Burnham ‘Just Checking Out’ Westminster Bubble

There was Guido making his way through the heart of the Westminster bubble last night, when who did he happen to stumble across? Only man of t’people Andy Burnham, posing for photos outside the Westminster Arms, the definitive core of the SW1 bubble. What on earth was an outsider like Andy doing at the very epicentre of the metropolitan elite? “I just thought I’d come and check out the bubble,” he told Guido.

Burnham was in a bullish mood about his chances last night, telling Guido “we can still do it” and insisting that second preferences meant he was the only candidate who can stop Corbyn. Of course Cooper’s people say the same about her. Keen to quickly get away from the bubble, Andy rejected the offer of a pint from a supporter and made his exit… to his flat less than a mile away in Kennington…

Osborne Mocks Labour Contest: “I’ve Got Three More Votes Left to Cast”

George Osborne just about recovered from his 2011 w*nker joke faux pas to land the coveted GQ Politician of the Year award at the Royal Opera House last night.

Westminster style icon Osborne was presented the award by his friend Bob Geldof, who revealed he personally called the Chancellor the day before to give him an ear-bashing about the refugee crisis. George’s gags were much better received this time, including an obligatory dig at the Labour leadership contest:

“The Labour leadership contest hasn’t got long to go and I’ve got three more votes left to cast”

Piers certainly enjoyed it…

The ever-svelte Osborne had a whole table sorted for his top Treasury team, though they quickly slipped off before the after party for prettier guests. GQ Politician of the Year 2016: Jezza Corbyn and his vest…?

Corbynistas Plan to ‘Drink Blood of Thatcher’

Jeremy Corbyn’s supporters will be partying like it’s 1983 at the Speakeasy Bar in Epping tomorrow night. The Corbyn campaign is sponsoring an official ‘Cocktails for Corbyn‘ bash, offering drinks such as “Dianne Abbotts” [sic], described as “Champagne Socialist Martinis”, and “Kier Hardie” Old Fashioneds. Also on the menu are “Bloody Margarets“, a rather tasteless reference to the late Lady Thatcher. Only 11 people have RSVP’d so far, seems Essex isn’t a Corbynista heartland. Bloodthirsty Reds…

Corbynistas Already Planning Victory Rally

There might be a month until the ballot closes, but that hasn’t stopped some excitable Corbyn supporters from organising a mass “victory party” for their man on September 12:

Nearly 1,000 people have already signed up to attend the event, which sounds just great:

Will they be flying the red flag through the streets of London, or are they a tad premature?

Hop-ocalypse Now: Beer Would Run Out in Corbyn’s Britain

Bitter Blairite critics say the Draught Corbyn campaign couldn’t organise a piss up in a brewey, and the evidence from Venezuela suggests this is not hop-perbole. The socialist paradise is running out of beer after its main brewer was forced to shut because of a lack of imported barley:

“Members of some of the dozens of unions representing Polar workers have limited distribution of the small bottles of light beer that are favored in Venezuela.”

With Chavista Jez still a-head in the polls, his team will at the very yeast need to craft a careful response and not just dismiss this as froth. Let this be an amber warning to Corbyn supporters…

Wintour is Coming… To Serve the Beverages

plane

It sounds like Guardian Pol Ed Patrick Wintour enjoyed flying with the PM back from Asia. The Speccie have the inside story from 35,000 feet:

“Wintour – who appeared to be enjoying the champagne on offer – decided the time had come for him to be a trolley dolly and assisted an air hostess by taking the other end of the trolley.

To the surprise of ministers on the plane, he made his way down the aisle putting ice and lemon in the cups, and getting drinks out of the drawers on his side of the trolley, repeatedly shouting ‘this is so easy’.”

Must have been the jet lag…

End of an Era…

End of an error, more like…

Blogging May Be Light…

anchorman

It’s Neo-Guido’s leaving lunch this afternoon.

Guido will be drowning his sorrows down the pub later, come buy him a Guinness. Usual place…

Rain on Dave’s Parade

The PM brought back up to his summer bash for Peroni-guzzling Lobby hacks last night, but it was the weather that rained on his parade – literally. As damp Tory leadership contenders worked the thinning lawn of the Downing Street […]

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Dave Struggles With Another Three Letter Acronym Text

Along with Boris (late), Hammond (cold),  Fallon (sober-ish), Soubry (jolly), Hancock (bouncy) and former Aussie PM John Howard, the PM laid it on thick last night at Lynton Crosby’s victory party at the Science Museum.

Taking the stage to do […]

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Dave Meets UKIP

Guido is very hungover after last night’s Speccie bash. It was very hot and there was a lot of Pimms involved, also an inexplicable number of pretty models there…

Sadly no Miliband this year, instead it was Harman’s turn to […]

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Green Party Youth’s Glastonbury Mash Up

festival-crowd-girls

The bright eyed youth wing of the Green Party are sending 100 of their members to Glastonbury Festival as part of a “sustainability project”. They will aim to establish “sustainable ‘villages’ which minimise everyone’s impact on the […]

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Quote of the Day

Liam Fox shreds Cameron’s Calais scaremongering:

“Sad and disappointed to see our Prime Minister stoop to this level of scaremongering, especially as he knows the Calais agreement is nothing to do with the EU and agreed between the two govts”

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