Axelrod and Miliband in the Sights at Punchy PLP

Guido hears that David Axelrod came under attack at a heated meeting of the Parliamentary Labour Party last night, where tempers frayed over the “disastrous direction” of Labour’s election campaign. Labour MPs sobbing into their bitter late into the night in Strangers, as reality dawned on them…

Apparently things got really gloomy when Scotland was discussed, but it was the general campaign that was the main cause for concern. “It’s said we are paying for all these experts but it’s clearly not working” sums up the general thrust of the complaints, and demands were made for more control of the party’s messaging and strategy to given to elected MPs rather than leader’s pets and expensive – yet absent -American consultants. Wishful thinking…

Ed’s Teenage Wild Child Years

Fresh from wowing everyone with his CV, Ed was asked about his teenage night-time exploits in his first selfie-stick interview*:

Sky: What were you like when you were 18? What were your interests? What were you up to?

EM: I cared a lot about… er… the world. I was actually living in America for a time working in the media, just before going to university. I was actually an intern. I was also interested in British politics and global issues and what was happening in the world.

Sky: What did you do on a night out though? What were you interested in?

EM: What did I do on a night out? I did some things that most teenagers did, I drank a bit too much, you know, um, but I grew up in a household where you were told to care about the world…

Did he really drink too much, or did he just read about it on the internet?

*David Cameron refused to do a selfie-interview because, a CCHQ source says. “it is twattish”. Correct.

UPDATE: A reader writes:

If Ed Milliband was living in New York when he was  18, as he said in the interview, and drank a bit to much he was breaking the law as the  minimum age at which you drink alcohol is 21, and has been since 1985. Miliband would have been there in 1987 when he was 18. He could have consumed alcohol bought by a parent. Perhaps wild teenage nights in the town with dad!

Dam-ascene Conversion: McBride Says Vote Tory

The final pint was poured at the O’Reilly’s pub in Kentish Town  last night, which is being re-branded as some sort of awful hipster dive. With locals gathering to mourn, one person was conspicuous by his absence. The local Labour candidate.

Presumably a bit rough and ready for Sir Keir.

Though in Damian’s defence it was 9:38pm…

They Snooze, You Lose

Senior LibDem Don Foster, MP for Bath for the past 23 years, clearly thinks he can do the job in his sleep. The chain-smoking chief whip has been struggling to stay awake even during Cabinet meetings. As revealed in yesterday’s Sun, Tory ministers have been unable to hide their giggles as the 67-year-old dozes off, out of sight from his leader Nick Clegg but in full view of the Prime Minister. Gambling coalition cabinet colleagues have opened a book, taking bets on how long into the Tuesday morning meeting the old dear’s eyelids will start to droop. Sounds like a dream job.

Green Party Leader Natalie Bennett Stoner Shocker! Hesitates Before Admitting Dope Smoking

Green leader Natalie Bennett hesitated just a little too long under the forensic questioning of LBC’s Duncan Barkes this lunchtime:

DB: “Are you a drug user?”

NB: “Um, er, I… have a glass of wine most evenings…”

Natalie revealed she used to smoke dope but insisted she doesn’t “dabble” any more. Could have fooled anyone who has read her manifesto…

It Was The Chicken Wot Won It

Guido Squawks responds to the news the Greens have been invited to the TV debates:

Party round his tonight…

Strike For Drunk Tube Driver Says It All

tube strike

Another year, another tube strike on the cards. The RMT union are balloting members on Monday and could be launching industrial action as early as 17 February. This time the militants are upset that one their comrades was fired for turning up to work boozed up. All out… on the lash!

It seems as good a time as any to remind downtrodden London commuters that we don’t actually need drivers. By Guido’s arithmetic there are at least 63 fully automated subway train systems in world, including Dockland’s Light Railway which has been happily driver free since its construction.

So why isn’t the rest of tube network automated? Well, much of it kind of is; the Jubilee, Victoria and Central lines are all semi-autbuttonsomatic. The ‘drivers’ literally have to press two buttons at the same time once and the train drives itself. Not bad for £50,000 a year, and no wonder they think they can do it drunk.

The RMT’s stranglehold over the Underground is so great that even though Boris’ soon to be delivered 250 new trains are capable of running on auto, they will have drivers until the 2020s.

Robots don’t strike.

Quote of the Day

 

The FT profile a known party animal:

“One former ally recalls being served glasses with minuscule quantities of wine from a half-empty bottle at the Miliband home: “It was like receiving communion,” he says. On the few occasions Mr Miliband attends a social event, he is usually armed with briefing notes on the guests…”

Blogging May Be Light This Morning…

Guido is nursing a sore head from yesterday’s Christmas lunch, which overran somewhat.

After Martin Rowson shamelessly cancelled on his promise to sketch the team due to corporate influence, eminent artist Iain Martin graciously stepped in:

/home/wpcom/public_html/wp-content/blogs.dir/5cc/7515463/files/2014/12/img_18131.jpg

[…]

+ READ MORE +

Going for Lunch: Meme Miliband Challenge

meme-machine

Ed Miliband’s 7-minute immigration speech reminded Guido of something…

one-does-not-simply-walk-into-mordor

So here goes…

ONE-DOES-NOT-MEME

Co-conspirators can use the top picture to create their own versions and upload into the new comments system below.

We will try sort out a goodie bag for […]

+ READ MORE +

Bumper Boozy End of Term Blowout for MPs Tonight

It’s going to be a late sitting tonight on tedious end of term legislation – which means a bumper night for parliament’s bars:

From: Government Whips Admin Unit (HOC)
Sent: 15 December 2014 13:19
Subject: Todays Business

Given 2 UQs

[…]

+ READ MORE +

Baldwin Spins Cancer Story Despite Sick Bone Marrow Outrage

baldwin-cancer

“Labour will tackle scandal of cancer patients denied life-saving treatment” screams the press machine this morning. “Labour will create a new annual Cancer Treatments Fund to improve access not just to the latest drugs but also to the latest forms […]

+ READ MORE +



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Quote of the Day

Former Miliband guru Arnie Graf reveals Labour’s disconnect with the working class:

“On one of my trips to the U.K. in the autumn of 2013, I bumped into one of Ed’s strategists in Portcullis House. He asked me if I was assisting the staff on Ed’s trip that was to take place in a few days to one of the regions. I told him that I did not have knowledge of his planned trip.

He told me that Ed was going to give a talk at the region’s annual fund raising dinner and that prior to the dinner he had invited the media to join him at a local coffee shop to listen to a conversation he planned to have with a minimum wage worker. The point of the conversation was to show how difficult it was for a minimum wage worker to get on in life.

There was only one problem. No one had been able to locate a minimum wage worker for Ed to talk with.”

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