Freedom for Scotland: “Haggis is Not Terrorism”

 

A campaign has been bubbling below the surface in Westminster of late. One that forges Scot Nats and Tories together in union: freedom for haggis. Since 1971 the USA have banned imports of British offal, and now the Tories have forced it to the top of the TTIP agenda. Tory Chairman Grant Shapps has summed it up nicely: Haggis is not terrorism.

Murphy Slammed for Irn-Bru: “Taxpayers Fizzing With Rage”

The Taxpayers’ Alliance are not impressed with Jim Murphy and his Irn-Bru expenses claims:

“This is ludicrous and will leave taxpayers fizzing with rage. Expenses are supposed to be to help MPs do their job, not for caffeine-heavy refreshments or PR stunts”

Nor are the voters of Scotland:

Nor are SNP Ministers:

So far Murphy’s people have declined the opportunity to comment…

UPDATE: An SNP spokesperson said:

“Labour’s bottle has crashed and this is a further embarrassment for Jim Murphy. Unlike Scotland’s favourite national soft drink – he is neither ‘original’ nor ‘best’.”

Jim On The Run

Jim Murphy has pulled out of a public appearance today, after the McAshcroft poll pointed to a total rout for the party north of the border. Guido is told that Scottish Labour hope to ‘reschedule’ a stunt that would have their leader selling copies of the Big Issue for the day. Jim will have the opportunity to do so full time at this rate…

Meanwhile, here is the party’s mature response to utter Caledonian clusterf*ck. You would never have thought they’re a bunch of former NUS chumps:

Yeah, retreat to that comfort zone. That will solve everything.

Legacy Hague: I’ve Solved the West Lothian Question, Sorta

William Hague sensationally claimed to have finally solved the West Lothian question in a snoozefest speech in Westminster this morning. He inserted a hefty caveat, however…

The Tory plan that would be put to Parliament in the case of a majority is apparently a “non-symmetrical” solution. In other words it is unbalanced. In other words it is a not a solution to the age old riddle.

Guido pointed out afterwards that Hague’s old flatmate and colleague Sir Alan Duncan claims that the Tories do not understand vast parts of the UK including Scotland, and given that they are on the brink of a fourth consecutive wipeout north of the border, didn’t he have a point? Hague responded saying the Tories were “aiming” for significantly more than their current single seat in Scotland. He did not say, however, that he believed they would achieve that ambitious goal. Which all but proves Dunky’s point…

RED ON RED: Audio of Murphy v Abbott Mansion Tax Bunfight

Jim Murphy’s mansion tax raid on London to fund nurses in Scotland has descended into an almighty slanging match with Diane Abbott. The Hackney MP couldn’t even remember the Scottish Labour leader’s name on Wato today:

“I am very surprised John Murphy is making these boasts… Jim Murphy can’t surely mean he is going to expropriate money from London to Scotland… he is jumping the gun in an unscrupulous way.”

Murphy hit back:

“It’s hard to take this argument seriously when she can’t even remember my name… I am leader of the Scottish Labour party, not Diane. I don’t have to consult Diane Abbott… I don’t have to clear things with Ed Miliband.”

Shots fired!

Did SNP Plan to Scrap APD Nudge Osborne?

Air Passenger Duty may generate £3.2 billion a year for the Treasury, but Guido wonders why George doesn’t just go out on a wing and get rid of the tax altogether. It would hardly be terminal for the UK economy – a projected fall in the deficit of £6.2 billion by 2015 would more than cover the cost to the Exchequer and the move would encourage more flights into to the UK.

There was a growing problem on the APD front too – all the evidence seems to suggest that the SNP are going to remove APD altogether on Scottish flights – creating competition from north of the border to Newcastle Airport in the soon-to-be Northern Powerhouse. That could be what made the idea fly…

Sturgeon’s Hopes Plunge With Oil

oil-plunge-hits-snp

When Scotland’s First Minister Nicola Sturgeon was challenged by Murnaghan on Sky this morning about falling oil prices she claimed “the projection is that oil prices will be over $100 a barrel next year … the outlooks in the sector are very, very positive ones.” She has to believe that, the SNP’s whole economic strategy depends on high oil prices…

Oil closed on Friday at $70 a barrel, the forward futures price is no higher than $80 a barrel for delivery every month next year. She might be selling snake oil, but no one is buying oil above $100 next year…

Salmond’s Stone of Destiny

Alex Salmond is on a little farewell tour as First Minister, unveiling his “legacy stone” at Heriot Watt University, near Edinburgh:

“Rocks would melt with the sun before I allow tuition fees to be imposed on Scotland’s students”

He’s a big fan of the Burns quote, using it again only a couple of months ago to say: “Rocks would melt with the sun before I’d ever set foot in the House of Lords”.

What better way to remember a politician with an inflated sense of self-importance than chiselling his quote into a naff piece of masonry?

Via STV’s Claire Stewart

Lord Barnett R.I.P. : Bury His Formula With Him

Lord Barnett has passed away. His formula outlives him, something of which he did not approve. Giles Dilnot’s interview makes Joel’s view clear…[…]

Labour Drinking Murphy Kool Aid: He’s Our Santos

They’re really starting to drink the Jim Murphy kool-aid if Nick Watt’s Guardian profile is anything to go by:

“Nyta Clarke, who came to know Murphy during her time working in Blair’s Downing Street, thought he had a touch of

[…]

Murphy Has a Mountain to Climb

Potential Scottish Labour leaders are dropping like flies. Gordon’s out, Anus is out and even the continuity-Lamont candidate Kezia Dugdale is out. Margaret Curran – who knifed her old best friend – is suspiciously quiet, but the bookies are eyeing  […]

“Go F**k Youself” Gordon Petition Reaches 10,000 Signatures

Scottish nationalists have reacted with characteristic charm and good grace to their referendum defeat. The following petition now has more than 10,000 signatures:

According to the petitioner, “because Scotland is sick of listening to your wobble-faced lies, you useless absentee […]



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Quote of the Day

Adam Spiegel, producer of Nazi themed “The Producers” musical says…

“Margate seemed a perfect place to start the promotion. I’m disappointed but not entirely surprised to see that UKIP are trying to hitch a publicity ride on the back of the show.”

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