Monday, July 22, 2013

Chuka China Junket Fixed By Blairite Cronies

With “close friends” of Tony Blair laying it on thick for Chuka over the weekend, interesting that the Shadow Business Secretary is off on a junket to China tomorrow organised by a group with particularly close links to the former PM. Chuka’s four day trip comes courtesy of Chinese for Labour (CfL), a well-funded organisation that seeks to recruit Chinese Britons to the party, promises access to Labour MPs and offers financial assistance to potential candidates. Manchurian, presumably.

CfL are chaired by Sonny Leong, a publisher who seems to spend his time spinning for the communist Chinese government when he is not personally donating tens of thousands of pounds to the Labour Party. CfL’s patrons include Cherie Blair, David Miliband and former Blair fixer Ian McCartney. On its executive committee sits Lady Katy Tse Blair (right), wife of Tony’s brother Bill. CfL has organised recent trips to China for Blairite Shadow Cabinet ministers Liam Byrne and Douglas Alexander. Worth noting that Blair has earned hundreds of thousands of pounds from his links to the country. He clearly has a soft spot for the Chinese…

Friday, July 19, 2013

Blair and Mandy Lay It on Thick For Chuka

The hand of Blair is on Chuka’s shoulder in George Parker’s feature for tomorrow’s FT Weekend magazine. “A close ally of the former Prime Minister” gives him a glowing reference, with Mandy also piling on the praise. Still no escaping that awkward Wikipedia-editing business though:

“So inevitable, indeed, that a Wikipedia entry apparently originating from the wannabe MP’s campaign team – but not written by him, he insists – helpfully drew attention to the “British Obama” way back in 2007, in case anyone might have missed them. When news of this Wiki-doctoring emerged this year, David Cameron taunted Umunna, the MP for Streatham, in the House of Commons: “Can we change our Wikipedia entry? Yes we can.” Umunna, 34, claims to hate the parallels – the construct of “lazy journalists”, he once said – and glowered at Cameron, disgust written across his face. He would not have seen it, but some of those laughing loudest were behind him on the Labour benches.”

Ouch. At least he is very, very sorry about calling Londoners trash:

“Of course it was a stupid thing to say. I wasn’t even a candidate at that point but I’m really sorry and regret what I said. I’ve never pretended to be a saint and to have never said stupid things in the past.”

Other gems include a young Chuka’s voice appearing on the theme tune to Mr Bean when he was a chorister at his local Cathedral and a special mention for a certain parody twitter account. And, for the avoidance of doubt, his name rhymes with cooker…

Wednesday, July 17, 2013

WATCH: Brillo Ridicules Chukapedia

Brillo had a lot of fun at Chuka’s expense with his mocked up Daily Politics mug Wikipedia page this lunchtime.

Harrison’s face rivalled the old classic…

See also: WATCH: Dave Trashes Chukapedia

Friday, June 28, 2013

Two-Faced Chuka Talks to Himself


A great spot from Iain Martin this afternoon. Two-faced Chuka gets on his high horse in the Indy to tell us we need to “have a conversation with ourselves” about using supermarkets like Tesco that destroy our high streets, that “we haven’t stopped and thought” about the consequences. Before admitting he shops at Tesco himself.

The hypocrisy doesn’t stop there. Chuka campaigns against a new Tesco being built in his own Streatham constituency, though that hasn’t stopped him from welcoming the development of the new Streatham Hub:

“The Streatham Hub will be fantastic for our area. People have been waiting for the Hub for a very long time and I’m incredibly glad at the progress that has finally been made. Some people questioned whether the development of the Hub would ever happen but now it’s clear that this project will be delivered. It will make a huge difference to our area, be a great facility for local people and it should bring a lot of new trade for local businesses as well.”

Provided by – that’s right – his local Tesco. Textbook Harrison…

Monday, May 13, 2013

Dave on Chuka: “Let’s Get Him!”

