David Jones:

Whilst working at EMI, in the 1990s, you took drugs with Nigel Kennedy at Ronnie Scott’s in Birmingham, including dancing on a dance floor, whilst drunk, with Mr Kennedy, in front of journalists. Photos of this exist.

And the reply:

Although I do not remember the specific incident, this sounds highly probable. I thoroughly enjoyed working with Nigel Kennedy, whom I remember with affection. Additionally, since I was in my twenties, I’m sure it was not the only incident of the kind; we all do idiotic things when young. I am not a very good dancer and must apologise to any and all journalists who were forced to watch me dance that night at Ronnie Scott’s.

Seems to have done the trick…

Wednesday, July 6, 2011

Off To Drink Arianna Dry

With the Adam Smith Institute’s do last night and the Speccie tomorrow, party season is in full swing.  There’s lots of clashes tonight though. Guido was thinking Mitt Romney’s could be fun, but then remembered he’s a Mormon, so doubt there will be much drinking happening there. The Balls’ are having a BBQ tonight for the B-team, but Stoke Newington is a bit of a trek. Looks like it’s going to have to be Arianna’s bash at Millbank. Remember HuffPo writers, that drink tonight is all the payment you are getting…

Tuesday, July 5, 2011

Osbournomics

There are many reasons why the NHS is not the “envy of the world”, but Guido reckons they could have tried a little harder with their token celebrity endorsement for the NHS’s 63rd birthday today. Step forward Ozzy Osbourne. The ageing rocker sings the praises of the organisation, though he seems to have changed his tune from his last public utterances on a medical theme. In 2005 he famously told a crowd in Michigan that he’d been warned not to sing, but “the doctor can go f**k himself”.

Things have been little uncomfortable for Lansley in recent months, but Guido had no idea things were that desperate at Richmond House…

Wednesday, June 29, 2011

Labour’s Ban Comes Home To Roost

Amend the Ban

Given the last Labour government went out of their way to hit pubs and clubs with regulations, duties and, worst of all, the smoking ban, it’s no surprise to see their actions come back to bite them. CR Consulting have found that Labour constituencies are being disproportionately hit  by the pub closures. Though Tory held Westminster suffered the most closures, nine out of the top ten worst hit seats were Labour:

Cities of London and Westminster, Con -99 pubs
Birmingham, Ladywood, Lab -56 pubs
Glasgow Central, Lab -56 pubs
Manchester Central, Lab -49 pubs
Liverpool, Riverside, Lab -45 pubs
Bristol West, LD -39 pubs
Leeds Central, Lab -38 pubs
Edinburgh North and Leith, Lab -34 pubs
Argyll and Bute, LD -32 pubs
Nottingham South, Lab -31 pubs

Guido will be supporting a cause that is very dear to his heart today, the campaign to Save our Pubs and Clubs as they hold a lobby of parliament this afternoon. Labour MPs might want to have a little think about the impact of their actions on their own constituencies…

Tuesday, June 21, 2011

An Unexpected Disinvitation

Summer Party season is upon us. So Guido was shocked and, to be honest, a little hurt when he was told on the phone that he wasn’t to come along to tonight’s book launch for James Macintyre and Mehdi Hasan’s “Ed”.  What did they think Guido was going to do, take the mick? 

The publishers have subsequently emailed to say Guido can come, if he behaves, and doesn’t upset James Macintyre. Unfortunately we have a prior appointment.

Guido is off to the Policy Exchange party to drink Pimms in the sunshine, with the Prime Minister…


Seen Elsewhere

Mock the Week’s Weak Comedy | Nigel Farage
Can Jim Murphy Save Scottish Labour? | Guardian
There is Still Appetite for the Westminster Lunch | Jon Craig
Labour Turn Their Backs on Jewish Community | Dan Hodges
Chivalry is Not Dead | Laura Perrins
Jonathan Jones is a Tw*t | Iain Dale
Second Scotland Poll Suggests Labour Wipeout | Times
Paedo Probe Boss Urged to Quit | Sun
Keynesian Tories Won’t Eliminate Deficit | Tim Montgomerie
Whitehall Doesn’t Work | Dom Cummings
Russell Brand’s Tax Avoidance Firm | Sun


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“Politicians attempt to appeal to the lowest common denominator by posturing with tough policies and calling for crackdown after crackdown. Drugs policy has been failing for decades.”



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