Wednesday, October 22, 2014

We Had a Party, Almost Everyone Came…

Tuesday, October 21, 2014

Soon…

Friday, October 10, 2014

Friday Caption Contest (UKIP Coke Party Edition)

Huge Tory Swing in Bath

Carpet-bagging wannabe MP and renowned bon viveur Ben Howlett has been getting to know his constituency, sampling the delights of Bath’s night-life. These photos were taken at the Po Na Na club, which Guido can confirm from personal experience is a dive. A fellow reveller reports:

“He was wasted and bumping into people, he even said ‘don’t you know who I am’. This was only at 11pm. Lightweight.”

One way of swaying the voters…

Wednesday, September 24, 2014

Guido Had a Bizarre Dream Last Night…

…that he was down the Rover’s Return on Coronation Street when this vaguely familiar face came in and stared at him from the other end of the bar:

Then Guido stumbles out and bumps into Len McCluskey, before having an awkward moment with Owen Jones. “Last night I met Guido, a blogger. He told me…”

Thursday, August 21, 2014

Dave the Rave: Tories Launch Ibiza Branch

Chuka Umunna is not the only politico on Ibiza this summer. The Tories have just launched their own Balearic branch of Conservatives Abroad:

“Ibiza is renowned for attracting the world’s party people and last week was no exception as Conservatives Abroad launched its latest new branch  – Conservatives Abroad Ibiza. Overlooking the secluded bay of Porroig, residents and visitors mingled in the beautiful home and gardens of Charlie and Louise Bracken for cocktails and canapes, generously sponsored by Ibiza-Southerbys.”

How long before Ed Vaizey jets out for a fundraiser?

Thursday, August 14, 2014

Baker Junks Junkie Junket

Someone at the Home Office must have been having a laugh at Norman Baker’s expense when they organised for him to go to the V-Festival this weekend to “up the profile” of legal highs. Baker today announced that he is lobbying Jeremy Hunt to consider legalising pot for medicinal purposes, but the party-loving LibDem won’t be getting off his face on Benzo Fury or Black Mamba at the taxpayer’s expense somewhere in a field in Chelmsford. Baker tells Guido:

“It was suggested to me by officials that it might send a good message both to festival organisers and those who attend if I could up the profile of these untested highs, which are dangerous for young people. As it happens, I will be in France on holiday with my wife so no, I won’t be attending.”

Guido has every sympathy…

Monday, August 4, 2014

Tory MP Graham Stuart Raving Video Emerges

Well one Tory MP  is having a mental recess. Gurning Graham Stuart spent his Saturday night at the Humber Street Sesh with monged out fellow revellers dancing to Endoflevelbaddie. For those of you not aquainted with the four piece dance collective: “With the best name in the history of music, Endoflevelbaddie hail from, well, another galaxy probably”:

“Endoflevelbaddie combine massive production, slick visuals, sharp lyrics and a live show second to none. With producer ‘Endoflevelbaddie’, VJ ‘EyeSaw’ drummer ‘Beat ‘em Up’ and MC ‘Player 1’, they cut a striking image in anonymous masks.”

Also cutting a ‘striking image’ was silver-haired shape thrower, Graham, who can be seen below having it large:

Guido approves.

Thursday, July 31, 2014

GOLD: These Were His Salad Days

“Remember we were partners in crime…”

Tuesday, July 22, 2014

Live Like Chuka Umunna at the White House
Only £36,000 for the Summer Holidays!

Click to enlarge

Chuka Umunna is not the only Labour front-bencher to be visiting the White House this summer. For the cheeky sum of £36,000 you can live like the Shadow Business Secretary for a week at Casa Blanca – his family’s villa in Ibiza is available to rent for £1,700-a-week. Unfortunately it is all booked out until September – so Guido will have to wait…

Click above to see inside the ‘spacious, airy’ 3000 square foot San Jose property, which boasts a private pool and is ‘situated within its own 1.5 acre grounds, in an elevated hill-side position. With parking for several cars, the villa is also surrounded by a large, natural pine garden and tiered flowerbeds.’  It’s recommended for a ‘Romantic Getaway’. You too can read “50 Shades of Grey” by the pool with a special friend… all a very long way from his Streatham constituency in south London.

No trashy types please…


Seen Elsewhere

Does Europe Really Want Britain to Quit? | Nick Wood
Immigration Nation | Hopi Sen
Tories Choose Anti-Israel Candidate in Rochester | JC
Osborne’s Daycare Obsession is a Time Bomb | Kathy Gyngell
BBC Marr Pinko Trying to Ban the Queen | Speccie
Eric Hobsbawm: Companion of Dishonour | Standpoint
Guido Party Gossip | Iain Dale
Russell Brand Comes Out as 9/11 Truther | Guardian
Health Revolution is Underway | Fraser Nelson
UKIP Gets Professional | Red Box
Kelly Tolhurst Wins Rochester Open Primary | BBC


VOTER-RECALL
Find out more about PLMR


Austrian Chancellor Werner Faymann on Cameron’s refusal to pay the £1.7 billion EU bill by December 1st:

“Well, then he’s gonna pay on December 2nd”



Mycroft says:

Have you read the last bit of Animal Farm?

You know where the animals are looking through the Farmhouse window?

My TV screen was that window at lunch-time today.

Be careful, the sudden self-congratulatory tone, the slightly pudgy outline of indulgence and you become exactly what you should despise.

The jolly face of the Quisling Cameron poses for your camera has mesmerised and deceived you, you who were once not so deceived.

You were no firebrand, you were a damp squib in my opinion, sorry.

You need a damned good kick up the ahse!


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