Crispin Pleads for Poppers

blunt-poppersThis afternoon could see the the banning of amyl nitrate “poppers” – a psychoactive substance popular in the gay community and with clubbers. Crispin Blunt is worried about the government banning poppers and has emailed fellow MPs:

From: BLUNT, Crispin
Sent: 20 January 2016 13:06
Subject: Psychoactive Substances Bill
Importance: High

Dear all,

This afternoon there may be an amendment moved to support the Home Affairs Select Committee’s recommendation to exempt alkyl nitrates, also known as “poppers” from the Psychoactive Substances Bill. The relative paragraph is 45 of their first report:

“We accept the evidence given by Professor Iversen, the National Aids Trust, and the Gay Men’s Health Collective on alkyl nitrites, also known as ‘poppers’. Professor Iversen said ‘poppers’ were “not seen to be capable of having harmful effects sufficient to constitute a societal problem” and therefore we recommend they should not be banned. If in the future there is any evidence produced to the contrary, then ‘poppers’ should be removed from the exempted list or controlled under the Misuse of Drugs Act”.

I am very concerned about this measure which would have the consequences outlined in paragraph 43 of the Home Affairs Select Committee report.

If amendment 5 is put, I will be voting for it, and I hope Colleagues will join me so that they might at least not be party to a grave error of judgement by the Government.

Yours ever,

Crispin

Guido understands that inhalation of poppers at the point of orgasm results in an extended woooooohhhh!

UPDATE: “I use poppers, I out myself as a popper user, and would be directly affected by this legislation.”

Ireland To Decriminalise Drugs

ireland

Guid O’Fawkes is pleased to report that the Ireland is to decriminalise drugs for personal use. From 2016 the possession of small quantities of drugs, including heroin, cocaine, and cannabis, will no longer be a criminal offence. Aodhán Ó Ríordáin, the chief of Ireland’s National Drugs Strategy, has spoken of the need for a ‘radical cultural shift’ in how drug use is viewed. Ahh, the green, green grass of home…

Delingpole on Druggy Dave

James Delingpole recalls “a beautiful sunny afternoon in the summer of 1985”, where he, a young David Cameron and another James “are sitting cross-legged in an oak-panelled room high above one of Oxford’s grandest college quads stoned out of their brains on marijuana”.

“Check that out!” says Dave. His father’s a wealthy stockbroker; like the other James, he went to Eton; he’s very good at tennis, he’s got a gorgeous girlfriend called Fran and he speaks in the richy, fruity voice of one who knows he is born to rule.

“Check what out?” I say. Of the three, I’m the least posh. I only went to a ‘minor public school’ and I speak with a slight Birmingham accent.

“That amazing drum sound,” says Dave. “Where the beats all go close together and kind of merge into one.”

“Oh yeah. The flam” says James, who knows his music.

“Yeah the flam,” agrees Dave. “Maybe that’s what we should call ourselves: The Flam Club.”

“And what exactly is the purpose of the Flam Club, exactly?” I ask.

“We sit around getting stoned and listening out for the flams on Supertramp albums,” explains Dave.

Read the full account over on Breitbart here

Lord Coke Won’t Face Charges

lord sewel

Developing…

Who Squealed?

The hunt is on to find out which current Tory MP and contemporary of Dave at Oxford squealed. Guido makes no allegations about any of those listed below for information purposes only…

