Wednesday, March 12, 2014

Chuka Umunna Economics 101

Chuka Umunna seemed to have had some difficulty with the basic facts during his interview on the World at One this lunchtime. Somewhat worryingly for a shadow business secretary, Chuka reckons:

“Most of our thirteen years in office we didn’t have a debt, er, a deficit, because we hadn’t had the financial crash.”

Allow Guido to explain slowly. As this handy graph from the Spectator shows, the last government spent more than it was bringing in from 2002 onwards.

defici

Chuka’s claim that Labour did not run a deficit for most of its time in power is patently untrue…

H/T @roxley

Monday, February 17, 2014

Chuka’s Afternoon Delight With the Person He Loves the Most
“He Was Doing Weights, Fairly Small Ones” During Work Hours

Vain Chuka Umunna never fails to praise people who work hard ‘all hours of the day and much of the night – to put bread on the table and serve your communities’. So what would they make of his cheeky afternoon sessions in his apartment building’s gym in Streatham while the Commons is sitting? While Parliament was discussing floods last Thursday afternoon Chuka was pumping a little iron: “He was doing weights, fairly small ones” says a witness, “working out when he should be just working.” How many other jobs allow you swan off for the afternoon to go down the gym?

Thursday, January 30, 2014

Chukapedia Gives the Game Away

Chuka Umunna has been telling today’s Lobby lunch how he is not quite a socialist, letting slip that he would rather be called a “democratic socialist”. A phrase he is keen on it seems. The pseudonym famously used by “one of his campaign team” to edit his own Wikipedia page was “Socialdemocrat”.

Delicate flower Chuka has been cryptically moaning to his audience about “certain right-wing blogs who don’t even want to hear my voice”. Not true at all, Guido wants to hear him squeal like a little piggy…

Wednesday, January 8, 2014

Chuka Squirms Over Anti-Balls Briefing

Chuka Umunna was confronted on the Daily Politics with allegations that he may have been behind the Economist piece about Labour expanding BIS to neuter the Treasury if Labour make it back into government. Ed Balls will be delighted…

Yesterday Labour Uncut made the link that the author of the piece, one Jeremy Cliffe, who used to work for Chuka. To be fair it’s denials all round:

But fun to watch Chuka squirm.

Video via @liarpoliticians

Monday, December 16, 2013

Chuka’s 50 Shades of Grey Session With Mystery Lady Friend

As Guido reported in yesterday’s Sun, Chuka Umunna has admitted to enjoying a saucy poolside 50 Shades of Grey session with a mystery lady friend. “I was sitting by a pool and one of my friends – who I will not name – she was reading extracts to me,” Chuka says. And he liked it: “I thought it was quite racy.” Bachelor Chuka, who don’t forget dated Luciana Berger, was coy about the identity of his companion, telling intrigued fellow guests during the pre-show ice-breaking: “I’m not saying any more.” Sadly the cameras hadn’t started rolling.

Tuesday, December 10, 2013

Two-Faced Chuka Falls Out With Own Party, Again

Two-faced Chuka Umunna has managed to make himself even more unpopular with his own party. Emails leaked to Guido reveal that Chuka backed out of a meeting organised by Labour MPs to discuss human rights in Colombia when he refused to agree to their line condemning the situation in the country. He offered the feeble excuse of having to attend a trade union event instead, of all things to present an award for human rights. As one exasperated Labour aide exclaimed to colleagues in the heated email exchange:

“It is just ironic that he cannot agree to a position in opposition to the Colombia Free Trade Agreement on the grounds of Human Rights and cannot meet MPs to talk about this because he is presenting an award at the Human Rights Awards!!”

Chuka taking a tough line on human rights in public and doing the opposite in private? Surely not…

Friday, November 22, 2013

Coke-Snorting Co-op Boss’ Night With Chuka

Rev Flowers has been nicked as Labour’s Co-op embarrassment makes the front pages once again this morning. By far Guido’s favourite story of the day however is this little gem found by the Sun, who have got hold of Facebook messages written by Flowers in which he lusts over a certain party loving Labour frontbencher:

Thank god he didn’t favourite anything on Twitter…

Friday, November 1, 2013

Picture Evidence of Chuka’s No Trash Policy

A co-conspirator down in Streatham sends in photographic proof of jetrosexual Harrison’s zero tolerance policy when it comes to dealing with the trash:

That’s the trouble with London, eh…

Monday, August 19, 2013

Rich’s Monday Morning View

Tuesday, August 6, 2013

Two Faced Chuka Is Back
Umunna Slams Bookies Then Takes Their Cash

So Labour’s fightback is going well. With Ed Balls still nowhere to be seen, the cost of living campaign has been left in the expert hands of Chris Leslie and now the Standard have whacked Chuka. Despite recently pledging to ‘control the number of betting shops’ in his constituency because of the ‘huge concern that some streets in our area are steadily filling up with betting shops and payday loan companies that take advantage of our community, rather than help us’, the two-faced Shadow Business Secretary has accepted a £20,000 donation from Neil Goulden, the Chairman Emeritus of the Gala Coral Group. Coral have at least two shops in Chuka’s seat…

The Tories have returned to their favourite game, lining up Bob Neill:

“Can anyone really credibly ever believe anything Chuka Umuna says? He says one thing in public and does another behind closed doors. His hypocrisy seems to be limitless. The only thing we know he truly believes is that the capital is full of  “trash” and “c list” wannabes.”

Chuka says it’s all fine because it was a personal donation. Guido looks forward to reading about it in depth on his Wikipedia page…

UPDATE: Goulden is also head of the Association of British Bookmakers, lobbyists for the betting industry, which blows the personal donation line out of the water. Lets home Chuka remembers to declare his interest every time he speaks on the issue now.


Seen Elsewhere

Another Feminist Lecture | Laura Perrins
UKIP Posters Bad Economics But Good Politics | James Delingpole
Tories Losing to UKIP in Scotland | ConHome
UKIPers Will Come Home in 2015 | Sun
Tories Set for Thrashing | Sun
Boris Announcement Imminent | Sun
The Case for Splitting Up CCHQ | ConservativeHome
Why UKIP Should Join a ‘European Union’. | Anna Raccoon
Dave’s Brush With Bed Bugs | Speccie
Farage: No Briton Could Be My Secretary | BBC
Dave and George Can Now Be Seen Together | Ben Brogan


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Francis Elliot reports on No. 10 strategy meetings:

“When discussion veers to subjects that Mr Crosby thinks of concern only to the political and journalistic classes, he treats the offender as a pub bore with a tart request to “pass the beer nuts, mate”.”



Alexrod says:

It’s money innit.


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