Thursday, September 5, 2013

Claire Perry Concedes Guido Didn’t “Sponsor” Hacking

Guido can now happily report that Tory MP Claire Perry has backed down after her bizarre claim that Guido ‘sponsored’ hacking pranksters who uploaded hardcore images onto the anti-porn campaigner’s website. Perry has conceded:

“For the purpose of clarity, I have never stated or indeed believe that you organised the hacking and am quite happy to make that view public.”

The government internet adviser’s offending tweets claiming that Guido sponsored the hacking have now been deleted after Guido’s lawyers demanded that she remove them and withdraw the crazy and technologically illiterate claims which she had made.

Guido would once again like to thank the team at Griffin Law for their work…

Wednesday, July 24, 2013

POLL RESULT: 86% of Readers Say Sue Claire Perry
Guido Has Instructed Lawyers to Commence Proceedings

The people have spoken. Nearly three thousand of you voted in Guido’s consultation on whether he should sue Claire Perry for defamation after she accused him of “sponsoring” hackers to post porno pictures on her website. 2,404 co-conspirators said Guido should sue Claire Perry…

It is not as if Guido did not politely ask her to withdraw her false accusations:

Reluctantly, Guido has instructed m’learned friends who will be writing to her today…

Should Guido Sue Claire Perry?

Last night after Guido reported the legitimate news that anti-porn campaigner Claire Perry had been targeted by internet hackers who hosted porn on her website, the Tory MP went proper shouty crackers on Twitter.

  • She then bizarrely claimed that Guido had sponsored the hacking of her website.
  • When smears did not work, Perry then tried vague threats about calling the editor of  The Sun, despite the story appearing on the blog, for which the editor of The Sun doesn’t have any responsibility.

You can read her collected tweets here. They are without any foundation, merit or a shred of evidence to back them up. Guido suspects it is based on Perry’s dislike of the blog bringing the pushy MP back down to earth occasionally. Perry does not have a leg to stand on here, so if she does not retract the bonkers allegations, should Guido unleash his lawyers? You won’t like them when they’re angry.

So in the now fashionable manner popularised by the government the blog has decided to put the decision out to consultation to the readers. Poll closes at midday. Vote below…

Wednesday, July 17, 2013

Dave Ducks Pre-Summer Deckchair Reorganisation

Despite it being widely reported last week and over the weekend, Downing Street sources now say there will not be a reshuffle before the summer break. The idea of creating a new batch of disgruntled ex-ministers and letting them stew over a long hot summer did seem a little odd, yet their new claim that “it was never going to happen” should be taken with a lot of salt; especially given the imminent were being openly discussed by Tory staffers as late as last night at the PM’s media drinks party. That faint sound you can hear is Claire Perry gently sobbing…

Friday, July 12, 2013

Mini-Government Reshuffle Pencilled In for Next Thursday

The FT say Wednesday, Sky say otherwise , but the reshuffle speculation is reaching fever pitch before the summer break. A Downing Street source explains it well: “there are two very good rules with reshuffle speculation. 1. If you hear if from a journalist it is almost certainly b****ks. 2. If you hear from an MP it is undoubtedly b****ks, unless, in this case, that MP is called David and he lives in No.10.”  Bloggers, on the other hand…

Guido hears that, provided that the plan does not change, Claire Perry has less than a week to clear her desk – the mini-reshuffle is ‘pencilled in’ to the grid for Thursday 18 July. It may have been pencilled in, but with the hype growing it could well be brought forward.

You can read all of Guido’s speculation about the minor-movements from over the last few weeks here. There are no big changes expected, but plenty of deckchairs rearranged and deadwood shifted from the lower rungs of government. The ladies will do particularly well. 

Tuesday, July 2, 2013

Reshuffle Runners and Riders

Given that exactly half of the women in cabinet are called Theresa (2 out of 4) it is going to be tough for the PM to sack a woman at the coming reshuffle this month. Equalities Minister Helen Grant and Maria Miller, the Culture Secretary, have been particularly useless, but the Cameron project is on thin ice here.

Former TV presenter Esther McVey is expected to be plucked from the Department for Work and Pensions, especially after that unexpected primetime Today programme performance yesterday. Amber Rudd, currently on the lowest rung of the ladder as George Osborne’s parliamentary PPS, is heavily tipped to become an undersecretary of state… somewhere.

As Guido has been reporting in the Sun over recent weeks, reshuffle speculation is reaching fever-pitch. Loyal backbenchers and excitable junior ministers are all ears. Guido hears that Man of Kent Charlie Elphicke is particularly confident of his chances of promotion. As is Transport Junior Minister Stephen Hammond, who has been prying any snippets of speculation he can out of his bored colleagues.

