Guido has wondered in the past what exactly Alison McGovern does as Gordon Brown’s PPS. He never turns up or speaks, so why the dubious honour? Given McGovern is pregnant, speculation is mounting as to who will fill in for her when she goes on maternity leave.

If she’s not replaced then questions will arise about her onerous and demanding role.

Backbenchers should form an orderly queue to make their pitch for the job.

Ultra-Brownite loyalist Kirsty McNeill has finally jumped ship from the tax-saving operation that is The Office of Gordon and Sarah Brown. The author of those tractor-stat speeches and stage manager of the cling to power, was brought in during those dark autumn days of 2009 when the Prime Mentalist was cracking under the pressure. She apparently told friends that she wanted to stay on until Gordon’s reputation has been restored after the election defeat. It seems she has got bored of waiting for hell to freeze over though…

Labour sources suggest that the OGSB has been very quiet in recently. With Brown’s PPS pregnant, and now his gatekeeper on the run, perhaps now would be an ideal time for the man himself to move on…

Guido speculated the other day about the role Douglas Alexander played in the onslaught that Ed’s leadership faced last week, and apparently the “Ed” book sheds some more light about his fraught relationship with his leader. Andy Grice reports:

Ed told his fellow Brownite Douglas Alexander that toppling Mr Brown “would be like killing our father”. The authors remark: “This vivid phrase again signifies Ed’s loyalty to his political ‘father’, Brown, not his real-life brother, David.” 

Although he was one of Ed’s oldest political friends, Mr Alexander decided to run David’s leadership election campaign. This was a blow to Ed. The two of them had gone on holiday together and their partners – Justine and Mr Alexander’s wife, Jackie – had also become close. “Ed’s desire to be leader meant his personal relationships were taking a battering,” says the book.

Ed told friends Mr Alexander was annoyed that a man younger than him was standing and believed a brother should not challenge an elder sibling. Mr Alexander was said to believe that Ed’s challenge had its roots in a long-established sibling rivalry and that the Labour leadership should not be “sacrificed” on the altar of it.

Is Wee Dougie avenging the spilt blood?

Peter Rask, Volvo’s UK boss, says..

“If only the Labour Party had been like today’s Volvos – dynamic, agile and innovative – perhaps the UK economy would have been in a better place than it finds itself today!”

Comparing sleek, fuel efficient, low emission cars to clunky old Gordon Brown seems wrong, he was more of a steam train. The “Lying Scotsman”…

Red Ed saw another bandwagon he could jump on at his press conference on Monday. He lashed out at “financiers who creamed off millions”, blaming them for the near collapse of the UK’s largest care-home provider Southern Cross, which is laying of thee thousand staff as it cannot afford its £250 million rent bill. American investors Blackstone made a £134.5m profit from their sale of the company in 2007. As they held their shares for two years after floating the business, they only had to pay Capital Gains Tax on 25% of this profit, which worked out at £33.6m. If they had paid CGT at the usual 40% rate on 100% of the gain, they would have had a tax bill of £53.8m – £40.4m higher than they paid. But who was it that enabled them to “cream off millions”?

In April 1998, the government introduced taper relief for business assets, whereby the CGT rate was charged on only a proportion of the gain made from the disposal of an asset. In 2002, the Treasury increased this taper. Rather than a taper of 50% for a business asset held for two complete years, it was reduced to 25%. And who was running the show while these changes were thought up and implemented? 

Please step forward Treasury Special Advisers Edward Miliband (1997 -2002) and Edward Balls (1997 – 2004).

IPSA have released the expenses figures for the last quarter and guess who managed to rack up an £8,870 bill? In the last three months Gordon Brown has not spoken in the House, nor has he voted in the House and it seems he only shows up to see Obama. In fact Gordon asked just two written questions back in March. So why exactly are we paying him four and half grand a pop?

The excuse that his constituency is a long way away, so he needs to claim more, doesn’t wash when he’s not actually doing any work for his constituents.

Meanwhile the former Prime Mentalist earned £70,000 for just one speech in Vegas…

For all the noise being made about Sepp Blatter’s unopposed return as FIFA President, it’s funny you didn’t hear the Labour lot moaning about coronations created by forcing out your opponents with dark arts in 2007. 

Though it looks to Guido like Sepp has been cursed for a while… 

Isn’t it funny how Brown won’t turn up to Parliament to represent the people of Kirkcaldy and earn the £65,738, plus expenses and the pension, we pay him? Instead he goes around the world as he bids to restore his reputation, banking thousands for speeches while he does so. Yet Obama turns up, and he’s up there like a greyhound. Perhaps it was to complain that those DVDs didn’t work…

Labour’s loved-up golden child, Chuka Umunna, proudly announced his minimal promotion via Twitter earlier. He’s going to join the Shadow Business team, but Guido was more intrigued by who Miliband chose to replace him as his bag-carrying  Parliamentary Private Secretary. Michael Dugher may be a member of the new intake, but he’s hardly new to the scene…

From starting out as a lobbyist, he worked his way through various government departments until he ended up in Brown’s bunker. Dugher was the Prime Mentalist’s chief political spokesman. He was there in all those dark days alongside the two Eds, working out how to spin disaster after disaster. So much for the “new generation”.

UPDATE: Danny Finkelstein observes that this is less of a promotion for Chuka and more of a shoring up of his private office with someone who has experience defending a beleagured bunker from a restless PLP. Here is what Brillo thought of the golden child:

Without a hint of irony Gordon is speaking today in Las Vagas to a convention of hedge fund investors. The Salt Conference is one of the largest gatherings in the world of investors, speculators and wealth creators. No doubt he will regale them with tales of how he saved the world from their evil destruction, lecture them about how they are all to blame for the financial crisis, and were it not for him, it would have been armageddon. Or will he just take the nice fat appearance fee, drone on about his book, and run the profit through his limited company to avoid paying the chokingly high income taxes his government forced on the country.

Meanwhile the people of Kirkcaldy still go unrepresented in Parliament. What good is Gordon doing for them in Vegas?  Guido pities anyone in the casinos, it’s going to be big wins for the house tonight with Jonah in town. 

However, there is something you can do to show Gordon, Labour and the rest of the deficit denying, head-in-the-sand, carry on spending brigade that enough is enough. That is to give the Rally Against the Debt an hour of your time on Saturday morning  in Westminster. Guido will be taking to the soapbox and wants to see as many co-conspirators there as possible…