Tuesday, January 15, 2013

Gordon’s Alive: Prime Mentalist Finally Turns Up

See you at Christmas…

UPDATE:

Double Whammy

Gordon is in town as is big oil’s Al Gore, who was sighted on Air Street earlier. Which reminded Guido of one his favourite videos…

Tuesday, December 18, 2012

Gordon’s Alive: Worth Every Penny

It’s well over a year now since Gordon Brown has spoken in Parliament but he has manged to put in two written questions on behalf of his constituents. The enquiries to the MOD are on the identical topic to his last batch of questions – ten months ago.

Written Answers – Defence: Dalgety Bay (17 Dec 2012)
Gordon Brown: To ask the Secretary of State for Defence what recent
assessment he has made of reports on the incidence of cancer in the
Dalgety Bay area.

So Brown’s total of contribution this year has extended to nine written questions, which on his MPs salary puts that at about £7,300 a pop. And that’s before you factor in the expenses he still has the cheek to claim…

Tuesday, November 27, 2012

PHOTO: Gordon’s Aliiiiiive!
Prime Mentalist Spotted Very Near Chamber

Guido’s mole reports a flurry of Westminster activity from the former Prime Mentalist.  Not only did Gordon actually vote last night, he almost made it into the Chamber today. But not quite! He stopped short behind the Speaker’s chair.

So, Leveson aside, why is Brown in town? Guido can report that instead of representing the people of Kirkcaldy, as he is paid to do, Gordon was showing a mysterious balding gentleman around the estate.

A doorman’s conversation was overheard by one witty Member:

Doorman: Who was that then?

MP: The former Prime Minster.

DM: No, no with him.

Boom-tish.

Monday, November 26, 2012

Sarah’s CV

It seems that Gordon Brown’s wife Sarah has joined the board of the Harrods. Presumably her long years of experience dealing with a paranoid conspiracy theorist made her the perfect candidate for the job…

UPDATE: It would seem Al Fayed sold Harrods to Qatar Holdings. Still laughing at the picture though…

Friday, September 28, 2012

Gordon’s Reality Check

If the Prime Mentalist didn’t already know just how much everyone misses him, he will now. Gordon was supposed to speak at a press conference at the UN in New York last night but had to cancel after just one journalist turned up. McMental had hoped to enthrall a room of hacks with a speech about his latest schools initiative but was left red-faced when he was confronted with an empty room. It’s almost tragic. Almost…

Thursday, September 27, 2012

Jonah’s Tranquil Vision

In the wake of the carnage he wrought by opening the NYSE on Tuesday, Gordon has been speaking out about the state of the economy. Yesterday morning Reuters reported:

“Europe is enjoying a moment of calm due to the European Central Bank’s plan to buy debt of euro zone countries, but the region will struggle to solve more fundamental problems, former British Prime Minister Gordon Brown said on Tuesday.”You’re in the new tranquillity period,” Brown said.”

By yesterday afternoon there were riots on the streets of Athens and Madrid, Spanish bond yields started to soar again.

Fears of Spanish bailout wiped £23 billion off British markets as the FTSE plunged 91.62 points.

The Prime Mentalist did always have problems with the concept of tranquillity…

Tuesday, September 25, 2012

He’s Still Jonah Brown

As we predicted beforehand, the Jonah effect wiped over 100 points off the value of the Dow and saw the NASDAQ experience its worst day since June. If you watch the video closely you’ll see that he even screwed up “ringing the bell” to open Wall Street.

He’s still the accursed one-eyed son of the manse…

Sell! Sell! Sell!

Any whisper of greenshoots will be wiped out at 14:30 GMT when Jonah Brown rings the bell at the New York Stock Exchange:

“On Tuesday, September 25, Gordon Brown, UN Special Envoy for Global Education and former UK Prime Minister, and his wife Sarah Brown, founding Chair of the Global Business Coalition for Education will visit the New York Stock Exchange and ring The Opening Bell. In his capacity as UN Special Envoy for Global Education, Mr. Brown is joining with UN Secretary-General Ban Ki-moon at the UNGA this week to launch Education First, a UN initiative to put education on top of the development agenda.”

Arrrrrgh…

UPDATE: Oh no:

Thursday, August 9, 2012

Bad Omen for Tom Daley Tomorrow

The Curse of Cameron meme didn’t last very long, especially given Team GB had their most successful track and field day with the PM cheering them on in the stadium last weekend. What it did prove is quite how much Guido’s Jonah Brown campaign clearly got under people’s skin. The problem was that one was actually a real curse. So on that note, Guido is sad to say it’s not looking good for young diver Tom Daley, who having missed out on a medal already is taking part in the individual 10m diving tomorrow. This is what Sarah Brown just tweeted:

Will he be able to smash the curse of Jonah Brown?

Via @grimreaperblog

Seen Elsewhere

What We Learned From the Referendum | FT
Scottish Crisis Moves South | Nick Wood
English Democrats Accidentally Celebrate Yes Victory | Pink News
Union In Its Current Form is Dead | Janan Ganesh
Labour Could Be Split in Two | Sun
Ashcroft Poll: Why Scotland Voted No | Buzzfeed
Boris: Change Barnett Formula | Sun
Cameron is Back | Dan Hodges
What Happens Now | James Kirkup
Cairo of the North | Quentin Letts
Labour are the Biggest Losers | Phil Collins


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Diane Abbott on the Daily Politics:

“Labour MPs will unite behind Ed Miliband, once we find out what our policies are.”



It was only a tiny tiny collision.


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