Evans: “It’s Amazing What Two Grown People Can Do on Sofas”

Today in court Nigel Evans denied sexually assaulting several alleged male victims, accusing the prosecution of trying to paint him as “a cross between Alan Clark, Oscar Wilde and Benny Hill”. Evans said he could not recall two alleged assaults that had taken place while he was drunk, also dismissing claims he put his hands down another man’s boxer shorts on his sofa as “affection”, arguing that “there was affection between us… As you can see from the texts that are available, [there are] kisses at the end of them”. On the alleged sofa incident, Evans said he was looking for:

“A reaction. Hopefully that he might turn around, that something might have happened, that the pass would be accepted and we might take that further in a direction which we both would be happy… It’s amazing what two grown people can do on sofas, Mr Heywood.”

He says he stopped at the man’s stomach. The case continues…

50 Shades of Grayling

Flailing Chris Grayling is trying to fight back at the Howard League of Penal Reform – and pretty much everyone else – for claiming he is banning books from being sent to prison inmates. Writing for ConHome the Justice Secretary insists they have got the wrong end of of his massive stick:

“You can keep up to twelve books in your cell at any one time. All prisoners can access well-stocked prison libraries. The biggest debate I have had over prison libraries so far is whether they should stock 50 Shades of Grey. I decided they could – since if doing so encourages women prisoners to read, that can only be a good thing.

But that’s not all. Prisoners can use their own prison earnings to order any book (within reason) that they want through the prison shop. The only restriction is on receiving unknown and unchecked parcels. What the left can’t deal with is our rehabilitation agenda. It goes against the grain for them. Our approach is to mix tough and compassionate – and to do things differently to get the job done.”

It seems the debate comes down to the fact that books are considered a privilege item. Despite asking Guido is yet to see an example of where they have been banned. Despite the hype…

Fears for Piers in Kensington

“I know of no cases of phone hacking,” the Mail Editor-in-chief Paul Dacre told the Leveson Inquiry. “Having conducted a major internal inquiry, I am as convinced as I can be that there is no phone hacking on the Daily Mail. I don’t make that statement lightly.” Today’s news that Piers was questioned under police caution late last year is the closest Associated Newspapers have come to being tainted by hacking, even though Morgan’s alleged involvement/knowledge stretches back to a time when he was working for a rival news group.

“Piers Morgan’s role as a Mail on Sunday columnist must surely come under pressure now” says an insider at the paper who has knowledge of Morgan’s vast salary, secured when editor Geordie Greig’s predecessor Peter Wright was in charge. “Geordie didn’t hire Morgan, so he shouldn’t find it a problem to release him. It’s a piss poor column anyway.”

Could Dacre and the increasingly influential Lady Rothermere, wife of the proprietor, find themselves in rare agreement in believing that any association with Morgan is bad for business as long as he has a hacking cloud hanging over him? And heaven knows how CNN took the news.

MacShane Out

Convicted fraudster MacShane was sentenced to six months in prison for defrauding taxpayers of £13,000 in forged receipts. He has served just six weeks. The law should be unsparing when lawmakers become lawbreakers – is this really justice?

UPDATE: MacShane is now comparing himself to Corrie star Bill Roache, found not guilty of sex offences yesterday. The difference: Roache was cleared of all charges and MacShane is a convicted fraudster. 

Another Tim Yeo Lobbying Scandal

Scrapbook have got hold of a letter sent on behalf of Tim Yeo to all members of South Suffolk Conservative Association, begging them not to deselect the poor hard done by lamb:

Not only do the rules state that campaigning is not allowed, how did Sir Kenneth Carlile get hold of the addresses of all the members? Guido has a surprise for troubled Tim later…

Yeo Could Face Legal Challenge for Overt Campaigning

Despite party rules stating that he is not meant to be overtly campaigning, Tim Yeo is fighting hard for his political survival in Suffolk. The trougher even sent members Christmas cards for the first time in a decade and has become uncharacteristically active in his previously neglected seat. Neighbouring MP Dan Poulter is helping to boost support locally, “they’re golf buddies” notes another MP dryly.

If Yeo should win the crunch vote, a legal challenge has been prepared by local Tories desperate to be rid of him. In 1983 Yeo comfortably survived an attempt to oust him as the candidate after a company he chaired was investigated by the London Stock Exchange over a share scandal, this time it might be time to sell shares in Tim Yeo. Local party elders suggest the fall out, division, and defections will be greater if the great greedy green survives the vote.

Say No to Yeo: Tim Gets Tepid Backing

Junior minister and topless enthusiast Dr Dan Poulter has organised a letter of support for the re-selection of his troughing neighbour. Apparently Tim Yeo “has a lot of fuel left in the tank” and “remains very active.” On the golf course perhaps…

On the bright-side for Tim, Poulter’s letter is a marked improvement on the effort by Crispin Blunt, who himself survived such a deselection bid. The former minister said Yeo was an “elder statesmen” and his constituents need someone who knows “how to get around the system”. If Blunt actually spoke to anyone in the seat, he would understand that was the problem…

IMF Contemplating Mass Expropriation in €-Zone

IMF-exproriation

Christine Lagarde the French chief of the IMF narrowly escaped being charged recently. Her candidacy’s main cheerleader for the IMF was George Osborne, Guido had his doubts at the time. The IMF is searching for a solution for debt laden European states to stop the €uro collapsing. Stop spending more than you tax is considered naive – how will the ruling elites get re-elected if they stop bribing the electorate with their own children’s money? Option 6 in the IMF’s discussion paper on the subject is brutally straight-forward. The final act of financial repression is to steal from everyone who has savings with a 10% wealth tax.

