LISTEN: Boris Can’t Name Tory Clacton Candidate

The Mayor of London has evidently never seen Bread. Any connoisseur of eighties sitcoms knows that the Tory candidate in Clacton is actor Giles Watling, but not Boris on LBC this morning:

BJ: “We’ve got a fantastic guy called… bloody… superb man… Stirling? Girling? Something like that. What’s he called? You tell me.”

NF: “Giles…”

BJ: “Giles… come on what is it again?”

NF: “Giles… the Bread actor? Remember Bread?”

BJ: “No. Come on stop sitting there like a great big fat Buddha and tell me the name of this guy.”

NF: “No need to get personal Mr Mayor… It’s Giles Watling.”

BJ: “Giles Watling, that’s right. I knew it. Something to do with ling. Tingaling.”

Close…

Labour Play the By-Election Race Card Heywood and Middleton Candidate: White is “Ordinary”

“I’m just an ordinary white working class person,” says Liz McInnes, Labour’s candidate in Heywood and Middleton, where UKIP have risen 28% in the polls since 2010. Does she mean non-white voters aren’t “ordinary”? Didn’t take long for Labour to stoop to dog whistle politics…

Shapps Confirms PM Will Campaign in Clacton

Many thought the PM would want to avoid the UKIP landslide. Apparently not…

In case you missed the Guy News special report during conference, it’s not looking good for the Tories on the Essex coast:

Guido is not sure a visit from Dave will do much to turn that around…

Ashcroft Clacton Poll: UKIP 56% v Tories 24%

Carswell hold…

Carswell: The Old Parties Respond

Tories:

“This is a regrettable and frankly counterproductive decision. As  Douglas Carswell said, the only way to get a referendum on the EU is to return a majority Conservative government. The Conservative party will contest the forthcoming by-election vigorously to make sure the people in Clacton have a strong conservative voice in this parliament and the next.”

‘The Conservative Party will contest the by-election vigorously, to ensure that the people of Clacton have a strong Conservative voice in this Parliament and the next.’

Labour:

“Douglas Carswell’s defection is a hammer blow to David Cameron. Confidence in David Cameron is collapsing inside a Conservative party which is divided and running scared of UKIP. David Cameron’s weak leadership has seen him abandon the centre ground, repeatedly trying to pander to his own right-wing backbenchers rather than concentrate on the needs of the country. Now even his own side are abandoning him.”

Panic stations.

UKIP Steal Council Seat In Miliband’s Doncaster on 20% Swing

Guido would call Doncaster Miliband’s ‘backyard’, but given the Labour leader barely spends any time there, he will stick with ‘Ed’s constituency’. Either way UKIP are in the ascendency in Ed’s constituency, as proved by Thursday’s stunning Doncaster Metropolitan Borough Council by-election that saw a 20.5% swing away from Labour in Edenthorpe.

UKIP took 41% of the vote to Labour’s 38%.

Suddenly Farage’s plan to hold UKIP conference in the area does not look so brazen…

WATCH:  Farage Concedes – ‘Tories Will Win by 3,000 Votes’

[jwplatform src=”http://content.jwplatform.com/players/C8CQsriE-jai0rrQN.js”]

“The Conservatives will hold this seat but what UKIP will do is score their best ever percentage score in a by-election. It’s going to be over 30%. [The Tory majority] will be two or three thousand. It will be very difficult to think we could have done much better. It’s been a very short by-election, we couldn’t really mobilise anybody until after the European elections. The Conservatives have probably put more into this than any by-election they’ve ever fought in their history. All round, I can assure you that the People’s Army will be very happy with this result tonight.”

If Farage is right and UKIP polled over 30% that will be very uncomfortable for the Tories…

Final Survation Newark Poll Predicts Comfortable Tory Win

The polls have closed in Newark and Survation have released the results of their final poll in the constituency:

The results are expected between 2am and 3am…

It’s a Jolly Holiday With NigelFarage Spends Home Stretch of Campaign 1,718 Miles From Newark

With the polls opening in a matter of hours for a crunch by-election, where is the leader of the party that is hoping to break through to Westminster for the first time? Nigel Farage is certainly not in Newark. Instead he was spotted at the Hilton Hotel in sunny Malta, 1,718 miles from rainy old Nottinghamshire.[…] Read the rest

+ READ MORE +

UKIP Block in Disabled Parker After Suspecting Dirty Tricks

UKIP campaigners suspected foul play in Newark this morning when a driver parked a car two feet from their stall in the market place. In their paranoia, how did they respond to what must have been dirty tricks? They sandwiched “Vote UKIP” signs around the offending vehicle:

Which made for an awkward scene after accusing the Tories of parking there, only to find it was a disabled driver trying to get the shops:

Yikes.[…] Read the rest

+ READ MORE +

Ashcroft Newark Poll Has Tories 15 Points Clear

Lord Ashcroft reports:

“A by-election two weeks after the European election means that Newark’s electors have enjoyed the prolonged attention of the parties, a privilege for which they must surely be grateful. The evidence from my poll is that the Tories have had the better of an intense ground war and have by no means taken the seat for granted.

