Tuesday, February 26, 2008

Polls Tell Labour Blair Was Better

It must be a bit galling for the Brownies to discover that Cameron not only as expected wins over “toffs” (in the vernacular of Kevin Maguire’s fantasy Beano world) – the breakdown is now showing Cameron ahead in the lower D & E income groups in England. Even in Maguire’s North East home region (not in his adopted millionaire’s colony of Richmond) the Tories are more popular than Brown. That is Labour’s heartland, if they can’t win there, they can’t win anywhere.

The SNP are hammering the corrupt Scottish Labour Party, now if only the LibDems could pull some more votes from Labour, the anti-Brown vote will reach 2 to1 in England. Guido always said the Labour Party would come to miss Blair, watching Portillo last night on Thatcher it was interesting how even the dripping wet Chris Patten regretted the manner of getting rid of her – in hindsight it would have been better to let the voters decide rather than disaffected MPs.

Similarly many Labour MPs in marginals will, come the general election, rue the day they swapped a proven three times winner for a dithering, cowardly, psychologically flawed weirdo.

Wednesday, February 20, 2008

Fijian PM is Commander Bainimarama
British PM is Completely Bananas

Guido is not making this up, this is the official advertising campaign for the Fijian Visitors Bureau:Fijime.comGordon gave permission for the use of his image according to the advertising agency behind the advert “so long as it was not derogatory and it did not appear that he was endorsing the islands in any way. We showed them the image of the Prime Minister with the red flower behind his ear and they said it was okay to use”. Presumably the PM just wants to show solidarity with another unelected PM?UPDATE : Have just been looking into the situation in Fiji, widespread human rights abuses, suppression of pro-democracy activists, violence against activists by the dictatorship and the jailing of independent bloggers in the forefront of the widely suppressed anti-government media. You can see the attraction for Gordon…

Monday, February 18, 2008

Gordon’s Jinx : It Is Official!

At the Lobby briefing this afternoon the PMOS confirmed that Gordon is a Jonah. A member of the fearless Lobby asked the PMOS “Which football match had the Prime Minister attended on Saturday?”

“Raith Rovers” replied the PMOS.

” They lost, didn’t they,” said the correspondent.

” I don’t know,” said the PMOS. ” They must have done – every team he goes to watch loses,” continued the PMOS.

Things are now so bad in England under Gordon that residents in the Northumberland town of beautiful Berwick-upon-Tweed have voted in favour of becoming part of free Scotland under the SNP.

According to a poll for ITV1’s Tonight programme (to be broadcast 8pm, errm, tonight) 60% want the town to be administered by Scotland. Better public services, including free care for the elderly, were the main reasons. The SNP’s Christine Grahame has tabled a motion in the Scottish Parliament calling for the town to “return to the fold”.

If only we could return Gordon to whence he came so easily…

Monday, February 11, 2008

Gordon Jinx Hits Manchester United

Every international football and rugby match Gordon has attended since he has become PM has led to a defeat for England or Scotland. His Jonah-like jinx now seemingly extends to club matches. On a day of high emotion at Old Trafford, in front of survivors of the Munich crash and the families of the victims, Brown turned up. The result? Manchester United lost at home for the first time against City in 34 years!

Is this a good sign for the blues?

Wednesday, February 6, 2008

+++ McCAIN CANCELS BROWN MEETING +++

“Too busy” says McCain. Or is there another reason he didn’t want to shake hands with Gordon?

Wednesday, January 23, 2008

Gordon Earns Himself a Blue Peter Badge

As markets plunged yesterday George Bush convened a White House summit to push an emergency $150 billion growth stimulus package through Congress in weeks. He called in heavyweight politicians for a bipartisan effort. Elsewhere in Washington an emergency meeting of the Federal Reserve slashed interest rates 75 basis points in an effort to shore up global markets fearing recession. What does Gordon do?
He takes time out to appear on Blue Peter to wish Konnie Huq good luck in her next job. Yes, the Prime Minister has his own weird sense of priorities.