You have been warned now – just like Cypriot political insiders were – don’t keep any capital in €urozone banks. The IMF argues that the element of surprise is essential for the success of a capital levy…

Review of 2013: A Very Bad Year for MPs in Guido’s Crosshairs

It was a very bad year for the lying, cheating, criminal politicians that found themselves in the crosshairs of this blog. Guido was in court to see Chris Huhne sentenced to eight months for perverting the course of justice. […]

+ READ MORE +

MacShane Jailed for 6 Months

20131223-013416.jpg

The thing about MacShane is that although he was convicted for defrauding taxpayers’ of £13,000, the true figure was in the hundreds of thousands.

Read all Guido’s stories about Denis MacShane, bon viveur, europhile extraordinaire and convicted fraudster. Now […]

+ READ MORE +

MacShame: Stay of Execution

The judge sentencing MacShane has delayed until Monday as he wants time to reflect after defence spent an hour begging for him not to be sent down. Reasons for leniency included being a trade unionist and definitely not a crook. […]

+ READ MORE +

Cops Buried Evidence of Expense-Fiddling MPs

More evidence the police let criminal MPs get away with breaking the law during the expenses scandal in the Times today. The Met carried out assessments of 77 MPs suspected of breaking the law, launching full investigations into 14. […]

+ READ MORE +



Tip offs: 0709 284 0531
team@Order-order.com

Quote of the Day

David Cameron tells MPs after voting:

“Wouldn’t miss this for the world. Secret ballots very important. Remember the Chartists.”

Top Posts This Week

Guidogram: Sign up

Subscribe to the most succinct 7 days a week daily email read by thousands of Westminster insiders.

Facebook

ANTI-FRACKING PARLIAMENTARY CANDIDATE WANTED TO WORK FOR FRACKERS ANTI-FRACKING PARLIAMENTARY CANDIDATE WANTED TO WORK FOR FRACKERS
Crick Gets Paxo’d Crick Gets Paxo’d
Cameron’s Secret A-List Cameron’s Secret A-List
Corrections and Clarifications: Brooks Newmark Corrections and Clarifications: Brooks Newmark
What is Wrong With the Lobby? What is Wrong With the Lobby?
Arrogant Bercow: “I’m Not Going Anywhere” Arrogant Bercow: “I’m Not Going Anywhere”

GOVERNMENT SHELLS OUT FOR PHOTO OF DEAD ZEBRA GOVERNMENT SHELLS OUT FOR PHOTO OF DEAD ZEBRA
DWP Press Office Wins the Internet DWP Press Office Wins the Internet
Two-Faced Chuka Ruins Labour Attack Ad Two-Faced Chuka Ruins Labour Attack Ad
Cameron Mauls Miliband at PMQs Cameron Mauls Miliband at PMQs
Actual Pub Landlord Likes Farage Actual Pub Landlord Likes Farage
Dave’s SNP Poodle Zinger Dave’s SNP Poodle Zinger
GREEDY SOLAR INDUSTRY WANTS MORE PUBLIC CASH GREEDY SOLAR INDUSTRY WANTS MORE PUBLIC CASH
This is the worst thing the LibDems  have ever done This is the worst thing the LibDems have ever done
CLIMATE CHANGE FUELLED MOSQUITOES ARE NOT COMING TO GET YOU CLIMATE CHANGE FUELLED MOSQUITOES ARE NOT COMING TO GET YOU
ORDNANCE SURVEY OPENS UP DATA MAPPING TREASURE CHEST ORDNANCE SURVEY OPENS UP DATA MAPPING TREASURE CHEST
“I’d S**k Off David Cameron” “I’d S**k Off David Cameron”
WATCH: Cameron Heckled By Pensioners WATCH: Cameron Heckled By Pensioners
WATCH: Gove v Campbell WATCH: Gove v Campbell
Politician dumps his wife over sexy selfies Politician dumps his wife over sexy selfies
UKIP PROTESTERS ORGANISED BY GREEN LOBBYIST UKIP PROTESTERS ORGANISED BY GREEN LOBBYIST
You’ve Been Cricked! You’ve Been Cricked!
He’s Not Dancing Anymore He’s Not Dancing Anymore
Miliband’s Hedge Funder Hypocrisy Miliband’s Hedge Funder Hypocrisy
NATIONAL TRUST CLAIMS CLIMATE CHANGE IS “BIGGEST THREAT” NATIONAL TRUST CLAIMS CLIMATE CHANGE IS “BIGGEST THREAT”
GREEN PARTY CANDIDATE IN SICK NAZI CANCER SLUR GREEN PARTY CANDIDATE IN SICK NAZI CANCER SLUR
TRANSPORT MINISTER BELIEVES ROADS WILL SELF HEAL TRANSPORT MINISTER BELIEVES ROADS WILL SELF HEAL
Who’s Telling Porkies? Who’s Telling Porkies?
Fascists in Fancy Dress Fascists in Fancy Dress
VIVIENNE WESTWOOD DUMPED BY GREENS VIVIENNE WESTWOOD DUMPED BY GREENS