Balls has admitted going too far too fast, spoiling a certain Sunday story in a blogpost this lunchtime:

“Like many local people, I was caught out by the never-ending roadworks on the M62. Pulling on to the motorway at Morley I realised too late that the speed restrictions were still in place. I was caught and bang to rights – doing 56 in a 50 mile restriction zone. Going too far, too fast, you might say.

I paid my fine and chose to attend a speed awareness course. I currently have no points on my licence and would like to keep it that way. Which is why, this week, I ended up in the Holiday Inn with 39 others.

The course was very professional and actually really worthwhile.”

The second time he has been done for a driving offence. At least he didn’t get Yvette to take the points…

Guido’s exclusive that Alex Belardinelli, henchman to Ed Balls, is to be replaced by Damian McBride, was always destined to remain exclusive.

Some people have no sense of humour:

Not the first time @GuidoFawkes has published totally invented stories about me. Not holding my breath for a correction or retraction though—
Alex Belardinelli (@abelardinelli) April 01, 2013

Others revealingly project their own Machiavellian ways:

.@GuidoFawkes Ye Gods, it's the old Unpopular Switcheroo Backlash Inducer; I thought over-use on A.Milburn had ruined that tactic for good.—
Damian McBride (@DPMcBride) April 01, 2013

Not today…

It always amuses Guido when Balls and Brown refer to the Prime Mentalist’s old spin doctor as “Mr McBride”. As Guido revealed in his Sun column yesterday, Balls has been quick to dash speculation that he might bring McPoison back into the fray.

The Shadow Chancellor’s spokesmen tells Guido Balls and McBride have only “bumped into each other twice” since Easter 2009, once at an Arsenal match and then at a Labour fundraising dinner. He insists “they’ve never discussed him coming back to work for the Labour Party”. McBride’s tales from Number 10 will certainly spice up Labour conference this September…

Alex Belardinelli, long-time Political Adviser to Ed Balls, ‏is moving to lobbyists Tetra Strategy - where his girlfriend Ellie Gellard already works on digital strategy. The move is scheduled to happen in the autumn after Labour Party conference.

Speculation is mounting that he could make way for a rehabilitated Damian McBride following party conference, when McBride is aiming to complete his public rehabilitation with the publication of his memoirs.

Labour sources say Balls has been unnerved by persistent speculation that he might be replaced by Alistair Darling in a re-shuffle by Ed Miliband ahead of the General Election. Bringing back heavy-weight Damian McBride would put rivals on notice that he would not go quietly and there would be consequences. An implicit threat they understand all too well…

Last year Belardinelli was humiliated when emails leaked in which he admitted a “screw up” meant Labour failed to vote against the reduction in the 50p rate of tax. The emails revealed he concocted a false line to spin to the media to cover up the screw up. Belardinelli worked for Tom Watson before Ed Balls and knows his way around Westminster and the media. In the event of Labour returning to government he will be able to cash in on his extensive contacts.

UPDATE: Important note.

Is there a competition in the cabinet as to who can come up with the most amusing alter ego for Ed Balls? Vince Cable gave it a good go yesterday noting how Balls reminded him of Basil Fawlty saying “don’t mention the war”, but the clear winner is IDS:

“It was quite amusing to watch the shadow Chancellor run around. More and more he reminds me of the film “Toy Story”, and that rather angry Mr Potato Head who wanders around shouting, screaming and being very angry to absolutely no effect at all. Disaster, chaos, crisis, U-turns—I wonder what he does in his private life when anything goes wrong. He is certainly not much help to his wife I expect.”

Uncanny…

They were all reading it here…

Vid via @liarpoliticians

Biographer and chronicler of the Brown years, Anthony Seldon, has a damning letter to Ed Balls in tomorrow’s New Statesman:

“The time has come for you to fall on your sword.

After 20 unbroken years at the heart of politics, quitting in the next few months until, say, 2017 would undoubtedly benefit your leader, your party, your wife and even yourself. Let me explain.

Ed Miliband would be a much stronger leader without you. Forgive me, but you stop Ed breathing fresh air.

With you close to him, his breath will always be stale and smell of a toxic brand. Without a prolonged period out of the public eye, neither you nor the party will ever rid yourselves of the opportunistic, negative and bullying image of the Gordon era.

Without you, Labour could present itself as a clean party, free of the factionalism and brutalism that so tarnished it when Brown was boss and you were his consigliere.

If Labour loses in 2015, you will be blamed and your career will be damaged beyond repair. If it wins, you would return to the front bench in 2017 a redeemed and respected figure. You might even one day become leader, your long-held ambition.”

Worth noting that Balls’ version of his 10p tax debate with Gordon differs markedly from what Seldon claimed in his book. A dangerously respected critic for Balls.

Via @politicshomeuk

Showing a characteristic display of financial carelessness, the Shadow Chancellor is literally throwing his money about. A co-conspirator passed Guido a paying-in slip for £6,500 that was dropped on the ground by Ed Balls last week, it got the Guy News team digging. Especially as Balls had been spotted before paying in similar amounts that do not match anything in the Register of Members Interests. Team Balls argue he was simply transferring his money between his building society savings account and his current account to deal with his personal deficit. With cheques. Guido would recommend online banking, safer and secure. Balls has always been so reckless when it comes to banks and money…

Ed Balls was never going to stay silent on the growing speculation about a humiliating sacking at the hands ruthless Ed Miliband. Dangerous subversive chatter over the Shadow Chancellor’s future has goaded the Balls spin machine into lashing out. As ever Kevin Maguire was the grateful recipient of the poison:

“Allies of the shadow chancellor whisper that he’d take his bat and balls away and retire to the back benches rather than swallow demotion to another portfolio.”

A pretty unsubtle threat from Ed. Read: Balls is not going to go quietly. 

Ed Balls isn’t even speaking this afternoon and he is still the laughing stock of parliament.

Baldemort was loving it…