Salmond Orders Pink, Causes Stink

The former First Minister sat down to be interviewed by the Staggers‘ Jason Cowley and ordered a bottle of pink champagne, which reminded Guido of this picture. Meanwhile, Salmond also appears to have shot down any hope the Tories had on relying on SNP numbers post May 7:

“The Tories would have to go straight effectively for a vote of confidence, usually the Queen’s Speech, although it could be otherwise, of course, and we’d be voting against. So if Labour joins us in that pledge, then that’s Cameron locked out.”

Salmond confirmed the SNP would instead do a deal with Labour:

“I think… probable would be vote-by-vote [support for Labour], and possible would be confidence and supply. This arrangement is . . . a narrow range of policies, and a narrow range of supported votes, obviously: that’s confidence and supply. And then in turn, of course, there has to be an agreed number of policies . . . not like the full coalition, where you take responsibility for every dot and comma, but a narrow range of policies, in return for which you make it possible for the government to function – over a period of time.”

Shouldn’t he run that by Nicola Sturgeon first…

Labour Big Hitter in Court For Assault

Marie Rimmer, 68, is the Labour candidate defending Shaun Woodward’s 14,000 majority in St Helens South. She is also in court this morning accused of kicking a woman at a polling station.

Glasgow Sheriff Court - Marie Rimmer - Court 6

Rowdy Rimmer was charged with assaulting a Yes activist in Glasgow as Scots went to the polls in September. In a remarkable pre-campaign prophecy, Woodward praised Rimmer on her nomination as “a real fighter”. Will the voters boot her out in May?

Glue Labour, Glue Danger

Jim Murphy has had been forced to deny rumours he sniffed glue as a youth. After the Scottish Labour leader said he ‘couldn’t remember’ if he had tried it, his spokesman claimed he nae honked:

“Just to be clear, Mr Murphy has never taken drugs. The point he was making at the Glasgow University debate was that when he was growing up drugs weren’t as widespread and that the harmful thing for many people back then was glue sniffing. For the record that’s not something Mr Murphy has tried either.”

An allegation like that could really stick.

“Blackbusters” Calamity Kenny Set for Westminster Return

There are fewer “safe seats” in Scotland for Labour than they might like these days, but if they lose Mid-Lothian then they really have been routed.

Luckily they’ve chosen a candidate there to give them the maximum possible chance of screwing it all up: Calamity Kenny

Congratulations to Kenny Young who was selected last night.

As Guido revealed he would be in January.

Freedom for Scotland: “Haggis is Not Terrorism”

 

A campaign has been bubbling below the surface in Westminster of late. One that forges Scot Nats and Tories together in union: freedom for haggis. Since 1971 the USA have banned imports of British offal, and now the Tories have forced it to the top of the TTIP agenda. Tory Chairman Grant Shapps has summed it up nicely: Haggis is not terrorism.

Murphy Slammed for Irn-Bru: “Taxpayers Fizzing With Rage”

The Taxpayers’ Alliance are not impressed with Jim Murphy and his Irn-Bru expenses claims:

“This is ludicrous and will leave taxpayers fizzing with rage. Expenses are supposed to be to help MPs do their job, not for caffeine-heavy refreshments or PR stunts”

Nor are the voters of Scotland:

Nor are SNP Ministers:

So far Murphy’s people have declined the opportunity to comment…

UPDATE: An SNP spokesperson said:

“Labour’s bottle has crashed and this is a further embarrassment for Jim Murphy. Unlike Scotland’s favourite national soft drink – he is neither ‘original’ nor ‘best’.”

Jim On The Run

Jim Murphy has pulled out of a public appearance today, after the McAshcroft poll pointed to a total rout for the party north of the border. Guido is told that Scottish Labour hope to ‘reschedule’ a stunt that would have their leader selling copies of the Big Issue for the day. Jim will have the opportunity to do so full time at this rate…

Meanwhile, here is the party’s mature response to utter Caledonian clusterf*ck. You would never have thought they’re a bunch of former NUS chumps:

Yeah, retreat to that comfort zone. That will solve everything.

Legacy Hague: I’ve Solved the West Lothian Question, Sorta

William Hague sensationally claimed to have finally solved the West Lothian question in a snoozefest speech in Westminster this morning. He inserted a hefty caveat, however…

The Tory plan that would be put to Parliament in the case of a majority is apparently a “non-symmetrical” solution. In other words it is unbalanced. In other words it is a not a solution to the age old riddle.

Guido pointed out afterwards that Hague’s old flatmate and colleague Sir Alan Duncan claims that the Tories do not understand vast parts of the UK including Scotland, and given that they are on the brink of a fourth consecutive wipeout north of the border, didn’t he have a point? Hague responded saying the Tories were “aiming” for significantly more than their current single seat in Scotland. He did not say, however, that he believed they would achieve that ambitious goal. Which all but proves Dunky’s point…

RED ON RED: Audio of Murphy v Abbott Mansion Tax Bunfight

Jim Murphy’s mansion tax raid on London to fund nurses in Scotland has descended into an almighty slanging match with Diane Abbott. The Hackney MP couldn’t even remember the Scottish Labour leader’s name on Wato today:

“I am very surprised

[…]

+ READ MORE +

Did SNP Plan to Scrap APD Nudge Osborne?

Air Passenger Duty may generate £3.2 billion a year for the Treasury, but Guido wonders why George doesn’t just go out on a wing and get rid of the tax altogether. It would hardly be terminal for the UK economy […]

+ READ MORE +

Sturgeon’s Hopes Plunge With Oil

oil-plunge-hits-snp

When Scotland’s First Minister Nicola Sturgeon was challenged by Murnaghan on Sky this morning about falling oil prices she claimed “the projection is that oil prices will be over $100 a barrel next year … the outlooks in the sector […]

+ READ MORE +

Salmond’s Stone of Destiny

Alex Salmond is on a little farewell tour as First Minister, unveiling his “legacy stone” at Heriot Watt University, near Edinburgh:

“Rocks would melt with the sun before I allow tuition fees to be imposed on Scotland’s students”

He’s a […]

+ READ MORE +



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Quote of the Day

David Cameron tells MPs after voting:

“Wouldn’t miss this for the world. Secret ballots very important. Remember the Chartists.”

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