PHOTO: Gordon’s Aliiiiiive!
Prime Mentalist Spotted Very Near Chamber

Guido’s mole reports a flurry of Westminster activity from the former Prime Mentalist.  Not only did Gordon actually vote last night, he almost made it into the Chamber today. But not quite! He stopped short behind the Speaker’s chair.

So, Leveson aside, why is Brown in town? Guido can report that instead of representing the people of Kirkcaldy, as he is paid to do, Gordon was showing a mysterious balding gentleman around the estate.

A doorman’s conversation was overheard by one witty Member:

Doorman: Who was that then?

MP: The former Prime Minster.

DM: No, no with him.

Boom-tish.

Sarah’s CV

It seems that Gordon Brown’s wife Sarah has joined the board of the Harrods. Presumably her long years of experience dealing with a paranoid conspiracy theorist made her the perfect candidate for the job…

UPDATE: It would seem Al Fayed sold Harrods to Qatar Holdings. Still laughing at the picture though…

Gordon’s Reality Check

If the Prime Mentalist didn’t already know just how much everyone misses him, he will now. Gordon was supposed to speak at a press conference at the UN in New York last night but had to cancel after just one journalist turned up. McMental had hoped to enthrall a room of hacks with a speech about his latest schools initiative but was left red-faced when he was confronted with an empty room. It’s almost tragic. Almost…

Jonah’s Tranquil Vision

In the wake of the carnage he wrought by opening the NYSE on Tuesday, Gordon has been speaking out about the state of the economy. Yesterday morning Reuters reported:

“Europe is enjoying a moment of calm due to the European Central Bank’s plan to buy debt of euro zone countries, but the region will struggle to solve more fundamental problems, former British Prime Minister Gordon Brown said on Tuesday.”You’re in the new tranquillity period,” Brown said.”

By yesterday afternoon there were riots on the streets of Athens and Madrid, Spanish bond yields started to soar again.

Fears of Spanish bailout wiped £23 billion off British markets as the FTSE plunged 91.62 points.

The Prime Mentalist did always have problems with the concept of tranquillity…

He’s Still Jonah Brown

As we predicted beforehand, the Jonah effect wiped over 100 points off the value of the Dow and saw the NASDAQ experience its worst day since June. If you watch the video closely you’ll see that he even screwed up “ringing the bell” to open Wall Street.

He’s still the accursed one-eyed son of the manse…

Sell! Sell! Sell!

Any whisper of greenshoots will be wiped out at 14:30 GMT when Jonah Brown rings the bell at the New York Stock Exchange:

“On Tuesday, September 25, Gordon Brown, UN Special Envoy for Global Education and former UK Prime Minister, and his wife Sarah Brown, founding Chair of the Global Business Coalition for Education will visit the New York Stock Exchange and ring The Opening Bell. In his capacity as UN Special Envoy for Global Education, Mr. Brown is joining with UN Secretary-General Ban Ki-moon at the UNGA this week to launch Education First, a UN initiative to put education on top of the development agenda.”

Arrrrrgh…

UPDATE: Oh no:

Bad Omen for Tom Daley Tomorrow

The Curse of Cameron meme didn’t last very long, especially given Team GB had their most successful track and field day with the PM cheering them on in the stadium last weekend. What it did prove is quite how much Guido’s Jonah Brown campaign clearly got under people’s skin. The problem was that one was actually a real curse. So on that note, Guido is sad to say it’s not looking good for young diver Tom Daley, who having missed out on a medal already is taking part in the individual 10m diving tomorrow. This is what Sarah Brown just tweeted:

Will he be able to smash the curse of Jonah Brown?

Via @grimreaperblog

Fools Gold

Give that man a medal…

Picture: Compare and Contrast PMs’ Body Language

Now Guido is no body language expert, but you don’t have to be to work out who hates each other here…[…]

Gordon Does His Bit For Team GB

There was some great news for Team GB this morning.

Perhaps this will be a […]

Gordon Brown In Shock Sedition Trial

Guido got his hopes up when he saw that Gordon Brown would be appearing in the dock in a Kuala Lumpur court, but sadly the Prime Mentalist will only be a witness rather than a suspect. According to Malaysian newspaper […]

Jet-Setting Former PMs Funded By Taxpayer

Mad Frankie Maude has released the figures showing how much former Prime Ministers have been claiming in allowances over the last year. Both Tony Blair and John Major asked the taxpayer for the maximum £115,000 in order to “meet […]



Tip offs: 0709 284 0531
team@Order-order.com

Quote of the Day

Tim Shipman to Adam Boulton on the TV debates…

“If Cameron gets in a car to go to the debate, Lynton Crosby will stage a car crash.”

Top Posts This Week

Guidogram: Sign up

Subscribe to the most succinct 7 days a week daily email read by thousands of Westminster insiders.

Facebook

Guardianistas Vote for Editor Guardianistas Vote for Editor
Former Tory MP Denies ‘Rent Boy Ring’ Former Tory MP Denies ‘Rent Boy Ring’
JEREMY HUNT SLASHES NHS TECH FUND JEREMY HUNT SLASHES NHS TECH FUND
Gordon’s Seat Could Go to SNP Gordon’s Seat Could Go to SNP
NHS ADMIT MEDICAL RECORDS ARE NOT SAFE NHS ADMIT MEDICAL RECORDS ARE NOT SAFE
Today’s PMQs SKETCH: A New Low Today’s PMQs SKETCH: A New Low

Yet Another Mainstream Media UKIP Smear Yet Another Mainstream Media UKIP Smear
HANDS ON WITH THE NEW SINCLAIR ZX SPECTRUM HANDS ON WITH THE NEW SINCLAIR ZX SPECTRUM
Typical Trade Union Drivers Typical Trade Union Drivers
Labour MP in Misuse of Taxpayer Cash Row Labour MP in Misuse of Taxpayer Cash Row
BOFFINS: CLIMATE CHANGE CAUSED ISIS BOFFINS: CLIMATE CHANGE CAUSED ISIS
Mystery of Massive Miliband Mystery of Massive Miliband
Cameron With a Gun to His Head Cameron With a Gun to His Head
Save the Children Sorry For Blair Award Save the Children Sorry For Blair Award
Another NHS Hospital Shamed Another NHS Hospital Shamed
Widespread and Habitual Hacking at the Mirror Widespread and Habitual Hacking at the Mirror
Will Straw Silent on Sleaze Will Straw Silent on Sleaze
When Dave Met Walliams When Dave Met Walliams
Follow

Get every new post delivered to your Inbox.

Join 1,817 other followers