[…] Read the rest

+ READ MORE +

Flapping Tories Threaten Candidates in Last Ditch Newark Bid

shapps

In further proof that the Tories are in a bit of a flap about Newark, the party chairman has just threatened the six hundred wannabe Tory MPs that they will be booted off the approved candidates list if they do not campaign ahead of Thursday’s poll.[…] Read the rest

+ READ MORE +

Newark Responds to Mass Immigration of Politicians

Enough to feed a People’s Army…[…] Read the rest

+ READ MORE +

Another Troublesome Peer Leaks Polling Data to Troll Leader

Lord Oakeshott jumped before he was pushed last week, after commissioning unsolicited bad news polling for the  LibDems, but has he set a precedent? Nick Clegg said he thought it ‘totally unacceptable’ that a ‘senior member of the party’ was ‘spending time and money to undermine the fortunes of the party’ and that ‘appropriate measures’ would be taken.[…] Read the rest

+ READ MORE +

Helmer’s Italian Parliamentary Aide Francesca in Newark

Yesterday Roger Helmer told the Speccie that his glamorous Italian assistant Francesca Salierno was not working on his by-election campaign in Newark, merely supporting him in his Brussels role as an MEP. That said, the lady in the photo below standing a few feet away from Nigel Farage handing out UKIP leaflets in Newark this afternoon does bear a remarkable likeness to her:

20140531-125210-46330260.jpg

Perhaps Francesca has a twin, or like the Tory SpAds the PM ordered to Newark, she is “on holiday”…[…] Read the rest

+ READ MORE +

Helmer: Nigel Would Do a Better Job Than Me in Newark

The Speccie have been up to Newark to interview the Tory and UKIP candidates ahead of next week’s by-election. Roger Helmer has admitted that even he doesn’t think he’s the best man for the job:

“Nigel has that enormous box office presence, and I’m sure he would do a better job than I would do.

[…] Read the rest

+ READ MORE +



Tip offs: 0709 284 0531
team@Order-order.com

Quote of the Day

Heidi Alexander sums up Labour’s approach to aspiration:

“Babies grow up to become taxpayers.”

Guidogram: Sign up

Subscribe to the most succinct 7 days a week daily email read by thousands of Westminster insiders.

Facebook

Corbyn’s Celeb Mate: Stab Tory MPs for a Laugh Corbyn’s Celeb Mate: Stab Tory MPs for a Laugh
Phil Shiner Banged to Rights Phil Shiner Banged to Rights
Core Labour Vote There For UKIP’s Taking Core Labour Vote There For UKIP’s Taking
Lib-Green Pact Plot Leaked Lib-Green Pact Plot Leaked
Tories Braced for Charges Over South Thanet Tories Braced for Charges Over South Thanet
Max Fine for Law Breaking Lib Dems Max Fine for Law Breaking Lib Dems
TROT SUPER-FACTION ORGANISING MOMENTUM TAKEOVER TROT SUPER-FACTION ORGANISING MOMENTUM TAKEOVER
Santa Paws: Phil Hammond’s Christmas Card Santa Paws: Phil Hammond’s Christmas Card
Government Values Guardian Readers Most Highly Government Values Guardian Readers Most Highly
Treasury Implements Amy Lame Tax Treasury Implements Amy Lame Tax
Fidel’s Final Push Fidel’s Final Push
Newmark Back Helping Women2Win Newmark Back Helping Women2Win
BoJo Ho Ho! Christmas Returns to FCO BoJo Ho Ho! Christmas Returns to FCO
Naz Shah Attends Extremist-Linked Event Naz Shah Attends Extremist-Linked Event
HEIDI ALLEN IN MAYORAL ROW HEIDI ALLEN IN MAYORAL ROW
Renzi Loses Referendum – Resigns Renzi Loses Referendum – Resigns
WATCH: Clegg Gets Brillo’d WATCH: Clegg Gets Brillo’d
Brexit Book War – Latest Brexit Book War – Latest
Public Heath England Gets Booze Sums Wrong Public Heath England Gets Booze Sums Wrong