CALL ME DAVE: I Like Hip Hop, Nandos & Bryan Ferry

The PM just popped up on Capital Xtra for a particuarly cringeworthy interview. The last three minutes are golden as “Dave” fails a test to see if he’s as cool as Obama. Guido managed to record a copy before it mysteriously disappeared from the internet:

He prefers cooking shows to the Kardashians, Bryan Ferry over Tinie Tempah and wants everyone to call him Dave…

UPDATE: Full transcript:

Capital: You’ve just had a hard PMQs. You pop along to the office and turn on the TV. Only reality shows are on. Now which one do you watch: Big Brother?

DC: No.

Capital: Love and Hip Hop?

DC: No.

Capital: Or Keeping Up With the Kardashians?

DC: I think – whoops, I’ve just dropped the microphone in shock at that question. I’m not a big brother fan, I have watched it. I haven’t quite got into why everyone’s interested in the Kardashians, so I’m not doing very well on that one. So maybe I’ll try the hip hop show, that sounds a bit better. I like watching cooking shows.

Capital: Barack Obama suggests you need a big artist to pull back the youth vote, so he suggests that he’s gonna bring in Jay-Z for you.

DC: Right.

Capital: Prime Minister Tony Abbott calls from Australia and says Iggy Azalea is the way forward.

DC: Right.

Capital: Or do you go safe and call up Tinie Tempah and get the UK on track?

DC: I don’t know, the track I would like to have – but this makes me sound so old – is Let’s Stick Together by Bryan Ferry, because I think that’s the message for the election.

Capital: One more question. Everyone’s over in London for the G7 summit. It’s up to you to order lunch. Do you go to Harvester, the Gordon Ramsay pub or get some chicken in from Nando’s.

DC: I’ve been to a Gordon Ramsay restaurant, I’ve been to Nando’s and I’ve been to a Harvester. I think Nando’s is the best value for money. I had a very good Nando’s in Bristol.

UPDATE II: Nigel Farage slams Cameron, telling Guido: “Harvester over Nando’s any day, but if you ask me a good local pub can’t be beat.”

UPDATE III: Ed Balls weighs in, he prefers Little Chef:

“My kids like Nando’s, I haven’t been a regular at Harvester.”

Digital Dave Isn’t Working

dave 1776

The Prime Minister was keen to show off his enthusiasm for all things digital today when he stopped by 1776, a “global platform for connecting entrepreneurs”, in DC. “So how do we un-encrypt this…”

Dave: Obama Does Call Me Bro

The big news from Dave’s trip to the States: confirmation that the leader of the free world does call him “bro”.

“It’s normally Barack and David, I hasten to add… well, it’s been said.”

“Call me bro…”

via BBC

72% Say Let Greens in Leaders Debate

How much is Dave’s “chicken” debate demand to let the Greens take part hurting him with voters? A YouGov/Sun poll today finds 7 in 10 agree with the PM that Natalie Bennett should be allowed in. Meanwhile, overnight:

Guido understands as of yesterday UKIP’s memberships stands at 41,943, but the Greens have now overtaken that. Over to the broadcasters…

13 Other Countries That Ban Encryption

putin

There’s been something of an uproar in the cryptography community following the revelation yesterday that Digital Dave is planning to clamp down on encrypted communication. It seems the PM’s plans aren’t just remarkably naive, they’re simply unenforceable. Most decent encryption technology is open source, eradicating it would mean arresting every geek with a laptop or shutting down the internet. However, Dave can take heart that he’s not in this fight alone, the other countries where there are known domestic controls on the use of encryption are Russia, China, Mongolia, Vietnam, Pakistan, Iran, Kazakhstan, Belarus, Ukraine, Moldova, Israel, Tunisia and Morocco.

That’s one hell of a club Dave’s trying to sign us up to…

Maguire Dave Dig Backfires

Perhaps Kev should have checked PA before his rant:

David Cameron is in Poland to visit Nazi death camp Auschwitz. The Prime Minister is travelling to the notorious site on the way back from Turkey, where he held talks with President Recep Tayyip Erdogan. The trip to Auschwitz, the first by Mr Cameron, was heralded in his speech to the Israeli Knesset in March. He has expressed his determination that memories of the atrocities are kept “strong and vibrant”.

A source points out the PM will be actually be on site during PMQs. Won’t be that easy for the leaders debates though…

MPs Warned to Disguise PM’s Number Over Security Concerns

Tired and emotional MPs stumbling into cabs late at night have been warned to change the Prime Minister’s name in their phone contacts to something inconspicuous, amid fears his mobile number could fall into the wrong hands. Many MPs – and researchers too – sync their mobile phone contacts to their Outlook email accounts, meaning the personal phone numbers of Cabinet members all the way up to Cameron are automatically in their phonebooks. Gavin Williamson, the PM’s PPS, has advised MPs not to have his number saved as “David Cameron”, replacing it with something less identifiable. As a Guido reader discovered over the weekend, this is probably a wise move:

GCHQ would need a full team working round the clock to keep safe the mobile phones of pissed up MPs…

#TM4PM: May Opens Up 11 Point Lead Amongst Tory Members

Theresa May’s busy, busy media month has seen has her hurtle to more than 11 points ahead of her closet rival for the Tory leadership.

ComHome’s regular voodoo poll will make for happy reading in the Home Office.

Not that there’s a vacancy, as she’s so keen to point out…

“Grumpy” Dave “Rather Rude” to Stonehenge Staff

grump

Guido leaves no stone unturned to bring you all the latest news. As revealed in yesterday’s column, staff at the Stonehenge visitors’ centre much preferred the Deputy PM to bad-tempered Dave and his jumbo entourage. “Nick was very friendly,”[…]

+ READ MORE +

WATCH: Dave’s PMQs Sadomasochism Slip

The Prime Minister whipped up a storm in the House when he fluffed this attack line on Ed Balls. Poor George…

UPDATE:

Freudian slip?[…]

+ READ MORE +

Poll: Public Backs Brexit if Cam Plan Fails

A poll for the Standard tonight finds Londoners currently want to stay in the EU by 45% to 37%, but the numbers reverse almost completely if Cameron’s renegotiation attempts fail. No pressure…

UPDATE: And a ComRes/ITV poll finds if […]

+ READ MORE +

Dave’s Brexit ‘Threat’

Dave is in the West Midlands for his big speech today, 46 years since the last time a top Tory chose that setting to crack down on immigration. Labour yesterday proposed a two year ban on new migrants claiming benefits, […]

+ READ MORE +



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