“Energy secretary Chris Huhne is launching the first new grid connection to Europe for 25 years today” which must be exciting. A government source just confirmed to Guido that they are keeping Huhne on a very low profile for the next couple of days. That would explain why today he was sent to that known bastion of political action, Rochester. Why? 

Guido now has it triple sourced that two Sunday papers are going to put the bullet provided for them by Mrs Huhne straight through the Secretary of State for Energy and Climate Change’s head. Speeding points and the rest…

Guido has been digging on this one all week and the it’s a total mess. One Downing Street source gave him a 10% survival rate past Sunday…

UPDATE:

Spotted at the Bleeding Heart Restaurant on Tuesday. Vicky Pryce aka Mrs Chris Huhne. Irony.—
Eye Spy MP (@eyespymp) May 12, 2011

There’s a thin line between sorrow and rage.

There will be champagne glasses chinking in Downing Street tonight as the news emerges that the Telegraph have sacked Simon Heffer. No friend of Dave, the conservative journalist is apparently off to “pursue a role in journalism and broadcasting that will allow him to complete a major literary project while developing his academic interests.” Will that be at the better-off-out Express or better-off-out UKIP, or both?

Telegraph sources say the “column had got into a rut.” Officially editor Tony Gallagher said “While I am sorry to see him depart, I fully understand his reasons and he leaves with everyone’s best wishes.” And a very large cheque Guido hears.

Chris Huhne falls back to 3/1 to be next to exit cabinet http://bit.ly/cabexit—
PoliticSmarkets (@politicsmarkets) May 05, 2011

Chris Huhne is booked to tour the broadcast studios tonight and tomorrow. He’ll be aiming to tickle the clitoris of the sandalistas, positioning himself Heseltine-like as the next LibDem leader. Will he walk from cabinet claiming those nasty Toy boys were horrible? A source points out that his ministerial pension rights don’t kick in for another ten days…

Tory MP Alok Sharma has been digging into the union officials that are paid full time by the state. Basically local government versions of Nurse Pilgrim, whom Guido exposed last week.

Sharma asked the number of council-paid employees working full-time on trade union business, as well as the aggregate bill and the estimated cost of any other resources used by these officials

319 of 429 councils responded to the FOI request. 132 had a paid full-time union official in at least one of the last 3 years, whilst 187 did not. As yesterday, 110 councils had not responded including the  slashing Labour controlled Manchester City Council.

The total salary bill over the last three years for full-time union reps was £35 million. This does not include the cost of employing someone else to do the job vacated by the union reps. The unions should be paying for these staffers, not the taxpayer.

Meanwhile our favourite Nurse Pilgrim is causing trouble again. Outraged that the hospital she works at won’t be shutting down for the Royal Wedding she is organisng an official complaint

From: Jane Pilgrim [mailto:Jane.Pilgrim@███████.nhs.uk]
Sent: 26 April 2011 16:48
To: ████████████████
Subject: RE: royal wedding
Sensitivity: Confidential

Dear All,

It seems that the Trust are putting up stiff resistance to our various letters,

It does now seem that a collective grievance would be appropriate. UNISON has agreed to this..

Please let me know if you wish to be part of a collective grievance by 11th May,

Many Thanks

Jane Pilgrim ( Staff Side Secretary)

Guido wouldn’t have had this “peace and love” hippy squatter down as an arch-monarchist. Especially as she has now joined the Green Party who are abolitionist. Heaven forbid she might actually have to do a days work though. How exactly is Jane expecting lives to be saved if everyone at the hospital gets the day off?

Want access to the Deputy Prime Minister? Well if you have a spare £25,000 lying around, the LibDems are offering you “unrivalled networking opportunities” at the “Leaders Forum” dining club. PR Week report that the cash-strapped LibDems could make over a million in the sort of fundraising drive the Tories and Labour have been doing for years.  Given that you pay your money into an RBS account and then you get to meet Clegg, it seems a little absurd that they are denying that this is anything other than cash for access.

Though with Clegg’s track record, Guido would get those winks and nudges in writing…

Despite assuring us that he intended to disappear into the obscurity of the lefty charity world, the horror of Gordon becoming the head of the IMF somehow seems possible. On manoeuvres in Bretton Woods, Brown has been lobbying, without a trace of irony, to take the leadership of the body which is charged with managing deficits in cash strapped countries. Another week where the people of Kirkcaldy have been well represented in Parliament. 

Guido isn’t so sure he’s quite the shoe in that he is briefing he is, though perhaps they were impressed with his prudent management style and understanding of how governments can rack up such huge debts. Osborne’s people have made it clear that they would block the £270,000 pa appointment: ”It would be an insult to the British public if Gordon Brown were to be put forward for this job. This is the man who wrecked the British economy and has never apologised. It is not going to happen on our watch.”

Guido won’t be buying back those Nokia shares just yet.

There was uproar this morning as it emerged that the supplier of muffins and pastries to the parliamentary coffee shops went bust over-night. Panicked researchers have been assured by the powers that be that they will find a new supplier over the weekend. Despite the taxpayer subsidies they received, the old company couldn’t get a loan and has declared itself bankrupt. Clearly no dough in it.

The word Lisbon has been at the heart of the European project for the last few years, but this morning it’s a dirty word, as they finally reached for their inevitable begging bowl. The bailout bill looks set to come in at around €70b and despite Stephanie Flanders’s best attempts to spin it on Today as “closer to the nothing side of the spectrum”, Britain is liable.

Spain is now the last of the “PIGS” not to be bailed out, though they were quick to stress last night that they are apparently fine. The UK is making nominal advances on its deficit, where Portugal rejected austerity measures and the plug was pulled. They now faces harsher and broader cuts than those that were recently proposed.

There is a lesson there…

The government is this morning encouraging us to blow the whistle on unpaid work placements. Social mobility is apparently being hindered by unpaid internships and Nick Clegg is clamping down. Allow Guido to blow the first of such whistles.

Co-conspirators have pointed out that yesterday the LibDems published their internship scheme online:

“Our internships are short, intensive volunteer placements that offer you the opportunity to gain experience of the practical and professional side of Party politics, giving you the chance to join the team at Liberal Democrat HQ and parliament and experience life at the heart of Westminster.”

Guido’s emphasis. And it’s not just a couple of kids helping out with stuffing envelopes, there are graduate interns in the following departments:

“Campaigns, Policy (x3), Media, Fundraising, Chief Executive’s Department, Diversity, Liberal Youth, Membership and Development, Parliamentary Whips’ Offices (x3 Commons and Lords).”

Guido has asked for confirmation of just how many of these “volunteers” are in Cowley Street at anyone time. So everyone else has to pay the minimum wage for their staff, except the LibDems who run their party machine for free?

UPDATE: Cowley Street squirmed a little on the line before doing a quick headcount. Apparently there is only one intern in the office today, and though they are not on a wage the spinner was quick to stress they are getting expenses. Which makes everything ok.