UKIP’s David Coburn Pranked

Legendary comical ‘Kipper David Coburn tried his hand at live broadcasting app Periscope during the Scottish leaders’ debates last night. Unfortunately Davey was sabotaged by his mischievous audience, who conspired to tell him his sound wasn’t working. Little did he know we could hear everything he was saying…

Via Daily Record

Ruth Rules Herself Out: “I’ve Got No Interest in the Job”

Some optimistic Tories hope Ruth Davidson might at some point make her way to down to Westminster via a by-election, leaving her open to run for the leadership. The Lobby consensus following her smashing conference speech last year was that it marked the beginning of a bid for the top job. Yet Ruth tells the Daily Politics it’s not going to happen:

“I will rule myself out, absolutely, I’ve got no interest in the job.”

Ruth doesn’t want to come down to fight an English seat, but if she could become an MP in Scotland…

Carmichael Gets Off: Cybernats React

Alistair Carmichael, who told voters he knew nothing of the infamous ‘Sturgeon memo’ before admitting he was actually responsible for leaking it, has been cleared by an election court. So no by-election in Orkney and Shetland despite the massive porkie. At least the Cybernats are handling it with their usual charm and good grace…

No trip to sunny Shetland for Lobby hacks next year either…

Pressure Mounts on SNP to Suspend ‘Missing Money’ MP

The SNP wasted no time in throwing their disgraced MP Michelle Thomson under a bus during her property scandal back in September. The allegations surfacing against Natalie McGarry yesterday have also warranted a police investigation, so Scottish Labour have demanded consistency from Nicola Sturgeon:

Dear Nicola,

The allegations about missing donations to Women for Independence (WFI) are very concerning. The alleged involvement of the SNP MP Natalie McGarry only adds to the seriousness of this situation.

When details emerged about the police investigation into property deals involving the SNP MP Michelle Thomson you said: “There is now a police investigation under way into these matters… Michelle Thomson has decided to step aside from the SNP while that investigation is undertaken. I think that is the right thing for her to have opted to do.”

Given that it was right that Michelle Thomson’s membership of the SNP was suspended during a police investigation, can you confirm that it is also right that the same standard will now apply to Natalie McGarry? People in Scotland would be surprised if no precautionary action is taken against Ms McGarry, given the serious nature of the allegations and the involvement of the police.

Sturgeon said it was right for Thomson to stand down because she was being questioned as part of a police investigation. Well, now McGarry is facing a police probe as well. Will she last the day?

Breaking Bad: Crystal Meth and the Campaign to Save the Union

breaking bad

A new book, Project Fear“, telling the story of the Better Together organisation’s campaign to keep Scotland in the Union is released today and it contains some corking anecdotes about the backstage chaos. One of the revelations is that they intended to launch an ad campaign themed after the hit show Breaking Bad. The series tells the story of a dying chemistry teacher’s journey from middle aged family man to crystal meth-making drug lord. The above image is a genuine advert they intended to run…

Unsurprisingly, using a TV show about drugs to convince Scots to vote no created divisions in the Better Together team. Some people, desperate to create a viral image, were enthusiastic about the idea, while others were scathing. One politician is understood to have raged upon seeing it, “This is about drugs! Don’t you understand?“.

The final nail in the Breaking Bad coffin came when the campaign bombed in focus groups; people who did understand the reference saw it as a sneering English caricature of a Trainspotting image of Scotland as a haven for drugs. Stay out of my territory…

Click to buy – Project Fear: How an Unlikely Alliance Left a Kingdom United but a Country Divided

Mhairi Black’s Maiden Speech in Full

The 20 year old Baby of the House delivers her maiden speech:

“Because I am an MP, I am the only 20 year-old in the whole of the UK who the Chancellor is prepared to help with housing.” 

A star is born…

Murphy Rages Against the ‘Infernal Machine’

Jim Murphy is giving his valedictory speech at Policy Exchange this lunchtime.