  • Michael Gove: He was a gossipy young wannabe journalist at the time and enjoyed a wild university experience himself. Most famously Gove was accused in the Cherwell student newspaper of participating in a “five-in-a-bed romp” while president of the Oxford Union debating society.
  • Rory Stewart: According to lifelong friend Felix Martin, Rory was a leading member of the Piers Gaveston Society”, the debauched Oxford club at which Dave allegedly did the deed. A few years younger than the future PM, though…
  • Boris Johnson: A former Buller man and also reportedly an alumnus of Piers Gaveston, Boris was famously snapped with Dave in the picture they tried to ban. Is there another more revealing photo in existence?
  • Ed Vaizey: Was at Oxford at the same time as Dave, where he was known as “Tubby Teddy” or “Fat Eddie“. Like Dave, also one of the Notting Hill set.
  • Mark Field: Two years above Cameron, the Tory backbencher was news editor of Cherwell and renowned for his own youthful exuberance. When he ended his term as Junior Common Room president, Field apparentlyran round the college quad between the strokes of midnight singing the Red Flag, naked except for a pair of boxer shorts, his bare skin coated in baby oil“.
  • Mark Harper: A couple of years below Dave, Harper is a fellow Brasenose College alumnus, and was another PPEist. Now Cameron’s chief whip…
  • Nick Boles: A year older than Cameron at Oxford, where he was a young Tory activist and another Notting Hill setter.

So, whodunnit?

Pic via @GeneralBoles

#PigGate #SnoutRage: Internet Reacts

According to Lord Ashcroft and a single-source unnamed Tory MP, David Cameron placed “a private part of his anatomy” into a dead pig’s mouth during an initiation at Oxford. This is how the internet responded to the news:

The packed out Lobby briefing this morning is going to be about hamage control…

Corbynistas Already Planning Victory Rally

There might be a month until the ballot closes, but that hasn’t stopped some excitable Corbyn supporters from organising a mass “victory party” for their man on September 12:

Nearly 1,000 people have already signed up to attend the event, which sounds just great:

Will they be flying the red flag through the streets of London, or are they a tad premature?

Burnham’s Big Pharma Fudge

You might have thought the Shadow Health Secretary would want to have his say on the brewing Pfizer scandal, which has seen the drugs giant accused of overcharging the NHS for epilepsy treatments. Surely this is an opportunity for the Labour leadership candidate holding the health brief to stand up to those big nasty drugs corporations?

Guido has invited Burnham’s people to comment several times over the last 24 hours, but alas they did not want to give a line. Only a cynic would think that silence has anything to with Burnham’s campaign director being uber-lobbyist John Lehal, managing director at Insight Consulting Group, whose clients include… Pfizer. Pure coincidence, Guido is sure…

Lord Sewel Full Statement Text

LORD-COKE

Lord Sewel has this morning contacted the Clerk of the Parliaments indicating his intention to terminate his Membership of the House of Lords with immediate effect. In his correspondence to the Clerk Lord Sewel issued the following statement:

“I have

[…]

+ READ MORE +

Met Police Raid Lord Coke’s Dolphin Square Flat

[…]

+ READ MORE +

Harman Horror at Penile Drugs Injection

Guido was having a Friday afternoon peruse of the Southwark News when he suddenly crossed his legs and winced:

Southwark council leader Peter John recalls the time Harriet Harman visited the Ayelsbury council estate with a local councillor:

“They were

[…]

+ READ MORE +

Green Party Press Office Glasto Come Down

lucas bennett

The Green Party press office has had a ‘mare this morning, sending out a series of competing emails as both Caroline Lucas and Natalie Bennett vied for attention. It seems no one is quite sure who the real leader of […]

+ READ MORE +



Tip offs: 0709 284 0531
team@Order-order.com

Quote of the Day

Tim Farron is asked by GQ how he will be remembered:

“I won’t be. So there’s no point in worrying about how you’d like to be remembered at all.”

Top Posts This Week

Guidogram: Sign up

Subscribe to the most succinct 7 days a week daily email read by thousands of Westminster insiders.

