Boozy ‘Boris For PM’ Parties

Last month Boris wooed 40 or so Tory MPs at a boozy drinks party hosted by his unofficial campaign manager Nigel Adams at his luxury riverside apartment. Those in attendance say the bash was an attempt to wine and dine those backbenchers with whom he does not have a particularly strong relationship. The Boris operation has clearly stepped up a gear – Adams and Chris Heaton-Harris are hosting another party at their flat “for Vote Leave colleagues” in June. BoJo is expected to attend…

Parties thrown by Adams and Heaton-Harris are famous for having only one rule: “NFJ“. No f**king journalists…

PCH Staff Warned: Urinal Lot of Trouble

Pee

Spotted on the door of a PCH loo today. One Cabinet minister in particular will be feeling relieved

Leadsom and Mordaunt Woo Outers Over Wine

Since he declared for Leave the odds on Boris joining Osborne in a leadership final have shortened, with ambitious colleagues jostling for position. Andrea Leadsom and Penny Mordaunt have both previously been tipped to mount leadership bids, they are both Outers who help run the intriguing ‘Fresh Start’ group of Tory MPs. Curiously the duo have begun hosting weekly drinks dos with Tory backbenchers, inviting “colleagues who are on the ‘leave’ side of the EU debate” to an “informal drop in each Monday evening” at Penny’s office. The “regular” 90 minute long sessions “over a glass of wine” have been a convenient opportunity to woo colleagues, while Leadsom is also having backbenchers round for drinkies at her swish Tufton Court residence. Tonight Penny and Andrea have arranged for Vote Leave to give a talk about strategy and answer questions, naturally “wine and snacks will be served”Boris’ operation, run by Ben Wallace and Nigel Adams, is famously lacking punch…

Tequila Scammers: Lansman’s Late Night Secret Election

Momentum is supposedly a grassroots organisation run by the people, for the people. So how do they elect their national representatives? Meet Frankie Leach, a 19 year-old International Politics student at Manchester Met. Frankie is also a Momentum activist who spent Saturday night boozing with the group’s boss Jon Lansman.

She tweeted at 1:06 a.m.
tweet 1With picture evidence (that’s Lansman on the right):

tweet 2

3 minutes later at 1:09 a.m., congratulations were in order:
tweet 3

Guido has no idea what happened in those three minutes, but lefty sources claim Lansman went from a tequila slammer to a sham of an election. Just what did the 58 year old silver fox, who appears to drink cider and black, see in Frankie?

Junior Doctors Jet Off on Cut-Price Val d’Isere Junket

Just as well junior doctors called off the second of their three planned strikes, scheduled for this week, because hundreds of them are jetting off to Val d’Isere today. Over the next 72 hours doctors are attending their annual winter conference, which has been held at the premier French ski resort for years. The good news is there are still 133 last-minute tickets left for doctors-in-training, at a reduced rate of £330. Medical students qualify for concessions at £210. It is even tax deductible if attendees present an eight-minute report or short paper.

Lectures include “What it takes to win”, “When things go wrong” and “Being sued”. Though far more exciting are the special offers available:

“Val d’Isere is considered to be the world’s premier ski resort. It offers the best skiing together with lively après ski. There are several ski companies offering special DoctorsUpdates rates for delegates in Val d’isere.”

Wonder if they’ll have any snappers for company at the “lively après ski”…

The trip finishes up on Wednesday with the 25th annual St George’s Cup Slalom Race:

“On the Wednesday we hold the great annual St George’s Cup Slalom Race. The rules of the race are cleverly devised so that skiers of all abilities can take part with an equal chance of success. Every competitor completes two timed runs down the same slalom course. The person whose second time most closely matches their first is the winner. This difference is sometimes as close as hundredths of a second!”

Good to see those £30,000-£70,000 junior doctors’ salaries aren’t going to waste!

2 Million More Problem Drinkers Created By Government

ALCOHOL-LIMITS

Victory for the public health lobby fun police as the Department of Health announces its intention to lower the recommended limit for alcohol consumption from 21 to 14 units per week for men. For some context, the USA’s limit is 24.5 units, France 26, Italy 31.5, and Spain 35 units. Yet British men are being told they should only drink five pints per week…

Industry sources say this means the number of men drinking at what Department of Health calls “increasing risk” rises from 16% to 26% overnight. That’s around 2 million more men labelled binge drinkers by the government. Cheers for that…

Last Orders at Labour’s Old Local

In something of a metaphor for the state of the Labour party, their once favoured pub has sadly closed down. The Tapster was – helpfully for long-suffering staffers needing to drown their sorrows – located underneath their former party HQ at Brewer’s Green. They had a decent wine list and did a passable crispy duck confit, while their sheltered booths were handy for a clandestine lunch. A statement on their website says: “Unfortunately Tapster has now closed, and will not be re-opening”. The loss of Labour Party staffers from the office above crying in to their beers and drinking to forget has inevitably led to closure…

Osborne’s Pre-Spending Review Bash Gets Out of Hand

george

Corridor colleagues complain that a party held at George Osborne’s MP office last week got a little out of hand. Not only were empty wine bottles strewn across the floor outside, the landing now stinks of booze and a light-fingered reveller even nicked the sign with the Chancellor’s name from the door. “It was raucous,” says an unimpressed colleague. Hic!

Bugg Off: Dugher’s Late Night Soho Gig Cut Short

dggher

‘Lightning Bolt’ singer-songwriter Jake Bugg treated MPs to an impromptu performance in parliament as part of the BBC’s LetItBeeb campaign against cuts to music services. Afterwards Bugg wound up going for a “quick pint” with Shadow Culture Secretary Michael Dugher. […]

+ READ MORE +

Strictly De Kirchner

Well-known Corbynista and Argentinian President Cristina de Kirchner has delighted supporters by spontaneously dancing at a campaign rally in Buenos Aires:

This isn’t the first time she has let loose, having cut some shapes to Ninel Conde’s “El bombón asesino” […]

+ READ MORE +

Corbyn Dances to “F**k You” as Stalin Looks On

Jeremy Corbyn found himself mobbed by a harem of tipsy fans at last night’s Mirror party. He politely shuffled his feet to Cee Lo Green’s “F**k You” but made his exit once his female admirers began throwing themselves […]

+ READ MORE +

“F**k You” – SNP MP Tells Commons Barmaid

WikiGuido profiles the new SNP intake in the new issue of Spectator Life:

Standing on chairs in Parliament’s Sports and Social bar, a band of portly gentlemen are bellowing out Scottish folk songs. A young barmaid, only in her

[…]

+ READ MORE +



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