Tuesday, January 6, 2015

RED ON RED: Audio of Murphy v Abbott Mansion Tax Bunfight

Jim Murphy’s mansion tax raid on London to fund nurses in Scotland has descended into an almighty slanging match with Diane Abbott. The Hackney MP couldn’t even remember the Scottish Labour leader’s name on Wato today:

“I am very surprised John Murphy is making these boasts… Jim Murphy can’t surely mean he is going to expropriate money from London to Scotland… he is jumping the gun in an unscrupulous way.”

Murphy hit back:

“It’s hard to take this argument seriously when she can’t even remember my name… I am leader of the Scottish Labour party, not Diane. I don’t have to consult Diane Abbott… I don’t have to clear things with Ed Miliband.”

Shots fired!

Wednesday, December 3, 2014

Did SNP Plan to Scrap APD Nudge Osborne?

Air Passenger Duty may generate £3.2 billion a year for the Treasury, but Guido wonders why George doesn’t just go out on a wing and get rid of the tax altogether. It would hardly be terminal for the UK economy – a projected fall in the deficit of £6.2 billion by 2015 would more than cover the cost to the Exchequer and the move would encourage more flights into to the UK.

There was a growing problem on the APD front too – all the evidence seems to suggest that the SNP are going to remove APD altogether on Scottish flights – creating competition from north of the border to Newcastle Airport in the soon-to-be Northern Powerhouse. That could be what made the idea fly…

Sunday, November 30, 2014

Sturgeon’s Hopes Plunge With Oil

oil-plunge-hits-snp

When Scotland’s First Minister Nicola Sturgeon was challenged by Murnaghan on Sky this morning about falling oil prices she claimed “the projection is that oil prices will be over $100 a barrel next year … the outlooks in the sector are very, very positive ones.” She has to believe that, the SNP’s whole economic strategy depends on high oil prices…

Oil closed on Friday at $70 a barrel, the forward futures price is no higher than $80 a barrel for delivery every month next year. She might be selling snake oil, but no one is buying oil above $100 next year…

Tuesday, November 18, 2014

Salmond’s Stone of Destiny

Alex Salmond is on a little farewell tour as First Minister, unveiling his “legacy stone” at Heriot Watt University, near Edinburgh:

“Rocks would melt with the sun before I allow tuition fees to be imposed on Scotland’s students”

He’s a big fan of the Burns quote, using it again only a couple of months ago to say: “Rocks would melt with the sun before I’d ever set foot in the House of Lords”.

What better way to remember a politician with an inflated sense of self-importance than chiselling his quote into a naff piece of masonry?

Via STV’s Claire Stewart

Monday, November 3, 2014

Lord Barnett R.I.P. : Bury His Formula With Him

Lord Barnett has passed away. His formula outlives him, something of which he did not approve. Giles Dilnot’s interview makes Joel’s view clear…

Friday, October 31, 2014

Labour Drinking Murphy Kool Aid: He’s Our Santos

They’re really starting to drink the Jim Murphy kool-aid if Nick Watt’s Guardian profile is anything to go by:

“Nyta Clarke, who came to know Murphy during her time working in Blair’s Downing Street, thought he had a touch of stardust, reminding her of Matt Santos, the fictional young congressman in the final episodes of The West Wing who retires in frustration with politics, only to be persuaded to make a successful bid for the presidency.“I thought Jim was our Matt Santos because he is both fiercely intelligent and hugely personable,” Clarke says, adding: “Jim has a very nice manner with people. He is a very modest person and it is not a fake modesty. He is also very brave, as he proved with his 100-town tour.” Santos is, like Murphy, a Catholic. Murphy said in 2011 that he did not believe the UK was ready to elect a Catholic as prime minister, though he hopes that Scotland will be ready to elect a Catholic first minister in 2016.”

So Murphy is apparently “our Santos”. The charming, funny, witty, personable, fictional and, err, Hispanic presidential winner in a TV show lionised by political nerds. Slurp! 