Dave trashing Chukapedia was the highlight of last week’s Queen’s Speech debate. In yesterday’s Sun column Guido revealed how Number 10 came up with the killer line during their pre-debate prep. John Hayes, Dave’s new senior parliamentary adviser, was in favour of a subtle, understated approach. Perhaps gently chastising Chuka as simply a typical Labour MP.  The Prime Minister was having none of it, Guido hears, banging the table and exclaiming: “No! Let’s get him.” Dave himself then came up with the body blow: “Can we change our Wikipedia entry? Yes we can!Chuka’s face showed he made the right call…

Friday, May 10, 2013

WATCH: Chuka Feels the Pinch

Clearly Chuka has been told he needs to learn how to laugh at himself after Wednesday. These will never get old

UPDATE: Chris Pincher’s powers of prediction are second to none:

Wednesday, May 8, 2013

WATCH: Dave Trashes Chukapedia

It was an open goal for the Prime Minister when he came face to face with Chuka “Barack” Umunna in the Commons. Did he score? Yes he did…

UPDATE: 

Wednesday, May 1, 2013

Chuka and His Comedy Over-Sized Watches

Standard columnist Anne McElvoy’s astute observation last night got Guido thinking:

Turns out Chuka is a sucker for clocks and has quite a collection of over-priced, over-sized watches. First there’s his blingy chrome number:

Then there’s his more community-friendly leather-strapped classic:

Which evidently keeps you looking super cool when holding a mic:

Or when you’re the cover star of a politics mag. Make sure the camera can see it:

Trashy Will Smith doesn’t even wear a watch:

But as anyone knows, if you buy your suits on Savile Row, accessorising with a matching watch is a must:

And finally, if in doubt, buy one that is literally wider than your wrist:

We’re not winding you up. Everything you’ve heard is true, Chuka really does have a big watch…

Tuesday, April 30, 2013

Chuka Trashes His Past

Two-faced Chuka Umunna has been getting on his high horse about how terribly unfair private schools are at the Times CEO Africa summit today:

That would be the same Chuka Umunna who was deputy head boy of £4,700-a-term independent day school St Dunstan’s College. The same Chuka Umunna who says being privately schooled by the likes of Anthony Seldon “had a massive impact on me” as he began to “fly academically”. The same Chuka Umunna who says he wouldn’t rule out sending his own children to a private school. Presumably the local comp is a bit too trashy…

Thursday, April 18, 2013

Chuka’s Unsubtle Trash Fightback

Still Chuka won’t be drawn on his million pound Ibiza hideaway, his wikipedia editing or his comments about “trashy” Londoners. His attempts to defend his man of the people credentials are less than subtle, however. Last night Harrison organised a Commons trip for his constituents, keenly tweeting cosy photos of himself with “Peter, the landlord to my constituency office’s local pub”, “Alper, owner of El Chico’s restaurant and the Orient Express takeaway”, Streatham’s town centre manager and staff at his local JobCentre:

Earlier in the day he was hanging out with super-cool multi-millionaire entrepreneur and non-domiciled tax exile James Caan.

You know where he’d rather be…


Seen Elsewhere

Coulson: Everything You Need to Know in 6 Seconds | MediaGuido
Mo Ansar’s Silence | Adrian Hilton
Gove Loses WWI Battle | Conservative Woman
5 Reasons Labour Likely to Win General Election | Sunny Hundal
Dave Surrounded By Topless Women | Sun
UN Loony says Britain Most Sexist Country | Sun
Farage is a Good Reason to Leave the EU | Dan Hannan
UKIP Blocked Expenses Questions | Times
NHS Showdown Coming | Paul Goodman
Sons of Brown | Telegraph
All Three Parties Mulling Leadership | Staggers


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Cathy Jamieson MP, Labour’s Shadow Treasury minister, commenting on Treasury analysis of the economic impact of tax changes…

“If the Treasury is looking at the economic impact of tax changes, then surely it should examine the impact of the rise in VAT and cuts to tax credits? George Osborne’s £12 billion VAT rise knocked confidence, helped to choke off the recovery and has cost families £1,350 over the last three years.”



orkneylad says:

What’s he been doing FFS, mining bitcoins?


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