Tuesday, January 22, 2008

Gordon is a Jonah

Gordon goes to Heathrow. Airplane crashes. Lands in India. Bombay Stock Exchange has record all time losses falling 15%. Returns to London, London Stock Exchange crashes. When he first became PM, God punished the people of England with floods, pestilence and Islamic fires of terror. Every national sporting event he visits, the home team loses. God must really hate Gordon…

Thursday, January 3, 2008

Gordon Plans to Water the Workers’ Beer

As sterling plummets against all currencies (apart from the Pakistani Rupee) Guido’s thoughts turn nostalgically to Jim Callaghan, a former Chancellor who became Prime Minister in 1976 and presided over a sterling crisis (what crisis?). He once sung a little ditty to the Labour Party conference that seems appropriate this morning -

I am the man, the very fat man,
That waters the workers’ beer
I am the man, the very fat man,
That waters the workers’ beer
And what do I care if it makes them ill,
If it makes them terribly queer
I’ve a car, a yacht, and an aeroplane,
And I waters the workers’ beer

The relevance of this is that the government is briefing that Gordon Brown will take personal charge of a package of measures to create a “cultural shift” away from the epidemic of binge drinking. Does the PM think this the priority issue facing the country or is it just Stalinist control-freakery?

There is to be a Downing Street summit. According to the Indy “Ministers are also contemplating moves to raise the tax on the most potent beers and mixers associated with binge drinking by putting duty on units of alcohol. Mr Brown is also being urged by Labour MPs to force supermarkets to raise the minimum price of drink to reduce the attraction of cheap alcohol.” Yes, Gordon’s the man, the tax man, that taxes the workers’ beer…

Wednesday, December 19, 2007

Courageous Gordon to Use Alistair as Human Shield

The PM’s monthly news conference will be a laugh* in ten minutes. Notice it is called the PM’s monthly news conference, yet this month he is bringing Alistair Darling along to take the blame for the inevitable questions about Northern Crock. He couldn’t do his usual Macavity trick and disappear so he is going to try to hide behind his Darling Chancellor instead.

*Maybe not.

Monday, December 17, 2007

We Told You So…


John Hutton didn’t mince his words when he gave Nick Robinson his prediction. He was right.


He made this forecast (video here) to a Question Time audience. He got it wrong, it took five months.


They are going to miss three times election winning Blair when he is gone. Wait and see…
26 June 2007

Labour have acted like lemmings, dispensing with their most successful leader of all time for a less popular, less likeable replacement. The more the voters see of Gordon, the worse it will get.
May 13, 2007

You have to wonder if the Labour party is having a collective moment of Lemming-like lunacy... The Brown bounce will be a dead-Lemming bounce.
April 27, 2007

Remind Guido why they are getting rid of three-times-winner Blair early?
April 25, 2007

The Tories are on polling levels last seen at the height of Thatcher’s popularity during the national euphoria following the Falklands victory. Gordon Brown has been a f***ing disaster for the Labour party…

Seen Elsewhere

Grayling: Bercow Faces Questions | Sun
Paul Flynn Could Learn a Lot From a Trip to Israel | Breitbart
50 Shades of Grayling | Speccie
Bercow’s £12,000 of VIP Sporting Freebies | Sun
Aldous Huxley v George Orwell | FatPita
Blinkered BBC is Ripe for Reform | David Keighley
Calls for Bercow to Face Inquiry | Mail
Labour Mad to Fight Tories on Tax | Dan Hodges
Right to be Forgotten is a Disaster | Padraig Reidy
Dave Could Be Finished Before 50 | James Forsyth
Why Do Politicians Keep Getting Caught on Tape? | BBC


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Knifed former civil service chief Bob Kerslake on his recent troubles:

“Many thks for kind wishes following back opn. Incision measured 16cm. A pretty big knife in the back! Photos on request.”



TJ says:

And i’ve noticed that 100% of Guido Fawkes staff are men. Looks like Guido has a woman problem. Or is it an hypocrisy problem?


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