Wednesday, November 12, 2014

Let Them Eat Death Burger

Not content with nannying people about booze and fags, the state is now trying to stop us from eating burgers. Birmingham Public Health childhood obesity co-ordinator Charlene Mulhern, whose job has so far evaded the clutches of ‘austerity’, has called for Hungry House’s double-donut, double-beefburger with melted cheese and smoked streaky bacon to be withdrawn from sale. “We all make mistakes and I would suggest that the Hungry Horse chain has made a mistake here,” moans Matron Mulhern. “It would be refreshing if they had a rethink and decided to withdraw this 2,000-calorie burger from the menu”.

Always an advocate of healthy eating, Guido would point out the high protein content of the £8.99 meal.

More importantly, if idiots want to stuff their faces with death burgers until they have a heart attack, they should be free to do so…

Thursday, November 6, 2014

Blogging May Be Light This Morning…

… As Guido is nursing his hangover from last night’s readers’ party. His memory is slightly hazy, but there are a few things he can remember, remember from this fifth of November’s gunpowder treason and plot…

As the sun set in Westminster, one mysterious figure was spotted heading towards parliament wheeling behind him a suspicious looking barrel:

… As co-conspirators studied plans of parliament in the cellar of the Red Lion:

There was a heavy police presence:

While Boris was the star turn at Guido’s awards party two weeks back, last night Jo Johnson followed his brother:

Either Guido had a bizarre dream, or outside Vivienne Westwood was turned away by the cops. No hippies allowed.

It was the kind of party where the high priests of privatisation from the Adam Smith Institute were arguing amiably over a drink with the Cooperative Party’s policy gurus. Guido’s favourite moment was Miliband’s policy guru Lord (Stewart) Wood and Labour’s head of spin Bob Roberts walking into the crowd of co-conspirators and bolting when asked for selfies. See you next year…

Wednesday, November 5, 2014

Remember, Remember…

Monday, November 3, 2014

Guido Co-Conspirators Drinks Invitation Going Out Tonight

gf10-readers-drinks-tease

We’re having a drinks party for co-conspirators, this Wednesday, which not uncoincidentally is November Fifth. Guidogram subscribers will get the invitation tonight, and numbers are limited. Guido is putting £1,000 behind the bar…

You can subscribe to the Guidogram here. Alcohol in a cellar in Westminster on November Fifth? What could go wrong…

Wednesday, October 22, 2014

We Had a Party, Almost Everyone Came…

Tuesday, October 21, 2014

Soon…

Friday, October 10, 2014

Friday Caption Contest (UKIP Coke Party Edition)

Huge Tory Swing in Bath

Carpet-bagging wannabe MP and renowned bon viveur Ben Howlett has been getting to know his constituency, sampling the delights of Bath’s night-life. These photos were taken at the Po Na Na club, which Guido can confirm from personal experience is a dive. A fellow reveller reports:

“He was wasted and bumping into people, he even said ‘don’t you know who I am’. This was only at 11pm. Lightweight.”

One way of swaying the voters…

Wednesday, September 24, 2014

Guido Had a Bizarre Dream Last Night…

…that he was down the Rover’s Return on Coronation Street when this vaguely familiar face came in and stared at him from the other end of the bar:

Then Guido stumbles out and bumps into Len McCluskey, before having an awkward moment with Owen Jones. “Last night I met Guido, a blogger. He told me…”

Thursday, August 21, 2014

Dave the Rave: Tories Launch Ibiza Branch

Chuka Umunna is not the only politico on Ibiza this summer. The Tories have just launched their own Balearic branch of Conservatives Abroad:

“Ibiza is renowned for attracting the world’s party people and last week was no exception as Conservatives Abroad launched its latest new branch  – Conservatives Abroad Ibiza. Overlooking the secluded bay of Porroig, residents and visitors mingled in the beautiful home and gardens of Charlie and Louise Bracken for cocktails and canapes, generously sponsored by Ibiza-Southerbys.”

How long before Ed Vaizey jets out for a fundraiser?


Seen Elsewhere

Ed the Biggest Loser in Rochester | Trevor Kavanagh
A Just Way to Manage Migration | Mats Persson
Farage is Right | Lord Ashcroft
Give Miliband a Darwin Award | Boris Johnson
Mosley Offered Labour £1 Million | Indy
EU Silences Our Voice | Matt Ridley
Even Ed’s Friends Call Him ‘Bad Luck Magnet’ | Mail
BBC: It Was Guido Wot Won It | MediaGuido
Nick Robinson’s Britain First Selfie | Metro
Dyson: Leave German Dominated EU, Join EFTA |
How UKIP Won Rochester | Seb Payne


Find out more about PLMR AD-MS


Ralph Miliband on the English…

“The Englishman is a rabid nationalist. They are perhaps the most nationalist people in the world.”



Left on Left says:

The lefties are attacking because the panellist is a millionaire and lives in a London home worth upwards of two million. Someone had best tell them he’s called Ed Miliband.


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