Tuesday, October 28, 2014

Murphy Has a Mountain to Climb

Potential Scottish Labour leaders are dropping like flies. Gordon’s out, Anus is out and even the continuity-Lamont candidate Kezia Dugdale is out. Margaret Curran – who knifed her old best friend – is suspiciously quiet, but the bookies are eyeing  up Jim Murphy.

It’s going to be an interesting narrative for the Catholic right-winger to shape if he’s to get the job that nobody wants. Firstly he’s a teetotal vegetarian. Which is sure to endear him to the Scottish populace. Perhaps he’s making  up for the time he had scurvy.

And then there are his school days. Will left-wing opponents argue that his going to a racially segregated school is worse than being an old Etonian? Murphy is an old boy of Milnerton High School, the segregated private school in Cape Town that Murphy attended when his family chose to emigrate to apartheid South Africa in 1979. Other notable alumni include Dr. Wouter Basson – nicknamed Dr Death – the former head of South Africa’s secret chemical and biological warfare project, Project Coast.

But worse than all this, in the eyes of the Labour Party: Murphy is a Blairite.

Monday, October 6, 2014

“Go F**k Youself” Gordon Petition Reaches 10,000 Signatures

Scottish nationalists have reacted with characteristic charm and good grace to their referendum defeat. The following petition now has more than 10,000 signatures:

According to the petitioner, “because Scotland is sick of listening to your wobble-faced lies, you useless absentee ex-politician sh*tebag”They’ve got 10,000 signatures, and Guido reckons they could get 10,000 more…

Thursday, September 18, 2014

SCOTLAND DECIDES: Declaration Times

Staying up for the long haul tonight? Below are the times we can expect each region to declare their results:

Western Isles: 2.00am
Perth and Kinross: 2.00am
Orkney Islands: 2.00am
North Lanarkshire: 2.00am
Moray: 2.00am
Inverclyde: 2.00am
East Lothian: 2.00am
Clackmannanshire: 2.30am
West Dubartonshire: 3.00am
Stirling: 3.00am
South Lanarkshire: 3.00am
Renfrewshire: 3.00am
Falkirk: 3.00am
East Renfrewshire: 3.00am
East Ayshire: 3.00am
Dundee: 3.00am
Dumfries and Galloway: 3.00am
Angus: 3.00am
Aberdeenshire: 3.00am
West Lothian: 3.30am
South Ayrshire: 3.30am
Shetland Islands: 3.30am
Midlothian: 3.30am
East Dunbartonshire: 3.30am
Argyll and Bute: 3.30am
Highland: 4.00am
Fife: 4.00am
North Ayrshire: 4.30am
Scottish Borders: 5.00am
Glasgow: 5.00am
Edinburgh: 5.00am
Aberdeen: 6.00am

If you’re planning on a few hours shut eye but want to be up for the excitement at the end, set your alarm clock for about 4:30am…

FINAL YOUGOV POLL: No 54%, Yes 46%


Seen Elsewhere

Users of Gay Hook-Up App Grindr Infected | TechnoGuido
ISIS Raising Funds Online Using Bitcoin | TechnoGuido
UKIP’s Youth Challenge | BBC
ISIS Operative: This Is How We Send Jihadis To Europe | BuzzFeed
Shapps Defends Bashir Defection | Seb Payne
Tory Leadership Contenders Jostle Over Europe | Alex Wickham
Cutting Taxes is Good For You | Art Laffer
Suspects Will Now Have to Prove Innocence | Laura Perrins
Labour Cllr: Cops Shouldn’t Stop Petrol Thieves | HandF Forum
Creeping Cultural Acceptance of Anti-Semitism | Eric Pickles
Time For Greece to Leave Eurozone | Allister Heath


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Find out more about PLMR AD-MS


Boris on British Jihadis. Apparently based on MI5 intel:

“If you look at all the psychological profiling about bombers, they typically will look at porn. They are literally w***ers. Severe onanists. They are tortured. They will be very badly adjusted in their relations with women, and that is a symptom of their feeling of being failures and that the world is against them. They are not making it with girls, and so they turn to other forms of spiritual comfort — which of course is no comfort.”


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