Monday, August 18, 2008

Don’t Know About Guardian Polling

Fresh from underestimating how much their editor makes (the paper reported Alan Rusbridger making £143,000 less than £544,000 the annual report stated) they have just reported the polling intentions of 101% of the population.

Ladies and gentlemen, the ever reliable Grauniad…

Thursday, August 7, 2008

Labourgraph Spinning for Brown

Yesterday a number of co-conspirators emailed to draw attention to the Labourgraph story about Milburn being offered the Chancellor-ship by Miliband. Guido ignored the story because he thought it was transparently crap.

The rebuttals are now in and they are clear “absolute bollocks” from Milburn and “work of fiction” from Milband. If this is the Brownies being clever it is idiotic, it was written by journalists known to be sympathetic to Gordon. Rosa should really go back to the Mirror, she is trying single-handedly to stand up her story today with not a single on the record quote. Laughable. Sooner or later the Barclay brothers will realise their newspaper’s brand and culture is being destroyed – along with the profitability.

UPDATE : Rosa is denying all the suspicions on the Labourgraph blog.

Thursday, July 31, 2008

Disquiet Grows About Hypocritical Guardian’s 4.99% Tax Rate

The Telegraph’s city pages have caught up this morning with Guido’s revelation yesterday that GMG, the owners of the Guardian, perfectly legally had an effective tax rate of 4.99% after taking advantage of a tax holiday last year despite making a headline profit of £300m from the disposal of 49.9% of Auto Trader.
The hypocrisy of them attacking Tesco for tax avoidance when they themselves pay an even lower rate of tax is laughable. (They are currently in the libel courts and look like they are going to lose to Tesco having already admitted their story was bollocks).

The Telegraph quoted Grant Thornton’s senior tax partner Mike Warburton saying: “Guardian Media Group has enjoyed a tax holiday courtesy of some very helpful rules introduced by their friend Gordon Brown. They are taking full advantage of the relief legally available to them, which all businesses should do. That’s fine, but don’t knock people who do exactly the same.”

This is almost as much fun as Polly hypocritically banging on about airplane carbon emissions before hopping on a flight to her Tuscan villa. See Richard Littlejohn’s fantastic bitch-slap here

Wednesday, July 30, 2008

Guardian Underestimates Fat Cat Editor’s Package

Must be tricky reporting the compensation package of your fat cat boss – could be a career choice moment. Here is how Stephen Brook, press correspondent for the Guardian handles it:
GMG Execs’ Salaries Revealed

The Guardian editor-in-chief, Alan Rusbridger, received total salary and benefits of £401,000 in the past financial year…

Which is odd because the annual report released this morning says Alan Rusbridger gets £401,000 in salary/fees and benefits in kind* plus £143,000 employer’s contribution to his pension. A total of £544,000 as reported on this blog this morning…

*The benefit in kind is not what you think, she denies it. Guido believes the minx.

Guardian Lost £26.4 Million Last Year

Guardian News & Media (GNM), publishers of the Guardian and the Observer increased operating losses to £26.4m. The parent owners GMG would also have reported operating losses of £24.8 million were it not for the £334.8m sale of a 49.9% stake in Auto Trader, to Ronnie Cohen’s evil capitalist private equity vultures, Apax Partners. The online arm’s separate Guardian Unlimited identity has been dropped (it was more unkindly known by some as “Guardian Unlimited Losses”).

Incidentally the annual report reveals they paid £15.3 million in taxes last year despite claiming a group profit before taxation of £306.4 million after the sale of Auto Trader. GMG have always been adept at using the Scott Trust and other dodges to minimise tax charges. Guido congratulates them on achieving an effective tax rate 4.99%. Remember that the next time Polly Toynbee calls for higher taxes and everyone to pay a fair share.

Controversial Smith Institute trustee and Chairman of the Guardian Media Group Paul Myners warned: “We expect the uncertainty within the UK economy to have an impact on a number of the group’s revenue streams in the coming year.” Translation : we will lose more money next year.

Incidentally, Guardian editor Alan Rusbridger got by on a total compensation package of a mere £544000 up from £473,000 last year. A 15% increase as a reward for losing £26.4 million – no belt tightening for him.

Handy having your friends, rather than shareholders, decide your pay isn’t it?

Tuesday, July 29, 2008

Is it Silly Season Yet?

Saturday, July 26, 2008

Mirror Does Dave a Favour, Yeah Right…

Guido isn’t the only one suspicious of the Mirror’s recovery of Dave’s nicked bike, plus their fortuitous video footage of him looking stunned when it was nicked. They have been following him around on his bike in the past, videoing him jumping red lights. They have also rooted around in his dustbins to find out if he used disposable nappies.

Wouldn’t be a great leap of the imagination for them to come up with the “nick his bike” wheeze – would it? This is the paper that put faked up photos of British soldiers abusing Iraqi prisoners on the front page…

Friday, July 25, 2008

New York Times Mediasaur Downgraded to Junk

Warren Buffet famously said the internet was good for capitalism, not capitalists. The New York Times is supposedly the world’s premier newspaper and is learning the meaning of that truth. The internet will kill newspapers, Guido has been telling sceptical dead tree hacks this for years. The Guardian’s expensive shiny new HQ being built in Kings Cross will be a museum eventually. This affirmation has come across the wire

NEW YORK (Standard & Poor’s)– Standard & Poor’s Ratings Services today placed its ratings for The New York Times Co., including the ‘BBB-‘ corporate credit rating, on CreditWatch with negative implications.

