Spice Up Your Wife

haliwell-downing-streetOur ending-celebrity-culture Prime Mentalist had Gerri Halliwell visiting Downing Street this week.  Not sure what the Spice Girl was doing, perhaps she was advising Sarah on push up bras or maybe Gordon on monetary policy.  Both equally as likely.

haliwell

Marina Hyde’s Lost in Showbiz Blog* is excellent on the subject.  It is from her that Guido learns that Geri said “I love talking about poo and wee”.  Aha, it all becomes clear…

*Years ago in the infancy of this blog a number of stories and jokes got recycled in Marina’s Guardian Diary without attribution.  A heated exchange of emails followed and the recycling stopped. Note Guido’s careful attribution.

Knives are Out for Harman

Harriet is protesting that she is loyal and loudly asking “who is briefing against me?” The Brownies of course – that is their stock in trade. A little snippet appears in the FT under Sue Cameron’s byline – though the original author is undoubtedly a Brown henchman.
Harriet Harman (now there’s a woman who knows how to frighten the horses) will be introducing her equalities bill next month. Word is that she has asked her officials to ensure that there are some disabled people in the Commons gallery when the bill is launched, adding: “And it would help if some of them were black.”

That is a perfect example of the kind of poison so often dripped by Damian McBride. Detailed, probably true and obtained by one of his press officer snouts to damage Harman. Expect a lot more of that sort of thing if she keeps make leadership signals.

Gordon’s Other Eye in Downing Street

Jeremy Clarkson has apologised for mocking Gordon Brown’s appearance – note he did not apologise for calling him an idiot. So the matter is closed says a Downing Street spokesman.

Guido can’t help wondering if the person who chose to hang David Austen’s “Green Electric Morning – Eye” picture from the National Art Collection on the wall in Downing Street might also be having a laugh.

Wonder what Gordon thinks of it everytime he spies the eye out of the side of his one good eye?

Perhaps he uses it as a target for his Nokias?

Another Downing Street Aide Quits

Ben Brogan reports that Gordon Brown’s newly appointed “Strategic Communications Adviser” Nick Stace has lasted nine months. That long, eh?

He is off to Australia to get as far away as possible from the Prime Mentalist to take up a new job. The Downing Street bunker is returning to the hardcore plus Mandelson. Not a happy place is it?

Something that the Lobby Didn’t Tell You

The gentlemen of the Lobby have kept pretty schtum about the drink fuelled circumstances of the Ruth Kelly briefing by Damian McBride at at 3 a.m during Labour Party conference. Danny Finkelstein is alluding to it indirectly.

Guido understands that the PM’s Spokesman had a bottle of beer in his hand during the briefing. Your taxes at work….

Maguire and McBride Plotting Over Pints

Tucked away in a dark corner of the Westminster Arms yesterday evening Guido spied the Mirror’s political editor and the PM’s infamous spin doctor self-medicating. McSnide looked very rough. The Ollie Reed of blogging is no position to criticise, but Damian really looks like he has been hitting it hard. Bloated. Suppose it must be tough in the bunker. In Berlin in 1945 they were dosing themselves up to the eyeballs on amphetamines to escape from the inevitable reality. Damian should think about switching his medications, amphetamines are slimming.

Coincidentally there has been another round of rumours in Labour circles that, as they retreat further from the reality-based community, Maguire is going to be called in to wage the coming Class War from Downing Street itself. Guido thinks it is wishful thinking, Maguire maybe many things, but he is not that stupid. He knows a loser when he sees one.

His script has however been noticeably more loyal to Brown lately:

“Gordon Brown is aiming for the Right target”
“Chancellor Alistair Darling should shut up”
“Gordon Brown must strike back at the doom-mongers”
“Panicking Labour MPs need to chill out”

Who knows…?

Downing Street is Running Out of Rats

Another rat is leaving the sinking Downing Street ship.  Paul Sinclair, formerly Wee Dougie Alexander’s SpAd before becoming the Prime Mentalist’s Scottish spin doctor, is jumping ship ahead of the Glenrothes by-election.  He is off to spin at Hill & Knowlton according to Paul Waugh.  Sinclair was considered a potential candidate in Glenrothes…

Wilf Helping With the Re-Launch

Bill Jamieson reports that the former head of the Smith Institute, Wilf Stevonson, is working in the Downing Street bunker on the “economic recovery plan“.  With Ed Balls and Shriti Vadera completing the dream team of wonks.  That would explain why it is going so well…
The worst wonk in Westminster, plus Balls (famous for his endogenous growth theory) and Shriti – the financial genius who designed the tube’s disastrous financing package – are just the brains to get us out of the no growth, over-taxed, rising stagflation hole the economy is in.  The Treasury is we are told cut out of the loop.

Carter Out of the Bonkers Bunker?

The Indy’s Jane Merrick is reporting “that Stephen Carter, Mr Brown’s high-profile strategist, is to leave his job after a bitter turf war inside Downing Street. The public relations guru’s move to a lower-key role is a victory for the Prime Minister’s long-serving advisers….”

Guido is cautious about the story because it smacks of wishful thinking by some in the Brown bunker, Carter and Muir have not been sugar-coating the dire focus group feedback.

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Downing Street Website Fails To Meet Government Guidelines

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Courageously Risk Your Life Undercover and Downing Street Digital Team Will Put Your Picture Up

When not stealing other people’s creative products and passing it off as their own the Downing Street digital team ignore 50,000 petitioners to make funny videos. No one is laughing tonight.

So pleased are they with the functionality of their Flickr photo album they had pictures of flowers from the garden up today – oh and a picture of an undercover police officer.
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Your Taxes at Work in Downing Street

We would actually rather have Jeremy Clarkson as PM…

Fact : more people voted for Clarkson to be PM than Gordon.

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Number10.gov.uk

Dizzy got the scoop:

UPDATE : Just had a look under the hood. It is built using WordPress software. Downing Street has become a blog site…

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+++ Stamp Duty Fiasco : Source – McBride Leaked Sun Story +++

Caroline Flint on Newsnight last night was hilarious – “Kirsty, Kirsty, Kirsty” she kept forlornly shouting on the two-way to studio.

In all fairness she has the worst job in government right now – Housing Minister. It can’t have helped that some moronic briefing to the Sun has brought a stagnant property market to a complete halt – why exchange now when if you wait until September you can save thousands in stamp duty?

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Byrne Fires on Downing Street

Colin Byrne, CEO of mega-spin merchants, Weber Shandwick, is a former protege of Mandelson and was the Labour Party’s chief press officer from 1988 to 1992. He has his own blog and has, judging by his latest post, had enough of the team of second raters around Gordon.[…]

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Guido Says Jump, Downing Street Geeks Jump

Guido asked where were the promised answers due at the end of last month on Sunday, and again on Tuesday. Today, after Guido’s prompting and some prolonged dithering, we have the “answers” – basically the usual platitudes.

The best questioner asks the PM why should he be PM?[…]

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