Doh!


Kevin Maguire’s made up story, Kirkup’s speculation, Sam Coates’ blog. Doh!

CCHQ Designated Party Poopers Tonight

CCHQ are having their Christmas party tonight. Somebody is worried that the boys and girls will get out of hand. Surely not, this isn’t the Bullingdon Club after all…

Dear All,

HR have just had a word with me regarding the CCHQ duty of care and tonight’s party.

In essence this means each Department nominating someone to ‘be sensible’ and ensure that each of their people aren’t found (a) drunk (b) abusing other members of staff and (c) that each person in their team gets off the premises safely.

Therefore please can I leave it to you all to nominate someone sensible within your teams to make sure that tonight goes smoothly?

Many thanks

Jennie Gorbutt │ Party Chairman’s Office │CCHQ

The Human Resources party-pooper is Giles Inglis-Jones, who once tried to impose a gagging contract on all CCHQ staff. He is not popular at CCHQ nor, as you can see above, was the gagging contract successful.

Do feel free to email pictures of “sensible” drunken fun to Guido, photocopied bum prints are a must…


UPDATE : The Tory Christmas card is here. The more ideological one from those Eurosceptic jokers is here.

Tory Spin Breaks Fundamental Rule

CCHQ have just sent out a “Why, oh why” press release about the OFT ruling from the shadow Farms Minister, James Paice, headlined “The price of milk should not be fixed”.

There really is no point crying over this…

Unhappy Halloween

Gove does the intellectual attack muttering about a sad loss of idealism one minute, next minute CCHQ rolls out this poster to commemorate non-election day. Coulson wouldn’t have had a hand in this would he?

Raving Tories Play the Bass to the Base

The Tories got all Eeeed-up with this video to the conference hall. What with Thatcher becoming (as exclusively predicted here) cool again and now the Tories leading a rave revival it is all giving Guido a warm nostalgic feeling. Acieeed!

Picture Imperfect

To pick up a media pass for the Conservative conference in Blackpool they specify that you have to bring photo-ID. Your face is not good enough?

Nadine Dorries Fails Conference Security Check

Nadine Dorries MP is having problems getting a pass for the Tory conference, her researcher has already been refused a pass on the grounds that his pass was taken in front of a tree.

Is CCHQ trying to tell the garrulous Cornerstone supporter something?

Trouble on the Fringe

Something tells Guido that the news that education policy dissident Graham Brady will be speaking at a Tory fringe event organised by the National Grammar Schools Association will not fill CCHQ’s Cameroons with joy. The media will be looking for “Tory division” stories in what will be a packed room. Shouldn’t be too hard to find plenty of old school Tories there…

Hat-tip : Ben Brogan

Undercover Journalist Uncovered by Google

Iain has a story about the Daily Mirror Caught Trying to Infiltrate Conservative HQ with a posh girl. She came unstuck after they Googled her name and came up with her Mirror byline, then they checked the source of her

[…]

+ READ MORE +

Lazy Tory Slackers M.I.A.

Iain is having a go at Peter Ainsworth for going M.I.A. (Missing In Airtime) during the floods, Benedict Brogan said something similar about part-time shadow cabinet members recently, a bemused journo told Guido he couldn’t believe Hague was

[…]

+ READ MORE +

News of the Dave

The Guidoisation of politics continues with news of the appointment of Andy Coulson*, formerly editor of the News of the Screws, to become the new propaganda chief for Dave. He’ll bring a more robust tabloid headline sensitive approach that

[…]

+ READ MORE +

Workers Soviet Council Formed at CCHQ

Nominations for officers of the CCHQ Staff Association close on Friday. The inaugral meeting will be on June 1st.
Soviet-style it will be a party approved union, organising picnics and such-like. Millbank Militant demands at the AGM are

[…]

+ READ MORE +



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Quote of the Day

David Cameron tells MPs after voting:

“Wouldn’t miss this for the world. Secret ballots very important. Remember the Chartists.”

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