Wednesday, January 9, 2013

Patrick Rock – Dave’s Quiet Bat Person

Another direct hit for Downing Street snapper Steve Back of Political Pictures. You will remember his handiwork involving Oliver Letwin, government papers and a park bin. His photos have let the Telegraph put a nice spanner into the Coalition Review, with Cameron’s fixer Patrick Rock getting snapped flashing embarrassing documents showing just how stage managed the whole relaunch is. The news getting out that “problematic areas” will lead to “unfavourable copy” for “broken pledges” is an unusual public cock up for the most powerful Cameron adviser most people have never heard of…

Rock and Dave go back to the Home Office under the progressive days of Michael Howard. The story goes that on the day John Smith died they went drinking in the Two Chairmen, where they “both agreed that Blair coming meant that we [Conservatives] would be f**ked.” Guido understands that Rock was behind the vetoing of  former Policy Exchange Director Neil O’Brien joining the No.10 team, resulting in O’Brien going to No.11 to work for Osborne instead. Rock has been working under the public radar in Downing Street since spring 2011 and after this nightmare, he will likely keep an even lower profile… 

Monday, December 31, 2012

World Exclusive: Jean Michel Jarre Says Au Revoir Socialism
Rock Star’s Secret Downing Street Talks About London Move

JARRE

Jean Michel Jarre, the only French global rock star, has been into Downing Street to discuss moving to London to escape Francois Hollande’s tax hikes. The French President wants confiscatory 75% tax rates for high earners.

In secrecy Jarre recently visited Number 10 to discuss his “defection”. The news that Downing Street is involved in discussions with another high profile tax exile from France will cause outrage in the Elysee Palace. Gerard Depardieu’s planned flight from Paris to a small village less than half a mile across the Belgian border caused an uproar and French Prime Minister Jean-Marc Ayrault  went so far as to call him “pathetic.”

gerarDepardieu countered that “I am leaving because you believe that success, creation, talent, anything different must be sanctioned”. Cinema legends such as Brigitte Bardot and Catherine Denueve quickly jumped in with statements of support for Depardieu. The rock star’s move comes shortly after Bernard Arnault, CEO of luxury giant LVMH and France’s richest man, national hero Johnny Hallyday and actor Alain Delon have also left France for tax reasons. London estate agents report French investment bankers, private equity financiers and high paid entrepreneurs making inquiries.

hollande-no-10When Hollande announced his 75% tax rate plan Cameron joked that he would “roll out the red carpet” for French tax exiles to the expressed annoyance of the Elysee Palace. French ministers widely criticised Cameron. The news that it was not mere rhetoric and Downing Street would literally welcome French rock star tax exiles onto the red carpet at No. 10 will infuriate President Hollande…

UPDATE: Downing Street were at lunchtime knocking down this story, by late afternoon they changed their synthesiser tune and said Jarre was indeed in talks to move his technology company to the government sponsored Tech City in London. Where the taxes are lower…

Guido’s Downing Street source says “He’s been into No. 10 to talk to us about defection – it’s like a crappy old spy movie…” The channel replacing the Berlin Wall, with French capitalists fleeing socialist France for freedom…

Friday, December 21, 2012

Andrew Mitchell V the World

Not content with claiming to have his honour all but restored, important to a man with such a long and distinguished military career, Andrew Mitchell is stepping up his fight and going directly after Met boss Bernard Hogan Howe. As Guido pointed out the other day, the heat is on the Commissioner after his very public backing of the officers involved, despite the fact that even the Police Federation are running for the hills now. Mitchell says he has ‘no confidence’ in Hogan Howe, but how he can totally clear his name still remains to be seen. Perhaps one of them should hire the services of Jon Gaunt, the former DJ, who did spin wonders for the Police Federation’s campaign back in the autumn…

Thursday, December 20, 2012

Police Union Sweating

Paul McKeever, the rent-a-rozzer head of the Police Federation has told the BBC this afternoon that he would be “first in queue to apologise” if Mitchell has “been done a calumny.” Which reminded Guido of what the very same police union were saying during the autumn:

“Members of the West Midlands Police Federation said Andrew Mitchell had “no option but to resign”, following a meeting with the chief whip. They said Mr Mitchell repeated a “profound apology with feeling” but continued to deny using the words attributed to him during an outburst at police officers outside Number 10. This meant his position had become “untenable”, they said.”

