Long Day at the Office, Prime Minister?

According to the EyeSpy.MP Twitter account, Dave followed his ITV Q&A last night with a fag and a pint on the Commons terrace. Long day at the office?

Drunk Again Juncker Happy Slapping EU Leaders

He calls Hungary’s PM Viktor Orbán “the dictator” in front of the press…

Corbyn’s Brother Hopes He Votes Leave

One man stole the show at the after-party for the premiere of Brexit: The Movie, Jeremy Corbyn’s brother Piers. Guido shared a beer and a laugh with the Labour leader’s climate change sceptic, Brexit-backing sibling, who explained that Jezza is a “long-term Eurosceptic” who “has been voting with Graham Stringer [the Labour Outer] for years”, but is now in “party management mode“. Piers insisted “I don’t know how he’s going to vote”. But he expressed a hope that his brother “does the right thing and votes out”…

The sponsors for Martin Durkin’s must-watch documentary put £30,000 behind the bar at the W London in Leicester Square, which went by midnight. Piers then went all meteorological on us, warning guests that major thunderstorms are coming our way around mid-August, approximately the 13th or 14th, including the possibility of hailstones. He advises holidaymakers best avoid Britain, France and most of western and northern Europe for the period. It’s his brother who will be experiencing real turbulence…

Boozy ‘Boris For PM’ Parties

Last month Boris wooed 40 or so Tory MPs at a boozy drinks party hosted by his unofficial campaign manager Nigel Adams at his luxury riverside apartment. Those in attendance say the bash was an attempt to wine and dine those backbenchers with whom he does not have a particularly strong relationship. The Boris operation has clearly stepped up a gear – Adams and Chris Heaton-Harris are hosting another party at their flat “for Vote Leave colleagues” in June. BoJo is expected to attend…

Parties thrown by Adams and Heaton-Harris are famous for having only one rule: “NFJ“. No f**king journalists…

PCH Staff Warned: Urinal Lot of Trouble

Pee

Spotted on the door of a PCH loo today. One Cabinet minister in particular will be feeling relieved

Leadsom and Mordaunt Woo Outers Over Wine

Since he declared for Leave the odds on Boris joining Osborne in a leadership final have shortened, with ambitious colleagues jostling for position. Andrea Leadsom and Penny Mordaunt have both previously been tipped to mount leadership bids, they are both Outers who help run the intriguing ‘Fresh Start’ group of Tory MPs. Curiously the duo have begun hosting weekly drinks dos with Tory backbenchers, inviting “colleagues who are on the ‘leave’ side of the EU debate” to an “informal drop in each Monday evening” at Penny’s office. The “regular” 90 minute long sessions “over a glass of wine” have been a convenient opportunity to woo colleagues, while Leadsom is also having backbenchers round for drinkies at her swish Tufton Court residence. Tonight Penny and Andrea have arranged for Vote Leave to give a talk about strategy and answer questions, naturally “wine and snacks will be served”Boris’ operation, run by Ben Wallace and Nigel Adams, is famously lacking punch…

Tequila Scammers: Lansman’s Late Night Secret Election

Momentum is supposedly a grassroots organisation run by the people, for the people. So how do they elect their national representatives? Meet Frankie Leach, a 19 year-old International Politics student at Manchester Met. Frankie is also a Momentum activist who spent Saturday night boozing with the group’s boss Jon Lansman.

She tweeted at 1:06 a.m.
tweet 1With picture evidence (that’s Lansman on the right):

tweet 2

3 minutes later at 1:09 a.m., congratulations were in order:
tweet 3

Guido has no idea what happened in those three minutes, but lefty sources claim Lansman went from a tequila slammer to a sham of an election. Just what did the 58 year old silver fox, who appears to drink cider and black, see in Frankie?

Junior Doctors Jet Off on Cut-Price Val d’Isere Junket

Just as well junior doctors called off the second of their three planned strikes, scheduled for this week, because hundreds of them are jetting off to Val d’Isere today. Over the next 72 hours doctors are attending their annual winter conference, which has been held at the premier French ski resort for years. The good news is there are still 133 last-minute tickets left for doctors-in-training, at a reduced rate of £330. Medical students qualify for concessions at £210. It is even tax deductible if attendees present an eight-minute report or short paper.

Lectures include “What it takes to win”, “When things go wrong” and “Being sued”. Though far more exciting are the special offers available:

“Val d’Isere is considered to be the world’s premier ski resort. It offers the best skiing together with lively après ski. There are several ski companies offering special DoctorsUpdates rates for delegates in Val d’isere.”

