Here’s a line Guido has been waiting to write for a long time - the New Statesman’s James Macintyre has been fired.

As regular readers will know Guido has had a less than cordial relationship with the thirsty sidekick of Derek Draper. There are two different versions of events as to what happened after the Statesman’s Labour Party Conference bash. Macintyre claims he was mugged on the way home, but witnesses say he was paralytic. Either way he didn’t wake up with his work laptop or phone. He was put on leave, but has now finally been shown the door after months of humiliating errors and dud stories.

In honour of his departure Guido thought he would list of some James’s Greatest Hits:

How can anyone forget when he called Michael Kaminski, the current leader the Tory ECR group of MEPs, a neo-nazi, on camera? Or when he accused the whole Conservatives of being institutionally racist? What about that time he got the Staggers sued for some serious cash by Daniel Hannan for equally outrageous claims?

There have also been some fantastic quotes from the widely respected journalist. By far the greatest must be those that showed his incredible foresight:

“With a few exceptions, the dark briefings by ministers against other ministers within Labour went away with the departure from Number Ten of Tony Blair”

He was destroyed by the Tory bloggers during the election after making up a story about them based on a menu he found. He also called the election for Labour:

“a small overall majority for Labour is the most likely outcome”

Guido has had some hilarious run ins, such as the time young James accused him of working for the Intelligence Services. Guido was particularly proud of of his put down.

Who could forget the his email chain with his former “close friend” Derek Draper about the cuteness of boys and girls, and the drunken denial of an unasked question at Tory Conference in Manchester 2008:

“I did not have sex with Derek Draper”

One of the final straws that broke the camel’s back must have been his calling of the Labour leadership for Diane Abbott. Presumably post lunch.

It is not known at this time whether he has finally got that job he coveted so much with Ed Miliband…

The rumour going round conference about two MPs in a punch up are a little wide of the mark, but things certainly got heated in the Hyatt bar at around 2 in the morning. What is clear is that Chris Pincher, MP for Tamworth had to rescue fellow MP andwhip Marc Francois who was being collared and shoved by the new MP for Hendon Matthew Offord. In the fracas Francois’ lanyard was torn from his neck. Offord had been drinking scotch…

Not the best career move, but allegedly a woman was involved. It’s all denials this morning but three separate witnesses have remarkably similar stories…

To Liverpool’s Gusto restaurant on Tuesday night where the great and good of the BBC political team were loudly dining. Guido’s scouser eyes and ears spotted the full house of  Nick Robinson, Laura Kuenssberg, Jon Sopel and James Landsdale.

Having told  the waiter that he couldn’t drink anymore because he had to go to work, Robinson darted out at 9.50 to do his piece for the 10 o’clock news, but not before speaking with Laura, furiously scribbling down what she said. 10 minutes later her phone rings and she leapt up and went outside. Apparently it was Nick on the phone asking what he should say, hic, again…

The combination of a hangover and Clegg seems to have got the better of Charles Kennedy. Citing a “late train” he pulled out of various events yesterday and was nowhere to be seen at this morning’s Guardian fringe event. And now thanks to the irreplaceable EyeSpy.MP we learn that Charlie boy is already on the way back to London without sticking around for a his leader’s speech. Hardly a ringing endorsement…

While she may be getting regular slots on Sky News and the Today program, “freelance journalist and Labour Party activist” Sally Bercow must know she has really made it when Chinese news channels are animating her colourful past…

Can anyone translate?

Fraser Nelson writes of Charlie Kennedy…

“With most of his LibDem mates in government, he’s run out of drinking partners. So he ends up getting all maudlin with Labour MPs. I’m told that the “talks” with Labour are 2 a.m. moans. And that the only defection being considered is from Glenfiddich to Glenmorangie. Kennedy is a gifted, articulate politician who didn’t apply himself. If he’s going to cross the floor, he needs to be able to do it in a straight line.”

Interviewers love nothing more than illustrating how out of touch politicians are with reality and their constituents by asking questions like “How much is a pint of milk”? only for them to answer £2 to our amusement.

Graphic lifted from Political Scrapbook

Yesterday, in an unforced error, Dave told the Manchester Evening News “I think if what you’re trying to do is stop supermarkets from selling 20 tins of Stella for a fiver, that’s what we’ve got to go after” in his relentless quest to punish the poor drinking classes. As it happens Guido has been known to drink the odd Stella and would really appreciate knowing where Dave gets his for 25p a can, it is more like 50p or more from Sainsbury’s on special offer.

As it happens Channel 4′s FactCheck says you can get own-brand equivalents for as little as 22p. Anyone know if they are drinkable? Just askin..

Dave took the time to launch his vision of the ‘Big Society’ just ahead of the parliamentary recess. Beneath the Obama-lite rhetoric and calls for a legion of volunteers to run services was a message: it’s time to cut back the state and let individuals take control of their own lives.  So far, so good. But can the Tories resist the urge to centralise and regulate now that they are in power?

Behind the paywall at The Times, Deputy Mayor of London Kit Malthouse has been expounding on the ‘need’ for state intervention to combat alcohol consumption. The chief of the Met Police authority suggests twice daily alcohol testing for problem drinkers with “intensive monitoring and enforcement to ensure compliance”.

He gleefully explains what happens to those who dare breach a prohibition order in a similar scheme run in the backwoods of South Dakota: “The sanction is immediate and certain – straight into the cells, no argument, no court, no lawyers.” Very ominous.

If Malthouse persists with his plan then Guido knows just the location to try out the new policy: a little upstream from City Hall, at a place where subsidised booze flows freely, disorder is common and employees are regularly drunk while at work. It’s hard to imagine that heavy-drinking MP’s would take kindly to being breathalysed.

Summer party season is in full swing, but you would think there would be some coordination with diaries. Although there are a limited number of days before the MPs jet off for the holidays, crowds will be dissipated tonight. Village dwellers have the choice between 18.00 and 20.00 of the ComRes and Apex Communications gig, Total Politics and Weber Shandwick’s new Members reception, The Adam Smith Institute book launch, a Big Brother Watch party and Conservative Way Forward’s summer party with Maggie. There will be some sore heads tomorrow…

Rather than dash around Westminster trying to get to all of these, Guido thinks he will just save himself for a slightly more exclusive party later. He is hoping lots of other Ed Balls fans join him at Blinky’s little party that is going on tonight. Apparently there will be a chat about how the campaign is going, which hopefully won’t dampen the mood too much. Drinks will be served from 20.30 in Norman Shaw South, Rm 102. Hope there are nibbles…

Hidden subsidies cost the taxpayers millions of pounds in order to finance the lifestyles of MPs, yet the fearless political reporters of the Lobby don’t seem too keen on reporting this hidden subsidy. Could it be because they too enjoy the taxpayer subsidised bars of the Parliamentary Estate?

The Speaker says he wants to bring prices in to line with High Street prices. In another piece of evidence based blogging you won’t see in the newspapers Guido has been fearlessly investigating what exactly are the prevailing market conditions around Westminster.

As the chart below shows, the average price of a pint of a Guinness is £3.45.  MPs pay a mere £2.20 for a pint and the taxpayers make up the difference. Prices would have to rise 57% for them to match what the public pays in and around the Westminster area. They still know how to look after themselves don’t they?

MPs have no excuse for this subsidy and last Tuesday’s scenes of mass drunkeness hardly reflect well on Parliament. The first thing they should do to discourage that sort of behaviour is put the prices up to market rates, cheap drink has after all literally been their downfall. In these austere times of public sector cutbacks is it simply not justifiable for MPs to expect us to subsidise their drinking. Time please, drink up gentlemen, lets be having you…