Tuesday, October 21, 2014

Snouts In The Trough

  • Tian of crab, king prawns with keta caviar and crème fraiche.
  • Elderflower sorbet drizzled with Champagne.
  • Herb crusted rack of Elwy lamb, butterbean purée with ratatouille.
  • Warm chocolate fondant with vanilla ice cream.
  • Coffee and Truffles.
  • DRINKS.

WINES:

  • Simonet-Febvre, Chablis 2011
  • l’Espirit de Bellevue, St Emillion 2011

Twitter Hashtag #GF10

Friday, October 17, 2014

POLL: Who’s Right, Peter Oborne or Craig Oliver?

Peter Oborne went on Newsnight on Wednesday to express a rarely vocalised view in Westminster, namely that Craig Oliver is a “particularly grubby individual”:

No.10’s Super Spinner has responded in a letter published by Ephraim Hardcastle this morning, accusing Oborne of being drunk:

Dear Peter

I just wanted to check you are OK. Some BBC people have been on to me worried you were a bit tired and emotional last night.

Let me know if I can help.

Best wishes,

Craig Oliver.

To which Peter replies:

“I am absolutely astonished that an official working for the Prime Minister would use such terminology. It is offensive and inaccurate. I hope that when he has taken time to consider it he’ll withdraw these remarks which are unworthy of a Downing Street Director of Communications.”

Who was right?

Let the people decide…

Wednesday, October 15, 2014

Oi, Ed, Shut Up You Slaaaaag
VOTE: Who is More In Touch: Boy George or Danny Dyer?

Who is more in touch with public opinion: Boy George or Danny Dyer?

In scenes reminiscent of Malcolm Tucker’s Zeitgeist tapes in the Thick of It, Ed Miliband revealed to Danny Dyer at the Attitude awards this week that he “researches” Eastenders online to keep up to date, even though he doesn’t watch the show. A source tells the Sun:

“[Ed] immediately made a big point of saying he knew a lot about the show. Then he started saying how the character of Martin Fowler has had three different actors playing him and how Ben Mitchell’s character has had five. Danny was a bit confused so asked him if watches the show. Ed shook his head and said, ‘No, I don’t have time any more but I’ve been doing a lot of research about it online’.”

Soap hard man Danny later reflected: “It was all a bit too heavy for me. I had to sit the f*** down.” Perhaps he could use the experience on the next series of “Danny Dyer’s Deadliest Men”. But who is more in touch with reality?

Voting open until Close of Play…

Lovers Re-Unite-ed: Red Len’s Late Night Re-Union

The last time Guido asked Len McCluskey about his relationship with Jennie Formby, Unite political director and the mother of his lovechild, he got very tetchy. Guido is sure, therefore, that there is nothing at all untoward about eyewitness reports of Jennie and Red Len gazing into each other’s eyes over multiple drinks in the Feather’s pub, SW1 late last night. It was cold and damp, but that did not stop the re-Unite-d lovers huddling outside in the cold, as Len the Lothario poured the mid-range Chardonnay, away from the prying eyes of other punters. He then bundled Jennie into a car so quickly, that our dozy half-cut super sleuth cocked up getting a snap of the pair.

Only a cynic would note that McCluskey fathered a child with Formby while he was still married to his first wife Ann, before moving into a union-funded London home with a second lover Paula Lace, with Jennie going on to marry another man. Lots of important Unite policy to discuss last night…

UPDATE: Another source says Len’s ex-lover Jenny was indeed at the pub and so was Len’s current girlfriend Karie Murphy. Our original source was clearly seeing double…

Friday, October 10, 2014

Huge Tory Swing in Bath

Carpet-bagging wannabe MP and renowned bon viveur Ben Howlett has been getting to know his constituency, sampling the delights of Bath’s night-life. These photos were taken at the Po Na Na club, which Guido can confirm from personal experience is a dive. A fellow reveller reports:

“He was wasted and bumping into people, he even said ‘don’t you know who I am’. This was only at 11pm. Lightweight.”

