Wednesday, November 2, 2011

Chloe-sure

See: Fiona MacTaggart Apologises to Chloe Smith for BitchinessClaws out for Chloe – And It’s Not Just Her Own Side

Fiona MacTaggart Apologises to Chloe Smith for Bitchiness
Leaves Chris Bryant Looking Silly (Again)

We remarked on the unpleasant exchange in parliament yesterday between Fiona MacTaggart and young Chloe Smith which struck Guido as rougher than naked mud wrestling. Chris Bryant tried to play it down…

Yesterday:

Today:

Apparently, on reflection, Fiona MacTaggart agreed with Guido and Neo-Guido, rather than her full-of-spin colleague Chris Bryant. Fiona has made a rather gracious apology for what she herself admits were mean and patronising remarks about Chloe Smith being fresh out of primary school: “I didn’t think at all about how that must have felt to her at her first outing at the despatch box. That was mean and I am sorry.” We won’t hold our breath for a correction from Chris…

Tuesday, July 6, 2010

Cast-Out Chris Courts Kids

Hugh Muir is reporting that Chris Bryant has emailed all the Labour newbies offering to take them on tours of the Palace of Westminster, just in-case they are called upon to do so for guests. Of course all this creeping around the new kids has nothing to do with the fact that most of the Parliamentary Labour Party hate Bryant’s guts. With the Shadow Cabinet elections coming up he is going to need at least some friends if he is going to have a chance.

Perhaps he can give them tips on how not to start their parliamentary career too…

Sunday, October 5, 2008

Meet the New Deputy Leader of the Commons

Another serious person for serious times. Chris Bryant is the deputy leader of the house. His main qualification for this is that he is a Brown loyalist, one of the curry house plotters who can be relied on to be alert to and determined to frustrate the ambitions of Miliband.

Presumably that is the reason for the installation of the strange Sion Simon as a minister for the crown. Tom Watson also remains close to the centre of power in the Cabinet Office where he can continue to brief against internal enemies of the the Prime Mentalist. Watson will have been pleased with himself having seen off Stephen Carter. Nick Brown as chief whip is the ultimate factional enforcer.

This government intake are the second-raters who would never have prospered during New Labour’s prime. They are distinguished only in the way that Kamikaze pilots were distinguished in their loyalty to the emperor. It is going to be a heck of a lot of fun, and a dirty fight to the death.

Tuesday, March 25, 2008

Chris Bryant on Gaydar

Chris Bryant MP is on More 4 News tomorrow talking about the wonders of the internet.

Here is his take on the benefits of progress through technology:

“30, 40 years ago most gay men and lesbians around the country and if you lived in a rural area or a district like mine in the South Wales valley as soon as they knew they were gay they would disappear off to Cardiff or one of the big cities and nowadays they can go online and find one another on the internet”

Before gayers would have to go nightclubs, now as Chris demonstrates here, they can just upload their photo online. Progress…

Thursday, July 19, 2007

Laughing at Chris Bryant

Croydonian draws Guido’s attention to Chris Byrant’s question to Michael Wills, the new Minister of State at the Ministry of Justice “Does he believe that one of the most important British values is our ability to laugh at ourselves.”
That would be the same Chris Bryant who won £10,000 off the Guardian for parodying him, threatened Iain Dale with a writ and told a Press Commission sponsored event that Iain and Guido would get a kicking in the courts soon. Chris Bryant strikes Guido as someone who does not have much of an ability to laugh at himself.

Though, as this picture illustrates, he has provided us with a few laughs over the years…

Tuesday, January 23, 2007

Chris Bryant Writes for Guido!

That is it. Have had enough of this silly rumour that has been going round. It is not true, casts me in a weak light and I will not stand for it anymore. Lawyers will be corresponding with anyone who tells this smear on my good name.

The story goes that some time ago I was working out in the commons gym (got to look my best in pictures after all). I was sprinting on the treadmill. Jack Straw was on the rowing machine just across from me. When, after doing an impressive 5 miles, I jumped off to dab myself off with a towel, Jack is supposed to have shouted across: “Very good Bryant, but now give me 20 press ups.” Always willing to ingratiate myself (he was the foreign secretary), I am supposed to have immediately hit the deck and given him a quick 20 press ups.

It is a lie. I will sue. I did 50 press ups!

I am Chris Bryant!

Tuesday, November 21, 2006

Guardian Apologises to Bryant

Thursday, October 26, 2006

Chris Bryant Writes for Guido!

They mocked me when I put my picture on Gaydar (why, oh why I chose those underpants I will never know). They mocked me in the valleys when they found out that I was a Tory at Oxford along with William Hague. Well they’re not mocking me now.

No. I have got Bindmans on to the mockers. Iain Dale (filthy homophobe) he got a letter. He took it down. Ros Taylor at the Guardian, they got a letter and they have taken it down. No, no, no. Who is mocking now? Frightened of me all of them. Nobody is going to write spoof diaries about me and get away with it. I am Chris Bryant.

Tom Watson Promises : I Will Never Return To Government

Guido ran a story yesterday (sourced from a person near to Tom Watson) which listed some of the people he has, by his own admission, embarrassed. It finished up with a claim that he was telling people he would be “back in government” when Gordon got in next summer. The source of that was the third party rather than Guido’s imagination as Tom seems to imply. Guido invited him to refute the story and he has stated unambiguously in writing that “I promise never to return to government.”

In which case Guido is happy to retract the claim and apologise unreservedly for suggesting otherwise.

Tom also has a go at my friend Iain Dale for making an innocent mistake about Chris Bryant. A mistake that provided Guido with amusement on so many levels. Iain quoted the Sun’s Katherine Bergen who quoted Ros Taylor’s parody of Chris Bryant, not realising that it was satire.

An easy mistake to make because Chris Bryant is beyond satire. Bryant threatened to sue Iain and demanded that his legal bills were paid for sending him a characteristically pompous threatening letter. Iain told him not to be silly and get lost – it was an innocent mistake. Bryant is now sulking.


Seen Elsewhere

Does Europe Really Want Britain to Quit? | Nick Wood
Immigration Nation | Hopi Sen
Tories Choose Anti-Israel Candidate in Rochester | JC
Osborne’s Daycare Obsession is a Time Bomb | Kathy Gyngell
BBC Marr Pinko Trying to Ban the Queen | Speccie
Eric Hobsbawm: Companion of Dishonour | Standpoint
Guido Party Gossip | Iain Dale
Russell Brand Comes Out as 9/11 Truther | Guardian
Health Revolution is Underway | Fraser Nelson
UKIP Gets Professional | Red Box
Kelly Tolhurst Wins Rochester Open Primary | BBC


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Austrian Chancellor Werner Faymann on Cameron’s refusal to pay the £1.7 billion EU bill by December 1st:

“Well, then he’s gonna pay on December 2nd”



Mycroft says:

Have you read the last bit of Animal Farm?

You know where the animals are looking through the Farmhouse window?

My TV screen was that window at lunch-time today.

Be careful, the sudden self-congratulatory tone, the slightly pudgy outline of indulgence and you become exactly what you should despise.

The jolly face of the Quisling Cameron poses for your camera has mesmerised and deceived you, you who were once not so deceived.

You were no firebrand, you were a damp squib in my opinion, sorry.

You need a damned good kick up the ahse!


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