Thursday, April 24, 2008

Hague : Lost in Africa

CCHQ sends a press release:
Shadow Foreign Secretary William Hague, has today called on David Miliband to take urgent action with regard to the Chinese ship, currently heading to Uganda carrying arms bound for Zimbabwe.

Guido suggests the Shadow Foreign Secretary need not lose any sleep over Chinese ships heading to Uganda. Just a hunch…

Friday, April 11, 2008

Kick in the Balls

This is pretty addictive – a role playing game. Once you master the keyboard skills you (as Jack Straw) can head butt, kick, punch, round house, upper cut, right hook, elbow on jump on Ed Balls. The parliamentary web-servers are overloaded with players this morning…

This game has been produced by Her Majesty’s Official Opposition. The Guidoisation of democracy continues…

Friday, January 25, 2008

Doh!


Kevin Maguire’s made up story, Kirkup’s speculation, Sam Coates’ blog. Doh!

Tuesday, December 18, 2007

CCHQ Designated Party Poopers Tonight

CCHQ are having their Christmas party tonight. Somebody is worried that the boys and girls will get out of hand. Surely not, this isn’t the Bullingdon Club after all…

Dear All,

HR have just had a word with me regarding the CCHQ duty of care and tonight’s party.

In essence this means each Department nominating someone to ‘be sensible’ and ensure that each of their people aren’t found (a) drunk (b) abusing other members of staff and (c) that each person in their team gets off the premises safely.

Therefore please can I leave it to you all to nominate someone sensible within your teams to make sure that tonight goes smoothly?

Many thanks

Jennie Gorbutt │ Party Chairman’s Office │CCHQ

The Human Resources party-pooper is Giles Inglis-Jones, who once tried to impose a gagging contract on all CCHQ staff. He is not popular at CCHQ nor, as you can see above, was the gagging contract successful.

Do feel free to email pictures of “sensible” drunken fun to Guido, photocopied bum prints are a must…


UPDATE : The Tory Christmas card is here. The more ideological one from those Eurosceptic jokers is here.

Friday, December 7, 2007

Tory Spin Breaks Fundamental Rule

CCHQ have just sent out a “Why, oh why” press release about the OFT ruling from the shadow Farms Minister, James Paice, headlined “The price of milk should not be fixed”.

There really is no point crying over this…

Tuesday, October 30, 2007

Unhappy Halloween

Gove does the intellectual attack muttering about a sad loss of idealism one minute, next minute CCHQ rolls out this poster to commemorate non-election day. Coulson wouldn’t have had a hand in this would he?

Monday, October 1, 2007

Raving Tories Play the Bass to the Base

The Tories got all Eeeed-up with this video to the conference hall. What with Thatcher becoming (as exclusively predicted here) cool again and now the Tories leading a rave revival it is all giving Guido a warm nostalgic feeling. Acieeed!

Tuesday, September 25, 2007

Picture Imperfect

To pick up a media pass for the Conservative conference in Blackpool they specify that you have to bring photo-ID. Your face is not good enough?

Friday, September 21, 2007

Nadine Dorries Fails Conference Security Check

Nadine Dorries MP is having problems getting a pass for the Tory conference, her researcher has already been refused a pass on the grounds that his pass was taken in front of a tree.

Is CCHQ trying to tell the garrulous Cornerstone supporter something?

Wednesday, September 19, 2007

Trouble on the Fringe

Something tells Guido that the news that education policy dissident Graham Brady will be speaking at a Tory fringe event organised by the National Grammar Schools Association will not fill CCHQ’s Cameroons with joy. The media will be looking for “Tory division” stories in what will be a packed room. Shouldn’t be too hard to find plenty of old school Tories there…

Hat-tip : Ben Brogan



Balls Calls for Deeper Cuts | Speccie
Lessons from the Thirties | CPS
PMQs Idiots | Harry Cole
Jon Cruddas is Not the Messier | Dan Hodges
We Should Honour Victims | Bob Blackman
Bad Al Campbell Spinning for Portland | PR Week
HuffPo’s House Jihadi | Washington Free Beacon
Osborne Gets His Soundbite | Nick Robinson
Moonbat versus Chomsky | Charles Crawford
Beecroft is “S**t” | LibDem MP
News of the World Trailed Watson’s Mistaken Mistress | Indy
Shabana Mahmood MP Saves Brum Market | ITV News
Plan a Velvet Divorce for the €uro | Gideon Rachman
Truth About Romney’s Bain “Vampire Capitalism” | Wall Street Journal
Clegg’s Revenge | Nick Wood
Cleaning Out Stables | Biased BBC

Previously Seen


Peter Botting



Iran’s military chief-of-staff, Major General Hassan Firouzabadi…

“The Iranian nation is standing for its cause and that is the full annihilation of Israel”.



The last Quango in Paris says:

Mr Bryant and Mr Watson managing to make the whole hacking affair look like a farce – the more they moan the less I care about the whole subject! So partisan it beggars belief at all costs. They cannot rise above it ! If I was to call the PM a ‘liar’ I would want to be VERY sure.



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