Friday, February 25, 2011

London’s Working Class Prefer Boris to Ken

The latest YouGov polling [pdf] on the London mayoral voting intentions shows Boris leads Ken 44% to 41% amongst the “C2DE” working class voters, even though Labour has a 12% lead nationally amongst the same group of voters in a general election. Ken is clearly the Islington Guardianista candidate…

Downing Street should be worried – the failure to attract working class voters stopped Dave from winning last year. On these numbers Boris could have done it…

Tuesday, December 14, 2010

+ + + Bonking Boris Cleared over Complaint + + +

Mayor Boris has been cleared of any wrongdoing regarding the hiring of Helen “Mini-Cheddars” Macintyre, the mother of his love-child, after her then husband made a substantial donation. The complaint from Labour was chucked out.

Boris’s shagging is barely a story anymore…

Monday, November 29, 2010

Boris Faces Mistress Scandal Probe

The ongoing mystery surrounding Boris’s mistress, her then boyfriend’s £80,000 donation and her subsequent landing of a job as an Olympic fundraiser just got a little more serious for the wayward Mayor.

Boris is now facing an official investigation regarding Helen Macintyre, the mother of his love child and the latest “love of his life”, and why exactly she got her job. The Standard neatly summarises some awkward questions that need answering:

What are the claims Boris faces?

That he has breached several sections of the GLA code of conduct. This states he should never “improperly confer an advantage on any person”, “place yourself in situations where honesty and integrity may be questioned” or make any decision which affects the “financial position of… any person with whom you have a close association”. It also states that he must “make decisions on merit, including making appointments” and “indicate that you have a personal interest” when one arises.

Labour have triggered the investigation and smell blood after Boris’s election promise to end cronyism at City Hall, something that so damaged the last months of Ken’s regime, though it should be borne in mind that the post was unpaid. Still, not sure this one can be dismissed as an “inverted pyramid of piffle”…

UPDATE : Whilst we’re on the subject, Guido has been meaning to mention for some time that Helen Macintyre’s nickname at Edinburgh University – given to her by a boyfriend – was “mini-cheddars”.

Wednesday, October 27, 2010

Boris Wasn’t Pushed Out, He Jumped

A usually reliable source emails to say contrary to speculation (see below) Boris hasn’t been thrown out by the long-suffering Marina. He has left her and is under the delusion that the latest love interest is “The One”. Here we go again…

Friday, September 17, 2010

Friday Caption Competition (PoJo Edition)

Monday, August 23, 2010

Boris and the Bankers Boogie at Boujis

It seems the age of austerity is yet to hit the gold lined pavements of SW7. Fancy paying £2,500 for dinner with the Mayor and maybe even a dance at favourite Royal haunt Boujis? There will be no banker bashing here…

And for a bounder about town what better way to make sure your girlfriends don’t all bump into each other and cause a dreadful fuss…

Just make them all wear masks!

Monday, July 19, 2010

Boris Rides On

Asked earlier this morning whether he had fathered Helen Macintyre’s baby, Boris was quick to give a full and frank explanation to the story:

“I think this is a fantastic cycle superhighway and I hope people will enjoy it. I’m not getting distracted by any adverse headlines.”

A pretty water-tight denial eh?

Conversation eventually drifted towards arriving “full of serotonin, endorphins, energy”. It is thought the Mayor was discussing his cycle to work rather than anything else…

Thursday, July 15, 2010

Bonking Boris Round-Up

Guido did hint at this back in June when there were febrile rumours of injunctions, newspapers camped on doorsteps and even a bastard baby Boris.

The Mirror says there is no suggestion of an affair and then suggests exactly that, while the high-minded Guardian uses the excuse of Helen McIntyre’s unannounced involvement in his “Olympian Erection” to justify its coverage, quoting a Boris spokesman saying that it was the Mayor’s “enthusiasm for private philanthropy” that meant her appointment as a fundraiser on the project had never been publicly announced. Boris clearly likes a bit of “private philanthropy” on the side.

Over at The Evening Standard they explain how this simple ‘friendship’ drove McIntyre apart from her billionaire partner Pierre Rolin. She later reported Rolin for harassment – but not before she’d found time to shag date William Cash, son of Tory MP Bill. So she clearly has a penchant for Tories.

Currently the City Hall game-plan is to say nothing, a plan that has worked up until this morning, given that the rumours have been swirling around since before the general election. Nobody is likely to confess to having had an affair and it is hard to see Ken making an issue of it given the five kids he has fathered by three different women (impressively managing to get two women simultaneously pregnant). Neither is Lembit likely to raise sexual athletics as an issue. The London mayoral contest is not going to be lacking for virility…

It could still get a little embarrassing for Boris, Charles Moore cracks this joke about Boris in speeches “I told Boris I don’t care what he does in his private life and he told me ‘Nor do I’ “.  There is also an attractive American woman who escaped to New York and entertains friends in Manhattan with anecdotes about her pursuit by Boris. His chat up line to her she says was, “I limit myself to one mistress per annum. How would you like to be Miss 2009?” Guido reckons Boris is nevertheless electorally bullet-proof, since it won’t be news to the voters that he is a serial shagger…

Monday, June 21, 2010

Breaking News from South Africa :
Boris Caught Playing On Vuvuzela Away from Home

Rumour has it that the Daily Mail has caught Boris playing on the vuvuzela away from home.  Best he remember to bring five of them home for the kids…

Monday, May 24, 2010

King for Mayor

Guido is a little annoyed to be scooped by The Guardian about Oona King’s mayoral campaign. He had a very interesting chat with a cabbie who had picked up two apparatchiks on Victoria Street and overheard their in-depth conversation about the relative merits of King and openly discussing her very active campaign a few weeks back. Won’t bother trying to double source it next time…

High on their list of reasons why they were backing King was the cynical acceptance that it will play well that there has never been a female Mayor, or a black one. If her campaign is as organised as the two Labour staff were suggesting the Ken will not be a problem apparently. Oona vs. Boris? Insert joke here about there only being room for one king etc …


Seen Elsewhere

Carswell, the Clacton Cassandra | James Ford
Love Bomb Carswell | ConservativeHome
Denis MacShane’s Ex is Now Hacked Off Spokesman | Speccie
How the Carswell Story Unfolded | Sky News
How to Defect | Telegraph
Carswell Defection Will Dismay Thoughtful Tories | ConservativeHome
Carswell: Darling of the Tories, Labour and Now UKIP | Speccie
Where is the Love? | Tom Watson
Tory Eurosceptics Weakened | Speccie
Thacker Played Down Scandal | Times
How Clegg Lost the Women of Britain | Sophy Ridge


VOTER-RECALL
Get the book Find out more about PLMR


Douglas Carswell’s side-kick Dan Hannan MEP pours water on the obvious question:

“I won’t be joining UKIP, though I wish Douglas Carswell all the best. He has been a superb MP, and it’s honourable to stand for re-election.”



Owen Jones says:

We also need Zil lanes.


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