Cameron Watches Glasto on TV in June “In Front of a Warm Fire”

Glastonbury is in June. Maybe he records it and watches it at Christmas…

Sad-Disco Sausage Fest

Young Labour activists were promised some night fever on Friday evening as their mayoral candidate vowed to cut some shapes at a “Sadisqco” party at Bankside. Yet just eight people had turned up by the time Khan arrived. All of them blokes.

More like a Sad-disco.

UPDATE: Sadiq allies get in touch to insist that at least 16 people turned up, including four girls.

Another U-Turn: Poppers Unbanned

Victory for Crispin Blunt as Home Office minister Karen Bradley confirms that the government no longer considers poppers a psychoactive drug:

“I understand that the Council has now advanced its understanding of the psychoactivity of the alkyl nitrites group under the Act and concluded that only substances that directly stimulate or depress the central nervous system are psychoactive under the Act. Having given due consideration, the Government agrees with your advice and interpretation of the definition. We do so in the understanding that “poppers” have these unique indirect effects. Our understanding is that this approach does not have any further implications for the operation of the Act and that other substances that the Act intends to cover are not affected.”

That sound you can hear coming from the parliamentary estate: “Wooooooooooooooo!”

Leadsom and Mordaunt Woo Outers Over Wine

Since he declared for Leave the odds on Boris joining Osborne in a leadership final have shortened, with ambitious colleagues jostling for position. Andrea Leadsom and Penny Mordaunt have both previously been tipped to mount leadership bids, they are both Outers who help run the intriguing ‘Fresh Start’ group of Tory MPs. Curiously the duo have begun hosting weekly drinks dos with Tory backbenchers, inviting “colleagues who are on the ‘leave’ side of the EU debate” to an “informal drop in each Monday evening” at Penny’s office. The “regular” 90 minute long sessions “over a glass of wine” have been a convenient opportunity to woo colleagues, while Leadsom is also having backbenchers round for drinkies at her swish Tufton Court residence. Tonight Penny and Andrea have arranged for Vote Leave to give a talk about strategy and answer questions, naturally “wine and snacks will be served”Boris’ operation, run by Ben Wallace and Nigel Adams, is famously lacking punch…

Strictly Cymru Dancing: Leanne Wood’s Wonderful Waltz

Plaid leader Leanne Wood – her off the TV debates – did a rather lovely bit of ballroom during her Strictly Cymru Dancing fundraiser this weekend. It would’ve got a ten from Len!

Tequila Scammers: Lansman’s Late Night Secret Election

Momentum is supposedly a grassroots organisation run by the people, for the people. So how do they elect their national representatives? Meet Frankie Leach, a 19 year-old International Politics student at Manchester Met. Frankie is also a Momentum activist who spent Saturday night boozing with the group’s boss Jon Lansman.

She tweeted at 1:06 a.m.
tweet 1With picture evidence (that’s Lansman on the right):

tweet 2

3 minutes later at 1:09 a.m., congratulations were in order:
tweet 3

Guido has no idea what happened in those three minutes, but lefty sources claim Lansman went from a tequila slammer to a sham of an election. Just what did the 58 year old silver fox, who appears to drink cider and black, see in Frankie?

Junior Doctors Jet Off on Cut-Price Val d’Isere Junket

Just as well junior doctors called off the second of their three planned strikes, scheduled for this week, because hundreds of them are jetting off to Val d’Isere today. Over the next 72 hours doctors are attending their annual winter conference, which has been held at the premier French ski resort for years. The good news is there are still 133 last-minute tickets left for doctors-in-training, at a reduced rate of £330. Medical students qualify for concessions at £210. It is even tax deductible if attendees present an eight-minute report or short paper.

Lectures include “What it takes to win”, “When things go wrong” and “Being sued”. Though far more exciting are the special offers available:

“Val d’Isere is considered to be the world’s premier ski resort. It offers the best skiing together with lively après ski. There are several ski companies offering special DoctorsUpdates rates for delegates in Val d’isere.”

Wonder if they’ll have any snappers for company at the “lively après ski”…

The trip finishes up on Wednesday with the 25th annual St George’s Cup Slalom Race:

“On the Wednesday we hold the great annual St George’s Cup Slalom Race. The rules of the race are cleverly devised so that skiers of all abilities can take part with an equal chance of success. Every competitor completes two timed runs down the same slalom course. The person whose second time most closely matches their first is the winner. This difference is sometimes as close as hundredths of a second!”

Good to see those £30,000-£70,000 junior doctors’ salaries aren’t going to waste!

Crispin Pleads for Poppers

blunt-poppersThis afternoon could see the the banning of amyl nitrate “poppers” – a psychoactive substance popular in the gay community and with clubbers. Crispin Blunt is worried about the government banning poppers and has emailed fellow MPs:

From: BLUNT, Crispin
Sent: 20 January 2016 13:06
Subject: Psychoactive Substances Bill
Importance: High

Dear all,

This afternoon there may be an amendment moved to support the Home Affairs Select Committee’s recommendation to exempt alkyl nitrates, also known as “poppers” from the Psychoactive Substances Bill. The relative paragraph is 45 of their first report:

“We accept the evidence given by Professor Iversen, the National Aids Trust, and the Gay Men’s Health Collective on alkyl nitrites, also known as ‘poppers’. Professor Iversen said ‘poppers’ were “not seen to be capable of having harmful effects sufficient to constitute a societal problem” and therefore we recommend they should not be banned. If in the future there is any evidence produced to the contrary, then ‘poppers’ should be removed from the exempted list or controlled under the Misuse of Drugs Act”.

I am very concerned about this measure which would have the consequences outlined in paragraph 43 of the Home Affairs Select Committee report.

If amendment 5 is put, I will be voting for it, and I hope Colleagues will join me so that they might at least not be party to a grave error of judgement by the Government.

Yours ever,

Crispin

Guido understands that inhalation of poppers at the point of orgasm results in an extended woooooohhhh!

UPDATE: “I use poppers, I out myself as a popper user, and would be directly affected by this legislation.”

2 Million More Problem Drinkers Created By Government

ALCOHOL-LIMITS

Victory for the public health lobby fun police as the Department of Health announces its intention to lower the recommended limit for alcohol consumption from 21 to 14 units per week for men. For some context, the USA’s limit is […]

+ READ MORE +

Guru Josh R.I.P.

Guido is saddened to hear that Guru Josh (Paul Walden) died in Ibiza on Monday. Back sometime in the ’89-’90 Summer of Love Guru Josh was bringing out a follow-up to his worldwide hit “Infinity” and wanted to do […]

+ READ MORE +

“This Debate Brought to You By…”

ash

Wondering if the debate this afternoon in Westminster Hall on the government’s future smoking strategy tabled by Kevin Barron this afternoon was fair and balanced? Bob Blackman appeared to be giving a speech from notes printed on the fanatical Action […]

+ READ MORE +

Osborne’s Pre-Spending Review Bash Gets Out of Hand

george

Corridor colleagues complain that a party held at George Osborne’s MP office last week got a little out of hand. Not only were empty wine bottles strewn across the floor outside, the landing now stinks of booze and a light-fingered […]

+ READ MORE +



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Quote of the Day

Cameron on Trump:

“I have to say that knowing the gruelling nature of the primaries and what you have to go through, anyone who makes it through that extraordinary contest to lead their party into a general election deserves our respect.”

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