Facebook

EU CABINET GUIDE: WHITTO MOVES UP, GOVE TORN EU CABINET GUIDE: WHITTO MOVES UP, GOVE TORN
PROTESTER CHUCKS DILDO AT MINISTER PROTESTER CHUCKS DILDO AT MINISTER
LEAVE 9 POINTS AHEAD SINCE DAVE’S DEAL LEAVE 9 POINTS AHEAD SINCE DAVE’S DEAL
VENEZUELA FORCED TO FLY IN PLANELOADS OF CASH VENEZUELA FORCED TO FLY IN PLANELOADS OF CASH
SILLY SAUSAGE: TORY MP’S COMMONS DOUBLE ENTENDRE SILLY SAUSAGE: TORY MP’S COMMONS DOUBLE ENTENDRE
SRAELI EX-AMBASSADOR ‘LATE NIGHT VISITS’ SCANDAL BREWING SRAELI EX-AMBASSADOR ‘LATE NIGHT VISITS’ SCANDAL BREWING
UKIP WARNS OF RISK OF TURKEY JOINING EU UKIP WARNS OF RISK OF TURKEY JOINING EU
HIGHEST-EARNING MP DIDN’T NOTICE £400,000 INCOME HIGHEST-EARNING MP DIDN’T NOTICE £400,000 INCOME
BORIS’ NEW BALDNESS-BATTLING BARNET BORIS’ NEW BALDNESS-BATTLING BARNET
GUIDO’S FASHION TIPS: GET THE GRASSROOTS OUT UNIFORM GUIDO’S FASHION TIPS: GET THE GRASSROOTS OUT UNIFORM
BORIS AND FARAGE PAN DAVE’S RED CARD BORIS AND FARAGE PAN DAVE’S RED CARD
WHEN CAMERON AND OSBORNE LAUGHED AT A ‘RED CARD’ WHEN CAMERON AND OSBORNE LAUGHED AT A ‘RED CARD’
SADIQ DUCKS CITY AIRPORT ROW SADIQ DUCKS CITY AIRPORT ROW
DIRE POST-DEAL PAPERS FOR PM DIRE POST-DEAL PAPERS FOR PM
FABBERS’ VOMIT-INDUCING EUROPHILES REVEALED FABBERS’ VOMIT-INDUCING EUROPHILES REVEALED
UNION BARON: “ALL THE TORIES ARE AN ABSOLUTE DISGRACE, THEY SHOULD BE TAKEN OUT AND SHOT” UNION BARON: “ALL THE TORIES ARE AN ABSOLUTE DISGRACE, THEY SHOULD BE TAKEN OUT AND SHOT”
STELLA THE ‘HASH SMOKING MOROCCAN TOURIST’ STELLA THE ‘HASH SMOKING MOROCCAN TOURIST’
CORBYN BROTHER’S BIZARRE RESPONSE TO DEATH OF MAN AND 4 YEAR OLD SON: “LOL” CORBYN BROTHER’S BIZARRE RESPONSE TO DEATH OF MAN AND 4 YEAR OLD SON: “LOL”
BORIS: DAVE’S DEAL NOT GOOD ENOUGH BORIS: DAVE’S DEAL NOT GOOD ENOUGH
9 SPECIFIC DEMANDS DAVE WANTED FROM BRUSSELS 9 SPECIFIC DEMANDS DAVE WANTED FROM BRUSSELS
CRUZ TRUMPS THE DONALD IN IOWA CRUZ TRUMPS THE DONALD IN IOWA
Crowdfunding “Brexit the Movie” Crowdfunding “Brexit the Movie”
CORBYN SURGES AHEAD OF FOOT CORBYN SURGES AHEAD OF FOOT
HOW FRIENDS OF THE EARTH DODGE CHARITY REGULATIONS HOW FRIENDS OF THE EARTH DODGE CHARITY REGULATIONS
CORBYN AIDE: I THINK WE SHOULD SHOOT WOODCOCK CORBYN AIDE: I THINK WE SHOULD SHOOT WOODCOCK
TEQUILA SCAMMERS: LANSMAN’S LATE NIGHT SECRET ELECTION TEQUILA SCAMMERS: LANSMAN’S LATE NIGHT SECRET ELECTION
Comments & Readership Comments & Readership
MCDONNELL’S PARTIALLY PUBLISHED TAX RETURN MCDONNELL’S PARTIALLY PUBLISHED TAX RETURN
COCKNEY DONALD TRUMP COCKNEY DONALD TRUMP