Monday, October 6, 2014

“Go F**k Youself” Gordon Petition Reaches 10,000 Signatures

Scottish nationalists have reacted with characteristic charm and good grace to their referendum defeat. The following petition now has more than 10,000 signatures:

According to the petitioner, “because Scotland is sick of listening to your wobble-faced lies, you useless absentee ex-politician sh*tebag”They’ve got 10,000 signatures, and Guido reckons they could get 10,000 more…

Thursday, September 18, 2014

SCOTLAND DECIDES: Declaration Times

Staying up for the long haul tonight? Below are the times we can expect each region to declare their results:

Western Isles: 2.00am
Perth and Kinross: 2.00am
Orkney Islands: 2.00am
North Lanarkshire: 2.00am
Moray: 2.00am
Inverclyde: 2.00am
East Lothian: 2.00am
Clackmannanshire: 2.30am
West Dubartonshire: 3.00am
Stirling: 3.00am
South Lanarkshire: 3.00am
Renfrewshire: 3.00am
Falkirk: 3.00am
East Renfrewshire: 3.00am
East Ayshire: 3.00am
Dundee: 3.00am
Dumfries and Galloway: 3.00am
Angus: 3.00am
Aberdeenshire: 3.00am
West Lothian: 3.30am
South Ayrshire: 3.30am
Shetland Islands: 3.30am
Midlothian: 3.30am
East Dunbartonshire: 3.30am
Argyll and Bute: 3.30am
Highland: 4.00am
Fife: 4.00am
North Ayrshire: 4.30am
Scottish Borders: 5.00am
Glasgow: 5.00am
Edinburgh: 5.00am
Aberdeen: 6.00am

If you’re planning on a few hours shut eye but want to be up for the excitement at the end, set your alarm clock for about 4:30am…

FINAL YOUGOV POLL: No 54%, Yes 46%

Top Tories Vow to Fight Cash for Scots

Rail minister Claire Perry has become the highest profile Tory to threaten to scrap the £1,500-a-head subsidy English taxpayers pay to Scots in the event of a No vote. Perry says:

“Cool, calm analysis, not promises of financial party bags to appease Mr Salmond, are what is needed from tomorrow and onwards. [A No vote must not result in] a whole raft of goodies on offer for Scotland that will be paid for by us south of the border to try to appease the Yes voters.”

John Whittingdale agrees:

“I for one would be very concerned at the idea that my electorate would continue to subsidise the Scots even after they have been given all these powers to raise even more money.”

As does backbencher James Gray, who writes in his local paper:

“I do not agree with the ‘Devo Max’ proposals which the three party leaders seem to be offering. Talk about feeding an addiction. The more you give them, the more they want.. The Barnett Formula, under which every Scottish citizen gets £1,500 per year more spent on him/her than their English counterpart must be swept away with no delay. We want greater powers for the long-suffering people of England.”

The PM will be eternally grateful to them for airing their views on polling day…

FINAL POLL: Ipsos Mori Says No 53%, Yes 47%

Björk Backs Yes

yes-bjork

The lyrics call for a new flag, new currency and protection of indigenous languages and to ignore the patronising.

Funking for freedom…

Andy Murray Endorses Yes During Media Blackout

am-yes

Andy Murray has declared he’s for Yes just hours before the polls open. Crucially though by tweeting his support in the middle of the night, his comments cannot be reported by the broadcasters due to the midnight imposed restrictions of the Representation of the People Act. They also came too late for the dead tree press. 24 hours earlier and this would have been a massive coup for Salmond, though Guido suspects for commercial reasons this was a deliberate move on Murray’s part. 

Meanwhile, the leader of the ‘free’ world is against freedom for Scotland. Guido hasn’t seen independence doing America much harm. Perhaps George III should have deployed the ‘what currency are you going to use’ line instead of sending in the Redcoats. 

Wednesday, September 17, 2014

YouGov/Sun: No 52%, Yes 48%
Survation/Record: No 53%, Yes 47%

scotland_indyref_4box[1]

Ipsos Mori: 51% No, 49% Yes

Taiwan Backs Scottish Freedom

Those crazy Taiwanese video guys have made another video, this time giving us the latest news from Scotland:

“We here in Tawian understand that no amount of false promises are enough to sate the people’s desire for FREEDUM!”


Seen Elsewhere

Tory MP Tells Leftie Jon Snow to Retire | Guardian
Russell Brand’s New Book “Sub-Undergraduate Dross” | Telegraph
Tory MP Barrister Represents Monaco Billionaire | Scrapbook
MOBO Singers Slam UKIP | ITV
Could UKIP Keep Britain in the EU? | Iain Martin
Why Piketty is Wrong | ConHome
Guido Whips Politicians Into Shape | Guardian
Milburn Levelling Down | Kathy Gyngell
Crosby and Carswell Make Friends at Guido’s Dinner | Mail
Mrs Danczuk Beats Mensch to Win Guido | Telegaph
PM Congratulates Blogger Who Destroyed Minister | Mail


VOTER-RECALL
Find out more about PLMR


Rob Colvile reviews Russell Brand’s new book:

“Oddly, the person I feel sorriest for isn’t Brand himself – although he certainly comes across as a rather pitiable figure, projecting his own brokenness on to the world around him – but Johann Hari. Drummed out of Fleet Street for plagiarism, the former Independent columnist has washed up as “my mate Johann, who’s been doing research for this book”. For a genuinely talented polemicist, it would have been a humbling experience to have to treat this sub-undergraduate dross as the scintillating wisdom of a philosopher-king.”



Mycroft says:

Have you read the last bit of Animal Farm?

You know where the animals are looking through the Farmhouse window?

My TV screen was that window at lunch-time today.

Be careful, the sudden self-congratulatory tone, the slightly pudgy outline of indulgence and you become exactly what you should despise.

The jolly face of the Quisling Cameron poses for your camera has mesmerised and deceived you, you who were once not so deceived.

You were no firebrand, you were a damp squib in my opinion, sorry.

You need a damned good kick up the ahse!


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