Wonder if they’ll have any snappers for company at the “lively après ski”…

The trip finishes up on Wednesday with the 25th annual St George’s Cup Slalom Race:

“On the Wednesday we hold the great annual St George’s Cup Slalom Race. The rules of the race are cleverly devised so that skiers of all abilities can take part with an equal chance of success. Every competitor completes two timed runs down the same slalom course. The person whose second time most closely matches their first is the winner. This difference is sometimes as close as hundredths of a second!”

Good to see those £30,000-£70,000 junior doctors’ salaries aren’t going to waste!

2 Million More Problem Drinkers Created By Government

ALCOHOL-LIMITS

Victory for the public health lobby fun police as the Department of Health announces its intention to lower the recommended limit for alcohol consumption from 21 to 14 units per week for men. For some context, the USA’s limit is 24.5 units, France 26, Italy 31.5, and Spain 35 units.[…]

+ READ MORE +

Last Orders at Labour’s Old Local

In something of a metaphor for the state of the Labour party, their once favoured pub has sadly closed down. The Tapster was – helpfully for long-suffering staffers needing to drown their sorrows – located underneath their former party HQ at Brewer’s Green.[…]

+ READ MORE +

Osborne’s Pre-Spending Review Bash Gets Out of Hand

george

Corridor colleagues complain that a party held at George Osborne’s MP office last week got a little out of hand. Not only were empty wine bottles strewn across the floor outside, the landing now stinks of booze and a light-fingered reveller even nicked the sign with the Chancellor’s name from the door.[…]

+ READ MORE +

Bugg Off: Dugher’s Late Night Soho Gig Cut Short

dggher

‘Lightning Bolt’ singer-songwriter Jake Bugg treated MPs to an impromptu performance in parliament as part of the BBC’s LetItBeeb campaign against cuts to music services. Afterwards Bugg wound up going for a “quick pint” with Shadow Culture Secretary Michael Dugher. Hours later, the pair were in a Soho bar where Jake decided to get his guitar out for a quick song.[…]

+ READ MORE +

Strictly De Kirchner

Well-known Corbynista and Argentinian President Cristina de Kirchner has delighted supporters by spontaneously dancing at a campaign rally in Buenos Aires:

This isn’t the first time she has let loose, having cut some shapes to Ninel Conde’s “El bombón asesino” in December of last year:

Partying like it’s 1983…[…]

+ READ MORE +

Corbyn Dances to “F**k You” as Stalin Looks On

Jeremy Corbyn found himself mobbed by a harem of tipsy fans at last night’s Mirror party. He politely shuffled his feet to Cee Lo Green’s “F**k You” but made his exit once his female admirers began throwing themselves at him:

Looking down upon him from the wall of Brighton Revolutions?[…]

+ READ MORE +

“F**k You” – SNP MP Tells Commons Barmaid

WikiGuido profiles the new SNP intake in the new issue of Spectator Life:

Standing on chairs in Parliament’s Sports and Social bar, a band of portly gentlemen are bellowing out Scottish folk songs. A young barmaid, only in her early twenties yet a seasoned veteran when it comes to turfing out unruly Westminster soaks, approaches a new SNP MP and politely asks him to pack it in.

[…]

+ READ MORE +

Red, Red, Whine: Greek MEP Moans About Half Hour Plonk Wait

MEPs on the Brussels gravy train have been treated to a revamped gourmet catering service. The new menu features delights such as ‘Chavignol crottin cheese with bacon, thyme and honey’ for a starter, followed by ‘Striploin limousin with roquefort sauce’ and then ‘Chocolate moelleux with salted butter’ for dessert.[…]

+ READ MORE +



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Quote of the Day

David Cowling, the BBC’s head of political research, in an internal memo…

“It seems to me that the London bubble has to burst if there is to be any prospect of addressing the issues that have brought us to our current situation. There are many millions of people in the UK who do not enthuse about diversity and do not embrace metropolitan values yet do not consider themselves lesser human beings for all that. Until their values and opinions are acknowledged and respected, rather than ignored and despised, our present discord will persist. Because these discontents run very wide and very deep and the metropolitan political class, confronted by them, seems completely bewildered and at a loss about how to respond (“who are these ghastly people and where do they come from?” doesn’t really hack it). The 2016 EU referendum has witnessed the cashing in of some very bitter bankable grudges but I believe that, throughout this 2016 campaign, Europe has been the shadow not the substance.”

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