Tories Charging “Cash for Access” to Meet Dave Tomorrow

This pinged into the inboxes of some lucky Tories in the south of England this afternoon. The line in bold has sparked local outrage:

INVITATION
Party Members are invited to meet
The Prime Minister
in Portsmouth
on
Tuesday 17 February 2015
commencing at 2.30pm
Due to security requirements, attendees must
PRE-REGISTER FOR THE EVENT
Members who wish to attend should register their request by email to
XXX@Conservatives.com
by 5.00pm on Monday 16 February 2015.
Accepted applicants will be advised of the event location by email on Monday evening.
A donation of £10 per head, payable upon entrance, would be much appreciated to cover the costs of the event.
Please bring a form of photo identification to the event.

Making money from room-meat. Guido is awaiting comment to find out whether this is new standard procedure. They’ve dropped the prices from last week though, down from £5,000-a-plate to a tenner on the door…

UPDATE: A co-conspirator gets in touch to say it was the same in Northfield. Birmingham last Friday. Ten pound a head…

Show Us Your Receipt, Ed!

Talking of cash in hand, Miliband had the roofers in to his North London home last year.

He did get a receipt, didn’t he?

Stanley Fink to Ed Miliband: Bring It On

Stanley Fink is very angry with Miliband using him as a tax dodging tool to try beat up the PM earlier. He has a pretty good explanation for his Swiss bank account too:

“I challenge you to repeat your allegation outside of the House of Commons – or to withdraw it publically [sic].” 

UPDATE:

Daylight Rubbery! Condoms in Venezuela Cost $755

Retailers in Venezuela will soon be wrapping up their businesses as the price of condoms in the joyless socialist dystopia climax at $755 a pack. The population is split and the secret police have been unsheathed to restore order, accusing businesses of running Trojan hoarding operations. “The country is so messed up that now we have to wait in line even to have sex,” says a frustrated Jonatan “Johnny” Montilla, while Jhonatan “Johnny” Rodriguez complains that abortion is illegal: “without condoms we can’t do anything“. Just the tip of the unrest. Time to pull out?

Polly’s “Precarious” Guardian Has £850 Million Cash Reserves

Polly Toynbee has a full page advert in today’s Guardian asking readers to “become a Founder member” for £540-a-year. In other words write them a cheque because the £1.60 they pay to read the paper isn’t enough to save it from its “precarious” position:

“The Guardian’s life has always been precarious because we don’t have an owner or a corporation propping us up. We don’t have a press baron or oligarch ordering us to take their political or commercial line. We swim along in a dangerous world of media sharks, our independence precious and unique.”

As Press Gazette points out, the “precarious” Guardian currently has cash reserves of £850 million since selling its stake in Autotrader last year. Cynical tax strategies have kept the Guardian afloat whilst simultaneously campaigning against tax avoidance. Amazingly £850 million has built an endowment that will allow the unpopular paper to lose money in perpetuity. All without paying any corporation or capital gains taxes for years…

Pic via @wblau

Jim Murphy Breaks Silence on Expenses Irn-Bru

Finally – some seven hours later – Murphy’s spinners have worked out a line on his shocking Irn-Bru expenses claims. A Scottish Labour Party spokesperson said:

“As most people know, Mr Murphy drinks bucket loads of of Irn Bru. Over the years it’s thought that he has single-handedly kept the House of Commons Irn-Bru supplier in business. He has paid for it himself except for these two cans totaling £1.30.”​

Which slightly misses the point as to why these two were on expenses.

There is no apology nor any explanation here.

Pay it back, Jim…

Tim’s Troughing Far From Yeo-ver

YEO

Three decades of his MPs’ salary, expenses and all those lucrative green energy interests and troughing Tory Tim Yeo is still at it. As Guido revealed in yesterday’s Sun, even though he is leaving Westminster in just three months, Yeo has hired his long-suffering wife Diane as his new office assistant. Parliament dissolves in a matter of weeks so the taxpayer is paying the Yeo family to packs his bags…

Blair Already Back Electioneering For Labour

There was plenty of chatter in the broadsheets this weekend about what, if any, role Tony Blair would play in the coming Labour election campaign. However – as readers of the Sun on Sunday would know – Mr Tony was already back and doing his part to raise cash for candidates last week. As Guido revealed yesterday, Tony and Cherie made a rare public appearance together on Thursday at the Grand Imperial Hotel for a glitzy fundraiser for gay Labour candidates.

Last seen awkwardly posing for a very uncomfortable Christmas card, friends were surprised to see the pair work the room just like the old days, despite a turbulent year. “He was very wistful,” says Guido’s mole, “he’s really starting to show his age”. There were handbags later after Chris Bryant “made a bitchy comment about Tony and loyalty to Ed Miliband”. Guido hears Chris was swiftly – and loudly – reminded of his public letter-writing campaign that helped bring Blair down. Sic semper…

McXlusive: Jim Murphy Claims For Irn-Bru on Expenses

Jim Murphy portrays himself as the Irn Bru street fighter, campaigning on crates with a bottle in his hand. A man of the people…

Now Guido can reveal that not only is Murphy so out of touch […]

+ READ MORE +

I Wouldn’t Take Money From PWC Says Ex-Employee Hodge
+ Hodge Family Firm Stemcor Employs PWC
+ Admits She Still Receives Pension From Her Time There

Worth listening to the end of Margaret Hodge’s interview on the World at One as she is politely reminded of her massive hypocrisy when it comes to Pricewaterhouse Coopers. Hodge began by slamming Labour’s Shadow Cabinet – including Ed Ball[…]

+ READ MORE +

Tory MP Slammed By Expenses Watchdog
+ Ordered to Pay Back £1,000 in Incorrect Mileage Claims 
+ Claimed ‘For Twice the Distance Shown on Google Maps’

+ Guilty of “Incorrect” and “Laissez-faire Attitude” to Expenses

Tory MP Bob Blackman has been found guilty of repeatedly over-claiming for his mileage expenses by IPSA and has been ordered to pay back more than £1,000 to the taxpayer. In a damning report released this morning the expenses watchdog […]

+ READ MORE +

Outsourced Government IT Project Saves Taxpayers Money

verify gov

The Government Digital Service has made a massive stride towards fixing the hated Government Gateway, the cumbersome registration portal that users need to access online government services. The Cabinet Office has announced today that its new alternative verification service, GOV.UK […]

+ READ MORE +



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Quote of the Day

Labour candidate Clive Lewis tells the Staggers:

“I mean, in the multiverse there’s still three universes in a hundred where there’s a Green MP in Norwich, so anything could happen. I could be caught with my pants down behind a goat with Ed Miliband at the other end – well, hopefully that won’t happen.”

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