Tuesday, December 9, 2014

Baldwin Spins Cancer Story Despite Sick Bone Marrow Outrage

baldwin-cancer

“Labour will tackle scandal of cancer patients denied life-saving treatment” screams the press machine this morning. “Labour will create a new annual Cancer Treatments Fund to improve access not just to the latest drugs but also to the latest forms of radiotherapy and surgery that are too often not available for thousands of people with cancer.” Worthy stuff.

Guido thought today would be a good time check up on how the internal Labour party investigation is going into out-of-control psycho-spinner Tom Baldwin. As Guido revealed a few weeks ago, Baldwin told a journalist that even if “he was dying he wouldn’t want his bone marrow.”

After near universal condemnation for the sick outburst, something was promised to be done.

Guido wonders what that well known leukaemia campaigner and Baldwin’s mentor Alastair Campbell has to say about it all?

Tuesday, December 2, 2014

Ben Bradshaw’s Suit Gone to Pot

Troubled times for the children of Blair. Ben Bradshaw is wandering around in a hole-ridden suit. Admittedly Guido doesn’t like it when he has to dispose of a Savile Row number either, but it’s hardly a good look. Bradshaw is blaming Parliament’s infestation of moths – and the authorities have confirmed there is a problem. Though it looks a suspiciously like hot rock damage to Guido. Has Ben been “sharing his sister’s rollie” again?

Thursday, November 13, 2014

Chuka Boasts of Mystery Girlfriend

The Shadow Business Secretary and closet DJ Chuka Umunna has been boasting about what good mates he is with Tinie Tempah: “Tinie and I are friends, we go way back,” he told the Standard at a party: “We’re both Nigerian, both from south London. He’s from Peckham, I’m Streatham.” He even got a hug from the rapper later.

It was party boy Chuka’s chat with City AM’s diarist that really caught Guido’s attention though. Apparently Chuka prefers staying in now:

“I love watching Gogglebox with my girlfriend.”

A shocking revelation… What is it about Gogglebox’s constant laying into Ed Miliband that Chuka enjoys the most?

Thursday, October 30, 2014

10 Illiberal Policies of the LibDems

Nick Clegg, that bastion of liberalism, is going around blaming David Cameron’s illiberal policies for the deaths of drug users this morning. Even a LibDem voter on an acid trip could see through Clegg’s conversion to a fearless crusader for the cause of freedom. This is the same Nick Clegg whose party wants to tax fizzy drinks more, tax booze more, change the definition of cider so they can tax it more, ban branding on fag packets, ban houses that are not zero carbon, ban smoking in cars, ban smoking in pubs and restaurants, ban petrol and diesel cars, implement state regulation of the press and regulate goldfish. What would Gladstone say?

Thursday, August 21, 2014

Dave the Rave: Tories Launch Ibiza Branch

Chuka Umunna is not the only politico on Ibiza this summer. The Tories have just launched their own Balearic branch of Conservatives Abroad:

“Ibiza is renowned for attracting the world’s party people and last week was no exception as Conservatives Abroad launched its latest new branch  – Conservatives Abroad Ibiza. Overlooking the secluded bay of Porroig, residents and visitors mingled in the beautiful home and gardens of Charlie and Louise Bracken for cocktails and canapes, generously sponsored by Ibiza-Southerbys.”

How long before Ed Vaizey jets out for a fundraiser?

Thursday, August 14, 2014

Anarchists, Trots and Anti-Zionist Loonies Protest Fracking

The people of Blackpool have today been besieged by anti-fracking wackos in need of a wash. No Dash for Gas like to present themselves as local, normal “mothers and grandmothers…wearing aprons,” who just want to make a polite point about shale gas. They’re spinning harder than a drill working its way through the Lancashire landscape. 

The programme for today’s ‘Reclaim the Power’ protest camp lists a series of workshops including “An introduction to anarchism and anarchist organising”, legal training from the anarchist Green and Black Cross movement, and a PCS union talk on “reclaiming unions”. Attendees can also listen to the advice of delegates from Occupy London, the Polish anarcho-syndicalist Workers’ Initiative and the Squash campaign to decriminalise squatting.

Among the camp’s supporters are Ewa Jasiewicz, a Polish Palestine solidarity activist who wrote on the Reclaim the Power Facebook page: “please come share a bevvy with me and talk more BDS… Ahlan wa sahlan, see you tonight!!” Past attendees include David Icke wannabe Ian Crane, who reckons: “The socio-psychopathic ZIONIST Government of Israel is deliberately fuelling the wave of global anti-jewish sentiment, in a bit to FORCE the diaspora out of their host countries and move to IsraHELL.” And Tom Palmer, who at a protest last week requested: “need some people to bring speed (or some other uppers) though and paraffin for fire poi and a guita (sic)”Just your usual mothers and grandmothers wearing aprons, then…

Baker Junks Junkie Junket

Someone at the Home Office must have been having a laugh at Norman Baker’s expense when they organised for him to go to the V-Festival this weekend to “up the profile” of legal highs. Baker today announced that he is lobbying Jeremy Hunt to consider legalising pot for medicinal purposes, but the party-loving LibDem won’t be getting off his face on Benzo Fury or Black Mamba at the taxpayer’s expense somewhere in a field in Chelmsford. Baker tells Guido:

“It was suggested to me by officials that it might send a good message both to festival organisers and those who attend if I could up the profile of these untested highs, which are dangerous for young people. As it happens, I will be in France on holiday with my wife so no, I won’t be attending.”

Guido has every sympathy…

Monday, August 4, 2014

Tory MP Graham Stuart Raving Video Emerges

Well one Tory MP  is having a mental recess. Gurning Graham Stuart spent his Saturday night at the Humber Street Sesh with monged out fellow revellers dancing to Endoflevelbaddie. For those of you not aquainted with the four piece dance collective: “With the best name in the history of music, Endoflevelbaddie hail from, well, another galaxy probably”:

“Endoflevelbaddie combine massive production, slick visuals, sharp lyrics and a live show second to none. With producer ‘Endoflevelbaddie’, VJ ‘EyeSaw’ drummer ‘Beat ‘em Up’ and MC ‘Player 1’, they cut a striking image in anonymous masks.”

Also cutting a ‘striking image’ was silver-haired shape thrower, Graham, who can be seen below having it large:

Guido approves.

Thursday, July 31, 2014

GOLD: These Were His Salad Days

“Remember we were partners in crime…”

Wednesday, July 30, 2014

Osborne Hooker Arrested After Tweeting “Off His Trolley” Photo

Two days ago Natalie Rowe, the former dominatrix who claims to have done cocaine with Osborne, tweeted this previously unseen photo of a young George:

Her tweets were increasingly hysterical and from her timeline she appears to be having some kind of episode. Today she was arrested for unrelated “abusive behaviour” on the King’s Road last Thursday:

One for the conspiracy theorists. Rowe’s home was raided by the cops after she announced she would be revealing all in a book last year…


Seen Elsewhere

Rise of Angela Merkel | New Yorker
May SpAd Removed From Candidates List | ConHome
Clodagh’s Law | Press Gazette
Whitehall Bosses Ban Christmas | Sun
Meanwhile, in Russia… | Media Guido
Christmas TV Tips | Laura Perrins
Labour Marginal Fright | Lord Ashcroft
Osborne’ Real Deficit Reduction Record | ConHome
Blameronism | Peter Oborne
Everyone Can Lose | Staggers
Splintering of the Left | Tim Montgomerie


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Labour insiders turn on Ed over Powell’s latest gaffe:

“When is he going to stop promoting useless people? He was warned about her.”


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