Saturday, September 27, 2014

Mark Reckless Defects to UKIP

A dream for headline writers everywhere. On the eve of Tory conference Mark Reckless has defected to UKIP.

He was denying it less than 24 hours ago, but the clues were there in the Iraq vote:

And so to Birmingham.

Wednesday, September 24, 2014

Guido Had a Bizarre Dream Last Night…

…that he was down the Rover’s Return on Coronation Street when this vaguely familiar face came in and stared at him from the other end of the bar:

Then Guido stumbles out and bumps into Len McCluskey, before having an awkward moment with Owen Jones. “Last night I met Guido, a blogger. He told me…”

Tuesday, September 23, 2014

Gareth Can’t Decide Between Yellow and Red

Poor due diligence from Labour speechwriters on Gareth from IT, the man Ed spent a large portion of his speech talking about meeting. It turns out he voted LibDem at the last election. Here he is unable to decide between yellow and red:

‘Elizabeth’, another of the many people who have met Ed Miliband and gone on to feature in his speeches, meanwhile says she is keeping an open mind about who she is voting for next year. Obviously ‘Colin’ does not have a vote next time, given he is no longer with us. He died shortly after his conversation with Ed, but not before speaking in perfect soundbites.  The personal touch doesn’t seem to be working…

 

Ed Balls Gangnam Style

Disturbing new photos have emerged of Ed Balls at Labour’s annual diversity party last night. The Standard reports:

“Host Keith Vaz stole the show by donning sunglasses for last night’s dance marathon, where two belly-dancers tied their bright sashes around the MP as they gyrated either side of him… Chuka Umunna, Harriet Harman, Sadiq Khan, Ed Balls and Yvette Cooper were among those showing off their moves at the event, which saw confetti fall from the ceiling as Gangnam Style was repeated at the end.”

What kind of monster wears sunglasses inside? 

Wednesday, August 6, 2014

Walking in the Air (Of Superiority)

Meet Aled Jones, 20 year-old namesake of your mum’s favourite Welsh ex-choirboy and star of this pre-election Labour campaign video:

Aled shares the heart-warming story of his humble beginnings, how he grew up on his family’s sheep farm in rural Wales, and why “I’m Labour because I believe in a society where no one falls behind”. But Aled’s meek backstory isn’t all it seems.

What Labour don’t tell us is their new poster boy is actually a law student at Oxford, co-chair of Oxford University Labour Club and former intern for several Labour politicians. Presumably his commitment to “a society where wealth doesn’t just trickle down from the top” stems from his experience working for Shell oil company and Magic Circle law firm Slaughter and May. And, like any aspiring socialist, he also has a penchant for champagne and white tie:

The revolution is safe in Aled’s hands…

Monday, August 4, 2014

Tory MP Graham Stuart Raving Video Emerges

Well one Tory MP  is having a mental recess. Gurning Graham Stuart spent his Saturday night at the Humber Street Sesh with monged out fellow revellers dancing to Endoflevelbaddie. For those of you not aquainted with the four piece dance collective: “With the best name in the history of music, Endoflevelbaddie hail from, well, another galaxy probably”:

“Endoflevelbaddie combine massive production, slick visuals, sharp lyrics and a live show second to none. With producer ‘Endoflevelbaddie’, VJ ‘EyeSaw’ drummer ‘Beat ‘em Up’ and MC ‘Player 1’, they cut a striking image in anonymous masks.”

Also cutting a ‘striking image’ was silver-haired shape thrower, Graham, who can be seen below having it large:

Guido approves.

Thursday, July 31, 2014

Bye Bye Blue Boar: Intercontinental OUT of Westminster

westminster

After opening with much fanfare in late 2012, the Intercontinental Hotel in Westminster attempted to establish itself as the place to be for politcos. After some initial success it’s now full of lobbyists eating overpriced food and looking over their shoulder in case someone interesting passes through, which is a rarity these days. Well, Guido hears the Intercontinental group have had enough and are throwing in the towel…

Hilton will be taking over the running of things, and the plan is that it will become a Conrad branded venture. Guido’s advice would be sort out the Blue Boar. It’s dark, soul-less and the food is not up scratch for that price. The wine list is expensive and so dull, and the service has become sloppy. Lighten it all up a bit; gut the entire bar and restaurant and then start again. Aim a little lower in price and who knows… it might work. All change at the end of August. See ya.

Sally’s Pass Pal Claimed to be ‘Agent’ and ‘Miliband Adviser’
Mystery Over Farah Sasson’s Donation and Access Grows

The row over Bercow’s donation/pass mystery is escalating. Tory MP Simon Burns has weighed in:

“I do not quite see why at the request of the wife of the Speaker a friend should be given a pass to the House of Commons – in that they are not usually given to MPs’ friends. It makes it look rather difficult for the Speaker when he then receives a rather nice cheque for his election campaign – and leaves him open to criticism and questions.”

David Morris MP tells Guido this morning that Farah Sassoon introduced herself to him on the Commons Terrace as ‘an adviser to Ed Miliband’ saying she advised the Labour leader ‘on all sorts of things’. Another Tory MP, speaking on the condition of anonymity for now, says that on a separate occasion Ms Sassoon claimed to be Sally Bercow’s agent. If this is true it adds a rather unsavoury commercial angle to why she has been allowed unfettered access to Parliamentary estate. Who is this mysterious character, and to what end is she really using this pass?

Whether she’s a friend, a Labour adviser, or Sally’s agent , the line from the Speaker that this is all dandy does not hold water. Crucially, Bercow’s spokesman dodged the question of whether proper advice was sought before he accepted a donation from this mysterious business woman. Even if there is an innocent explanation, as an example to all MPs, the Speaker must be whiter than white. Yet each day brings new questions…

Tuesday, June 24, 2014

Where is the Outrage at David Ruffley?

Guido has tried to warn the Tories, and the world, about David Ruffley’s anger management problems before, reporting on his “obnoxious” behaviour towards staff leading to bright-eyed hopefuls leaving his office in floods of tears. Let’s not forget the lawsuits and the rumours of throwing bins at staff.

And so it came pass, when it emerged over the weekend that Ruffley has accepted a police caution for domestic violence, admitting to assaulting his then girlfriend in March of this year. What is the world coming to when one Tory MP faces a lynch mob and condemnation from the Prime Minister and thousands of others for an ill-advised hypothetical joke tweet, but another Tory MP, who accepts a caution for assaulting a woman, faces no action from his party?

Wednesday, June 18, 2014

Liberty Online: Live Stream of Guido at #Liberty2014


Seen Elsewhere

Boris is Right About Grammar Schools | Conservative Women
‘Obsolete’ Cable | Speccie
Why are Tories so Upbeat? | Alex Wickham
Clear Public Interest in Newmark Sting | Mirror
Boris Invites Farage to Join Tories | Guardian
RAF Too Run Down to Fight Islamic State | Con Coughlin
Osborne’s Personal Cuts Regime | Quentin Letts
Whoever Wins is Cursed | Janan Ganesh
Dave Will Never Be Forgiven if Ed Becomes PM | Trevor Kavanagh
What is Dave’s Big Message? | Tim Montgomerie
Voting UKIP Only Helps Ed | Boris


VOTER-RECALL
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Mark Reckless told UKIP…

“We are more than a star on someone else’s flag.”



cynic says:

Can anyone help me? I went on holiday a week ago and returned to find someone has pulled out the stake and Gordon Brown is back and acting as Prime Minister. What did I miss? Has there been a snap election?


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