How To Lunch Discreetly

Leaked Tory Memo: Cable “Roasted” and “Damaged Lib Dems”

As the fallout from Clegg’s singing dominates Westminster, Vince Cable’s own positioning on the mea culpa has been forgotten. One line of CCHQ’s internal press summary for last night really sticks out. The internal blue verdict on Vince’s Newsnight appearance is stinging:

“Cable was serious [sic] roasted and further damaged the Lib Dems in an attempt to cover himself.” 

No sympathy there it seems…

Grant Shapps’ How to Guide for CCHQ Team Reshuffles

Have you ever landed a fancy new job and then got stuck wondering just how you are going to reshuffle the team below you? Well fear not, internet guru Grant Shapps has just the solution for you. Watch with amazement as the new Tory top dog announces his beefed up team:

Deputy Chairman:

  • Sarah Newton MP

Vice Chairmen:

  • Alok Sharma MP – BME Communities
  • Richard Harrington MP – Campaign Finance
  • Bob Neill MP – Local Government
  • Michael Fabricant MP – Parliamentary Campaigning
  • Nicola Blackwood MP –  Social Action
  • Geoffrey Clifton-Brown MP – International Affairs
  • Alan Lewis – Business
  • Andrew Stephenson MP – Youth

With rebellious LibDem getting promoted, note Blackwood and Clifton-Brown keep their jobs despite voting against the whips on Lords reform. No such luck for Conor Burns and Angie Bray…

Meet the New Boss, Same as the Old Boss

If Grant Shapps’ first press release is anything to go by, not much has changed in the Party Chairman’s office over at CCHQ. Tory spinners are keen to point out that he has been kicking some arse in his first few days. Unhappy with the thumb-twiddling Corby campaign that he has inherited, the new Chairman has been sending out overly optimistic memos to all approved candidates compelling them to come and meet him on the front-line this weekend. “He’s not giving them much of a choice, it’s a clear sign of a new regime at CCHQ.” Same old lines being pumped out though…

Shapps Tie Was No Lie

Guido called BS on Grant Shapps’ claim yesterday on the Daily Politics that his tie cost £4, but low and behold the new Tory Chairman has published the receipt:

This sartorial butchery shows just how much the party has changed.

Where’s Warsi? Not in CCHQ for Much Longer…

Not too late to call for The Miner

CCHQ Warsi Spin Fun

This morning on ConservativeHome Alistair Thompson reported that beleaguered Tory chairman Baroness Warsi was both “on holiday” and “destined for demotion“. A few hours later CCHQ went out of their way to deny one of those claims:

In the comments Thompson says CCHQ emailed ConHome to refute that Warsi was currently on a summer break, but gave no such rebuttal that she is facing the chop in the Autumn reshuffle. Telling…

CCHQ Begin Corby Candidate Contest Badly

Wannabe Tories on the party’s approved candidates list were left unimpressed last night when this hit their inboxes:

From: Chairman of Candidates
Date: 6 August 2012 17:58
Subject: Corby and East Northamptonshire
To: Candidates

The Party now has a pending Parliamentary by-election in Corby and East Northamptonshire and we are asking every candidate on the Approved List to rise to the challenge. Our call centre in CCHQ Midlands, based in Coleshill will be open from 10.00am until 8.00pm on a Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday, or you can make evening calls from CCHQ.

To take part please contact xxxx@conservatives.com with the dates you are available to help.

If there are reasons why you cannot give your support at this time, please let Gareth know by emailing xxxx@conservatives.com  or Davina on xxxx@conservatives.com

Carlyn Chisholm
Chairman of Candidates

Before asking people to sacrifice their time and effort in the name of a by-election, would it not have been more sensible to tell the hopefuls the process, if one exists, by which one of them could become the candidate? Or is this by-election selection, as widely speculated, going to be another back-room stitch up? The A-list parachuting operation went so well last time…

Warsi Cleared on Expenses Mystery

According to Joe Murphy of the Standard, Warsi has got away it over her expenses mystery:

Refresh your memory of the allegations and […]

+ READ MORE +

Tory Rebels Keep Jobs

With Conor Burns quitting and Angie Bray being sacked for refusing to walk the line on Lords reform, eyebrows have been raised about other job-holding Tories who rebelled, but have somehow managed to stay in their party posts, nominally in […]

+ READ MORE +

Dave Preparing Conference EU Blitz

The latest briefing to Tory MPs gives an interesting clue as to Cameron’s next move re-Europe:

From: CCHQ
Date: 2 July 2012
To: MPs Lines To Take
Subject: Political Topline: 2 July 2012

Good afternoon. Please see below the political

[…]

+ READ MORE +

Tories Advise Top Donors How to Avoid Tax

Dave might think that Jimmy Carr is morally repugnant but that has not stopped the Tories from advising their wealthy donors on how to avoid tax. The Conservative Foundation, an organisation run by an array of Tory grandees and city […]

+ READ MORE +



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Quote of the Day

Miliband is asked if he knows what ‘Yolo’ means by Time Out:

EM“No. What does it mean?

TO: “It stands for You Only Live Once.”

EM: “Is that right? That is a good philosophy for politics! It’s about a sense of adventure and doing what you want. Wow! I’ll use it from now on!”

TO: “Please don’t.”

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