Keen greasy pole climber Claire Perry is “clearing her desk as we speak and preparing her staff for high office” according to one dry Tory MP. Watch out for Liz Truss, as well. Nobody disputes the ladies will do well…

Monday, June 10, 2013

Downing Street Deserters Update

With the mini-reshuffle on the cards for early next month keeping everyone well behaved, the joke doing the rounds of Tory MPs is that Claire Perry “is so far up the PM’s a**e she can almost see Matt Hancock’s shoes.” Play nice, kids…

It’s not just ministerial movements in the offing. As Guido revealed in yesterday’s Sun column, the PM’s press secretary Susie Squire is weighing up leaving Downing Street even if Gabby Bertin, for whom she is covering, does not return from maternity leave. It would be the perfect opportunity to bring in someone with some print experience who can command some respect amongst hacks, leaving Craig Oliver to do what he likes doing – dealing with the TV news. They couldn’t afford Guido, obviously…

Monday, January 21, 2013

Civil Liberties Campaigners Slam Snooping Claire Perry

Try as she might – and judging by her shameless sucking up she has tried – Claire Perry has still yet to be reshuffled into government. Her one consolation is that Dave has made her his adviser on childhood. The Tories’ answer to Harriet Harman is throwing herself into her new non-job, telling the Mail that parents should snoop on their children’s texts and private messages. Guido has no problem with parents seeking to protect their children from the worst of the web. But when she demands the state block adults from porn…

Perry’s nannying calls for the state to ban raunchy music videos and label airbrushed photos of celebs are even more disturbing. Big Brother Watch’s Nick Pickles is damning of the PM’s Rihanna-hater-in-chief:

“We’re not entirely sure how it fits for a Conservative MP and a newspaper usually committed to reducing state interference in our lives are able to square away issuing parenting diktats, but more concerning is the total lack of any evidence to support these claims. No research on how many parents feel they are not able to discuss this with their children. No evidence of how many children are allowed unrestricted access to the internet in their bedrooms. We’ve seen the dodgy stats underpinning this Mary Whitehouse 2.0 campaign before and now they seem to have given up on evidence-based policy altogether.”

No research, dodgy stats and giving up on evidence-based policy. Perhaps Perry would be suited for promotion after all…

Thursday, December 20, 2012

Blow for Internet Freedom

Claire Perry and Paul Dacre’s plan to censor the internet by putting up mandatory firewalls is back on. Despite expert advice saying it is a waste of time and civil liberties groups hammering their keyboards, the numbers in the crucial mothers polling group must be telling No. 10 something. Taking to the Mail today, Dave says:

“…with our new system, every parent will be prompted to protect their child online. If they don’t make choices, protection will be automatically on. No other Government has taken such radical steps before. And once all this is in place, Britain will have the most robust internet child protection measures of any country in the world – bar none.

To get all this underway, I have appointed Claire Perry MP to be my adviser on preventing the sexualisation and commercialisation of childhood. Claire is a passionate campaigner for internet safety and mother of three. Her job will be to see this through, to get internet companies on board, to do what it takes to protect children and young people online.All this comes back to something really important. It’s not just about the internet, or modern technology – it’s about childhood.”

She finally gets that long conveted promotion then. Presumably the new filter would block kids searching about Perry’s more passionate moments?

Wednesday, September 5, 2012

Claire Perry’s Porno Problem

When she isn’t speculating that Kate Middleton might be up the duff or suggesting that girls should be spared from prison, it seems Claire Perry has porn on the mind. But the Tory MP’s campaign to control what we can and can’t watch on our computer screens was laid bare today after its dodgy stats were rumbled. SafetyNet claim that one in three ten-year-olds have viewed online porn. It turns out they lifted the figure from an obscure magazine, which has admitted using a sample of 14-16 year-olds from just one school in north London. So in other words her figures are about as academic as a show of hands in a pub. Maybe Perry should spend less time worrying why all her sucking up failed to land her a job, and a bit more time on the facts. 


Seen Elsewhere

Cam Cannot Stem EU Immigration | David Keighley
9 Mansion Tax Questions for Ed Balls | TPA
Politicians are Lying to You About Immigration | Alex Wickham
Give Journalists Public Interest Defence in Law | Guardian
Cameron is Going to Have to Deal With UKIP | Dan Hodges
Opinions on Key Issues By Constituency | Red Box
Britain Irrelevant Inside EU | Dan Hannan
Cameron Heading for Fall on Europe | Rachel Sylvester
Lords Speaker Spends £350 on Two Mile Limo Ride | Sun
Shapps Slaps Down Barroso “Propaganda” | City AM
Bookies v Pollsters: What We Learned From IndyRef | Paddy Power


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Chris Bryant talks to the Times Diary about a famous gay actor:

“I don’t think I’ve had sex with him. He says we had sex in Clapham. I’m fairly certain I’ve never had sex south of the river”



Progressive Inclusion Champion says:

Great to hear Carswell call for inclusive policies and that UKIP must stand for first and second generation immigrants as much as the English.


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