Apparently he now feels “we can all say we can do things better” when asked about his aggressive campaign to decapitate the former Chief Whip. Guido isn’t sure it’s going to be that easy for the militant union, if Mitchell does eventually vindicate himself…

Blow for Internet Freedom

Claire Perry and Paul Dacre’s plan to censor the internet by putting up mandatory firewalls is back on. Despite expert advice saying it is a waste of time and civil liberties groups hammering their keyboards, the numbers in the crucial mothers polling group must be telling No. 10 something. Taking to the Mail today, Dave says:

“…with our new system, every parent will be prompted to protect their child online. If they don’t make choices, protection will be automatically on. No other Government has taken such radical steps before. And once all this is in place, Britain will have the most robust internet child protection measures of any country in the world – bar none.

To get all this underway, I have appointed Claire Perry MP to be my adviser on preventing the sexualisation and commercialisation of childhood. Claire is a passionate campaigner for internet safety and mother of three. Her job will be to see this through, to get internet companies on board, to do what it takes to protect children and young people online.All this comes back to something really important. It’s not just about the internet, or modern technology – it’s about childhood.”

She finally gets that long conveted promotion then. Presumably the new filter would block kids searching about Perry’s more passionate moments?

Wednesday, December 19, 2012

Heat Is On For Hogan Howe

Yesterday Met Commissioner Bernard Hogan Howe clearly said of the coming Mitchell twists:

“I don’t think, in terms of what I’ve heard up to now, that it’s really affected the original account of the officers at the scene.”

Except the fact that the original account said:

“There were several members of public present as is the norm opposite the pedestrian gate… The members of public looked visibly shocked.”

Which members of the public were they then?

Tuesday, December 18, 2012

PICTURE: First Shot of Mitchell CCTV Emerges

Michael Crick looks set to seriously undermine the police log version of events at seven…

Monday, November 12, 2012

Patten Defends Indefensible Entwistle Pay-Off
Government Stand-Off Brewing

The BBC chairman defending the indefensible – Entwistle’s huge pay-off despite only being contracted for less:

So far Downing Street have said this is “hard to justify”. Any upping in that rhetoric and this will be a full blown stand-off…

Wednesday, October 31, 2012

No.10 Musical Chairs

Susie Squire, formerly of the Taxpayers’ Alliance, has made it to No. 10 via DWP and CCHQ – the glamorous brunette will be covering for another glamorous brunette, Gabby Bertin, while she is on maternity leave as Dave’s political spokesman. There also appears to be movements on the new Prime Minister’s Official Spokesman:

Craig Oliver remains the Director of Government Communications…

Monday, October 29, 2012

Sir Jeremy Wormtongue and Other Tales

Guido’s favourite bit of this week’s Daily Star Sunday column was giving Sir Jeremy Heywood’s whispered nickname a wider audience:

“DISQUIET about Downing Street’s shambolic grip on the Government machine has given way to open speculation about the No.10 team. Whispers are growing about the amount of power seized by slippery senior civil servant Sir Jeremy Heywood. With him having the PM’s ear, insiders have nicknamed the pasty-skinned Sir Jeremy “Wormtongue”, after the sinister character in The Lord Of The Rings who whispered poison to the king to further his own agenda.”

Don’t miss Marr, Bryant and Balls in the rest of the column, now online here.


Seen Elsewhere

Cocaine Conservatives | Standard
Jezza Browne Responds to LibDem Haters | LibDem Voice
Why Britain Needs to Leave the EU | Douglas Carswell
Literally No One is Watching London Live | MediaGuido
Who Tells Ed When He’s Wrong? | Speccie
Hands Off Our Cojones, Mr Clegg | Laura Perrins
London Live Averaging Just 2,400 Viewers | Forbes
Ed’s Constitutional Failure | ConHome
UKIP Poster Girl’s Naked Photos | Sun
Miliband’s Radical Old Labour Agenda | Fraser Nelson
Meet Team Miliband | Dan Hodges


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A confused Nick Griffin says Nigel Farage is a shill for the City, forgetting that City banks want to stay in the EU:

“Farage is a snake oil salesman, but a very good one. His supposed anti-immigration stance is all smoke and mirrors, as is his carefully cultivated image as a ‘man of the people’. The truth is that UKIP is a pro-immigration party that exists to lobby for the interests of the City of London.”



Nick Clegg says:

Do you want lies with that?


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