One way of swaying the voters…

Thursday, October 2, 2014

RED ON RED: Dirty Tricks Against ‘Alcoholic’ Labour PPC
Fake Leaflet of Candidate Snorting Sambuca With Hospital Tube

The Labour Party candidate selection process in Ashton Under-Lyme very nearly descended into all out war last month, with accusations flying of dirty tricks to get trade union pilgrim Angela Rayner selected. Unison heavies, with the help of senior Labour MPs like Andrew ‘shouty’ Gwynne, won in the end, but that is not to say that the local tension has gone away. In fact it’s getting very messy:

A leaflet pretending to be from Rayner has been posted through doors in the constituency. It shows the self-styled ‘care worker’ snorting sambuca through her nose using a hospital feeding tube, whilst she denies having a drink problem. Guido understands however that the photos are genuine. Sources on the ground say an element of the local party is out to get Rayner at all costs and it looks to Guido like this could get very dirty.

Saturday, September 27, 2014

Mark Reckless Defects to UKIP

A dream for headline writers everywhere. On the eve of Tory conference Mark Reckless has defected to UKIP.

He was denying it less than 24 hours ago, but the clues were there in the Iraq vote:

And so to Birmingham.

Wednesday, September 24, 2014

Guido Had a Bizarre Dream Last Night…

…that he was down the Rover’s Return on Coronation Street when this vaguely familiar face came in and stared at him from the other end of the bar:

Then Guido stumbles out and bumps into Len McCluskey, before having an awkward moment with Owen Jones. “Last night I met Guido, a blogger. He told me…”

Tuesday, September 23, 2014

Gareth Can’t Decide Between Yellow and Red

Poor due diligence from Labour speechwriters on Gareth from IT, the man Ed spent a large portion of his speech talking about meeting. It turns out he voted LibDem at the last election. Here he is unable to decide between yellow and red:

‘Elizabeth’, another of the many people who have met Ed Miliband and gone on to feature in his speeches, meanwhile says she is keeping an open mind about who she is voting for next year. Obviously ‘Colin’ does not have a vote next time, given he is no longer with us. He died shortly after his conversation with Ed, but not before speaking in perfect soundbites.  The personal touch doesn’t seem to be working…

 

Ed Balls Gangnam Style

Disturbing new photos have emerged of Ed Balls at Labour’s annual diversity party last night. The Standard reports:

“Host Keith Vaz stole the show by donning sunglasses for last night’s dance marathon, where two belly-dancers tied their bright sashes around the MP as they gyrated either side of him… Chuka Umunna, Harriet Harman, Sadiq Khan, Ed Balls and Yvette Cooper were among those showing off their moves at the event, which saw confetti fall from the ceiling as Gangnam Style was repeated at the end.”

What kind of monster wears sunglasses inside? 


Seen Elsewhere

Does Europe Really Want Britain to Quit? | Nick Wood
Immigration Nation | Hopi Sen
Tories Choose Anti-Israel Candidate in Rochester | JC
Osborne’s Daycare Obsession is a Time Bomb | Kathy Gyngell
BBC Marr Pinko Trying to Ban the Queen | Speccie
Eric Hobsbawm: Companion of Dishonour | Standpoint
Guido Party Gossip | Iain Dale
Russell Brand Comes Out as 9/11 Truther | Guardian
Health Revolution is Underway | Fraser Nelson
UKIP Gets Professional | Red Box
Kelly Tolhurst Wins Rochester Open Primary | BBC


VOTER-RECALL
Find out more about PLMR


Austrian Chancellor Werner Faymann on Cameron’s refusal to pay the £1.7 billion EU bill by December 1st:

“Well, then he’s gonna pay on December 2nd”



Mycroft says:

Have you read the last bit of Animal Farm?

You know where the animals are looking through the Farmhouse window?

My TV screen was that window at lunch-time today.

Be careful, the sudden self-congratulatory tone, the slightly pudgy outline of indulgence and you become exactly what you should despise.

The jolly face of the Quisling Cameron poses for your camera has mesmerised and deceived you, you who were once not so deceived.

You were no firebrand, you were a damp squib in my opinion, sorry.

You need a damned good kick up the ahse!


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