Just in case some old hacks from the non-profit sector of journalism don’t understand what that means, Guido will spell it out slowly – the “Gray Lady” is going to non-investment “junk” status. J – U – N – K. 98 Pulitzer prizes, “All the news that’s fit to print” and they are trying to cut costs to survive. Blogalypse.

The Dead Tree Press is a dead industry walking. It is not a twenty first century business model: slaughter half a forest of trees, pay NUJ rates for news gathering, sub-editing, laying out, employing friend’s children, transferring ink onto aforesaid trees, then pay people to work all night sending the slices of dead trees around the country in the dark on lorries. Finally when you get to the point of collecting some money, split the sales revenue with the people who take the money. It is laughable.

Last year the Guardian, Independent and Telegraph all lost money, there is a good chance they will repeat the feat again this year. That is not business, that is vanity publishing.

Thursday, July 24, 2008

Snobby Guardianista Blogger Thrown Out After Calling Glasgow East Cafe "Greasy Spoon"

Guardianista Helene Mulholland is live blogging Glasgow East today (yawn), there is one good entry in the otherwise tedious reportage:
12.45pm I’m in a greasy spoon in Shettleston Road. The woman serving chides one of the customers who fesses up to not having voted.

2pm An important note Apologies to Daddyo’s (the cafe I mentioned earlier). The owner is very upset to hear that I referred to it as a “greasy spoon” – so much so that he kicked me out!

Wireless connections mean that one can blog and make yourself unwelcome anywhere. Well done Daddyo…

Wednesday, July 23, 2008

Sub-Standard

As sent to Times sub-editors:

From : Giles Coren

Chaps,

I am mightily pissed off. I have addressed this to Owen, Amanda and Ben because I don’t know who i am supposed to be pissed off with (i’m assuming owen, but i filed to amanda and ben so it’s only fair), and also to Tony, who wasn’t here – if he had been I’m guessing it wouldn’t have happened.

I don’t really like people tinkering with my copy for the sake of tinkering. I do not enjoy the suggestion that you have a better ear or eye for how I want my words to read than I do. Owen, we discussed your turning three of my long sentences into six short ones in a single piece, and how that wasn’t going to happen anymore, so I’m really hoping it wasn’t you that fucked up my review on saturday.

It was the final sentence. Final sentences are very, very important. A piece builds to them, they are the little jingle that the reader takes with him into the weekend.

I wrote: “I can’t think of a nicer place to sit this spring over a glass of rosé and watch the boys and girls in the street outside smiling gaily to each other, and wondering where to go for a nosh.”
it appeared as: “I can’t think of a nicer place to sit this spring over a glass of rosé and watch the boys and girls in the street outside smiling gaily to each other, and wondering where to go for nosh.”

There is no length issue. This is someone thinking “I’ll just remove this indefinite article because Coren is an illiterate Hunt and i know best”.

Well, you fucking don’t.

This was shit, shit sub-editing for three reasons.

1) ‘Nosh’, as I’m sure you fluent Yiddish speakers know, is a noun formed from a bastardisation of the German ‘naschen’. It is a verb, and can be construed into two distinct nouns. One, ‘nosh’, means simply ‘food’. You have decided that this is what i meant and removed the ‘a’. I am insulted enough that you think you have a better ear for English than me. But a better ear for Yiddish? I doubt it. Because the other noun, ‘nosh’ means “a session of eating” – in this sense you might think of its dual valency as being similar to that of ‘scoff’. you can go for a scoff. or you can buy some scoff. the sentence you left me with is shit, and is not what i meant. Why would you change a sentnece aso that it meant something i didn’t mean? I don’t know, but you risk doing it every time you change something. And the way you avoid this kind of fuck up is by not changing a word of my copy without asking me, okay? it’s easy. Not. A. Word. Ever.
2) I will now explain why your error is even more shit than it looks. You see, i was making a joke. I do that sometimes. I have set up the street as “sexually-charged”. I have described the shenanigans across the road at G.A.Y.. I have used the word ‘gaily’ as a gentle nudge. And “looking for a nosh” has a secondary meaning of looking for a blowjob. Not specifically gay, for this is soho, and there are plenty of girls there who take money for noshing boys. “looking for nosh” does not have that ambiguity. the joke is gone. I only wrote that sodding paragraph to make that joke. And you’ve fucking stripped it out like a pissed Irish plasterer restoring a renaissance fresco and thinking jesus looks shit with a bear so plastering over it. You might as well have removed the whole paragraph. I mean, fucking christ, don’t you read the copy?
3) And worst of all. Dumbest, deafest, shittest of all, you have removed the unstressed ‘a’ so that the stress that should have fallen on “nosh” is lost, and my piece ends on an unstressed syllable. When you’re winding up a piece of prose, metre is crucial. Can’t you hear? Can’t you hear that it is wrong? It’s not fucking rocket science. It’s fucking pre-GCSE scansion. I have written 350 restaurant reviews for The Times and i have never ended on an unstressed syllable. Fuck. fuck, fuck, fuck.

I am sorry if this looks petty (last time i mailed a Times sub about the change of a single word i got in all sorts of trouble) but i care deeply about my work and i hate to have it fucked up by shit subbing.


Tip off Guido
Web Guido's Archives

Subscribe me to:






RSS


AddThis Feed Button
Archive


Labels
Guido Reads
Follow

Get every new post delivered to your Inbox.

Join 1,646 other followers