Tuesday, November 19, 2013

Red Ed Wine

Co-conspirators searched far and wide for a photo of Miliband drinking in a pub, and on the evidence above it seems pint-less Ed isn’t too keen on the stuff. That is unless the pub in question stocks Lanson champagne. These pics were taken at the Old Star pub in St James’ Park, where Ed spoke last month to a fitting backdrop:

Bottoms up!

Monday, November 4, 2013

Labour Owe Troubled Co-Operative Bank £3,391,000

The Co-Op bank’s £1.5 billion black hole will see 50 branches closed after the ‘ethical’ bank went cap in hand to hedge funds rescuers.

In 1999 the Labour Party borrowed £3,580,000 from the bank and only £189,000 has been repaid.

Miliband and Balls owe the troubled lenders £3,391,000. How many jobs could they save if they paid it back?

Tuesday, September 24, 2013

Balls in Bed With McBride

Perhaps the most awkward anecdote yet from McBride’s book. Passed out drunk and naked on his bed at Labour conference, McBride had to be woken by Ed Balls. With mentally scarring consequences:

“When I felt Ed grasping me by the shoulders, shouting quite loudly and giving me a shake I became about a quarter awake but unfortunately – in my addled and still drunk state – my mind interpreted what was happening as some amorous play-wrestling from a female bedmate. I started to roll over and try to pull ‘her’ onto me with a winsome “C’mere”, at which point Ed sharply lurched away from the bed with a “Good grief!” As I fully woke up, it was difficult to work out what was happening. I could see my bedroom door was open. apparently with several people whispering outside. I could hear bath water running with lots of irritated swearing coming from the bathroom – and I was stark naked with my clothes in front of the bed. As I sat up, Ed emerged from the bathroom with a face like thunder and hurled a binful of cold water over me, shouted: “Now for f***s sake get up” and stormed out.”

Probably one story Balls is less keen on telling about his old pal “Mr McBride”…

Monday, September 9, 2013

New Plan B: Re-Write History

A rather kind piece on the BBC website from Stephanie Flanders about how Ed Balls will react to Osborne’s speech. She helpfully lists possible lines for the Shadow Chancellor:

“In reply, Mr Balls will say:

1. He never said that austerity was the only thing holding back the recovery
2. Nor did he say that recovery was impossible without Plan B, though observers would say he came pretty close”
3. There have been many factors holding back growth since 2010, including the eurozone crisis.”

Really? Balls may well say that, but that does not mean it is true.

Firstly Balls told the BBC in May of this year that the Osborne was sticking to a plan that “isn’t balanced, which is a drag on growth, which has choked off recovery in my view.” Which sounds a lot like austerity holding back the recovery.

Secondly, Balls told the Commons in January 2011 that he believed the Prime Minister ‘is going too far and too fast with deficit reduction and that that is what is inhibiting growth in this country’. Yet growth has come without Balls’ Plan B for slower defect reduction.

Thirdly, Balls wrote in the Mirror in January 2012 that “now it’s the Eurozone crisis – why do the Tories never take the blame? Cameron and Osborne have only themselves to blame for what has happened on their watch.” So when it’s going badly the Tories can’t blame the Eurozone, yet when it’s going well, he can? 

Balls made these claims over and over again for three years, yet somehow Stephanie is giving him wriggle room. Guido didn’t realise that they were still friends withbenefits…

Friday, August 23, 2013

Labour Big Beasts Bash Balls

No other way of reading this piece by John Denham and Peter Hain in today’s Guardian other than as a thinly veiled slight at Ed Balls. They talk of Miliband’s perceived recognition that “many of the problems facing Britain required fundamentally different approaches and new solutions” than offered when the Shadow Chancellor was running the show behind the scenes, before concluding:

“The most valuable members of the shadow cabinet have been those who have set out radical long-term visions for their area of responsibility, such as Andy Burnham and Liz Kendall on the need to integrate a National Care Service into the NHS. Labour has been at its strongest when we have risen above the party political dogfight to speak the truth about what needs to be done.

There’s nothing to worry about in our current position so long as the entire Labour leadership team swiftly rediscovers the ability to do the same.”

Who could they possibly be talking about?

Wednesday, July 10, 2013

Labour Stars Turn Out For Fabian Gala Dinner

Finally Ed Balls has turned up. The suspiciously absent Shadow Chancellor held court at the Fabian Society’s champagne reception at the National Liberal Club last night. Following in a tradition their predecessors would have no doubt have approved of, it was survival of the richest at £100-a-ticket. Labour bloggers Laurence Durnan, Mark Ferguson and James Bloodworth chin-wagged with the party’s former head of digital Sue MacMillan before their Norwich North PPC Jessica Assato kicked off the much-needed money-raising auction. Tom Watson generously donated a signed copy of his DCMS committee report, vowing “if you do win it [he] promises not to invite you to a Drenge concert”. The report went for £100, paid by Ken Livingstone’s old pal Nicky Gavron. Worst party ever…

Monday, July 1, 2013

Balls Limo Ran Over Pensioner

A 65-year-old retired journalist has accused Ed Balls’ limo of running him over then driving off at a TUC conference. Tony Patey was admitted to hospital with a gashed leg after the alleged incident. He told the Sun:

injury“It rammed the front of my left leg, throwing me against the passenger door. I’m not sure who was more shocked, Mr Balls or me. His eyes and mouth were wide open.”

When will our streets be made safe from this menace?

Friday, June 28, 2013

Red Balls: Too Far, Too Fast, Too Often

20130628-084005.jpg Ed Balls – well, his lawyer – has been up in front of the magistrates yet again, pleading guilty to his third road offence in three years. Readers will remember how Balls ‘fessed up to being ordered to attend a speed awareness course in April, now our lawless Shadow Chancellor been done for running a red light outside Parliament. And he has the nerve to call Dave zippy…

UPDATE:

Thursday, June 27, 2013

Ed Balls Photobomb at Hamleys Toy Shop Shoot

Never work with children or animals…

Via Telegraph/Getty.

Wednesday, June 26, 2013

Ed Ballses Up Brillo Interview

Under pressure from Brillo earlier, Balls coughed that he believed “the cuts are deeper than they need to be” for the spending review. Meanwhile spinners were pushing the line that Labour will stick to spending cuts if elected in 2015. Which was even on the rather unfortunate ticker scrolling along the bottom of the screen while Balls was speaking. So these cuts are too deep but Labour will stick to them, eh?

Here is the video:


Seen Elsewhere

The Douglas Carswell Shock | Tim Stanley
Carswell is a True Moderniser | Charles Moore
Assembling a New World Order | Henry Kissinger
India’s Modi Bypasses Mainstream Media | Index
Bercow on the Knife Edge | Quentin Letts
Welcome to Mississippi | Conservative Women
LibDems Select Hancock Replacement | Blue Guerilla
Carswell Resigning: “Moment Labour Won Election” | Labour Uncut
Why We Need Change | Douglas Carswell
The Howard Roark of Westminster | Guardian
Carswell, the Clacton Cassandra | James Ford


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Douglas Carswell…

“I stab people in the front, not the back.”



Owen Jones says:

We also need Zil lanes.


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