@GuidoFawkes I apologise – and am glad Fiona has apologised. I didn't think she meant to be rude so I'm glad she's clarified it.
— Chris Bryant (@ChrisBryantMP) November 2, 2011
We remarked on the unpleasant exchange in parliament yesterday between Fiona MacTaggart and young Chloe Smith which struck Guido as rougher than naked mud wrestling. Chris Bryant tried to play it down…
Apparently, on reflection, Fiona MacTaggart agreed with Guido and Neo-Guido, rather than her full-of-spin colleague Chris Bryant. Fiona has made a rather gracious apology for what she herself admits were mean and patronising remarks about Chloe Smith being fresh out of primary school: “I didn’t think at all about how that must have felt to her at her first outing at the despatch box. That was mean and I am sorry.” We won’t hold our breath for a correction from Chris…
Hugh Muir is reporting that Chris Bryant has emailed all the Labour newbies offering to take them on tours of the Palace of Westminster, just in-case they are called upon to do so for guests. Of course all this creeping around the new kids has nothing to do with the fact that most of the Parliamentary Labour Party hate Bryant’s guts. With the Shadow Cabinet elections coming up he is going to need at least some friends if he is going to have a chance.
Perhaps he can give them tips on how not to start their parliamentary career too…
Presumably that is the reason for the installation of the strange Sion Simon as a minister for the crown. Tom Watson also remains close to the centre of power in the Cabinet Office where he can continue to brief against internal enemies of the the Prime Mentalist. Watson will have been pleased with himself having seen off Stephen Carter. Nick Brown as chief whip is the ultimate factional enforcer.
This government intake are the second-raters who would never have prospered during New Labour’s prime. They are distinguished only in the way that Kamikaze pilots were distinguished in their loyalty to the emperor. It is going to be a heck of a lot of fun, and a dirty fight to the death.
Here is his take on the benefits of progress through technology:
“30, 40 years ago most gay men and lesbians around the country and if you lived in a rural area or a district like mine in the South Wales valley as soon as they knew they were gay they would disappear off to Cardiff or one of the big cities and nowadays they can go online and find one another on the internet”
Before gayers would have to go nightclubs, now as Chris demonstrates here, they can just upload their photo online. Progress…
Though, as this picture illustrates, he has provided us with a few laughs over the years…
The story goes that some time ago I was working out in the commons gym (got to look my best in pictures after all). I was sprinting on the treadmill. Jack Straw was on the rowing machine just across from me. When, after doing an impressive 5 miles, I jumped off to dab myself off with a towel, Jack is supposed to have shouted across: “Very good Bryant, but now give me 20 press ups.” Always willing to ingratiate myself (he was the foreign secretary), I am supposed to have immediately hit the deck and given him a quick 20 press ups.
It is a lie. I will sue. I did 50 press ups!
I am Chris Bryant!
Only the homophobic Iain Dale is resisting apologising. We shall see about that. I’m going to scream at him.
No. I have got Bindmans on to the mockers. Iain Dale (filthy homophobe) he got a letter. He took it down. Ros Taylor at the Guardian, they got a letter and they have taken it down. No, no, no. Who is mocking now? Frightened of me all of them. Nobody is going to write spoof diaries about me and get away with it. I am Chris Bryant.
An easy mistake to make because Chris Bryant is beyond satire. Bryant threatened to sue Iain and demanded that his legal bills were paid for sending him a characteristically pompous threatening letter. Iain told him not to be silly and get lost – it was an innocent mistake. Bryant is now sulking.
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Austrian Chancellor Werner Faymann on Cameron’s refusal to pay the £1.7 billion EU bill by December 1st:
“Well, then he’s gonna pay on December 2nd”