He’ll be looking for a job…
Judge Lord Burns rules he has no case to answer in his perjury trial…
14 FIFA officials have been charged with corruption and their President is facing calls to resign, but that hasn’t stopped football’s governing body from rolling out the red carpet for the opening ceremony of its annual conference today.
Maybe they were hoping the FBI would be distracted by their glamarous host:
Or perhaps these scantily clad female dancers:
If not, there was this dude singing Swiss power ballads:
With a ballerina:
And this lady blowing some sort of Swiss national horn:
And this guy playing the drums:
All culminating bizarrely with a lady pirouetting in a circle again and again:
And fire. Lots of fire.
You wouldn’t know their bosses had just had their doors kicked down in morning raids, would you?
Kent Police have launched an investigation into alleged electoral fraud in South Thanet.
UKIP sources say they didn’t make the complaint.
One to drive the conspiracy theorists wild…
The picture below shows Ansar Ali Khan and Mariam Khan, the two councillors who organised Labour’s sex segregated rally.
Behind them is Labour MP Khalid Mahmood.
It has been posted on Facebook alongside the caption “All Pir Sahiban and Darbars in Birmingham have ordered Mureeds to Vote Labour in elections”. A “mureed“ is “a person wishing to dedicate himself to Islam”. Muslims in Birmingham are being “ordered” to vote Labour.
If proven, this would arguably be in direct contravention of the same undue spiritual influence laws of which Lutfur Rahman was recently found guilty. The law states:
“A person shall be guilty of undue influence if he… makes use of or threatens to make use of any force… or inflicts or threatens to inflict, by himself or by any other person, any temporal or spiritual injury… to induce or compel that person to vote or refrain from voting”
“Ordering” Muslims to vote a certain way comes pretty close to that…
Is there any famous wrong’un who isn’t backing Miliband? Stan Collymore, who kicked his girlfriend in the head and told her he was going to “f**king kill” her, says “vote Labour”.
Of course, Collymore has a local connection to Cannock Chase, it being the scene of his dogging shame. He confessed: “Over the last couple of years I have been to dogging sites maybe a dozen to 15 times, and yes I have taken part and had sex during them”.
The modern Labour Party: segregators, doggers and woman-beaters all welcome…
Six days before polling day and it’s the end of the line for one candidate already. Labour have been forced to suspend their prospective MP for Wellingborough after he was convicted for fraud. Despite attempts to cover his tracks, Richard Garvie has been found guilty of buying train tickets worth almost £900 using a card for a closed bank account. His defence was that it was all a big conspiracy to stitch him up because “I have been active in helping people who have been treated wrongly by train companies”. He had the means, he had the opportunity, he had the loco-motive…
Shocking revelations in this morning’s Sun:
As with the furore over the French Consul’s embarrassing diplomatic report, the denial is less than convincing:
If as a child Sturgeon was prepared to hack the top off a Barbie doll, will she now use her power to do the same to Britain?
UPDATE: Another happy reader:
Despite her previous denial to the BBC, Sturgeon now openly admits to ruthlessly hacking the hair off a Sindy doll:
Nicola claims she has reformed:
Has she really?
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Not a bad idea from Lutfur’s old pal.
In this LBC interview tonight Ken goes on to play down the seriousness of Rahman smearing Labour’s John Biggs as a racist.[…]
“Labour is the only party with a plan” for tackling crime, insisted Yvette Cooper today as new figures reveal recorded crime has risen by 2%. Presumably that plan doesn’t involve Labour’s custard cream-claiming kleptomaniac, Stella Creasy.
Video has emerged of St Ella recalling “those heady days” before she became an MP, when she and her friends were “stealing bagels from Sainsbury’s and arguing about the state of the world”.[…]
Here is a hard-hatted Labour supporter captioned “Andy, docker” in the party’s manifesto:
Ordinary “Andy” looks remarkably similar to Andy Green, the Unite convenor at Tilbury Docks and a member of the union’s executive council.
Green proudly boasts that he attended the infamous 2006 dockers’ protest in Strasbourg, which descended into widespread violence.[…]
Ed Miliband and Yvette Cooper are launching Labour’s ‘Crime and Justice manifesto’ this morning, yet for some strange reason there is no mention in the party’s press release of the man who did all the work. Labour’s top cop policy artichect was commissioned to carry out an “independent review of policing” in 2013, and when he published his findings Labour said they would spend “the next 12 months consulting on the report’s recommendations before setting out its plans in next year’s manifesto”. […]
Statement from North Yorkshire Police:
“North Yorkshire Police has now completed its routine enquiries following the incident at Hawes involving Mr Jeremy Clarkson, and we will not be pursuing this matter any further.
North Yorkshire Police takes a thorough and victim-led approach to all investigations.
The LibDem candidate fighting Gloria de Piero in Ashfield and Eastwood has quit after been arrested over historic allegations of child sex abuse. Jason Zadrozny is accused of:
“an allegation of buggery and gross indecency with a male under 16 between September 2003 and April 2004, sexual activity with a child between May 2004 and December 2007 and an allegation of meeting a child under 16 following sexual grooming from May 2004 and December 2007”
The Metropolitan Police are investigating the LibDems after their former chief fundraiser Ibrahim Taguri was filmed telling an undercover ‘donor’ “when you do this, the doors will open for you”. The Electoral Commission says they have passed on the evidence from the Telegraph/Dispatches sting to the fuzz:
“Based on the information that the Commission has seen, the alleged offence in this case centres on the potential evasion of restrictions on donations in contravention of section 61 of PPERA and is ultimately a criminal matter.