Gerald Kaufmann has made a big hoo-ha about getting a reply from Downing Street signed by “Mrs E Adams”, a made up pen name used by Downing Street correspondents. As you can see she was employed by Gordon Brown. Gordon Brown liked to use imaginary staff. He put Miss Money Fairy in charge of the deficit.

Chris Huhne’s posturing at Cabinet has been well reported elsewhere. Apparently he cares so much about the AV campaign that he openly challenged the Prime Minister at Cabinet. He then fully briefed hacks within minutes that he’d done so.

He certainly seems wound up, and there is even speculation that he could walk on Friday when the LibDems are decimated locally and in all likelihood the “Yes to AV” Campaign is defeated. This anger feels fake to Guido though. Perhaps Huhne’s mistress, Carina Trimingham. who is on the “Yes to AV” campaign, has him on a Lysistrata-like no-win-no-lay policy. 

There wouldn’t be much love lost if the manoeuvring Huhne did walk. It would solve the where to put David Laws problem in one. Though Huhne could stir from the backbenches, he should remember that Helseltine was actually popular and liked before he wielded his knife. And he had better hair too…

Cameron has seen the error of his ways and realised that he is very low down on the agenda at the Royal Wedding and should not use State occasions for tacky political gimmicks. After confirming to James Forsyth at the weekend that the PM would not be wearing a tail coat at the wedding, a spokesman reaffirmed the lounge suit line to Reuters yesterday. Since then the PM has been attacked by pretty much everyone, including Boris, with the Telegraph particularly heartbroken. It’s no surprise then that No.10 have had one of those “fix this quickly” whispers in Ben Brogan’s ear this morning:

“Of course he’s got to wear tails. He knows that. He’s the Prime Minister, it’s the Royal family, there will be foreign dignitaries present and it is only right that he dresses for the importance of the occasion,” 

The source went on to stress that Dave hadn’t been properly consulted and blamed a spinner. Seems this is another episode where the chance to pull off a cheap gimmick has been totally misjudged in terms of the public mood and it has subsequently unravelled. Commonsense, duty and politeness 1, Steve Hilton nil.

Kay Burley sails close to the wind in her political bonkbuster ‘First Ladies.’ Guido has touched on the similarities to certain real life ladies involved the the Blair-like PM in the novel already. Not content with upsetting the lawyers there, Kay pushes things even further…

In the most shocking scene in the book, “Valerie”, nearly dies after taking a drink and drugs overdose in the No. 10 flat, while her husband ‘Julian’, the Blair-like PM, is at a tryst with one of his mistresses. She is discovered unconscious in the middle of the night by her 13 year old daughter. No. 10 officials try to stop doctors rushing her to hospital to stop the press from finding out.

Any similarity between this and a real life drama in No. 10 concerning the Blair family is pure coincidence.

The congregation of St Peters Church in Hammersmith are getting used to a new star amongst the flock. A slightly more-on-the-ball parishioner noticed some subtler changes too. Naturally the people of Japan were at the forefront of the vicar’s request for prayers, but there was some confusion to why the local Tory council was in his thoughts this week. The government too…

The vicar also discussed the importance of solving unemployment and even invited his flock to a big society-esque meeting about  finding  jobs this Wednesday at a local pub. Regulars definitely noticed a change in tone that can only be explained by the leather jacket-clad “trendy dad” Craig Oliver, who was seen chatting away with the vicar for so long at the end that he caused a queue to get out. Guido can only assume Oliver was thanking the vicar for the government’s new found backing from God.

After a hounding from the Lobby and the print press in the last few days, there are already those who question whether Craig Oliver will last very long in his new role. Though he may have had a rough time since accidentally briefing against Andrew, as well as being stand-offish with the darlings of the Lobby, the former Beeboid has come out fighting…

Infuriated hacks seeking to cover John Hutton’s pension review for this morning’s editions of the papers were under a strict embargo of 8 a.m., meaning the coverage could be crafted on the airwaves by interviews this morning. A grumpy spinner said last night ”It’s meant to be for broadcast tomorrow and the papers the next day”, something the Mail and Express promptly ignored. Seems someone is getting the hang of this string pulling malarkey…

When Gordon Brown took his Cabinet away to Leeds for the day in 2009 the Tories were quick to pounce on his wasteful spending. Robert Goodwill, the then Shadow Minister for Leeds went on the attack:

“The cost of hosting them given the increased security is something that should be borne by Labour rather than by the taxpayer. I can understand them wanting to show their presence in Yorkshire for political reasons.”

And there was plenty of wider condemnation of the idea. The Taxpayers’ Alliance’s Mark Wallace, for it was he, said “These meetings are expensive and of dubious worth to areas that the Cabinet chooses to visit.” Yesterday David Cameron took his Cabinet away to Derby for the day.

Asking around, you can see why they look like a good idea. The Civil service like them because it gets those pesky ministers out out of the way so they can run the country for a couple of hours and the party machines love the fact they get some coverage and face-time in marginal seats, with all the transport and logistical costs paid for. The regional lobby even get spoonfed. As one former Labour SpAd put it to Guido:

“The whole comms side of government and regional offices get to rev their engines. Everyone wins except the taxpayer. I actually hoped the Tories would stop that bollocks, but no.”

Robert Goodwill MP is very quiet today.

There is an air of chaos in Westminster today. Firstly Craig Oliver was all in a spin after being refused entry by Downing Street security, but that’s nothing on the mess that the capture of the SAS troops and our “diplomat” in the desert has caused. Hague, who has taken his eye off various balls recently, looks like he is being hung out to dry on this one. He will be before the House at three thirty, but not before a Whitehall source mouthed off to the BBC confirming he personally authorised the mission, despite little evidence our overtures were welcome. It’s almost as if No.10 has other matters on their plate…

The Prince Andrew story has gone nuclear, not least because an-as-of-yet-un-named SpAd briefed in Cardiff over the weekend that “one more story” and Andrew would be out. Cue a mass shaking of the branch by every hack. Another briefing, perhaps by the same chatty character, said “no tears would be shed” at Andrews departure. A long cry from the official line this morning that the Duke has the government’s full confidence. It’s times like this that real weak spots are being exposed and a bad day for Dave and co to go gallivanting up north for a gimmicky Cabinet Away Day. No wonder it’s open season on SpAds according to Ben Brogan…

UPDATE: Mark Wallace notices that SpAd’s are even using Malcom Tucker’s favourite “omnishambles”. You could make it up…

Guido did mention last week that the gentlemen of the Lobby are as thin-skinned and status conscious as a gaggle of gay hairdressers on a night out, and that Craig Oliver will need to up his game. It seems Craig takes the opposite view. He is treating them mean to keep ‘em keen.

At the Conservative’s Spring Forum in Cardiff yesterday Coulson’s successor arranged to meet a group of political editors in a hotel on one side of Cardiff and then went to another hotel to meet a different group of political editors. Guido admires the casual contempt implicit in his handling of the jumped up copy takers…

The gentlemen of the Lobby are as thin-skinned and status conscious as a gaggle of gay hairdressers on a night out, so Craig Oliver will need to up his game. The Lobby already have their noses a little out of joint because Downing Street hired a bloke off the telly, BBC TV at that, rather than one of their own. Downing Street implicitly signalling to the ink-stained old hands of the Lobby that telly is more important than they are in the great scheme of things.

When Craig visited the press gallery this week to introduce himself (sans bumbag) there was the usual faux bonhomie on both sides. The inkies and the TV luvvie meet and greet was respectful if not warm. Asked for his mobile number Craig put one political editor in their place thus “you can get me through the switchboard”.