He’s got some choice words for the Tories, and goes surprisingly easy on Miliband:

David Cameron seized the time and was out on the morning after the referendum to make an announcement about English Votes for English Laws. At 2am on referendum night I was in the BBC studio to be told by Michael Gove that the Prime Minster would unveil his plans that morning. Instead of travelling to Scotland to celebrate and thank Scotland he did the opposite.

His aim?

To create a grievance to engender an English nationalism.

He failed initially.

But then he succeeded beyond his wildest ambition.

The SNP seized on Camerons actions as proof of the bad faith of Westminster and used it to bind the Yes vote together.

The full force of this wasnt felt until the short campaign.

But an infernal machine had been created in which the threat of the SNP holding the balance of power at Westminster fuelled an English backlash which in turn added to some non-nationalist Scottish voters who last year voted No then voted for the SNP last month.

Of course, Labour’s wipeout was nothing to do with taking the heartland for granted for decades, completely miscalculating why people were voting SNP, poisoning the well themselves and letting Gordon Brown run the Scottish Labour Party for thirty years. Nope, still the evil Tor-ees.

David Starkey: SNP Prove Democracy Does Not Work

Starkey is not backing down on his SNP = Nazis thesis…

Jon Stewart Compares Sturgeon to Saddam Hussein

JS: The SNP won 56 out of 59 seats… it was unprecedented.

NS: I’ve ordered an inquiry into how come we didn’t win those other three. It reports directly to me.

JS: Those other three? You think you’re Saddam Hussein? You want 99%.

[…]

+ READ MORE +

‘Eck-Rated: Salmond’s Mile High Nose Dig

The former First Minister was filmed digging for victory by a fellow passenger on a flight down from Aberdeen. In all he spends over a minute picking, inspecting and picking again:

Readers can make their minds up about whether his finger then went to his mouth:

Living up to his reputation as Westminster’s bogeyman…

Via Dawn Sutherland
[…]

+ READ MORE +

Alex Salmond #EverydaySexism

Alex Salmond risks life and limb telling Anna Soubry:

“The Treasury bench should behave better in these debates, she should be setting an example to your new members not cavorting about like some demented junior minister – behave yourself, woman.”

A brave choice of opponent…

UPDATE: Soubs hits back with one of her tamer remarks:

[…]

+ READ MORE +

Why Are the SNP Wearing White Roses?

Invoking the glorious ’45, the 56 SNP MPs have turned up to the Queen’s Speech wearing white roses: the Jacobite symbol.

As the Queen visits Parliament, they seem to be calling for the restoration of the House of Stuart:

[…]

+ READ MORE +

Sports and Social is SNP’s Next Target

It’s not just Labour’s traditional seats in the Commons that the SNP are after, now the nationalist horde are coming for their favourite bar. The taxpayer-subsidised Sports and Social Club is popular with Labour MPs and their visiting trade union brothers, earning it the nickname “The Sports and Socialist”, but change is coming. […]

+ READ MORE +

Friday Caption Contest (Salmond Champagne Edition)

Entries in the comments below.

The winner of this week will get their hands on the #EdStone:

Well a 3D printed version of it, thanks to our friends at CEL[…]

+ READ MORE +

Top Brown Ally to Murphy: Get Oot

Dear Jim

I am writing to you to advise that I am, from this morning, standing down from the position as Labour’s spokesperson for Local Government and Community Empowerment in the Scottish Parliament.

I said yesterday at the meeting of Labour MSPs that I thought your speech on Friday stating that you would stay on and lead Labour into the 2016 election was a mistake, and that it would also be a mistake for the team you put in place, including your Chief of Staff, to remain in post.

[…]

+ READ MORE +

Rich’s Monday Morning View

[…]

+ READ MORE +



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Quote of the Day

Sky’s Faisal Islam on the mood in Parliament at the moment:

“It’s a totally febrile atmosphere here. It’s kind of like Game of Thrones meets House of Cards – and if you chuck in the Labour Party – Laurel and Hardy too.”

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